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December 13, 2007

Well Played, Rachel Bilson

Rachel Bilson has been looking so cute lately. Why doesn't this girl have a regular job?

Seriously, someone needs to pay her once this strike is over to do more episodic work.  She was terrific as Summer, she was adorable a few weeks ago in a two-episode stint on Chuck -- where, ironically, she worked in a deli and extolled the virtues of sandwiches that I kind of wish she ate more of in real life -- and yet she only has one movie in the can since. You know, she would have been great in Samaire Armstrong's part on Dirty Sexy Money, but alas, that's not an option at this point. If only I had been consulted.

Fortunately this relative inactivity has not reduced her to a reclusive and messy life of Pringles-stained sweatpants and trucker hats. This dress is flattering, sophisticated, and a beautiful color, and I wish it were in my closet right now. Maybe Santa will drop it there while he's running around picking up everyone's Christmas lists and checking to make sure he can fit down everyone's chimneys despite having thirds at the dessert buffet last night. Come on, Santa. Snap out of the sugar coma.

Posted by Heather at 12:33 PM in Rachel Bilson, Well Played | Permalink

High Fug Musical III

ZAC EFRON:...and THEN I said, I'm gonna wear this FISHERMAN'S CAP AND I'M GONNA LOVE IT.

VANESSA HUDGENS: I just love you, Zac. I'm going to stare adoringly at your left ear.

JOHN MAYER: Wow, this kid seems hammered.

ZAC: AND I'm gonna wear my high school uniform shirt with it! THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

VANESSA: I love how shiny you are, Zac. It's so manly to eschew blotting papers.

JOHN: This is amazing. This is so going on my blog.

ZAC: It's UNBELIEVABLE that no one seems to have nooooooooticed that I OFTEN look really OUT OF IT IN PHOTOSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. ISN'T IT?

VANESSA: Allegedly, baby. Allegedly out of it in photos.

JOHN: I have to start coming to more of these parties.  Also, this haircut was the right call on me, wasn't it? I love being right.

Posted by Jessica at 11:39 AM | Permalink

Well Played: Nazanin Boniadi

I had never heard of Nazanin Boniadi until a couple of days ago, when she started popping up all over the place. I guess she used to be (is still?) on General Hospital, and now she's in Charlie Wilson's War (please don't get me started on the ads running for that right now, as they seem to solely feature Julia Roberts doing that big honking guffaw that was really charming in Pretty Woman and totally annoying now). My bet is she has a new PR team pushing her. But whatever. My point is, she is REALLY PRETTY.

I just love that. It's so holiday-appropriate and festive and flattering and slightly unusual, and I want it. I mean, she's getting a lot of help from the fact that there's something about her that reminds me vaguely of Thandie Newton, but in addition to being all over this dress, I'd like to give the girl a hand for upgrading from this, nearly a year ago:

Yes, that top IS entirely sheer, why do you ask?

Thanks for putting away the nips, Nazanin. You made the right call.

Posted by Jessica at 10:13 AM | Permalink

Random Fug

Being as she was born in 1988, Tamsin Egerton missed black mesh armwarmers the first time around. So I suppose I could give her a pass for resurrecting them, figuring she didn't necessarily know better.

Unfortunately, by virtue of the fact that they are black mesh armwarmers, she automatically should have known better. Her foremothers did yeoman's work in allowing themselves to be documented in things like that, so that future generations would live a wiser life. So unless Tamsin has been diagnosed with a near-fatal case of olecranondular hyposanguination -- the medical-sounding name I made up for what history will call Really Freaking Cold Elbow Syndrome -- then there is no Get Out Of Jail Free card available here. Indeed, this might be the photo equivalent of landing on Boardwalk with a hotel on it.

Well, maybe not Boardwalk. But at LEAST Marvin Gardens, which was always my favorite property name in that otherwise horrible, evil game that I cannot ever win. When Ridley Scott makes his movie of Monopoly -- if the apocalypse does not first arrive via a swarm of giant silver top hats -- I somehow envision Jim Carrey playing Marvin Gardens as a slightly filthier Ace Ventura who owns a combination saloon and flower shop.

Posted by Heather at 09:02 AM in Random Fug | Permalink

December 12, 2007

P.S. I Fug You

I have really varying reactions to the ads for P.S I Love You, Hilary Swank's new rom-com, in which she -- I believe -- has to find looooove after her husband kicks it. (That's not a spoiler, it's in the preview.) Anyway, recent ads seem to have omitted the whole Husband Kicks It thing -- too much of a bummer for the holidays? -- making it look like a kind of bubbly half-assed Sex and the City thing, and I hate it when they do that. Don't make an ad for the movie you think people are going to want to see. Make an ad for the movie you actually made. Anyway, the movie looks kind of entertaining, possibly, and all the boys in it are cute, which is a plus. But it could also turn out to be just excruciating, of course. It could go either way.

As could Hilary's dress at the premiere:

It sure is ruffly...or feather-y....or furry? I can't quite tell what died to get belted to the front of her dress here.  And while I've heard rumblings from the peanut gallery that this thing is TERRRIBLE (the peanut gallery being my UPS guy), I don't know. There's something about it that I find kind of charming and John Singer Sargent-y, and I love the belt.

Your turn:

Posted by Jessica at 02:00 PM | Permalink

Fugprah Winfrey

Presumably, as they say, this is not Oprah's first rodeo.


[Photo: Splash News]

Nor is it an ACTUAL rodeo. So she might want to consider putting that 10-pound skirt and 20-pound bling shirt back in the "Annie Oakley" box for when someone makes Annie Get Your Glitter Gun, about our favorite plucky cowgirl being forced to head up her prom committee.

Posted by Heather at 01:13 PM | Permalink

Fug the Cover: Mischa Barton

It seems like as soon as I asked the internet about the whereabouts of Mischa Barton, she appeared all over the place and on the cover of everything. Like Citizen K, which, as far as I can tell, is a Spanish magazine (I brilliantly deduced that from the words  "Espana" on the cover) covering fashion and entertainment and the like:

Sadly, it seems as though she's been using her downtime to do something unspeakable to Oscar the Grouch, not even giving him the honor of being an entire coat, but simply making him into sleeves.  As a huge fan of the seminal tune "I Love Trash," -- truly, it's neck and neck with "Rubber Ducky" as the best Sesame Street song ever, in my opinion, with honorable mention going to "C Is For Cookie," which I hear has been replaced by "Cookies Are A Sometimes Food," which, I sorry, is bullshit, because cookies are an ALWAYS food, they're just not a MASS QUANTITIES food. Why you gotta play me like this, Sesame Street? - I must protest this terrible injustice. I wonder if PETA has a Muppet Division?

Things are just as bad, in a wholly different way, inside the magazine:

I'm going to come out and admit that I hate these kinds of photo shoots. I know that expression is supposed to be all, "ooooh, I am sooooo sexy.Come over here and ravish me," but it often reads as, "ooh, I really shouldn't have had that last taco." Which is....maybe not what you want splashed all over the pages of your glossy magazine, you know?

Posted by Jessica at 12:38 PM in Mischa Barton | Permalink

Fugletta Washington

I know the holidays are a confusing time, when we're all telling ourself lies about how we're going to eat less sugar this time around and not splurge as much on gifts, and then all of a sudden we're sitting on the couch watching Blackadder's Christmas Carol while shoving mince pies into our faces with tape stuck to our legs because we're wrapping a a neverending pile of presents. It's a roller-coaster. But that's no excuse for this:

I mean, I shouldn't HAVE to point out that "tree skirt" actually DOES mean "skirt for the base of your tree." And yet I could swear I saw one in this exact style on sale at Target the other day. I suppose it's a bit of Project Runway-style creativity to cross-breed one of them with a ski jacket, but in all, I am reasonably certain I could stick Pauletta under my tree and cover her in presents and no one would know the difference.

Posted by Heather at 11:33 AM | Permalink

Daniel Fug Lewis


[Photo: Splash News]

REBECCA MILLER: I didn't do it.

DANIEL DAY LEWIS: You know who I love? Sherlock Holmes.

REBECCA: I cannot stress enough that I did not do it.

DANIEL: I also sometimes like to look like upholstered furniture from the 70s.

REBECCA: And since I don't have a giant ottoman fetish, or a fetish for giant ottomans, it should be clear to you by now that I was in no way involved with this. PLEASE BELIEVE ME.

DANIEL: And Rebecca LOVES this suit.

REBECCA: My soul is so tired.

Posted by Heather at 10:30 AM | Permalink

December 11, 2007

Fuglias

I actually like Rachel Nichols's dress here. It's kind of cute and festive, like the dress version of a non-denominational holiday wine gift bag:

But wait! What's going on with her headsuit?

Well, that's a new development on her, she used to be blonde. And, on one hand, I love a ginger (and I love Ginger). On the other hand, with the red red hair and the green green top, it's all a bit It's Starting To Look A Lot Like Christmas to me, and if there's anything I hate, it's Theme Hair.

Posted by Jessica at 12:38 PM | Permalink

 

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