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August 13, 2007

Fug The Fashion Spread: Gwyneth Paltrow

I've already pointed out how Gwynnie Paltrow totally looks like a dude on the cover of this month's W. In fact, a couple of brilliant readers wrote in to point out that not only does she look like a dude, she looks like Death Eater and noteworthy blond, Lucius Malfoy, which is one of those cross-pop-cultural references I really wish I'd thought of on my own.

Now, generally, we don't talk about editorial spreads in fashion magazines, because, you know, the models are supposed to look all hunched over and pained, whilst wearing pig heads or pretending to be dead or whatever. That's just the way it works, and it's often rather cool and fantastical or, at the very least, moderately diverting on an airplane.

On the other hand, do we ever need to see a shot of Gwyneth Paltrow petulantly feeding a rat from sippy cup while making what I presume is an nude dead-lip-hating bitchface?

No.

Nor do we ever need to see her with what appear to be spoons for ears:

Sure, I suppose it's possible to draw  a line between these two photographs that encompasses some sort of weird Kafka-meets-Stuart Little tale, in which Gwynnie both nurtures the rat and BECOMES the rat, but it is my contention that a fashion spread which would work well enough with a random gorgeous blank-faced model just feels almost unbearably pretentious with an actress. We get it, Gwyns: you're deep. I liked you better when you wouldn't shut up about yoga.

Posted by Jessica at 12:47 PM | Permalink

 

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