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January 02, 2008


After a week of bathing in spiked egg nog and wondering why someone as hot as Robin Wright Penn stuck with gloomy-guts and reported asshat Sean Penn so long in the first place, it feels good to be back again in the warmth of GFY HQ. In honor of our return to action -- and the fact that real celebrities aren't doing much besides vacationing or fretting about whether they need a Golden Globes outfit or not -- I'm launching us into 2008 with a callback to the hideous trouser-beasts we linked to in our farewell post. Unfortunately, the link is now broken, so you'll have to take our word for it if you never got around to ogling them for yourselves.

I don't think they're the same in reality (for one thing, these might be actual pants rather than leggings), but in spirit -- evil, malicious, Monistat-baiting spirit -- they are as one:

It's a real testament to the pants that I'm not even commenting on the bustier. Well, that's also a testament to the fact that Ice-T's wife, CoCo, is so often to be seen gallivanting around town with her boobs hanging out -- and in fact looking somewhat like Anna Nicole Smith's doppelganger -- that COCO'S CUPS RUNNETH OVER; ELASTIC STRAP LAUDED AS WORLD'S MOST COURAGEOUS MATERIAL is hardly a noteworthy headline. But the pants... the PANTS. Will no one think of the children? Or the labia? Or the horror other pants might experience when they realize they share sartorial DNA with those monstrous mutants? Even Ice-T back there seems to be all, "Listen, lens monkeys -- step off. I TOLD her not to wear them, told her she'd be BEGGING me to cut them off her with a cocktail toothpick after ten minutes of that kind of chafing, but she did it anyway and she's HERE and we're stuck so PLEASE don't encourage her to contort her body in any other ways, or else there won't be a salve in the world to fix the blisters. Also, get me a Jack and Coke."

Yes indeed, Happy Fug Year, one and all.

Posted by Heather at 09:07 AM | Permalink


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