July 09, 2007
Say what you will about Sienna Miller's taste in clothes; she's still a really cute girl. In fact, her face is usually the thing that works about what she's wearing -- as in, "Why is such a pretty girl wearing a moldy old tarp that's probably caked in refuse?"
Ergo, it's distressing to see that for her trip to Rome, she chose to hire a box of crayons to do her makeup.
I know that for a big event honoring Valentino's life's work, she is probably required to wear something by Valentino. But frankly, Penelope Cruz at this year's Oscars kind of ruined me on dresses with dramatic feathery skirts. Hers was elegant and fanciful; by comparison, this one looks like somebody stole a red spandex number from the closet of one of my grade 9 classmates and finished the skirt by sewing on the skin of 100 Tickle Me Elmo dolls. Eye-catching, yes, but also potentially disturbing to small children.
But generally, I'm not looking at the dress, because I'm trying so hard to decide which of Crayola's many glorious brown shades -- Raw Sienna? Chestnut? Antique Brass? Or plain old Brown? -- she decided to use as her eyebrow pencil. It's a tad overwhelming. She just doesn't quite look like herself, as if this is her overly shiny and apple-cheeked wax replica, posed awkwardly as if she's ushering tourists into Madame Tussaud's Hall of Questionable Talent.