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March 28, 2007

The Fug

You know that part during the Oscars pre-show where one of the Nancy O'Dell-types asks all the actors what they ate before the red carpet, thereby continuing society's fascination with the eating habits or lack thereof of the rich and famous? And Cameron Diaz is usually like, "I ate a 4 x 4!" and Beyonce is like, "I had a Big Mac!" and Jessica Alba is like, "I inhaled a Whopper!" because part of the problem in Hollywood is not only that no one eats ever, but also that no one eats and then totally pretends that they eat ALL THE TIME and they never have to work out, really, even though they have their picture snapped rolling around with an exercise ball with a trainer all the time and then everyone in the real world is like, "Damn, she eats cheeseburgers all the time and looks like that? WOE IS ME,"  when the truth of the matter is that it takes a lot of work to be as trim as most of those girls.

So when they got around to E! host Debbie Matenopoulos and she said, "Oh, I don't eat," I was kind of like, "oh, honesty! How refreshing! Will someone please pass the bucket of wings? Oh, and the Oreos. An some cream cheese, if you've got it." But now that I've seen some recent pics of La Matenopoulous, it's kind of clear that she really wasn't kidding, nor did she mean, "I haven't eaten in two weeks so I can fit into this dress."

The trouble is, she seems so pleased that she doesn't eat, from announcing it gleefully on television, to aping the dress Keira Knightley wore that prompted everyone to scream "EATING DISORDER." It didn't work on Keira and it scares me a bit on Debbie as well.  And while Keira was like, "listen, bitches, I've always been skinny," I kind of get the impression that Debbie's reaction might be, "oh, you NOTICED! I'm so glad."  And, honestly, that's kind of f'ed up. Not ever eating isn't really, you know, awesome. It's just no fun.

So here's yet another in our long line of pleas to the ladies of the world: we were not all built to weigh 90 pounds. Being healthy is a good thing: being HUNGRY just makes you really crabby and then your face starts to look prematurely aged, and while some people believe you can never be too thin, there's no cliche along the lines of "you can never be too cranky and gaunt." 

Apparently, cheeseburgers can help. Get on it, Debbie. Your body fat really misses you.

Posted by Jessica at 02:17 PM | Permalink


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