Billboard Music Awards Fug: Nelly Furtado

"See? I can TOO crack a real smile! Way to go, me! I'm showing my teeth and scrunching my face -- it totally moves! -- and I'm standing here swaddled in some very depressing upholstery and yet I'm STILL SMILING and I am ROCKING ON WITH MY CHEERFUL SELF and EVERYTHING IS OKAY HERE. I don't know WHAT you people were talking about! Happyyyyyyyyy!"