Fug Madness 2008: Day 1 Results

If you're just arriving here and have no idea what we're up to with this Fug Madness thing, click here and here for the information.

On the first day of Fug Madness, a No. 16 seed achieved something that it has never done in the entire history of the NCAA basketball tournament: knocked off a No. 1 seed. We can only IMAGINE the screeching Dick Vitale would have gotten up to, had this match been televised. Who would have thought that Lindsay Morgan Lohan, star of actual movies that were released in recent memory, would lose to Courtney Peldon? Admittedly, Courtney Peldon spent 2003-2006 wearing the most insane things she could find at Angry Bob's Discount Wrestling Superstore, but Lindsay Lohan spent, like, YESTERDAY and 100 days prior wearing leggings and thinking she looks super in them -- AND most certainly has the resources to improve her overall appearance. (We think.)

But that's the beauty of the tournament -- some days, the little guy just plays better, no matter what the pundits predict. Congratulations to Courtney for winning a fight that was tied at 50 percent apiece in the morning and almost equally neck-and-neck down the stretch. She should print that out and tack it to the bulletin board in her bedroom.

Thanks to everyone for keeping the comments section fun, wise and witty so far -- and remember, in fug as in life, your vote counts -- so drop by today's Cher, Bjork, Charo, and Madonna matchups if you haven't already.

After the jump, the official Day 1 scores and the list of Round Two matchups that will take place on Monday.   

(9) PAULA ABDUL vs. (16) COURTNEY PELDON

Taking one for the older set, Paula knocked off the tragically blonded-up Nelly Furtado, 58 percent to 41 percent. Courtney's final margin of victory over Lindsay was 51 percent to 48 percent (when the numbers don't add up to 100, we suspect it's because the polling software rounds the numbers up or down in a weird way; we're not saying we love it, just that we can't do anything about it -- much like our grudging acceptance of Rihanna's recent hair).

(4) RIHANNA vs. (5) FERGIE

Fergie thumped Brad Pitt by collecting a whopping 91 percent of your votes, showing that even if he's gone a bit Grandpa Joe on us lately in the clothing department, he's still not outfugging a woman who once wore braids down past her knees. And thank God for that, really. For her part, Rihanna handily beat down Sandra Oh's challenge by 72 percent to 27 percent.

(2) JENNIFER LOPEZ vs. (10) LUCY LIU

Our girl Jenny beheaded Natalie Portman with 91 percent of the vote, while Lucy's sleeves smothered Jennifer Connelly's attempts at fug notoriety, upsetting the No. 7 seed by a margin of 58 percent to 41 percent.

(3) HELENA BONHAM CARTER vs. (6) BEYONCE

These two won their games by almost the same margin: HBC swept past Kelly Osbourne with firm support from 63 percent of voters, while Beyonce inspired 68 percent of you to vote her and her hot pants past Kylie Minogue and her world-famous bum.

(7) RENEE ZELLWEGER vs. (15) BRITTANY MURPHY

Hair DOES count, it turns out, and Renee's dastardly coif snagged 79 percent of the vote in defeating Katie Holmes, a.k.a. the most current completion of Tom Cruise. Renee will take on a surprisingly victorious Brittany Murphy, who despite very few actual documented offenses, beat down misguided style icon Gwen Stefani by54 percent to 45 percent -- Gwen slowly snuck back from an initial 30-point deficit but couldn't close the whole gap. Better luck next year, Stefani.

(3) PARIS HILTON vs. (11) KIMBERLY STEWART

How poetic! After brushing past pal Elisha Cuthbert by 83 percent to 16 percent, Paris will next grapple with her ex-BFF Kimberly. Ms. Stewart was one of the underdogs we felt was primed for an upset, seeded low due to her very low-level celebrity status but rife with a rich fugly history. She handily disposed of Ali Larter by capturing 85 percent of the vote.

(1) CHLOE SEVIGNY vs. (9) MARY-KATE OLSEN

Sanity prevails! The shaggy antics of Cameron Diaz were no match for Chloe Sevigny, who got 92 percent of the vote in her cruise to victory. She'll face off against M-K, who surprisingly railroaded past Diane Kruger's oddball wardrobe by a margin of 79 percent to 20 percent. Admittedly we suspected she'd snag the win; we just took Diane for a sturdier contender.

(5) ALICIA KEYS vs. (13) PHOEBE PRICE

Poor old Jessica Simpson couldn't even come out ahead in a battle against the world's craziest redhead -- and yes, that includes Carrot Top AND Dr. Kimberly Shaw. J.Simp managed a mere 31 percent of the popular vote, pushing Phoebe into the next round against jumpsuit-lover Alicia. With 74 percent of you fully fugged out by her clothes, Alicia proved too much for poor Eva Longoria to handle.