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June 18, 2007

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Two Ladies from Pine Valley

CHRISHELL STAUSE (right): God, I'm cute.

MELISSA CLAIRE EGAN (left): I'm so excited! It's my first Emmys!

CHRISHELL: Yeah, I can tell. I mean, you're LOVELY and all, but look, even that weird muse in Xanadu with the penis hairdo would dismiss your dress as "too disco."

MELISSA CLAIRE: You think so, Vegas bride?

CHRISHELL: Hey, at least I look kind of cool and sexy, and not like somebody gift-wrapped me after burning a copy of Saturday Night Fever and then snorting the ashes. And... I'm sorry, but is that a front panty-line, or is your dress just trying to mess up your photos?

MELISSA CLAIRE: This all seems very uncalled for from a girl who plays the once-unloved, now kind of wussy daughter of Janet From Another Planet on All My Children.

CHRISHELL: Janet is just misunderstood.

MELISSA CLAIRE: She's a psychotic baby-napper who threw her twin down a well; somehow convinced her twin's husband to fall in love with her after the sister went blind, got her sight back in A Christmas Miracle, and then eventually died; and then killed him years later and threw him in a deep-freezer.

CHRISHELL: You're so judgy. And shiny. Did you grease up your chest?

MELISSA CLAIRE: At least MY character is LOVED.

CHRISHELL: By who? Ryan? Please. He was married to a girl named GREENLEE, for God's sake.

MELISSA CLAIRE: So? He's the hero of the show. Every single script makes sure that somebody says so.

CHRISHELL: Well, he should have saved you from that dress.

MELISSA CLAIRE: Whatever. If Ryan's the stud then I am the AMC sweetheart. Suck on THAT.

CHRISHELL: Just don't come crying to me when your tube top starts to chafe. Smile for the camera!

MELISSA CLAIRE: Yeah, you won't smile so wide when I remind you that I am BIG TIME because I was one One Tree Hill once, as a cashier or something... so take THAT.

CHRISHELL: Pshaw. If Chad Michael Murray didn't try to propose to you, it doesn't count.


Posted by Heather at 10:17 AM in Emmy Awards | Permalink


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