August 13, 2007
Scrolldown Fug: Ashley Olsen
Have you ever had one of those days when you just want to enjoy a summer evening breeze bare-legged, but unfortunately, you shaved your legs in a steamy shower after three margaritas and did a horribly crazy, botched job of it, and you lack the time and sobriety to try mowing the lawn a second time? So you're stuck either wearing boots, or wearing cute heels and hoping nobody stares at your calves and wonders if you are a huge The Tudors fan, because why else would you decide to recreate the leafy maze at Hampton Court on your shins?
Well, thank Ashley Olsen, then, because she's got just the footwear solution for you.
Perfect! They cover a multitude of Schick sins and still let you air out at least half the skin on your legs. As a bonus, if this turns into a toga party or a sequel to Gladiator spontaneously breaks out in the middle of the nightclub, you are completely ready for your close-up.
Shoes aside, the rest of her ensemble is actually pretty fetching and chic on her, with the tiny exception of the way the skirt makes me want to yank it down so that it no longer blouses out over the top of her cummerbund. Still, it takes guts to wear a cummerbund. In fact, if she'd worn less aggressive shoes, this whole thing would actually work for me. I like a lot of the risks she takes.
Especially if that is actually a box of crackers in her hand -- being seen out on the town with something that you put in your mouth and swallow? Something that has texture? And isn't indecent -- or, since for many in this town crackers are indecent, something that isn't going to get anyone arrested for exposure? Who'd have thought?