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August 20, 2007

FuggiDee English

You know what? I feel you, CariDee. I'm so stoked for the return of football season that I actually watched a SCRIMMAGE a week or two ago in which the defenses weren't even allowed to tackle the quarterback. It might as well have been flag football in my backyard. And I might be taping a rerun of a pre-season game tomorrow morning. So, I completely get your excitement and can't blame you for wearing a Snoopy shirt that reminds us all that a long, beautiful autumn full of weekend -- and Monday, and sometimes Thursday -- pigskin and copious screaming and being afraid to wash my jersey in case that launders the good luck right out of it and drinking more beer and making the occasional (read: frequent) rude gesture at the TV and eating LOTS of meat and meat-adjacent products like hot dogs and bratwurst and being so overwrought that I can't look and yet I can't NOT look... sigh. It's all right around the corner, as is my inevitable sports-related aneurysm.

[Photo: Splash News]

But no level of brain-bursting elation is an excuse for stumbling into your closet and coming out in shortie overalls, unless you have actually just had a cranial explosion (and if that's the case, bravo -- you've recovered REALLY nicely, but maybe go home and lie down). That thing is practically a halter top for your crotch. It looks like something you might wear in a barn, when you're trying to get the handsome stable hand to feed you a carrot and muck our your stall, so to speak.

Although... it does seem that you might be standing in front of a barn. A strange barn next to a concrete sidewalk. Maybe it's a barn-themed party? That could be sort of fun. Well, fun, until some dude shows up having chosen "your barn door is open" as his theme costume, thus giving everyone in attendance a sneak peek at the animal living in his pants.

Posted by Heather at 01:04 PM | Permalink


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