February 29, 2008
Fug Quiz: Busey or Nolte?
Many moons ago, back when Britney washed her hair and we didn't know what a Kim Kardashian was, we amused ourselves with a little game called "Busey or Nolte?" It involved distinguishing between Gary Busey and Nick Nolte in photographs -- which wasn't always that hard, but certainly used to be much tougher. Time and plastic surgery have torn them apart like Shakespearian lovers. Also, I'm pretty sure the game is up forever because there is no way Nick Nolte is going to berate Ryan Seacrest at the Oscars and then try and chug a pint of Jennifer Garner's blood.
But the spirit of celebrity doppelgangers remains, born for us in them but living on in others. Today, we're honoring its manifestation in two slouchy, sloppy blondes with crappy taste in men. I present: Miller or Moss?
Waif-watchers in the UK know that Kate Moss and Sienna Miller inhabit a similar style, which some might suggest -- and have suggested -- Sienna cribbed off the Queen of Heroin-Chic. Why anyone would WANT to do that is beyond me, but honestly, I'm okay with living in a world where I don't understand what's going through Sienna Miller's head. I don't need to be haunted with dreams in which I am ENJOYING Rhys Ifans dancing naked in my living room with a shoebox on his head, or whatever it is that he does when they're together.
If you are stumped on whether that's Bedhead 2.0 or Original Flavor, this might help -- as it happens, both Miller AND Moss were in attendance at this party, and here they are pictured together:
Does that help? Which one do you imagine would shove her hands in the pockets of her wrinkled shorts and appraise the other with a smirk on her face, while the other laughs it off and tries to pretend they're The Best Of Friends and that it's just a COINCIDENCE that they have the same hair and highlights?
Aha, yes, you got it: Sienna on the left, Kate on the right. And hairdresser James Brown in the middle, but that doesn't matter, because he's probably way too well-adjusted and hygienic to belong to either woman.
This does at least answer my question about whether Kate and her clone coming into contact would somehow rip a wormhole into the fabric of the universe. So far I think we're safe, and a swarm of locusts is not about to alight on The Ivy, although I'm withholding judgment on whether anything is awry until Sienna's next movie comes out. Whatever it is, if anyone actually likes it, we might be through the looking glass.