January 15, 2008
Every Boy And Every Girl, Fug Up Your Life
SPORTY: Don't you love my bangs?
GINGER: Don't you love how I sort of look like I'm taking my aging tips from Madonna, with the yoga and the muscles and the wavy hair?
BABY: Don't you love daydreaming? Like, say, about a time you can take off a huge wrap that makes you look boxy?
SOLDIER DUDE: Hi, Mom! Can you see me? HI!
SCARY: Don't you love going to the hairdresser to get a piece of Mel's bangs action, and coming away looking older and like a flight attendant on a really cheap airline? Take your unapproved electronic devices and shove them up your arses, mmmkay? Buh-bye.
BABY: Don't you miss Posh?
SPORTY: Where IS Posh?
SCARY: Dunno -- who's the really reedy gay dude down the end, though? Maybe he's her stand-in?
GINGER: He has BOOBS, though. I think I recognize those, actually.
BABY: I thought that was Angelina Jolie!
SPORTY: I thought it was a really big Chuck Norris fan!
SOLDIER DUDE: I thought it was Becks!
POSH: Don't you people just love androgyny? It's so hot right now. Well, it is when you get your rack out. That's what Roberto said: "Are you a man? Are you a woman? Are you everything? I need to see more of your breasts."
GINGER: Bollocks, now NOBODY will be looking at me. This is awful.
SCARY: Well, I've got a hot tip on where the emergency exits are, if anyone wants the demonstration.