October 11, 2007
Oh, Kristen Bell, I don't even know:
I mean, no one loves the whole Ruffly 80s Barbie Top more than I do, if only because it brings back memories of the Christmases of my youth, and because it makes me wonder if -- like many tops owned by Barbies of that era -- it is reversable, turns into a mini skirt, is hiding a sequined tube top, or will later be used to strangle Dream Date Ken to death after it is revealed that he is ALSO squiring around Tracy, of the Tracy and Todd wedding dolls. (My Tracy and Todd endured a terrible tragedy, namely that the rubber band holding his lower body to his upper body snapped while they were dancing at their wedding reception -- a lavish affair in my family's TV room -- and she found herself married to a bitter paraplegic and sought comfort with that cad Dream Date Ken.)
Equally tragic is K. Bell's insistence on wearing her Barbie top with a poufy tulip skirt, thus making her look rather like an oversized black and white cookie.
You're a TINY LITTLE PERSON, but that doesn't mean you get to flout the old "Balance Something Overwhelming With Something Very Very Whelming Indeed" rule. This is Overwhelming Plus Overwhelming and while I LOVE the shoes, GIRL, you NEED to stop wearing things that CUT YOU OFF. Even that ass Dream Date Ken knows that.