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May 24, 2007

Dita Von Fug

I am not really familiar with Dita Von Teese. I mean, I know she was married to Marilyn Manson and now Evan Rachel Wood is Single White Female-ing her, and she does the burlesque, and she's refreshingly pale and retro and I suspect I would REALLY covet her shoe wardrobe. But I don't really have any preconceived notions of her, the way I do of other celebrities. Like, in my mind, Lindsay Lohan is a total mess, but she'd also ALWAYS have the best gossip about people and would totally be willing to help you egg the house of that douchey guy who broke up with you and if you ever wanted to stalk someone, she would be an enthusiastic sidekick who would not only drive your getaway car, but also bring Twizzlers and maybe at one point you would realized that she was WAY TOO INTO the whole idea of stalking.  And, like, Kirsten Dunst's house is probably kind of a mess and she hardly ever has her hair brushed and she also probably hasn't showered, but she totally doesn't care if you come over unannounced and sit on a pile of laundry and gossip while she gets ready to go out and then she'll drag you with her on her date, which will annoy the boy but also be secretly kind of funny. And Britney just calls and cries and you can have those kind of phone conversations where she talks and talks and you just make supportive murmuring noises and do the crossword. But I have no such theories about Ms. Von Teese. All I know is that I think she could have done better than this:

I just want to walk up to her and yank off the illusion net-y overshirty thingie (that's its official name, yes. Why do you ask?). I feel like she was aiming for this kind of effect, and yet instead managed to be reminiscent of Gunsmoke in a very unsexy way.

Posted by Jessica at 08:41 AM | Permalink


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