September 10, 2007
Fugployee of the Month
Seriously, J Simp is such a tragic figure right now:
What is her deal? It's beginning to feel like this creature we've been seeing lately is not the real Jessica Simpson, but will actually soon be revealed to be the Jessica SIMson, a simulation of the real J Simp, available for purchase at the low, low price of $199.99 on QVC as they branch out into the lucrative but as yet untapped world of sex dolls. And, look, dude, we're not saying that there aren't some evenings when you finish your steak frites and wonder what to wear to XYZ Event and think, "tonight, I fully want to resemble a Real Doll," but for real, you can't do that EVERY NIGHT or people will begin to cast aspersions.