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December 12, 2007

Fug the Cover: Mischa Barton

It seems like as soon as I asked the internet about the whereabouts of Mischa Barton, she appeared all over the place and on the cover of everything. Like Citizen K, which, as far as I can tell, is a Spanish magazine (I brilliantly deduced that from the words  "Espana" on the cover) covering fashion and entertainment and the like:

Sadly, it seems as though she's been using her downtime to do something unspeakable to Oscar the Grouch, not even giving him the honor of being an entire coat, but simply making him into sleeves.  As a huge fan of the seminal tune "I Love Trash," -- truly, it's neck and neck with "Rubber Ducky" as the best Sesame Street song ever, in my opinion, with honorable mention going to "C Is For Cookie," which I hear has been replaced by "Cookies Are A Sometimes Food," which, I sorry, is bullshit, because cookies are an ALWAYS food, they're just not a MASS QUANTITIES food. Why you gotta play me like this, Sesame Street? - I must protest this terrible injustice. I wonder if PETA has a Muppet Division?

Things are just as bad, in a wholly different way, inside the magazine:

I'm going to come out and admit that I hate these kinds of photo shoots. I know that expression is supposed to be all, "ooooh, I am sooooo sexy.Come over here and ravish me," but it often reads as, "ooh, I really shouldn't have had that last taco." Which is....maybe not what you want splashed all over the pages of your glossy magazine, you know?

Posted by Jessica at 12:38 PM in Mischa Barton | Permalink

 

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