ALEXA VEGA: Oh my GOD, I can't believe I'm getting photographed with PARIS HILTON. This is so AWESOME.
PARIS: What are you, person? You remind me of something.
ALEXA: My movie Spy Kids?
PARIS: No! Duh -- I hate science. I think it's... you kind of look like Lindsay Lohan rolling out of some dude's hotel room at seven in the morning.
ALEXA: Dammit, it's the stain on my pants, isn't it? I KNEW it was noticeable.
PARIS: No, that just reminds me of the time I puked all over Nicky's Cyndi Lauper costume.
ALEXA: When you were kids?
PARIS: Yeah, like two whole years ago, and she's STILL mad at it, like, whatever, I don't even REMEMBER anything else about that year. She tried to tell me that I didn't need to bring breath mints out with us on Halloween because it wasn't THAT kind of trick-or-treating, and I got so mad at her for killing my buzz.
PARIS: But THIS year I'm going as Wayne from Wayne's World. But, like, a sexy man-girl Wayne. The kind with BOOBS. This is most of what I'm wearing. Isn't it hott? You want me.
ALEXA: One time I got to...
PARIS: Hey listen, if I cut off one of your braids, could I smoke it?
ALEXA: What? So now you don't like my...
PARIS: I told Larry King I would be good. It's not illegal to inhale if I'm smoking hair, right?
ALEXA: I can't believe you're allowed to wear a wig and a trucker hat, and you're ragging on me for looking like Pippi Longstocking just discovered the 80s floor at Polly Esther's.
PARIS: Longstocking? What's that, like a body condom?
ALEXA: I'm beginning to think I've made a huge mistake.