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August 03, 2007

Fug the Cover: Sarah Michelle Gellar

"God, I wonder if we can we stop for a second. I'm getting a nasty crick in my back. I'm sitting here rubbing my freaking BACK in the middle of a photo shoot and nobody even cares. Whoever told me to lean against this wall for this entire shoot is going to be FIRED by the end of the day. My... OW! MOTHERF&%*ER! My ass is falling asleep, I chugged two Diet Cokes and now I kind of have to go to the bathroom, and now my freaking KNEE IS GIVING OUT and I can't even focus my eyes in the same direction. Deep breath, Sarah Michelle, stay calm, stay on top of it, try to make it look like you're giving yourself sexy massages... Okay, shit, this position is really uncomfortable. I'm pulling the muscles in my neck and all the tension there is giving me a migraine, and now my sternum looks two feet longer than it should somehow, and yet this person is STILL TAKING PICTURES OF ME LIKE THIS?!? This photographer will never work in this country again. Yes, that's right, ass-clown, I'm going to get you canned so hard your GRANDCHILDREN will be unemployed for eternity. Oh, it's going to be so sweet, I can almost smile through the rage. I'm coming for you. Buffy is going to vampire-slay your sorry ass into the next dimension of Hell. And send you my frickin' medical bills."

Posted by Heather at 08:44 AM in Fug The Cover | Permalink


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