October Fug

I really wanted to like October Road. I did. I am a big fan of the ABC Nighttime Drama That's Basically Sort of a Soap Opera Just Without Quite As Many Evil Twins genre as a whole. For pete's sake, I'm watching Men in Trees. But October Road -- I tried. Listen, I did. The guy in it is cute, and I'm generally too lazy to change the channel after Grey's Anatomy anyway. Also, that Pink song in the promos is really good. And yet, no. While I love the Nighttime Drama That's Basically Sort of a Soap Opera Just Without Quite As Many Evil Twins, I am so, so, so, SO over the Touching Story of a 30 Year Old Man Who Can't Figure His Life Out Despite The Fact That Everyone Else He Knows Has Their Shit Together. (Thanks for bringing that into vogue, Zach Braff.) How am I supposed to root for a protagonist who abandoned everyone he knew and loved for ten years and then wrote a scathing book about them? I mean, that guy's a douche. He might be a cute, bumbling douche, but how hard is it to pick up the phone and call your friends and tell them, "um, sorry I disappeared on you this summer. I think I might not come back home. Keep in touch. Oh, I'm writing a book. It's not based on you, I swear." IT'S NOT HARD. (Apparently, I have strong feelings about this.)

ANYWAY, because of these strong feelings, I spent much of October Road's premiere telling Laura Prepon (the douche's abandoned girlfriend) to punch that cute douche right in the mouth.  And it seems like the stress of not doing so has gotten to her:

Girl is dressed like it's laundry day and the only clean top she's got is from Talbot's, circa 1996. And while I appreciate her shit-kicking boots theoretically, they are that awkward height that no one can pull off. I once tried on an otherwise very cute pair of boots of a similar height in Bloomingdale's, and the girl sitting across from me -- a total stranger -- just looked at me and said, "No. You look stumpy." And she was right. The kindness of strangers, you know?  So this is my kindness to you, Laura Prepon: you look a bit drab. And I saw you in person once, and you're really cute, so I know this is just a temporary set-back. Just punch that guy on your show right in the mouth and go out and put on something cute. I swear, you'll feel much better!