January 14, 2008
Golden Globes Fug Conference: Billy and Nancy
NANCY: GREETINGS EVERYONE FROM THE EXCITING GOLDEN GLOBES NEWSCAST STUDIO DESK THING! I AM NANCY O'DELL AND THE DUDE WITH THE STEEL WOOL SHRUBBERY COMING OUT OF HIS HEAD IS BILLY BUSH! HOW APPROPRIATE! HA HA HA HA HA!
BILLY: Well, now, Nancy, I think I look really sharp. Whereas your arms are different color than the rest of you by, like, a LOT.
NANCY: AT LEAST I DON'T LOOK LIKE A FULLER BRUSH SALESMAN DID MY HAIR!
BILLY: It really IS uncanny, actually, how much of a different color they are. Are you in costume as a color spectrum?
NANCY: ARE YOU IN COSTUME AS SOMETHING I CAN USE TO SCRUB MY TILE GROUT? WHEE! IT'S ALL FUN TONIGHT AT THE SUPERAWESOMEWICKEDCOOL GOLDEN GLOBES STANDING-UP PARTY AND READING OF NAMES!
BILLY: Let's stop insulting each other and do that thing we planned where we read the winner's name, and then talk about how we totally didn't think that person was going to win AT ALL, because it's going to be totally organic and real and not at all awkward when we do that. And then maybe we can totally mix up all our facts, like we don't cover this freaking industry every day of our lives or anything!
NANCY: YES LET'S FIRE UP THE FUN GUN AND SHOOT OURSELVES WITH IT BILLY!!!!! BUT FIRST I NEED TO CLEAN MY FINGERNAILS ON YOUR HAIR.
BILLY: Oh, Nancy, you are fierce. Give Willy Wonka my best.