Fugger Graham

Okay, Heather, listen to me carefully: Be VERY still.

I'm deadly serious. Don't move. Don't turn or swivel or even so much as lean in any direction. Definitely don't sneeze. Refuse to wave. And for the love of God, don't jump around, no matter how vigorously House of Pain might entreat you to do. Just stay still like a statue and try not to breathe too deeply, okay? TRUST ME.

Because -- and remember, stay calm when I tell you this -- I am pretty sure your dress is about to Tara Reid itself straight on down to your waist. In fact, your right boob is already fluffing itself for its inevitable entry into Taradise. And believe me, you don't want anything else besides your hair color in common with that sad, sodden starlet. So stand there and don't do anything that involves actual MOTION for... a little while. Maybe all night. However long it takes. It'll be hard, but stay alive -- some boob tape WILL find you. Or perhaps a harness.