September 21, 2007
Completely missing the point of the revolution it's bastardizing, Nike is oddly pleased to announce its new line of dress sneakers to be sold under the slogan, "Looks like a sneaker, feels like a pump."
And who better to debut them than a girl who looks like she spent $2 to rent a dress from a costume shop specializing in ill-fitting nightgowns. Which I guess might come in handy if you're playing Daisy Mae in the little-known Lil' Abner 2: Lil'er Abner, wherein Daisy is frightened to learn the details of coitus and flees from her marriage bed. For the red carpet, though, I might've gone with something that actually fit, and was somewhat attractive, rather than an outfit that Forever 21 would cast out of its stores for being "too poorly made."