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June 06, 2007

Fugssions

Oh, McKenzie Westmore. Listen, I know your alter ego Sheridan has had it tough lately on Passions, what with love of her life, Hot Luis, being in prison facing the death penalty; Hot Luis falling in love with a girl named Fancy (who, I kid you not, apparently has a sister named Pretty); Sheridan trying to win him back by greasing up her hair, slapping on a goatee, and posing as his male cell mate; Luis's brother in the cell across the way (of course) catching those two making out and thinking Luis was exploring men (when, in fact, the bisexual on the show is Chad -- who  impregnated a girl he later found out was his sister, except of course after she'd been in a convent for a year they found out they're not related); having to shower with the other inmates while Luis and Miguel sheltered your boobs from the other prisoners; and having to protect poor old blind Father Lonigan from The Mysterious Masked She-Man, who is terrorizing him with a gun and blackmailing half of Harmony while wearing a crazy-bad wig and an outfit that's half girly and half manly, sewn together vertically down the middle.

So yeah, I get it. Times are tough.

But not this tough -- not dress-over-pants tough. It's summer! Why not wear that dress as, you know, a dress? Are you jealous of the She-Man's split wardrobe, ham-handedly trying to achieve a similar effect on a horizontal axis? Because it doesn't really work -- much like that whole storyline where you had amnesia and married to Luis's long-lost brother, only to regain your memory back in Harmony just in time for Antonio to go blind from a brain fog that meant you couldn't tell him about your past with Luis or else his head would blow up. Although it was hilarious in theory, it's not good when a story about a cuckolded dying blind man makes me want to punch the aforementioned cuckolded dying blind man in the nose.

Much like wearing a dress over pants is not good. Which brings us right back around on topic. How nice.

Posted by Heather at 12:10 PM | Permalink

 

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