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January 29, 2008

Fug or Fab: Kylie Minogue

Okay, so a lot of you were divided on whether Kylie looked great or ghastly -- we do love our alliteration here at GFY HQ -- in the purple outfit from last week. Since our polling function was down that day, I'm making it up to you with this little number; I'm curious to know whether the following will be just as divisive, or whether we will all soon be hugging each other and sobbing about how that gulf between us was simply too painful to endure.

[Photos: Splash News]

On the pro list: It fits her. The shoes are good, as are her shoulders. Her waist is tiny. She appears to have shaved her legs. Oh, and her face is mobile enough for an ear-splitting grin.

Cons: Its fabric resembles nothing so much as the upholstery on the patio deckchairs at the Scotsdale Golden-Age Retirement Villas and Shuffleboard Training Facility.

Oh, and there's one more.

Although this WAS once an award-winning bum, so perhaps the taffeta tourniquet was just somebody's way of deeming Kylie's backside Best In Show.

Posted by Heather at 10:31 AM in Fug or Fab | Permalink

Fug Ling

[Photos: Splash News]

Oh, Bai. Don't be so bashful.

See? I know it's a muddle when camera-shy Personality No. 10, the Haley's Comet of your psyche, makes her one appearance every eon right in the middle of No. 2's achingly sensitive tribute to Shania Twain. But one of the other ones always eventually emerges the victor. Plus, let's face it, No. 10 is still a chip off the old Bai -- there's no way she doesn't secretly enjoy strutting around like a giant embodiment of the fingerless gloves I wore in fourth grade for Halloween. I was Madonna; too bad I threw them out three years later, or else someday I could've gone as you.

Posted by Heather at 09:13 AM in Bai Ling | Permalink

January 28, 2008

SAG Awards Fug Carpet: Sandra Oh

I'm not sure what's up with turning your boobs into a befuddling curiosity. It's not as if most people don't find a lady's bustline interesting in and of itself -- no, now it needs a gimmick. First Kate Hudson glides down the SAG carpet looking like a pigeon has flown headfirst into her sternum, and now Sandra Oh is joining the fray:

Actually, I just noticed that the black fabric has splotches on it that almost look like very organized raindrops, so staring at those is a diversion in and of itself that is terrible for my brow furrow. Mostly, though, I find the massive bow growing out of her chest sort of confusing. As if all this time, we never realized that all those gigantic ribbons people stick on their brand-new Lexus-- the one they secretly bought their partner for Christmas, drove home under apparent cover of deep night, and parked in the driveway, all totally unbeknownst to their unsuspicious and probably a tad unobservant spouse/parent/significant other -- are actually manufactured straight from Sandra Oh's mammaries. Once it's done you just clip it off and another one starts to form in its place. Kind of creepy from an anatomical point of view, but as performance art, it's a pretty impressive side gig.

** Okay, so this is what we get for being in midair during the SAGs, and cross-eyed with jet-lag today -- apparently Sandra is paying homage to traditional Korean garb called a hanbok. So I will resist the urge to strap her to a brand-new vehicle and gift it to someone by burying the keys in a pile of pancakes, and instead applaud her for getting in touch with her heritage while apologizing for the fact that I am out of touch with my non-pop-culture references. Next thing you know someone will show up in a bodice shaped like Eiffel Tower and I'll be all, "Hey, look, it's that casino in Las Vegas!" And then Jessica will have to behead me. It'll be so tragic.

Posted by Heather at 02:29 PM in Misc. Awards Shows | Permalink

SAG Awards Fug Or Fab: Kate Hudson

The first thing that strikes me about this photo is how much Kate Hudson looks like her mother:

The second thing is how pale and wan and unenthusiastic she looks. The third thing is that I feel like she wears this sort of dress ALL THE TIME. There is certainly something to be said for wearing a style of clothes that works for you -- which is why I wear so many turbans -- but there is MORE to be said for wearing something that doesn't prompt the reaction, "is this picture from like six years ago?"

Posted by Jessica at 01:30 PM in Fug or Fab, Misc. Awards Shows | Permalink

SAG Awards Fug Carpet: Angelina Jolie

Whether or not Angelina Jolie is actually pregnant, she sure knows how to make sure the rumors are swirling like the chocolate-vanilla soft-serve cone she might be dipping pickles and cheese into:

And Brad knows how to feed into rumors that he is in need of a three-day nap. But Angelina... I have to say, she really can wear almost anything and look fantastic. I still find myself wishing it were, say, blood red -- you know, since she doesn't have to worry about it being too matchy with her vial of Type AB or whatever --  but on the whole you could pleat a Hefty bag and Angelina would work it. Of course, if she's NOT pregnant, then this choice is a little more confusing. Surely she is be-fetused, though, right? It's Angie. She's not going to veer off the freeway at the Caftan City exit, past the Cheesecake Factory at the Rue McClanahan Rest Stop and Service Plaza, unless she's playing coy with the contents of her womb.

Posted by Heather at 12:40 PM in Misc. Awards Shows | Permalink

The SAG Awards Fug Carpet: Jane Krakowski

There's a lot I could say about Jane Krakowksi's unfortunate craft-fair bodice:

But the fact that our image provider has her uniformly labeled as "Marla Maples" kind of says it all, no?

Posted by Jessica at 12:08 PM in Misc. Awards Shows | Permalink

Extenuating Fugcumstances

Take a moment, dear readers, and behold our delicious intern, George:

Is he not suave? Do you not wish to bathe in his manly aura? Don't you have several inappropriate and double entendre-laced questions to pose?  That's a good thing, as extenuating circumstances have conspired -- both circumstantially and extenuatingly -- to prevent us from posting until a bit later today. Please hold tight as we sharpen our claws and whip things into shape, and please check back later for SAG-y deliciousness. Thank you. Have we mentioned you look fantastic today?

Posted by Jessica at 09:33 AM | Permalink

January 25, 2008

The Year of Getting to Know Fug

You'd think the worst thing about Sharon Stone's new look was her "I did this by myself with my nail clippers at four in the morning after six Harvey Wallbangers and a cup of gravy!" haircut, wouldn't you?

But that's only because you haven't seen the rest of it:

Sharon, Sharon, Sharon. You're supposed to be ADVISING Lindsay Lohan, not taking fashion tips from her.

Posted by Jessica at 01:28 PM in Sharon Stone | Permalink

Mixed Fugs

I once went to a focus group screening of the film in which Rita Wilson got her one leading role: the Steve Martin/Adam Sandler/Parker Posey/Jon Stewart/Nora Ephron stinker Mixed Nuts. I clearly recall waiting to get into the movie and one of the studio flunkies dramatically yanking the guy in front of me out of line and tossing him out of the screening. "YOU'RE A FILM STUDENT," the flunky screamed (the news that they didn't want film students in the screening in addition to the usual banning of journalists and whatnot was a bad sign). "HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?" the student screamed back. "YOU'RE WEARING AN ERASERHEAD TEE SHIRT!" the flunky spat. And the student had to admit defeat in the face of this stunning evidence and slunk away.

The movie WAS bad, although I seem to recall that Rita wasn't terrible. She may, however, want to make like that student and skulk off in the face of this photo, though:

On its own, each of these pieces is not that terrible -- well, the sweater is very reminiscent of something you'd see on an overly invested floor manager at Talbots, the one who is only half-joking about fire-bombing the Chico's across the food court -- but as a whole, she rather looks as though she just fell, fully-formed, out of the mid-nineties, where she is just months away from deciding to bin her beret in order to staunch all the Monica Lewinsky jokes she's been hearing. But cheer up, 90s Rita. You're about to get a big part in a Steve Martin movie!

Posted by Jessica at 12:13 PM | Permalink


We're not sure how the folks behind the Razzies do it, but somehow, they manage to distill a whole year of Hollywood hackery into just a few nominees for its awards celebrating the very worst in film. And since the one thing we haven't missed about this somewhat aborted awards season is the industry's aura of self-congratulation, we couldn't help but weigh in as to who we think will walk away with what is arguably the statuette in this town most richly deserved by its winner than any other. 

Worst Supporting Actor Nominees: Orlando Bloom, Kevin James, Eddie Murphy, Rob Schneider, Jon Voight.

Not to ruin his moment, but we dispute Orlando's inclusion: He looked smoking hot in Yet More Pirates of the Caribbean, and that's truly the most supportive an actor can be. Chuck & Larry's problems go way beyond poor Kevin James, and, let's face it, there's no way Rob Schneider was any worse in that than he is in anything else. That leaves Jon Voight in Bratz (oy) and Eddie Murphy as Mr. Wong in Norbit, another of those parts he hogs because he's a whore for latex makeup. But it's Voight's Razzie to lose, if only because seeing his name next to the word "bratz" makes us want to crawl back into the womb.

If you're in the mood to see what we make of the other acting nominees, click here to read the rest of the piece.

Posted by Heather at 11:23 AM in NYFug.com | Permalink


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