Brokefug Mountain

Dear Heath Ledger,

I recently heard about your break-up with Michelle Williams, and while I like you both very much individually, you often looked mildly cranky when in one another's company, so perhaps this is all for the best. And I see you've jetted off to Venice for the film festival, and presumably also to drown your sorrows in pasta and cheese. But here's the thing, sugar plum. You're on the market again. So, why this?

Sweetpea. Seriously. No. I know you're playing the Joker in the next Batman movie, but now is not the time to go Method on us.