Fatal Fugtraction

Glenn Close is great. It pains me to have a beef with her, yet here I am, throwing a 32-ounce porterhouse at her.

I am FINE with women in suits, and indeed unless they're on backwards (hi, Celine Dion!), often think they look chic. But something about this reminds me way too much of every dance I ever went to in college. Throw in a collared shirt and a red tie, and I'm right back in the dorm watching a girl lean back her head, get the ingredients for a red shot poured into her mouth, then sputter and sit up too soon, spilling crimson down the front of her white dress. Glenn deserves something a bit more stylish, or properly tailored, or graceful -- something befitting her talent, rather than the smart-casual wear yanked out of the closet and ironed twice a year by some dude in Dillon Hall who goes by Spoons.