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March 02, 2007

Wild Fugs

When I first saw this photo, I was completely confused. Was it a sculpture? A whimsical boot-shaped cigar-cutter? A magnifying glass for foot fetishists? Some sort of jar-opener? What? It couldn't be an actual SHOE that somebody would WEAR, so clearly, it had some other function.

Yet again, it was a foolhardy leap. Because sadly, at least in this case, often the obvious conclusion is the correct one.

Tichina Arnold looks rather badass in her leather ensemble, so we'll ignore all the bile rising up in our throats when we realize she's not only knowingly associating herself with the film Wild Hogs -- the existence of which makes our insides weep -- but that she's also in the movie.

And to be honest, she does pull off those crazy boots. Sure, every time my eyes travel down there, I think, "Man, they look like they're wearing earrings." But something about her overall sass level sells them. That said, though, on their own merits I think they're kind of confusing and hideous. Is it really comfortable to walk without an actual heel on your shoe? I know these are not the first shoes to carry that distinction, nor are they the last, but they are the ones that prompted me to ask the tough questions. Can you really balance with nothing but a metal circle under the ball of your foot? What if you drink too much? What if you need to kill a man and you don't have any kind of pointy anything on your feet with which to do it? What if someone thinks it's funny to slide a tree branch through your "heel" so that you trip and fall ass over boot-bracelet on the red carpet? Did no one consider these things?

Fortunately, we haven't heard any reports of Tichina Arnold suffering any head wounds in the past week, so it looks like she made it through unscathed. FOR NOW.

Posted by Heather at 01:29 PM | Permalink


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