December 18, 2007
In searching for information on actress Menna Shalabi, I accidentally stumbled through the looking glass: There is no Wikipedia page for her. How can that be? How is it that there is no self-proclaimed expert on all things Menna Shalabi -- not even Menna Shalabi herself -- who has devoted a free online page to the details of her career and salacious rumors about her personal life, or her pets, or the mysteries of her shoe size? All you get if you Google her is an unsatisfactory IMDb page, a comment on a blog entry that deems her "vulgar," and YouTube footage that indicates that she might once have been in some kind of car accident. Such is my life that when Wikipedia draws a blank, so do I; ergo, I have no choice but to infer from those fuzzy snippets that Menna is an actress who is passionately committed to swearing and has poor vehicular karma. And whose name anagrams either to A Blase Ham Inn -- which sounds unappealing, as there is nothing more disheartening than a bed-and-breakfast that is not fully enthusiastic about ham -- and Inane Lab Sham, which implies she might be prone to skulking around hospitals to pull DNA test switcheroos.
None of which has anything to do with what she was wearing. I just needed to share my frustration. Thank you, readers, for being a friend. But let's get to the point now, which is this:
Truthfully, I'm not sure how you're SUPPOSED to wear a dress with a sheer front. It's a bit like debating how high to pull up your legwarmers, or whether you should wear a turtleneck with the barrel you have poked your legs through -- is there REALLY a RIGHT way to do it? Indeed, having decided that a nude boobular contraption would blend right into nude gauze and fade away from sight, Menna appears to have strapped herself into a serious Bad Idea Bustier on this occasion. On the plus side: If Project Runway ever again asks someone to recontextualize the mighty shoulder pad, this makes for an amusing blueprint. Sure, it'll end up on a Mannequin of Shame, but it'd be worth it just to see Tim Gunn's brow furrow as he scrapes together the last vestiges of tact in his arsenal.