July 11, 2007
"Hey guys, it's me! Tara Reid!
Do you like the new me? I've just entered my Grey Gardens period. I did the Sweet Ingenue thing, then I did the Drunky Mess, and then I did the boob-flashing -- way before any of these other dumb girls, thank you very much -- then I did the I'm So Sorry About The Drunk Boob Flashing, Hear Me Wail About My Bad Plastic Surgery thing, and now I'm moving into Quirky and Covered Up Headscarf-Lover. Kind of a little bit Mary-Kate, with a dash of Arden Wohl and a hint of Grandma! And sure, unlike Mary Kate, Arden and Nana, it doesn't seem like a look I've entirely come up with all on my own, like I probably didn't wake up one morning and think, "I need more things tied around my head," unless I was dreaming about how I can't keep my hair on. But it's less predictable than those other personas, and at least I'm all covered up and sort of adult looking, finally, right? Right? I think so. Now, I just need to date a sort of brooding, brainy shipping heir to squire me around, and I'll be set! See you inside -- I hear there's an open bar!"