June 27, 2007
BET Awards Scrolldown Fug: Lil' Mama
Everything seemed to be going so well. The shirt is cute. The pants... might be cute if they didn't make her right leg look like it had sustained a wound from a Star Wars laser blaster.
But the shoes. The SHOES.
Or -- since, with the Dr. Moreau reference, this is apparently Marlon Brando Week here at GFY -- one might gasp, "The horror. The HORROR."
Anything this bad deserves a closer look. I think that's the Second Law of Fuggodynamics.
Let's take this in order.
1) They're wedges. And gladiator sandals. Together. Gladiages? Wedgiator sandals? See, if they don't have a mellifluous hybrid name -- like Brangelina, or ... Brangelina -- then those two things aren't meant to be combined. I believe that's actually something Us Weekly is seeking to add to the Constitution of the United States.
2) They are tied, and way too loosely I might add, OVER HER PANTS. Did we learn nothing from Sienna Miller doing the same? Don't encourage Sienna, please, or else she'll get back out there and keep trying.
3) Wow, this woman needs a pedicure.
4) Are those rhinestones? Are they BEDAZZLED wedgiator sandals?
5) I don't actually have a #5; I'm still just gaping at how she stuffed her jeans into her shoes. It means Lil' Mama went to a LOT of trouble to put these on and debut them for the world at the BET Awards. Which in turn means she must have sat at home going, "I can't wait to wear my new ass-kicking wedges. I just need the perfect outfit... OH MY GOD I KNOW, I'll wear them with my Skin Disease Jeans!"
I may need to lie down. But first I'm going to go thank all my shoes for not looking like these.