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March 25, 2008
Fug Madness 2008: Bjork, Round Two, Continued
(1) MISCHA BARTON vs. (9) KEVIN FEDERLINE
Call us crazy, but it almost seems like the two of these could potentially start dating. Can't you just see it? 2008 K-Fed feels like exactly the kind of quasi-rocker that Misha would go for. Though whether or not he'd be into Princess Floaty Tunic here is hard to say:
Oh, Mischa. That would be so cute for your high school drama club's production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, but in the outside world, it just seems likely to get caught in your car door and cut off the circulation to your neck, kind of like what this seems to have done to your ribs. On the other hand, at least you're not wearing THIS anymore. Or dating him, btw. In fact, one could argue this fine man is a total upgrade from Old Firecrotch-Hater Davis (who, we must remind you, sat next to one of us at the movies once and smelled so bad we had to breathe through our mouth. Also, he kept lifting up his hoodie to grab and inspect his belly fat. Also, he consumed: a bag of popcorn, a bag of chips, a bag of Skittles, a carton of Dibs, a Coke, a Slurpee and a lemonade. We just need to continue to tell people that story, that's all):
We once deeply hated K-Fed. But while he certainly has problems -- like pulling this sort of thing or insisting going out in very poorly fitting pants while poor Britney just wanted to look cute -- at least he brought us all the delight of Popozao, right? RIGHT?
(12) SPEIDI vs. (13) EVA GREEN
Judging from the comments on the last round, there are many, many people who Blame Spencer for any number of things, to the point where we might be making a shirt declaring such a thing. Can we blame him for Heidi's new lips and new faker hair, as seen here?
Also, have you ever seen two such fake laughs in your life? Maybe at this classy Taco Bell-related charity event, at which gaiety was totally appropriate. And yet I can't stop watching The Hills and as much as I want Spencer to have his COMEUPPANCE, I am pretty sure the show would be much more boring without him and his machinations.
However, maybe if he has to leave the show so that Heidi can become "a feminist hero" (the New York Times said so; it must be true) Eva Green can sweep in and start bossing Lauren around:
You know she and her Zombie Eye-Makeup of Doom could kick some satisfying ass (speaking of heroes). Also, maybe she could finally teach LC a thing or two about high fashion. CRAZY high fashion.
Posted by H & J at 10:00 AM in Fug Madness | Permalink
Comments
Eh, at least Eva's creative?
Posted by: Z | Mar 25, 2008 10:03:32 AM
I kinda sorta loathe "Speidi" so, so very much. They can't dress, and everything about them is fake, from their relationship to their "candid" shots. So yes. Bad fashion, Heidi.
K-Fed...He usuaully wears suits or "urban"-ish outfits. He just looks like he shops from the clearance racks of TJ Maxx or Burlington Coat Factory. Which isn't BAD (I shop there myself, but I buy the nice shirts and jeans that FIT me, not the XXXXL to my Medium, etc...), but he could do better. Mischa Barton won my vote though. She's...a mess. She's very pretty, but she can't dress herself. She just grabs whatever through a drunken hungover haze, and runs out the door, I do believe. Perhaps she shops the same way?
Posted by: Grant | Mar 25, 2008 10:06:06 AM
i'm not too hot on this round; mischa is the saving grace of fug here, so she definitely gets the vote.
now k-fed v. speidi would've been a great match up. maybe next year :)
Posted by: km | Mar 25, 2008 10:10:22 AM
go team eva green. speidi is so PREDICTABLE in its fugly. there's no surprise or art to it. eva green is interesting and fugly. she's avant garde fug. i want to reward her for her talent. speidi is fug in a way that every deluded ugg wearing teen in orange county is fug. it's not special enough.
Posted by: sophia | Mar 25, 2008 10:10:28 AM
You can't take the Fug just because of some fake boobs, fake lips, fake hair, fake teeth...you get the point but still. She is as normal as every other dumb blonde on Laguna Beach or Beverly Hills or wherever she is from.
Posted by: Mel | Mar 25, 2008 10:10:40 AM
Eva is a gothic goddess and certainly rocks the lace and eye makeup better than HBC! Tori 2.0 is not even in the same competition, let alone league.
This is the woman who brought sexy back, a genuine artist and the only woman in Hollywood who looks amazing without looking over styled/plastic!
Posted by: Meow! | Mar 25, 2008 10:11:11 AM
Barton over Federline: I had to FLIP A COIN for this one. How can you expect us to choose? How? I'm going to be a dithering mess all day. Perhaps, if K-Fed loses, you could bring him into the announcers' booth with Intern George to do play-by-play. A consolation prize, as it were.
Green over Speidi: I have no idea who "Speidi" are. I do know who Eva Green is, and all I can say is that rarely has so little been done with so much. She's stunning. She has no excuse.
Posted by: Kate | Mar 25, 2008 10:12:20 AM
God, those two. I get so irritated with their wholesale tackiness that I kinda hope Paris Hilton's plane will crash right into them.
Posted by: KHS | Mar 25, 2008 10:12:56 AM
I meant to say "brought sexy back to brunettes".
I knew I should have previewed before posting, lol.
Posted by: Meow! | Mar 25, 2008 10:13:14 AM
I keep hoping that Speidi is just a figment of my imagination, an acid trip induced by watching too many "Hill Recaps". But I do agree on the need for their evil/douchebagness in the show. NOW.. there is no need to change yourself into Silicone Barbie.. and I am sorry, I cannot hold Spencer responsible.. if one where truly that "femenist hero" well one could learn to accept their body "as is". At least Eva's fugness is not driven by insecurity or a need to fit in. She just plain crazy and loving it... Good for you Crazy Eye Makeup Eva.. there is your real femenist hero.
Posted by: Cherry | Mar 25, 2008 10:14:35 AM
At least Eva is French so she can try pulling the whole "it's chic and you just don't know it b/c you're not French" bit...remind me again why Speidi are famous? I mean aside from always looking like a hot mess....they really have the Desperate Hollywood look DOWN!
And as for Mischa....Mischa, Mischa, Mischa...you're up against a guy who really DOES think he's a rap artist and is living the 'thug life.' We EXPECT him to look like an ass clown. You on the other hand....well, you just look like:
a). you're trying to hard to be a hot young Hollywood starlet, or
b). you allow your stylist to drink heavily before dressing you.
Either way, you have no excuse.
Posted by: Laura | Mar 25, 2008 10:14:57 AM
Sometimes it looks a little out there, but at least Mischa has a sense of uniqueness and individuality. K-Fed is just a Vanilla Ice 2.0 mess. The fug is with him, hands down.
Posted by: Zeus | Mar 25, 2008 10:15:22 AM
I'm having a hard time with K-Fed and Mischa. I think she's probably got more the spirit of Fug, but socks and flip flops! It cannot be repeated enough. And, speaking of belly fat, have you seen K Fed lately? http://www.usmagazine.com/from_hunk_to_chunk_030508?slideshow_id=594&o=11. (Side note: "from hunk to chunk?" WHEN was he a hunk?)
Speidi get the vote for me, because Heidi's Joan Rivers meets Tammy Faye Baker look is the definition of fug. Last night on the hills, she was definitely wearing the same shade of Wet 'n Wild lip gloss I wore in 6th grade.
Posted by: Kristin | Mar 25, 2008 10:17:16 AM
I voted for Speidi, but mainly because I like Eva Green's brand of crazy. Sometimes it comes off stunningly and othertimes she misses, but she takes the leap and actually wears in public what some of these designers create for the runway. I can't fault her for that.
Posted by: nichole | Mar 25, 2008 10:17:50 AM
Oh, I detest everything about Spencer and Heidi, so I vote for them as the fugliest of the fug. They are a new category of fug, because as individuals they are merely fugly but together, they become something much bigger than fug. Their whole relationship and everything they do, say, is fug to the max. Down with speidi!
Posted by: Beth | Mar 25, 2008 10:18:40 AM
Speidi does not deserve anymore of our attention. We can make them go away by ignoring them - vote for Eva!
Posted by: jenn | Mar 25, 2008 10:18:54 AM
such a pity about heidi, my friend was obsessed with the hills and at least i could take comfort in the fact that the main troll's best friend was really pretty, thats an excuse for a show, right? but she had to muck it all up, and unneeded bad plastic surgery is certainly a major fug up
Posted by: laurella | Mar 25, 2008 10:22:05 AM
K-Fed, bless his functionally illiterate little heart, has proven to be the responsible, sane parent in the maelstrom of crazy that was his marriage to Britney. I can't fug him now, I just want him to hold it together long enough to raise those boys with some semblence of sanity such that I don't have to read that Sean Preston was caught in a hotel room with a trannie and an 8-ball at the age of 11.
Besides, Mischa Barton dresses like a bag lady. Easy choice.
Posted by: Catherine | Mar 25, 2008 10:22:58 AM
These were both very close calls, especially because I have to make them in the short amount of time that my boss can't see my computer. (She sits behind me, and although she's very cool, I think that se wants me to get SOME work done.) Anyway, I had to fug Mischa, because she's photographed being fugged out more often than K-fed. It's not that the Fuggerline hasn't offended, it's just that his fug isn't as well-chronicled as Mischa's. Same goes for Speidi v. Eva. Speidi wins due to more exposure. (See what I did there? With exposure? Because Heidi's always showing off her enhanced bustline? See?)
Posted by: pia | Mar 25, 2008 10:23:14 AM
Mischa is so lost in her outfits, usually she looks like she's trying to disappear (that stoop, that embarassed look in her face,...) No style, just stylist. She takes the win over KFed. Speidi are so blah I just stopped caring.
Posted by: catherine | Mar 25, 2008 10:23:26 AM
Wow, I never really understood what "The Hills" was until I read that NYT article you linked to. How sad are these people that they've made a spin off of a spin off of a spin off of every other generic reality show of their lives? You both, oh lovely Heather & Jessica, had me thinking they were actors or something mildly worthy of my attention. But they are just wannabes or fame whores, or media whores. Lauren gets a few points because in wanting to be a clothing designer, this show could actually mover her career forward. But why she chose The Hills over something like the divine Project Runway is beyond me. Or did the fantastic Klum and Gunn team reject her sorry ass designs (evidenced by her recent line - link on this site somewhere)?
Having been an event planner myself, I have even less than the no respect I had for Heidi before, albeit mathematically impossible. So, out of total disrespect, I voted for them over KFed. At least he's supposed to be on the entertainment pages, vs. Ms. Wannabe and her lame boyfriend.
Posted by: Cara | Mar 25, 2008 10:23:34 AM
oops, make that Speidi over Eva Green - she's a tad off, but at least she's an actress and has flair.
Posted by: Cara | Mar 25, 2008 10:24:33 AM
Mischa vs. KFed was the toughest so far. I'm exhausted.
Posted by: Susanelle | Mar 25, 2008 10:25:29 AM
Speidi is fugly on the INSIDE. The worst fug of all.
Posted by: Lorraine Bates | Mar 25, 2008 10:25:51 AM
F...EMINIST HERO?!
I typed that appx six minutes ago, after which I proceeded to sit here, agog. HEIDI? WTF, Ginia? Seriously? ...oh, you went to Barnard? No wonder that's your idea of a feminist. Dumbass!
I seriously hope that's irony. If not, I blame Spencer.
Also, Heidi wayyyyy outfugs Eva Green. Eva is ridiculously good-looking, even when she tries to scare us with crazy eyes. When she's fug, she does it with class and style. Which are also my ironic nicknames for Douche and Feminist Hero up there.
Posted by: Katie | Mar 25, 2008 10:28:59 AM
I voted for K-Fug, if only because that anecdote about Firecrotch Davis was SO vile I nearly vomited on my keyboard. (I seriously do feel ill.) I don't think I'll ever be the same again.
Speidi, though I didn't vote for them the first time...I had to vote for them this time, mostly because they're just more offensive than Eva Green.
Posted by: Chris | Mar 25, 2008 10:31:06 AM
How many women can carry of Dior to such an extreme level? Only Eva it appears. She can't win the fug, not against speidi
Posted by: Juji | Mar 25, 2008 10:31:06 AM
Speidi's soul is fugly. I REALLY HOPE THEY ARE BOTH KILLED BY... well, anything, really, get them out of our lives. I've said this about Jessica Simpson, and Ashlee too at times, but guys, this time I'm serious. IF WE STOP PAYING ATTENTION TO THEM THEY WILL GO AWAY. JUST. STOP. LOOKING. Or, barring that, maybe heidi's lips will explode! did we all see the season premier last night? she's barely human...
Posted by: Maz | Mar 25, 2008 10:32:56 AM
also, I would totally buy an "I Blame Spencer" shirt
Posted by: Maz | Mar 25, 2008 10:33:52 AM
Let me make this clear--Speidi isn't even in the same realm as Eva. Eva is everything Speidi isn't--gorgeous, talented, sophisticated, sexy and just plain INTERESTING. Just compare 007 Eva's seduction of Daniel Craig to Heidi's awkward, screeching, man/jazz-hands waving music video, and Speidi obviously gets the fug.
With that said, Eva got my vote for the same reason given by previous posters. I WANT SPEIDI TO GO AWAY AND TAKE THEIR VENEERS, SPRAY TANS, AND CANTALOUPE IMPLANTS WITH THEM. For the love of God. Thank you.
Posted by: Kristin | Mar 25, 2008 10:37:13 AM
KFed's made some bad, bad choices, but at least he's trying (he's not really fooling anybody with the suits, but they're safe). You can tell Mischa is one of those girls who tries to be effortless, but she ends up looking sloppy and/or ridiculous.
Eva Green is gorgeous and talented--she doesn't need to apologize for her fashion choices. Heidi and Spencer, however, need to apologize for a lot of things.
Posted by: gw | Mar 25, 2008 10:39:03 AM
I want to be friends with Kristin.
Posted by: Maz | Mar 25, 2008 10:39:41 AM
A little OT, but god guys, could you PLEEZE change that picture of Bjork up there? It makes my eyes and my face and even my heart hurt every time I see it.
Posted by: your neighborhood librarian | Mar 25, 2008 10:39:49 AM
I am heartbroken that the raccoon-faced undead Eva Green is already getting knocked out! Is there no justice?? Maybe you are all scared of her. Look, just swing a rope of garlic over your heads and wave a crucifix in front of her if she shows up in the dead of night! See reason, I beg of you.
Posted by: maria | Mar 25, 2008 10:41:05 AM
At least Eva's not dressing for Us Weekly. I bet Speidi had to retake their pic when they learned the Red Bull can was facing away from the camera.
Posted by: Wes | Mar 25, 2008 10:41:40 AM
Oh, I adore Eva Green! Give me MOAR red carpet drama! She can carry the crazy. We still know it's insane, but it's the kind of insane you want to wear just to strut around in front of the mirror. Actually wearing it out of the house... ooh!
Speidi is fug all over, inside-out. Ew.
Posted by: Elin | Mar 25, 2008 10:43:33 AM
I care nothing for Speidi or Eva... I picked their losers :(
Posted by: mrs o | Mar 25, 2008 10:43:53 AM
K-Fed I at least understand. He's trying to be all urban and sell some "rap" records. It sorta makes sense, albeit fugly sense. Mischa and her endless stream of unkempt men-friends just look uncannily like the homeless people hanging around my ghetto neighborhood.
Everytime I see Speidi it makes me a little happier that I don't live anywhere near LA. I suspect that should I ever actually see them in person my retinas would explode.
Posted by: Kate | Mar 25, 2008 10:45:30 AM
I had to vote for KFed, just because he always looks in dire need of a shower, and Mischa did, on a couple of occasions, show up looking splendiferous in something no one else could possibly wear.
Posted by: Kristan C. | Mar 25, 2008 10:47:38 AM
The fact that people like Heidi and Spencer even exist is enough fug for a lifetime.
Posted by: Athena | Mar 25, 2008 10:47:58 AM
A few years ago, KFed would have won this round, but he's cleaned up since leaving Britney. Barton, however, has gone further down desperate hill since leaving television.
At least Eva is opting for artistic style instead of judging all clothing on how it further enhances her surgery.
Posted by: Jael | Mar 25, 2008 10:48:51 AM
I voted for Eva, soley because I don't want the cancer that is Heidi and Spencer to get any more attention, positive or negative.
Posted by: Challis | Mar 25, 2008 10:49:33 AM
I want those people to go away. They are a completely useless waste of space who are famous for a really bad "reality" show and now just WON'T GO AWAY!!!!
I refuse to vote for them on the basis that I will not in any way give them any more attention. Plus Eva Green looks like a mummy, not a zombie and mummies aren't anywhere near as cool as zombies.
Posted by: iambe | Mar 25, 2008 10:59:13 AM
Not going to vote on Speidi/Eva since I've never head about either of them. Speidi just looks totally boring and blah and sure, Eva had a few crazy dresses on but maybe that's just her, like Tilda Swinton and Cate Blanchett.
Posted by: Pebbles | Mar 25, 2008 10:59:26 AM
For me the big debate here is whether winning this thing is the ultimate prize or the ultimate punishment. I'm going for the former. Hence, I must vote for Mischa who is at least interesting in her fug, whereas KFed is sloppy and boring. If I can meet your wardrobe at the mall on a 15-year old, you are not interesting to me.
This is also why I have to vote for Eva, because even though I really don't know who Speidi is, they seem like something I want to punish by giving them less attention, not more.
Posted by: Kates | Mar 25, 2008 11:03:06 AM
1) Mischa, hands down. Kevin has cleaned up his act majorly this past year...where as Mischa deyed her hair that bleach color and got a DUI and contiued to dress fugly, only now seems unemployed
2) Ug, Eva Green and Nicole were pretty evenly matched but this is like comparing exotic apples to asshats. Spencer and Heidi really don't DRESS badly, they look appropriate for nobody's that are like 22, but they have fugly personalities. Eva just tries to be too coture and often errs on the wrong side of fasion/crazy...but since she looks like a model I usually just let it slide...I voted for Spiedi
Posted by: lambman | Mar 25, 2008 11:06:00 AM
KFed is like Flock of Seagulls, a one-time wonder.
Posted by: Susan | Mar 25, 2008 11:07:50 AM
Mischa is totally taking this bracket - no question!
Posted by: Ghanima | Mar 25, 2008 11:09:07 AM
Wow I did not expect Speidi to be that far ahead. I can't stand them (and am secretly greatly amused by them) either but damn.
Posted by: Krys | Mar 25, 2008 11:14:31 AM
I thought K. Fed vs. Mischa was going to be easier. I guess maybe when I think of Mischa, I think of her rocking that "Well Played" yellow dress and think, "Oh, that was cute," or I think of the plaid hat with the bow and I think, "Oh, that wasn't her fault." And then I think of K.Fed, and I think, "Ew, 'Rock out with your cock out' trucker hat." But then I perused the archives more. Dang, this is hard. I think Mischa almost pulls off a few of her things (and actually might have if she'd worn them with more confidence), and I give her points for taking some fashion risks. But I had completely forgotten about the plaid daiper and the giant neck ruff and the fact that she once accessorized with a very skeezy man. K.Fed's primary issue is grooming, but would you believe he actually looks better than I remember him in some of those pictures? And he has pulled it together a little. Anyway -- I see I'm not alone in considering this a tough call, even though Mischa's so far ahead. I don't feel bad about having guessed this one wrong.
Next round will be Mischa vs. Speidi. That's going to be another tough call. I had K. Fed winning that, too. Speidi could lose just because Mischa has a more comprehensive body of fug. But I'm going to bet on Speidi anyway. That taco picture? Ugh! Showing up everywhere in lingerie, the better to show off your fake boobs? Bleaugh! At least Mischa hasn't gone total generic fake-ass Hollywood on us. Speidi will lose to Paris, who has the same kind of "Fug of Spirit" going on with her narcissistic clothing line and goods-flashing, wears uglier lingerie in public than Heidi, AND has a huge body of fashion fug to boot. And if I'm wrong again and Mischa beats Speidi, she definitely won't beat Paris.
Posted by: Miss V | Mar 25, 2008 11:15:13 AM
Mischa over Federline, absolutely. He is just a moron and it takes no effort for a moron to dress insanely. And, he has lost his best accessory when he and Brit-Brit broke up.
Speidi got my vote because I detest them. They are like cholera and need to be locked in a room at that World Health Organizaton place where they lock up germs that can wipe out man-kind. Please, do this before they reproduce! They are a disease that would change weaken all of mankind. You have been warned.
Posted by: Sharon | Mar 25, 2008 11:19:04 AM
PLEASE PLEASE make sure about how Spencer is to blame for everything!
Posted by: Megan | Mar 25, 2008 11:19:16 AM
You almost sold me with this:
"Speidi is fugly on the INSIDE. The worst fug of all."
Lorraine Bates, but I had to go with Eva.
(And yes, I had to read through the comments in order to make up my mind, because these match-ups were just that difficult.)
Posted by: Jon | Mar 25, 2008 11:22:14 AM
I would totally buy an "I Blame Spencer" t-shirt, although then I'd have to cop to watching "The Hills."
Speidi way outfugs Eva Green because of their outrageously fugly behavior and famewhore-ness. Eva may look crazy, but it's a stunning, almost elegant crazy.
Posted by: AstroAnde | Mar 25, 2008 11:25:30 AM
Astroande -- You're right about Eva. I'd totally let her suck my blood.
Posted by: Miss V | Mar 25, 2008 11:36:44 AM
I was very tempted to vote for the King of the Manpris, but in the end, I had to give it to the schlumpy, dumpy, frumpy Mischa. She has no excuse to dress this way. NONE.
The mashup-Speidi just makes me despair, because they have TWO chances to get it right each time and they both fail miserably. At least Eva can usually be described as "quirky."
Posted by: Pandora | Mar 25, 2008 11:44:05 AM
I have long contemplated which one is a bigger waste of flesh and tissue between Spencer and Heidi, and to have them combine their forces of fugliness is an affront to humanity. I gave them the nod not just for their fugly choice of clothing, but for their fugly choice of fiancee as well. It's impossible to tell which one of them is getting the short end of the stick in their relationship because they're both so icky. A match made in Forever 21. With a little Botox and self-bronzer thrown in for good measure.
Posted by: DCheree | Mar 25, 2008 11:45:27 AM
Speidi makes me ill on so many levels, yet I find their poor dressing to be generically bad in a way that I would walk by them and think, "dude, what are they wearing?" whereas Eva stands out in her fugness and I would stop in my tracks, turn around and stare. Therefore Eva has to get my vote.
Posted by: Jennifer | Mar 25, 2008 11:47:28 AM
While K-Fed looks like white trash, at least he still wears clothes that make sense. That is, he doesn't like like he is eternally wearing a costume, unlike Mischa.
I despise Speidi. They are obnoxious and nasty. Eva is so much better.
Posted by: Victoria | Mar 25, 2008 12:02:50 PM
Misha v. Kfed WAS hard... in the end I had to use the time tested method of asking who would be more embarrassing to be seen with, therefore Kev wins! Misha dresses with some personality, whereas Kevin looks like 98% of the loser dudes in America.
Posted by: cb | Mar 25, 2008 12:03:44 PM
There's tackiness in attire; and then there's tackiness in behavior. Compared to the excessive tackiness in behavior we've just seen chronicled, excessive eye-makeup just doesn't cut it.
Posted by: djheydt | Mar 25, 2008 12:22:37 PM
Ah hope Spencer gets his cum-up-awwnce! Cus that's just whawt we deu!
Posted by: Jessica Rich | Mar 25, 2008 12:50:17 PM
I had to vote for K Fed. HAD TO. In my opinion he is as fugly as it gets. His rival Mischa is often guilty of overdoing those vintage-y headbands and rock band tees but at least she has her own style and occasionally manages to look good.
Plus, Speidi is just sooo fake and fugly. Heidi's plastic surgery is ridiculous and Spencer...well let's just say I think your plan to make "Blame it on Spencer" shirts is a very good idea. :)
Posted by: JILL | Mar 25, 2008 12:59:24 PM
Spiedi are Pod People. This we hold to be self-evident. I had to go with Misha Barton. K-Fed has no imagination. Imagination is the Stepmother of Fug.
Posted by: SidheDevil | Mar 25, 2008 1:03:45 PM
Um... did anyone go to the link of the K-Fed pic and re-read the letter from Britney? I'm starting to think that she might actually WRITE those... considering how eerily correct some speculation about the future was ("I'm going to fire everyone, even my mom" and "I don't look like I'm going crazy, do I?" Scary. I think the Fug Girls are psychics.
Posted by: Kelly | Mar 25, 2008 1:18:43 PM
Um... did anyone go to the link of the K-Fed pic and re-read the letter from Britney? I'm starting to think that she might actually WRITE those... considering how eerily correct some speculation about the future was ("I'm going to fire everyone, even my mom" and "I don't look like I'm going crazy, do I?" Scary. I think the Fug Girls are psychics.
Posted by: Kelly | Mar 25, 2008 1:21:56 PM
If I may be so bold, the complete waste of air that is "Speidi" should LOSE just because I don't think they are deserving of ANY kind of accolades. I fear that any type of award, whether it be for fugliness or general hideousness, will spur these two on, and if there is one thing that needs to go away, it is this whole group of talentless losers wandering around in the fringes of stardom, and ACTUALLY BELIEVING that they deserve their fame.
UGH. Vote AGAINST the disease that is Speidi.
Posted by: jj | Mar 25, 2008 1:37:19 PM
This round goes to Mischa - who will be hard to beat - though may lose out in the finals due to her lack of imagination and passion -- all others in this category are mere pretenders to the throne. As Gertrude Stein said of the American West - there is no there there - though Eva Green does get some points because she at least looks like she is having some fun.
Posted by: Ricky | Mar 25, 2008 1:58:23 PM
My complete love of Britney is my reason for choosing K-Fed. In her honour, I will now listen to "Toxic." Thank you Fug Girls...
Posted by: NickC | Mar 25, 2008 2:08:49 PM
I had to go with Eva on that one simply because I can't support the idea of Speidi winning ANYTHING, and I really just want them to go away. That and I really don't want to come across the US weekly with Heidi on the cover talking about how she stayed up all night crying because the internet called her fugly.
Posted by: beliefunwrought | Mar 25, 2008 2:09:28 PM
Again, I couldn't vote for Speidi simply because it would give them what they want, attention. I prefer to live in a world where they don't exist. Acknowledging their fug would ruin my whole vibe.
Posted by: Kate | Mar 25, 2008 2:16:19 PM
Speidi Vs. Green. I honestly couldn't point these people out of a lineup and I truly have less then no interest in them or anything about them, so I flipped a coin and voted for Speidi.
Barton Vs. K-Fed. C'mon people, ANYONE who wears a cape in this day and age needs a beatdown, yet K-Fed is LOSING?!!? Completely unacceptable. Let's keep our eyes on the ball, people. It has to be K-Fed. You know this.
Posted by: Ben | Mar 25, 2008 2:43:42 PM
Who is Eva Green?
Posted by: YankinTex | Mar 25, 2008 2:54:11 PM
Mmm, "speidi" makes me hungry...I have to go to Binghamton now.
Posted by: C-Diff | Mar 25, 2008 3:05:04 PM
Eva Green is totally fierce. (I hate to use that word, but I honestly can't think of any other to describe her). She pulls things off that shouldn't work and she just smoulders in a way that I wish she could teach me.
Posted by: Kym | Mar 25, 2008 3:05:36 PM
I can't stop reading Eva Green as evergreen... you know...like it's her "rap" name... eva'green... help me!
Posted by: beachbabe | Mar 25, 2008 3:07:56 PM
Gotta give it to Mischa. There's nothing special about KFed's fug, he's no different from all the other skinny white guys trying to be gangsta.
And I just can't care about Heidi and Spencer. They are too bland, and don't really think they deserved to be ranked in this contest at all. So it's Green for me.
Posted by: Craig | Mar 25, 2008 3:19:36 PM
Eva Green is TERRIFYING.
Holy Moley.
Posted by: IZZY | Mar 25, 2008 3:28:46 PM
I'm shocked that anyone chose KFed over Mischa Barton. That highwaisted-wanna-be-doublebreasted orange skirt is one of the absolute worst garments I have ever seen in my life! (except for everything Chloe Sevigny has ever worn).
And Mischa must have drawers full of these awful headbands she wears.... and is it just me or does she look like the scariest Little Red Riding Hood (minus the hood, but the headband makes up for that, no?)
Posted by: JC | Mar 25, 2008 3:48:02 PM
Misha vs KFed: yep tough one. But I just can't fug a past whigger over those absolutely horrible outfits of Misha's. At least KFed can clean up well and he's trying. Misha just looks like an insipid little ninny.
Eva vs those stupid blonde reality nobodies: Sorry, Eva may be weird but she's rocking it fiercely. She may well pull a goth revival and next year we'll all be doing the super smokey eye. It could happen. But the stupid blonde people? Who cares.
They don't deserve my vote for anything other than Couple I'd Most Like to Strand On a Desert Island Together To See Who Resorts to Cannibalism First. My vote's on the chick. She looks mean and sneaky. I think she'd totally tip toe up behind him while he's trying to figure out what a coconut is and brain him with a rock and eat him. Oh, he'd fight - like a girl, I think, but she'd take him in the end.
That would be so cool.
I'm voting for that instead.
Posted by: jax | Mar 25, 2008 4:58:26 PM
i had to vote for speidi. just because i hate spencer SO MUCH. and even though they look cute. sometimes.
it pains me to say that.
and if you make any sort of t-shirt declaring spencers culpability for everything wrong with the world, i will buy many.
you guys rock!
Posted by: Hill | Mar 25, 2008 5:23:48 PM
OK, fine. I admit it. Speidi IS infinitely fuglier than Eva Green. Eva Green could roll in a dung heap and throw on a burlap sack and never approach Speidi's inner and outer fug.
But I still had to vote for Eva Green because the world will be a better place if Speidi are never seen or heard from again.
Posted by: Katherine | Mar 25, 2008 5:25:41 PM
All I can say about this is - that picture of Bjork is priceless. It brings me to tears every time!
Posted by: melissa | Mar 25, 2008 5:35:28 PM
"We Blame Spencer?" t-shirt, where should I place my order?
Posted by: lady_wraith | Mar 25, 2008 5:36:01 PM
No, no, no "We Blame Spencer!!" cartainly not a question, we know he's guilty of everything he's accused of
Posted by: lady_wraith | Mar 25, 2008 5:37:22 PM
Gawd! That picture of Bjork make me laugh out loud every time I see it!
Posted by: Chris | Mar 25, 2008 5:56:10 PM
Mushy over KFederate-Mischa seems determined to wear the most ill-fitting things possible. K-Fed, I mean, I've seen plenty of regular Joes dress similar-ish and I feel like K-Fed has the confidence to pull off his fug much more than Mushy ever could. Also, as a short stumpy leg have-r, I detest Mischa for often wearing things that make her long stems somehow look stumpy. I don't get it.
Speidi over Eva- I think Eva is a sexy, sexy bitch. I was a bit of a goth girl in high school and she is just so...appealing to me. Speidi are just vile. Sure hope Heidi still feels the same way about her plastic surgery as she does now five years from now. EEEEEEESH
Posted by: Sophia Patrillo | Mar 25, 2008 6:01:10 PM
quit giving mischa the pity vote over k-fed. while he may be the lesser of two (parenting) evils in the world's biggest train wreck marriage since the union of peanut butter and marshmellows, homeslice will still never be able to dress himself in something even remotely approaching tolerable. at least mischa is orginal, in her own fug way.
Posted by: cmw | Mar 25, 2008 6:44:25 PM
I agree with Sophia up there. I think Eva is a sexy, sexy bitch too. And I think she has enough creativity to change her look eventually. But more than that, I won't like, I just hate Speidi. I just don't understand, why do they exist? Yes, beyond being on television. Why did their parents ever mate and even create these two worthless human beings. Neither one of them is worth looking at and just...okay, *breathe*
Speaking of drinking my Haterade, Cletus 'K-Fed' the Slack-jawed Fresyokel. I wonder why he exists too. He dresses like he's still trying to catch up to Vanilla Ice circa 1994, or on a 'klassy' day, Color Me Badd circa 1995. Dude. At least aim for Kanye. Yes. Even with the venetian blinds sunglasses. Mischa, you owe me one sweets.
Posted by: Elisabetta | Mar 25, 2008 6:52:34 PM
speidi...that is awesome. I can't believe k fed isn't winning!
Posted by: annette | Mar 25, 2008 6:52:37 PM
K-Fed,if only for those "Pimps" embroidered robes. COME ON!!!
If it were Fug Madness of the Soul, Speidi would have my vote. As things are, it's gotta be Eva. This does not mean I don't adore her and want to somehow steal her husky voice; I really do wish I could manage that. Also, is anyone else looking forward to seeing her become the next Helena Bonham Carter?! The makeup's there already!!
Posted by: Anastasia | Mar 25, 2008 7:00:15 PM
Speidi does not need one more press outlet to spread its virulent message of Making Your Dream Happen Even When It's Everyone Else's Nightmare (And Maybe Even YOUR Nightmare), and dollars to donuts says he starts foisting jacquard caftans and leggings and formal shorts upon his lady love when they get booted from this tournament. He'll wrap her in a bedazzled romper and DARE you to fug her, ladies.
Don't take the bait.
And Mischa Barton has a death-grip on this section of the bracket, if not this competition. Eva Green can show up looking like a Wiccan ballroom dance teacher to as many red carpets as she wants, but Mischa's clearly been buying costume trunks full of old dance costumes since kindergarten. Check and mate.
Posted by: Grant | Mar 25, 2008 7:02:33 PM
K-fed gets it. But I am biased: I loathe him.
Mischa takes some risks, stupid risks, but it's still better than fedora bum wannabe.
And the gross couple wins. I LOVE Eva's gothic melodrama. She's seductive and she can pull it off. I agree with someone else who said she pulls it off much better than HBC.
Posted by: Becca | Mar 25, 2008 7:20:27 PM
K-Fed's WHOLE LIFE is one big fug.
Posted by: hm | Mar 25, 2008 7:48:03 PM
Oh Speidi. How I love to hate you. You are my proverbial train wreck. It's tragic, but I can't look away.
Also, the B. Davis at the movies story is still amazing.
Posted by: J | Mar 25, 2008 8:12:03 PM
When I can't decide between two equally fug entrants, I always go for who I'd personally like to see DIAF. Hence my votes for Speidi, now and forever -- and I've never even seen them in action!
Posted by: Meg | Mar 25, 2008 8:14:33 PM
i just don't like this brakcet at all I hope whoever they face in the final four WHIPS THEIR BUTTS! Spiedi makes my skin crawl, and Mischa needs to go away
Posted by: Liz | Mar 25, 2008 8:19:08 PM
Sorry, but is it SNOWING on his jacket?
Posted by: Melissa | Mar 25, 2008 8:45:08 PM
how is mischa beating k-ed?? are you people crazy?
Posted by: jess m | Mar 25, 2008 8:57:25 PM
Mischa Barton beats KFed. KFed is just a douche and therefore must dress like a douche. Mischa was on a very popular tv show and would have had much more access to better clothing choices. She should have known better.
Spencer and Heidi just always look fugly. The fact they even exist is fugly. Eva Green is a hot mess in comparison to those two.
Posted by: eat my shorts | Mar 25, 2008 9:28:28 PM
Can we all take a moment to reminisce about the time KFed rapped--I'm sorry, let me choose another verb; how about the more general--'performed' at the West Hollywood Halloween Parade as part of the 'launch' of his 'music career' and was supposed to play a whole 'set' and instead played only one 'song' because everyone started laughing and--shame on them--booing? Remember? Anyone? God, it's memories like that that make me nostalgic for LA.
But sorry. I still voted for the Barton. Her fugduggery makes me so angry I start hurling deck chairs into my mother's new husband's pool whilst shrieking like the hounds of hell.
Eva Green: meh. I had to vote for the "feminist hero" (which made me spit my wheat-free dairy-free Newman O's all over the davenport) because...well, because.
Posted by: John the Craptist | Mar 25, 2008 9:33:25 PM
The results here are shaping up nicely but I just want to thank you, Fug Girls, for confirming that B. Davis is just as stank as I imagined him to be; possibly more.
That story is awesome and repulsive at the same time. I am glad you survived to share it with us all.
Posted by: jen310 | Mar 25, 2008 9:53:53 PM
WTF is Barton wearing in that photo?? To me, THAT is the apotheosis of fug: clothing that makes my eyebrows knit--clothing that simultaneously makes the wearer look both a) God-awful and b) like they took a lot of time/energy/money to look God-awful. That's why K-fed, skeevy and douche-y as he always looks, like a guy who would in any other circumstance be holding up the Piggly Wiggly for Thunderbird, can't compare here. His fug is natural, thoughtless, cheap--a reflection of his prosaic ugliness. Mischa should be, by all that is genetically and plastically benevolent, gorgeous, and yet here she is dressed like Agnes Morehead from Bewitched (which looked kinda fab on Agnes) and simply looks fug and bedraggled.
She's got a cute dog, though.
Posted by: Chaser | Mar 25, 2008 10:59:18 PM
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