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November 05, 2007

The Best Fug Thing

So, it appears the Avril Lavigne Desperate Cry For Re-Invention/Alleged Press Tour of Great and Intense Boredom is back on track, and this time, what I am assuming is her cruddy attitude (since she looks so consistently cranky and bored), is infecting even outfits that might have been cute if she, you know, gave the proverbial rodent's derrière:

Snoooooooooore.  Hasn't she worn this, like EVERY SINGLE TIME she's left the house since 2002? Admittedly, I think this dress is kind of cute in a sort of high-class Hot-Topic/I Made This As My Senior Class Home Ec Project, Oh My God, Do You Want To Come Over and Listen To My Collection of Rare Save Ferris B-Sides?  kind of way, but does she look unenthusiastic about it, or what? I guess I would be cranky, too, if I were going out in the same sort of things I was sporting five years ago.

Buck up, stumpy, this dress would look divine if you hadn't styled it as though you were heading out to a Halloween party dressed as  "Avril Lavigne":

WE KNOW. YOU'RE "PUNK." And booooooored:

I have to say, while Avril's facial expressions and general public demeanor imply that she's totally insanely bored out of her mind and utterly uninterested in promoting her album or herself, it's hard to say if that's her fault entirely, or the fault of all the people assigned to follow her around and hand her things to wear. Although, frankly, she IS a grown-up and ostensibly has the ability to either say, "I am so tired of plaid, you guys. Seriously, if I have to wear something at all reminiscent of Catholic school, Scotsmen, or golf pants, I will seriously have a total hissy. Can we try stripes this time?" OR to realize that, for better or worse, she's married to the whole Fake-Ass Punk Aesthetic and she better get out there and sell the pants off it. I once had a job where I had to sit in a windowless closet and do date entry in Portuguese (I do not speak Portuguese) on a computer system so antiquated that if I made a typo, there was literally no way to fix it other than to re-do the entire fifty pages of Portuguese, and I seemed more excited to come to work everyday than she does.

Although, in the interest of full disclosure, I did quit that job after a month -- at which point my boss informed me that I was the WORST PORTUGUESE DATA ENTRY MONKEY EVER -- and spent the last three days on the clock locked in the windowless closet reading The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole, which did really help my ennui. Maybe she should try it.

Posted by Jessica at 12:15 PM | Permalink


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