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March 15, 2007

Top Fug

So, I don't know if any of y'all are watching Top Design. It's one of those shows where every week I think to myself, "I don't know if I'm going to keep watching Top Design," but it shows up on my TiVo and I do watch it and there's at least one small moment that delights me and I can't cut the cord. Like a few weeks ago, Jonathan Adler squealed that he loved paint swatches and I was back in for another week. I ALSO love a swatch! The other good thing about it is that the judging is really sort of bitchy, which I appreciate. We want judges talking shit about cast members behind their backs! It's the whole point of competitive reality programming, shit-talking is. The other thing that is awesome, and by awesome, I mean crazy, are the outfits of one of the judges:  designer Kelly Wearstler. Now, this woman has designed some great interiors in her time and there was a spread on her in Vogue about two or three years ago in which she was photographed out by her pool with her kids and she was wearing this amazing Eres swimsuit and I read the article and I was like, "this woman is so chic. I love her."  So I know she has taste. And yet she keeps showing up in things like this:

[Photo via Bravo.TV]

Do I need to tell you which of these four people I am referring to? We've got a strapless gown last seen on one of my Barbie dolls, probably before I shaved her head (my Barbies led dramatic lives overly influenced by the daytime television I shouldn't have been sneaking. One of them threw a rival for Ken's affections down the elevator shaft of the Barbie Townhouse, for example, and I also remember telling my mother that the Barbies' smiling faces were inappropriate for the Barbie funeral I had to have after two of them jumped off the side of my bed in what seemed like a suicide pact, but which was actually just them faking their own deaths. My mom kindly gave me some black lace fabric scraps to make them veils for the funeral, and then cut off my access to All My Children), over jeans and a tee shirt. Seriously, just don't do that. Last week, she had all this crazy crimped hair, like, CRAZY, like CRAZY crimped, and prior to that, there was an incident with leg warmers. It is really kind of awesome, but in a way that is at best moderately deranged, and I spend a lot of time looking at her the way that fellow judge Margaret Russell is in this photo. The look says, "Girl, what are you doing?"  Because, seriously, girl, what are you doing?

...Other than keeping me tuning in to see your crazy outfits. Is this all some kind of elaborate plot to hang onto viewers? Damn it! I hate it when I am successfully manipulated by the media!

Posted by Jessica at 08:02 AM | Permalink


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