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March 12, 2007

Fug Break

An Open Letter to Dominic Purcell:

Dear Dominic,

You are a handsome, chiseled man and, by all accounts, a tall drink of water (IMDb puts you at over six feet).  For that, you should be sending the genetic lottery a thank you note and maybe some flowers -- personally, I like peonies, but I obviously don't work for the genetic lottery, or I would have given myself longer legs. Roses are always a safe bet. Or cookies! The people in charge of the genetic lottery can eat as many cookies as they like, seeing as they never get fat.  At any rate, you definitely shouldn't be taking what the good Lord gave you and and doing this to it:

 

Look how short your legs look, dude! They're not short! There's absolutely no reason for you to look so short and schlumpy when you've been given the material to look...you know, the total opposite of that. Your shoes aren't even tied properly. You're a grown-ass man with four children -- all of whom, I've learned, thanks again to IMDb, have totally lovely normal names, so way to go with that -- and you shouldn't be slouching around with baggy pants and untied (though cool-looking) kicks.  Even K-Fed's not doing that anymore, dude. Get with the program!

Also, I don't watch Prison Break, but I'm sure you're very good in it.

Love,

Jessica

Posted by Jessica at 07:23 AM | Permalink

 

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