March 20, 2007
L.A. Fugshion Week: Well Played, Winnie Cooper
Okay, maybe it's not totally fair to call Danica McKellar by her Wonder Years alter-ego's name, as if she has never achieved anything else in life, but seriously, it's a compliment. Who didn't love Winnie Cooper and her pretty, pretty long hair? We all hoped she and Kevin Arnold would get it together, because -- to mix references for a second -- they were clearly each others' densities. Plus, the trivia that half the reason the characters ever had a falling-out was because Danica's growth spurt came faster than Fred Savage's and they didn't look right together is really kind of hilarious.
But then Danica McKellar decided to do something unusually ambitious: She dropped out of the public eye and went to college, and not only turned out to be some kind of math genius but actually helped prove a new theorem that now is named after her. Suck on that, Good Will Hunting. There aren't too many ways to top that, unless NASA decides to rechristen one of its shuttles "Danica," or somebody discovers a new constellation that clearly depicts her image. Me, I'd settle for having Diet Coke rename itself after me, but since "Diet Cocks" isn't really all that appealing-sounding (and yes, that is how you spell my last name, for real, and no, I was never a man) I can't see it ever happening.
At any rate, apparently Danica McKellar came from a blessed gene pool. Because aside from all that mathematical excitement, and her robust brains, she also grew up very lovely.
Normally, something about this dress would scream "lingerie" at me in an annoying, high-pitched wail, but Danica looks fantastic in it. And those shoes! I covet those shoes. I'm sure that's one of The Next 10 Commandments -- "thou shalt not covet thy fuggee's footwear" -- but, for one thing, I'm not fugging her per se, and for another, shove it. Those are fantastic. And Winnie is a knockout. Just imagine if the show were doing a reunion movie, and all the long, longing glances she and Kevin would exchange in order to make room for the pages and pages of yearning voice-over Daniel Stern would need to provide. I kind of wish it would happen, but I don't know if I could really cope with it emotionally because I burst into tears during the finale when it was revealed that Dan Lauria's Mr. Arnold died soon thereafter -- his gruff but lovable character, flaws and all, was the one that wrenched my heart the most whenever his kids got all uppity with him, and it always made me want to go give my dad a huge hug.
Not that this has anything to do with how hot Ms. Cooper-McKellar turned out to be. I'm just saying, I'm a giant softie, and also, I just checked and thank GOD, Dan Lauria himself is still alive. And I want her shoes.