A Beautiful Fug

PAUL: Jennifer... darling, I wish you'd listened to me before we left the house...

JENNIFER: Oh, honey, you're exaggerating how bad it is.

PAUL: I'm not, pet, it's... just calm down and hear me out...

JENNIFER: We've been OVER THIS. I forgot to buy new nipple flowers, I figured nobody would notice if I strapped a belt over them instead since the kids are so into superfluous belting these days, and poof! Instant cover! Nobody's going to notice my nipples and I look impossibly trendy. I WIN.

PAUL: No, sweetpea -- look, I don't know how to tell you this, but your breasts are actually trying to do a runner.

JENNIFER: Wait, what?

PAUL: After being pounded against your torso for the better part of the limo ride, they found an escape hatch down below they could wiggle through, and are making a break for it. One of your nipples is just about free.

JENNIFER: I feel woozy.

PAUL: Also, in case you're curious, your right breast is the tortoise in this early part of the race.

JENNIFER: You'll catch me if I faint, right?

PAUL: I'm so sorry. We should get you home. This is troubling. Especially since you're pregnant again.

JENNIFER: I'm WHAT?

PAUL: You're not? I mean, I saw the... I just assumed... never mind.

JENNIFER: Once I get my breasts back in place I'm going to kill you.

PAUL: Oh, no. Please don't make me watch Career Opportunities again. I SWEAR I'm sorry.

JENNIFER: Oho, bucko, it's worse than that -- I'm going to make you watch Wimbledon.