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June 22, 2007

Fug On Earth

Well, I guess it's nice to see that Leelee Sobieski is continuing to refine her bitchface -- after all, everyone needs a talent, and without it we might not recognize her any more.

However, it is a shame that she is using her Maidenform Body-Skimming Corset in "Blush" as if it were a legitimate top. It's a tad desperate, not to mention fugtacular. At this point I said to myself, "Well, that's that. I don't need to see the rest, because surely wrapping what looks like a bolt of black spandex around a strapless bra is as bad as it gets." 

And yet, as ever, I should know better.

You know, I'm not sure why I dare to hope any more. It never works out for me. Either Leelee is wearing black rib bandaging wrapped the aforementioned corset bra and then TUCKED INTO HIGH-WAISTED PANTS, which by the way also give her a touch of the polterwang, or she actually went and purchased a truly nightmarish catsuit. And Leelee, I hate to break it to you, but Cats is over, okay? It's gone. You can't play Magical Mr. Mistoffelees, because Macavity the Mystery Cat cleverly chased all the Jellicles away. So please, if that IS a catsuit, in the name of all that is holy (read: Bob Barker), get that thing spayed or neutered before it has the chance to reproduce.

And if it's not... well, then I'm not sure sure how to help you. Those pants bespeak problems I'm not qualified to solve. In fact, they're making me reach for the Shiraz despite the fact that we're still on the breakfast side of 11 a.m. Intern George isn't even around yet to save my hands from the perils of the corkscrew. See what you've done to me?

Posted by Heather at 10:23 AM | Permalink


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