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October 01, 2007

Random Fugs: German Edition

Every so often, as you have probably gleaned from how often we yap about it, we're inspired to let our fingers do the walking on our Random Fugs -- sometimes, we'd rather have another bag of Kettle Chips, of course, but other times our curiosity gets the best of us, and so far no cats have been harmed in any of these episodes.

More often than not, actually making an effort is richly rewarded by awesome information that warms our cold, dead hearts. Take actress Wolke Hegenbarth, for example. When you translate her Wikipedia page -- which we assume is probably not the most reliable or accurate way to read German, but we don't mind; it's almost better when it's jacked up -- it tells you that in addition to her TV role, she's starred in such moving cinematic poetry as One Dog, Two Suitcases, And A Very Large Love, and of course the classic Dead Trousers.

Evidently, the latter was a documentary.

In it, we learn how a girl and her obsession with bikini waxes led to the tragic ritual suicide of all her pants, which shredded themselves in protest because she refused to wear anything that covered her upper thighs. If a disco beach party breaks out -- as we assume it will, because nothing says "disco beach party" to us quite like the German Television Awards -- she'll be well prepared to do the Hustle either in or near the ocean.

Apparently, a theme at this year's boob-tube fete in lovely Deutschland was, "Have you heard about my waxer?" Behold:

"Look! Can you see? Smooth as a baby's bottom! I tucked a few of her business cards in there -- please take one!"

Whereas this lady would just like all the single men at the wedding to know that, while she hates the bridesmaid's dress, she is, ahem, groomed and ready.

Posted by Heather at 09:04 AM in Random Fug | Permalink


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