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March 25, 2008
Fug Madness 2008: Charo, Round Two, Continued
(2) BAI LING vs. (7) KELLY CLARKSON
Ah, yes. Some would call this the battle of the unquestionably talented (K. Cla) versus the questionably talented (you know who). But doesn't the indomitable spirit that Bai Ling puts into her outfits count as a talent? We like to think so. It takes skill to accessorize a two-piece dress with William H. Macy. It takes moxie to go out in the snow practically naked. It takes balls to go out in a homemade crop-top with your own face on it. All that, AND she can dance.
She can not, as far as we know, sing, unlike her rival here:
Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly. KELLY KELLY KELLY KELLY KELLY KELLY KELLY. We love you. No -- we LOVE YOU. We voted our fingers off for you on AI. We car-danced our butts off to you thanks to "Since You Been Gone." We perma-saved From Justin to Kelly on our TiVos. We think you are perfect just as you are. Except we wish you'd stop wearing stuff like this.
(3) TARA REID vs. (11) DANIEL DAY-LEWIS
So these two would be a good match, right?
No? Are you sure? The star of Taradise! and one of our generations most gifted, well-spoken, intellectual and thoughtful actors? Not going to work? Why don't you believe in love for a second? I'm sure he'd love her in this, and she'd adore him wearing this...AGAIN. They're meant to be!
Posted by H & J at 11:00 AM in Fug Madness | Permalink
Comments
Bai Ling FTW!
Posted by: amazon | Mar 25, 2008 11:04:45 AM
I couldn't vote for Tara Reid. It is too sad. She isn't really fug but, rather, addicted or mentally ill.
Posted by: Carmide | Mar 25, 2008 11:05:42 AM
God, that suit! That SUIT! It's really well-made, too, which is what's so infuriating about it--look how well that hideous plaid is matched at the scene. Won't someone think of the poor sweatshop workers?
Still, I voted for Tara, because English people dressing bizarrely just isn't news.
And of course, Bai Ling rules all. She is the Empress of Fug.
Posted by: JupiterPluvius | Mar 25, 2008 11:06:05 AM
Fug gals, how could you? You put Bai Ling & Chloe in the SAME bracket? That totally messes up my fantasy championship slapfest to the death, though I am rooting for Bai all the way.
Posted by: Robert Salm | Mar 25, 2008 11:06:23 AM
How can anyone look at DDL's "suit" and not vote for him? It screams "FUG!"
Posted by: Susan | Mar 25, 2008 11:06:39 AM
These two showdowns were too easy...
Posted by: sinodame | Mar 25, 2008 11:07:14 AM
Please. Nobody can possibly compete with the sartorial tragedy that is Bai Ling. She once guest-starred on "Angel" wearing an outfit I'm 100% certain she took from her own closet.
Posted by: drdan | Mar 25, 2008 11:07:29 AM
How are Tara Reid and Daniel Day Lewis in the same category? DDL looks smashing.
Posted by: ber | Mar 25, 2008 11:08:32 AM
two easy decesions. Bai and Tara, no contest for either. But I will add my 2 cents that Bai Ling is like Penelope Cruise: great actresses in their only language, questionable and difficult to understand in English films
Posted by: lambman | Mar 25, 2008 11:09:11 AM
And Kelly Clarkson's fug is too ordinary. You can go to any TGIFriday's or other bar where overly-sweet alcoholic drinks are served and observe similar fug in any group of administrative assistants out on a spree.
Posted by: JupiterPluvius | Mar 25, 2008 11:09:21 AM
I SO look forward to the slapdown that will be The Sev and Bai Ling!
This is the best- thanks, Jessica and Heather!
Posted by: mrs o | Mar 25, 2008 11:10:07 AM
I went with Bai Ling and Tara Reid. What tipped the scale for me is the fact that Kelly and Daniel are actually contributing SOMETHING to society and do have actual money earning talent.
It is very evident that Bai Ling and Tara Reid have got a FUG gene in their dna and it is dominant over any talent gene that either of them might possess. They cannot do anything else... ergo...they fug.
Posted by: Sharon | Mar 25, 2008 11:10:09 AM
At least Daniel Day Lewis is talented.
Posted by: Autumn | Mar 25, 2008 11:10:51 AM
oh come ON people. DDL is a much fuglier dresser than poor Tara. Those patterns! My eyes!
I prefer to think of him as Irish, so I don't have to lump him in with Brits like Sienna Miller. No one deserves that.
Posted by: Jen | Mar 25, 2008 11:11:14 AM
Neither of these was very hard. DDL is certainly odd, but Tara's just a mess. Also, she doesn't make her own shoes. And Kelly's kind of...wholesome, so she can pull off fugliness a little bit. But Bai, oh Bai. I'm surprised she hasn't gone out largely befeathered like a showgirl yet. Maybe that time is coming.
Posted by: sarah | Mar 25, 2008 11:11:15 AM
I like Daniel's suit. I really do! No contest.
Posted by: cass | Mar 25, 2008 11:11:19 AM
Bai, obviously. What I'm more interested in is the repeating of Kelly's name. Was that a reference to Woody's Kelly song on Cheers? ("Because you're Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, K-E-L-L-WHY... Because you're...") Whatever the case, that will be stuck in my head all day.
Also, Tara because... ugh. Trainwreck.
Posted by: Kristin 18 | Mar 25, 2008 11:13:52 AM
Daniel Day Lewis is a genius, and thus its OK for him to be fug (much like my feelings about HBC yesterday), because he doesn't know any better, ironically.
Bai Ling should take this entire thing, absolutely no question. She couldn't get any crazier if she was wrapped in a bow and hand delivered to a mental asylum. But my husband thinks she's hot, and so does Jack from Lost unfortunately. Are they blind?
Posted by: Kris | Mar 25, 2008 11:14:24 AM
I do not accept that Bai Ling is a "great actress" in Chinese.
I don't speak Chinese, but in the spooky dumplings movie, Bai Ling looked stiff and distracted, kind of like someone starring in a high-school civics pageant.
I was embarrassed for her. The amazing Tony Leung Kar Fai couldn't even save her.
Posted by: JupiterPluvius | Mar 25, 2008 11:14:30 AM
Bai Ling repeatedly brings new definitions of fug to GFY. She is fug personified.
Posted by: Jayme | Mar 25, 2008 11:17:20 AM
Let us not forget the fugtabulous show "But Can They Sing?". Fug Girls, we DO know that Bai Ling cannot sing, not even a little bit.
Posted by: Pam | Mar 25, 2008 11:17:37 AM
That "sexy" skirt on Tara made me spit out my Honey Bunches.
Posted by: Krys | Mar 25, 2008 11:17:40 AM
Bai Ling hands down. That girl is going to make it to the Final Four or there is no God.
Posted by: Amy | Mar 25, 2008 11:19:13 AM
Heh, the KELLY KELLY KELLY was totally a Cheers reference. Good catch!
Posted by: Jessica | Mar 25, 2008 11:23:01 AM
Fake, lopsided breasts make questionable fashion choices even worse.
Posted by: Jael | Mar 25, 2008 11:24:33 AM
That suit on DDL is beautiful. Seriously. He's a snappy dresser. How frustrating must it be to be a man and have to deal with the dearth of interesting mens' clothing out there? And he makes his own shoes! It's unfair pitting a wreck like Tara Reid with a dapper craftsman like DDL.
Also his hoop earrings make him look like a sexy pirate. Arrr.
Posted by: Genny | Mar 25, 2008 11:25:07 AM
DDL is wacky, but at least he still has a unique dapper-ness about him. During Spring Break in South Padre you can throw a rock and hit some slutty Girl Gone Wild Tara-clone. Tara is infinitely more fug.
William H. Macy looks scared. 'Nuff said.
Posted by: Kristin | Mar 25, 2008 11:26:34 AM
If there's anyone who could possibly topple Chloe, Phoebe, and blonde Peldon in one fell swoop, it'd be Bai Ling.
Posted by: gw | Mar 25, 2008 11:27:09 AM
Bai Ling for the win: Really, I predict that she's going to take this whole thing.
Reid over Day-Lewis: DDL is undeniably eccentric, but comparing their overall bodies of fug, there just isn't any real contest here.
Posted by: Kate | Mar 25, 2008 11:29:03 AM
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Easy choices Hot Mess Tara & Hot Mess Bai. Sweet Jeebez what glorious fuggery!
Posted by: KatyMay | Mar 25, 2008 11:29:22 AM
Oh my so easy!! Daniel is just eccentric, much like my beloved Viggo (yes, I do recall the Matador outfit!!).
Tara is just FUG all the way around, and Bai is crazy.
Posted by: liz | Mar 25, 2008 11:29:43 AM
I predict that the wonderfully fugly Bai Ling is going to win this whole thing. Her wacky clothes and multiple personalities never fail to put a smile on my face.
Posted by: Athena | Mar 25, 2008 11:32:58 AM
I don't actually even know who Bai Ling is, except for seeing her on this site... I think she's a dynamo.
Posted by: McAngeOK | Mar 25, 2008 11:33:28 AM
Bai and her 17 skankily-dressed personalities totally demolish Kelly's sweetly unsuspecting fugliness. There's "not knowing any better" and then there's "knowing better but showing your cooch in public anyway."
Speaking of cooch... whoops, no fair. Tara hasn't done half as much as Bai to draw our attention to that particular region of her anatomy. It seems she prefers that we stare at her "SEXY" ass. She got my vote. Daniel gets a pass because at least I will never have visual evidence to show whether his vasctomy was botched as bad as Tara's boob job.
Posted by: Pandora | Mar 25, 2008 11:33:58 AM
(*dramatic sound of gongs clashing*)
BAI LING, DDDDDDDDDDuuuuhhhh.
And, I mean, same duhness goes for Tara. This was the easiest vote yet, IMO.
Daniel and Kelly are both so smart and talented! It's as if they're the antitheses of their fug rivals in ways that go so far beyond fashion. It's hard to fault them. It's kinda like Johnny and Helena and Tim. It's like, oh, you're eccentric! I get it! Awww, that's adorable.
Kelly just needs a stylist is all and then she'll be fine. You hear that, Kelly? We all love your ass! NONE of the other Idol winners have even come close to your awesomeness, and their songs are lame-o (can I just say that the image of Jesus taking the wheel seriously makes me giggle each time I think about it?). I was seriously listening to Breakaway the other day -- that "Addicted" song is so hot.
Anyway.
WEIRD pairs this time, but easy choices for this broad.
Posted by: Ernestine | Mar 25, 2008 11:49:15 AM
Sweet Jesus, could you imagine being trapped in an elevator with Bai Ling?
But really, who isn't looking forward to the (pleasepleaseplease!) match up between Bai Ling and Chloe Sevigny? I don't know whether to be gleeful or terrified.
Posted by: KHS | Mar 25, 2008 11:49:25 AM
I have Bai Ling winning the whole thing. Go Bai!!! Wooo!
Posted by: Meg | Mar 25, 2008 11:56:05 AM
I voted for Kelly because she could be so cute and just doesn't get it. Bai Ling gets it. She's trying to get attention and I refuse to give it to her.
Tara Reid for the win. I kinda like the Sherlock Holmes nerdy brother suit.
Posted by: B | Mar 25, 2008 11:57:04 AM
Bai Ling is a freaking super star of fug. Kelly is just... well Kelly seems like a nice girl who might be color blind.
Posted by: Genevieve | Mar 25, 2008 11:57:23 AM
Wikipedia has just handed me the most disturbing news I've heard all day-- apparently Ms. Ling dated CHRIS ISAAC from 1999-2001. Wicked games Chris Issac? The man I had a crush on from approximately 1999-2001? This cannot be-- Bai and I simply cannot share anything.
Posted by: na | Mar 25, 2008 11:57:46 AM
I actually kinda liked Bai on that episode of Angel. I don't think she's all that terrible of an actress. A coked-out publicity whore, probably. An endlessly fugalicious dresser from the surreal school of Alpha Centari, definitely. Bad actress, eh, not seeing it.
Then again I liked Bjork's swan dress, so maybe I should just keep quiet.
Posted by: mouse | Mar 25, 2008 11:59:05 AM
This bitch is comin' down to the wire:
The Ling VS. The Sev!!
Poor Peldon...you got no chance!!
xoxo
Posted by: ang. | Mar 25, 2008 12:01:06 PM
Kelly didn't stand a chance.
But I am despondent over having to make a choice between DDL and Tara "nipple slip" Reid. Curse you for making me choose! On one hand, DDL's jacket would make a perfect picnic cloth should I happen to lose mine in the wind, but can I forgive the fact that Tara was so...let's say, medicated...that she couldn't tell her own boob was swinging in the wind? AAhhh!! Can't - decide - now...must - lie - down.
Posted by: Lorraine Bates | Mar 25, 2008 12:04:38 PM
I have seen Bai Ling at an event for a charity where I worked and she is a true fruit loop - but I love her fot it. And maybe she's outfoxed us all by deliberately wearing heinous clothes and tearing up this competition. I mean, without it, would she have a leg to stand on?
So here's to you, Bai - a wellspring of smarts in the vapid, celebrity wilderness.
Posted by: Mike | Mar 25, 2008 12:04:50 PM
Bai Ling is just bat-sh*t crazy. I laughed aloud (at work no less) when I read the dialogue between Bai Ling and William H. Macy. I love it when you Fug Girls write dialogues. They are a scream.
This Fug Madness is the funniest thing on the internet!
Posted by: semcc | Mar 25, 2008 12:06:08 PM
If Bai Ling and Tara Reid end up having a fug-off I will pee myself with excitement and/or have an aneurysm trying to decide whose the fuggiest of them all. It'll be the ultimate Sack-Up-Ho-Off. Their attributes are different, yet wonderful in their own unique ways. All of Miss Ling's charming personalities seem to have a penchant for lady part ventilation. I'm sure the only thing that they have in common is that their common mantra is 'get naked....NOW'. Tara Reid however...sandbags. It's a tough call my friends.
Posted by: Meems | Mar 25, 2008 12:06:48 PM
Ah yes, THERE she is. I was wondering.
As for the gentleman in plaid, he's merely way out of date. In 1890 that plaid would have been considered *moderate.* Not, of course, for formal wear. No, it was the ladies who could wear, to a formal ball with Royalty present, a plaid of magenta, shocking pink, lime green, and tiny threads of navy, all done in spanky-new aniline dyes. Who knows, maybe plaids for gentlemen are about to come in again, though I hope not.
Posted by: djheydt | Mar 25, 2008 12:08:50 PM
I just could not move beyond the suit. And I mean, do you HAVE ANY IDEA how many times I've watched Last of the Mohicans? Still, had to vote him off the island.
Posted by: Razmarie | Mar 25, 2008 12:09:00 PM
Bai is so freaky with her style, and I can't make heads or tails of it. Minus February when she had several well-played's to her name.
Daniel's suit is so fugly I had to vote for him.
Posted by: Victoria | Mar 25, 2008 12:11:01 PM
Bai Ling!
I love DDL.
He is awesome and can wear whatever the hell he wants.
I will still fantasize about him.
Posted by: Z | Mar 25, 2008 12:21:50 PM
Oh man, picking on Tara feels like picking on Britney these days. I just can't get that in touch with my inner mean girl. So I voted DDL.
Posted by: emmie | Mar 25, 2008 12:24:10 PM
there is no denying kelly fugs it up, but seriously, next to any of bai lings personalities, kelly is no match.
Posted by: kafit | Mar 25, 2008 12:29:49 PM
Had to go with Tara on this one. DDL definitely is more quirky. Where as Tara's style is more 'inexpensive whore'. Which is sad considering that she probably spends a lot of money to look that way :-(
Posted by: Sheri | Mar 25, 2008 12:33:41 PM
BAI LING FOREVER. that was like putting a starved tiger in a cage with a bunny. no contest.
Posted by: sophia | Mar 25, 2008 12:45:22 PM
No contest on this round.
DDL might be wearing a loud suit, but it looks to be finely tailored fug.
Tara, otoh, looks just like one of those women you see when they're like, 50, still wearing something they wore when they were 20, complete with bags under their eyes and a cigarette dangling from their wrinkled lips.
In fact, I think she WILL do this very thing. I said it first!
Bai vs. anyone is really no contest. She's the High Priestess of Fug.
Then again, when I have to press the button as she and Chlo-Sev go at each other, I may pause to reflect.
The Sev actually takes herself seriously. Bai is just batty.
Posted by: Meh_Whatever | Mar 25, 2008 12:50:25 PM
Um, I just want to know how Bai Ling ended up in the same ROOM with William H. Macy, let alone in that embrace.
I am soooo looking forward to the upcoming rounds. This is getting really good.
Posted by: Miss Em | Mar 25, 2008 12:51:12 PM
I really don't understand how Bai Ling isn't seeded #1 overall. Seriously -- who's going to beat her? (I'll take my answer offline; thanks.)
As for Tara v. Daniel, it's very simple: I've never seen Daniel Day-Lewis's nipples (Last of the Mohicans notwithstanding). Case closed.
Posted by: Magdalen Braden | Mar 25, 2008 12:52:05 PM
Th next round in this bracket reads like the final four... P Squared, Chloe, Bai and Tara... if they were in separate brackets they could quite easily all be up against each other at the end.
Posted by: JONATHAN | Mar 25, 2008 12:57:19 PM
I don't care who she's up against, Bai Ling wins Fugly EVERY time. She is the Queen of Fug!! I bow to her fugliness.
Posted by: cwelk | Mar 25, 2008 12:57:45 PM
Oh Bai Ling, the Nipple Thing. How does she fug me, let me count the ways. Nothing poor Ms. Clarkson can don can match the yellow striped horror that was Ms. Ling's Ode to Victoria Secret's Free Gift With Purchase look. Final four at least for Bai!!
Tara Reid is just a slob. Put the sauce to anyone and they look like a turkey. DDL COBBLES his Fug. Harumph. No one appreciates hand-crafted Fug these days.
Posted by: SidheDevil | Mar 25, 2008 1:01:11 PM
My favorite moment in A Room With a View is DDL sitting on the stairs and sadly putting on his shoes (maybe this is why he became a shoemaker?)after Lucy dumps Cecil. He makes me weep for Cecil, pompous ass that he is, and that's some great acting. But I must vote for him. I'm afraid he really believes his way of dressing is extremely cool in a way only interesting and discerning people would understand. I voted for him because he is giving "intellectual" a bad name and Tara Reid is just giving "attention whore" its due.
Posted by: Leah | Mar 25, 2008 1:04:07 PM
drdan - omg I didn't know that was bai ling in Angel, I am re-watching that episode ASAP
Posted by: lambman | Mar 25, 2008 1:12:15 PM
Wait... Bai Ling did an Angel episode? Must See.
And "English people dressing bizarrely just isn't news"? Jupiterpluvius, you are my hero.
Posted by: your neighborhood librarian | Mar 25, 2008 1:14:04 PM
Oh, Bai... don't ever change.
Posted by: Betsy | Mar 25, 2008 1:14:12 PM
Tara love, they stopped wearing stuff similar to that at Woodstock. ACtually I was better dressed than in the mud at Woodstock. As for the suit, Danny, did you con that off a Scot's sheepherder by any chance?>
Posted by: Beau | Mar 25, 2008 1:25:01 PM
Sidhedevil: "DDL COBBLES his Fug. Harumph. No one appreciates hand-crafted Fug these days."
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Bai Ling can't leave the house without showing us all her intimate areas. My favorite fugging you girls have ever done was the "almost well played" Bai Ling, where everything looked fine, but when you looked more closely, there was her nipple. Again. I really don't know what I'm going to do when it's her against super-high-rise-pant-with-camel-toe-and-those-fucking-heinous-white-sunglasses Chloe Sevigny.
Posted by: Catherine | Mar 25, 2008 1:40:49 PM
I dare you to read up on DDL. It will scare you. Makes his own shoes, so of course his clothes choices are just perfect. He has hippie class-is there such a thing? Fugly and scary--wooo.
Posted by: vikki | Mar 25, 2008 1:43:39 PM
Uh, Ling and Reid though honestly, this is heart-breakingly sad - in outfit after outfit you can almost smell their desperation - which can be a lesson to us all - do not, repeat, do not, and once more for Ling - do not dress in desperation - it always shows and never leads to work - seriously girls, you are not new to the business - if it is work you are so desperate for then the secret is not to dress outrageously - but to undress discreetly - as if you both don't already know that -- or maybe, how about, even, gasp - working on your craft.
Posted by: Ricky | Mar 25, 2008 1:47:14 PM
Bai Ling was great in Dumplings, not stiff and distracted at all. She was so sanguine about the hideous stuff she was cooking up, and the methods she used to get it. But I could see how her low key performance could be mistaken for stiff. That's the problem with subtlety--sometimes it sails right over people's heads. Also thought she was creepily great in her brief role in The Crow. And to keep it on topic, she is my High Priestess of fug. Screw Sevigny. She's too snooty about it. Bai's earnest fug has won her a place in my heart.
Posted by: Sukey | Mar 25, 2008 1:49:40 PM
I agree that DDL's suit somehow transcends fug. I don't know, I just love him, and it. Thank the gods it appears that Ms. Reid will advance.
Posted by: Keeks | Mar 25, 2008 1:51:08 PM
It could possibly be that, as a professor in the humanities who spends all her time in the halls of academe, my retinas have developed too much scar tissue to see things as they really are... You know, guys in weird tweed suits and mismatched plaids and all. But, I have to say that I really like D-D-L's strange yet beguiling suit. Quirky? Well, yeah. But in an "Ohhh, yes, Professor... On your desk? Really?" kind of way.
Posted by: Lindy | Mar 25, 2008 1:52:32 PM
I find myself voting for the fuggers who's style can be right on sometimes, but is so often not (i.e. Kelly Clarkson). So I'm having trouble voting for the Bai Ling's of the world, who are so consistently crazy.
Posted by: Lindsey | Mar 25, 2008 1:58:37 PM
Re: Bai Ling on "Angel" -- Actually, she kind of kicked ass in that episode. I wouldn't call it "good," but it wasn't terrible. Her outfit, on the other hand...I'm just surprised she's not still rocking the facial make-up.
Posted by: drdan | Mar 25, 2008 1:59:26 PM
These were too easy. Bai Ling is the QUEEN of fug. I have her going all the way, and I'm not sure ANYONE has a chance of dethroning her.
Posted by: Kristan | Mar 25, 2008 2:01:34 PM
Um, Fug Girls? One of "our generation's" most blah blah blah? I think he belongs to our parents' generation, unless I am mistaken and you are in your mid-50s.
That's not to say I wouldn't hit it, because I definitely would. But it's old as hell.
Posted by: Elizabeth | Mar 25, 2008 2:03:27 PM
Another quandary: Which is more tragic: being fug by accident, in the cases of Kelly and Tara? Or intentionally looking that stupid, as in Bai and DDL? Couldn't decide, so split the decision. Bai and Tara.
Posted by: Kate | Mar 25, 2008 2:03:28 PM
I know I should vote for Bai Ling over K Cla. I KNOW. But somehow, Bai Ling has managed to make her insane sartorial choices part of her image, while Kelly just looks bad and sad. So I had to go with Kelly.
In fact, I've pretty consistently gone with the ones who just look like crap as opposed to the ones who've trademarked lunacy. Most of them, frankly, manage to make it work, in spite of all rational belief to the contrary. But I notice that the percentages are against me.
Posted by: Karen | Mar 25, 2008 2:10:56 PM
truly, the charo bracket had too many heavy hitters in it. the next round IS the final four - phoebe, bai, reid and the sev. who in any of the other brackets can even hope to beat them? who!? posh? paris? (although i still think peldon might be a major upset overall.)
the charo bracket reigns supreme. all hail.
Posted by: sophia | Mar 25, 2008 2:12:06 PM
I think Tara Reid was kind of funny on Scrubs. Just because her reality TV show was a nightmare doesn't mean she's absolutely talentless. Give the girl a break. At least she didn't try to appear in like V for Vendetta. She sticks to parts where she plays the pretty college love interest. And, hey, who among us wouldn't sign up to play the med student love interest in Van Wilder II: Ditching Grad School if given the chance to make a few hundred thou for prancing around in tight clothes and a down to earth girl messy ponytail?
Posted by: Emily | Mar 25, 2008 2:14:39 PM
Thank you, Magdalen. You snapped me out of my quandry, and I, too, voted for Tara "nipple slip" Reid.
Since we are seemingly anti-British here, with the defeat of my beloved HBC (Posh results not withstanding), I guess DDL can go too, and bask in the glow of having defeated the Aussies in the first round.
Posted by: Lorraine Bates | Mar 25, 2008 2:29:29 PM
Anyone with enough time on their hands from being unemployed (and desperate for attention) could be Bai Ling. She just does intensely crazy skanky costumes, which, admittedly, are fabulously fug. But I'm voting for those who earnestly try, try, try to look "purty", "fashionable", "hip" or "classy" and fail miserably in the attempt, due to sheer bad taste, bad judgment and possibly bad drugs.
That said, I'm hoping for a Chloe V. Posh fug-off.
Posted by: Critter | Mar 25, 2008 2:36:10 PM
i always have to ultimately fug anyone who's vag i've seen.
Posted by: BIZ | Mar 25, 2008 2:38:49 PM
Bai Vs. Clarkson. The talentless asian freak takes this one easily.
Reid Vs. Lewis. Tara takes it simply because Europeans are allowed to dress bizarrely.
Posted by: Ben | Mar 25, 2008 2:47:10 PM
I love DDL's suit in there. I would wear the crap out of it, sans the tie, and with some jeans though. Too much plaid is just too overpowering. . .
Bai Ling kinda reminds me of what a Bratz doll that reached maturity would look like. The make-up, the huge cranial implants, etc...
And Tara Reid, poor thing, is just sad.
Posted by: Grant | Mar 25, 2008 2:49:51 PM
I voted Day-Lewis simply because he is one of those inexplicable good-looking people who go way, way out of their way to look fug. DDL, you're a guy, just buy a nice suit. No real effort involved, honey.
Posted by: YankinTex | Mar 25, 2008 2:50:06 PM
Kelly obviously loses this one, but it would not have been so had she been up against anyone else. After all, she still has one thing the others don't:
Skirt. Of. Ties.
That thing is core fug mythology and it could have been her ticket to the championship.
You shall win the battle, Bai, but you will lose the war. Or maybe you'll win it. You actually have a pretty good chance.
Posted by: Melissa | Mar 25, 2008 3:00:27 PM
Sure, Kelly Clarkson sometimes makes poor fashion choices for her body type... but Bai Ling is INSANE!
Posted by: Diana | Mar 25, 2008 3:17:05 PM
Thank Jeebus this round was easy.
Bai Ling and Tara Reid are obvious choices.
Posted by: Craig | Mar 25, 2008 3:23:31 PM
I concur with Craig. No contest.
Posted by: tigerstripes | Mar 25, 2008 3:27:16 PM
The idea of a Tara/Daniel fling is the funniest thing I've heard all week.
Thank you.
Posted by: Rachel 2 | Mar 25, 2008 3:27:18 PM
Bai may dress crazy but nobody goes stumpy like K. Clark
Posted by: Maz | Mar 25, 2008 3:27:34 PM
How could I not vote for Bai Ling? I want to see her (or C.Sev) win this thing! I want a knockdown, drag-out, no-fugs-barred contest between Chloe Sevigny and Bai Ling!
And I had to vote for Danny Boy over Tara because DDL is a good-looking man who is desperately trying to make himself look like a used-car salesman from a small town in Kansas. Or like Pee-Wee Herman.
Posted by: Ailurophile | Mar 25, 2008 3:33:51 PM
If Sevigny and Ling don't advance to round 3, there's no hope left. I'm thinking Sevigny deserves to win it all. Ling may fug like there's no tomorrow, but she's crazy and therefore has a bit of an excuse. Sevigny, on the other hand, is so pompous that she actually thinks she's a trendsetter.
Posted by: Jadeblueafterglow | Mar 25, 2008 3:38:56 PM
Bai Ling v. Kelly Clarkson - that's not even fair. Poor Kelly's fug doesn't stand a chance.
Tara Reid is one can of Red Bull away from being another Britney...
Posted by: kayla | Mar 25, 2008 3:43:36 PM
Come ON people! Tara is just an attention seeking wack job, but DDL ought to know better. It's a CRIME to see him dressed like my grandmother's couch - and not even the good one in the "company" room, but the grody one in the den where the kids are allowed to eat while watching TV.
Posted by: Deb | Mar 25, 2008 3:49:02 PM
so weird...I always thought Bai Ling was a man in drag. Until today. Unless you're being politically correct?
Posted by: pamela | Mar 25, 2008 3:52:59 PM
So I'm not the only one salivating for the Sevigny-Bai Ling cage deathmatch! I'm rootin' for Batsh**t Ling and her minion of personalities to come out alive, but I keep remembering Chloe's heinous clothing line, with the worst "modeling" poses ever-- someone call Tyra! (And what of poor, fierce Juliette Lewis?) Man, this is fun!
Posted by: Michelle | Mar 25, 2008 3:58:32 PM
Kelly does have a fugtastic ability to stumpify herself, but please, how can anyone who looks the least bit sane even try to take on Bai? The only contender with a chance to de-fug La Ling is Chloe Sevigny - I predict that is the final round! As for Miss Reid and DDL - it's like seeing the opposite ends of the intellectual spectrum and realizinf that whether you have too many brains or too few you apparently still can't dress yourself. Or bathe. But Tara has to win just because she also manages to always look (or actually be) trashed as well.
Posted by: kaet johnson | Mar 25, 2008 4:02:51 PM
Kelly vs Bai: Bai takes the prize! Easy vote. At least Kelly is trying; I mean I can see where she was trying to go with it. Bai's outfits just scream "TAKE MY PICTURE! SEE HOW WACKY I DRESSED? TAKE MY PICTURE!" I can never condone that type of attention-whorelery. Cannot stand the ridiculous looking ho.
Tara vs Daniel Day Lewis (I cannot refer to him as Daniel - he's Daniel Day Lewis): Tara gets the vote for always looking like she's just stumbled out of a frat house keg party, walk-of-shame style. Where you know her panties are dirty and she needs a lot of water kind of walk, and she just wants to make it back home unseen and crash on her futon. Daniel Day Lewis may have a kooky suit, but he is incredibly talented, modest about his work, and good looking. He just looks like a kooky yet creative artiste.
Posted by: jax | Mar 25, 2008 4:46:24 PM
Bai over Kelly-Bai gets it just for wearing her own face on her shirt. Ridiculous when Paris does it and ridiculous when you do it, Bai. Now, that is not to say that I think Kelly is OKAY. Because she is NOT okay. Heard she is coming out with another album soon-ish, and I really hope she has a new stylist by then, too because I like her. Bai-could do without her but Kelly, I want you to stay.
Tara over Daniel-Really, really hate to kick a girl when she's down (and has been down going down-er for about hmmm...7 plus years) but DAMN, Tara. I almost think that she should have received the same Dishonorable Discharge as Brit Brit got this year. I mean, Daniel looks crazy but he DOESN'T look like an mental patient who escaped the ward and decided to go on a 7 year cocaine/vodka bender while they were at it. GEEZ just, GEEZ!
Posted by: Sophia Patrillo | Mar 25, 2008 5:01:10 PM
Bai Ling KOs Kelly Clarkson. In, like, the first five seconds. Bai lives to fug.
It really pained me, but I had to vote against DDL here. Daniel Day Lewis has managed some incredibly fugly get-ups, but it always seems so intentional, as though he's consciously going for "Sherlock Holmes suit" or "homeless person." However, unlike my favorite fug personalities (e.g., Bai, Courtney, J.Lo, Juliette), he never seems to really go for the fug gusto - he just has some bizarre idea in mind that seems fascinating to him and is off-puttingly unattractive to the rest of us. Tara Reid, however - dear God, the humanity! She falls at the opposite end of the fug spectrum, which is the other region that gets my votes - the way-below-A-listers of modest talents who are trying SO DAMN HARD to get attention and seem to think they are showcasing their assets when they are in fact pitiably badly dressed.
Posted by: Katherine | Mar 25, 2008 5:18:49 PM
Is it wrong that I kind of like Bai Ling's shoes in that picture? And that if I was drunk, I'd totally be dancing along with her (without the tail/ruffle thing on my skirt though)
Posted by: Alli | Mar 25, 2008 5:21:01 PM
The thing about that plaid suit is, the more I look at it (thanks GFY! REALLY) the more I kinda sorta really kinda maybe think I sorta like it. It's like one of those sofas you find in an alley and drag into your dorm room and the more you sleep on it, the more it, you know, grows on you, and maybe not in a good way, but still... Embrace the plaid sofa... BE the plaid sofa... God help me, I'm starting to like that hideous suit. He can cobble my footwear any time. Tara Reid is an entirely different category of fugness. Apples and hairbrushes -- impossible to compare. (But at least DDL looks like he might have a passing acquaintance with a hairbrush. And with apples.)
Posted by: Syd | Mar 25, 2008 5:31:32 PM
How does Bai Ling not get an automatic bye to the championship? I can't believe we had to vote...
Posted by: June | Mar 25, 2008 5:33:18 PM
At least Daniel Day-Lewis has the 'eccentric genius' excuse ...
Posted by: Andrea Mitchell | Mar 25, 2008 5:53:08 PM
Unless Tara made her own "sexy" (quotes as in NO WAY) skirt, imagine how it must have been like for DDL trying not hypnotize himself while looking in the mirror (did he?), however I love him and his wacky clothes (much like HBC), you can't have that kind of talent and also be a fabulous fashionista me thinks. Please don't make me put those two people in the same paragraph EVER again, please.
Also Bai Ling is Queen of All Fug, but Kelly , poor girl...
Posted by: lady_wraith | Mar 25, 2008 6:03:21 PM
you people need to not pick on DDL. i can see if he were actually making an effort to be stylish and was failing, but he's just a soft-spoken hermit who gets dragged to award shows against his will.
and to put him in the same category with tara reid...well. it just hurts my heart.
Posted by: kristin | Mar 25, 2008 6:04:16 PM
I'm thinking today's face-off is the remedial version of yesterday's MENSA match-up. MUCH easier to decide. Clearly, as some others have stated, KC and DDL at least have some observable and marketable talent, if not the best stylists even a fraction of their hard-earned money could easily buy. Tara is a sad poster child for the quickie surgery in lieu of oh, I don't know--living like the star of a perpetual MTV Spring Break segment--although she does earn mild props for once holding the affections of Carson Where-the-*#?@-is-He-Now Daly. Bai Ling, on the other hand--should just win the WHOLE DAMN THING. Period. I haven't seen the oft-mentioned and apparently critically-acclaimed episode of "Angel," and I'm afraid to even ask what the hell "Dumplings" is all about, but any doubt I had about her acting chops (or hell--even her ability to do ANYTHING) completely vanished when I saw her in an ill-fated episode of "Lost" a season or so ago. HIDEOUS. This tiny stripping sprite, while hardly "working" for the Fug crown, could certainly use it as as a handy cover-up. I know I would be grateful.
Posted by: Laurie | Mar 25, 2008 6:15:11 PM
In the comments, I keep seeing all these references and allusions to Bai Ling possessing a career as an actor of some sort and even, in her native language, of some repute.
Please explain.
And the decision betwixt the former future Mrs. Carson Daly and Mr. Daniel Plainview is like comparing apples and orange-colored self tanner.
For God's sake, one of these two looks like he'd rather stay in his basement restoring old guillotines and would prefer never to leave the house, AND THE OTHER ONE IS ACTUALLY TRYING.
Posted by: Grant | Mar 25, 2008 6:25:54 PM
Oh Bai. You make our world richer, wackier and scarier with a simple combination of a miniskirt, the entire Claire's back wall and, oh, Sunday's newspaper as a shirt. She needs a statue dedicated to her somewhere where people can make sacrifices of good taste and sanity to win her divine favor. Bai Ling is the FUG GODDESS!
I had to vote for DDL because he is TOTALLY conscious when he makes these choices. Tara I think is high and has people around her making suggestions just for sh*ts and giggles. That is, they giggle so hard that they do the other thing because they can't BELIEVE she hasn't caught onto them yet. She just doesn't look completely in control of her thoughts or body. Poor girl.
Posted by: Elisabetta | Mar 25, 2008 6:38:27 PM
Bai Ling beats Poor Kelly, hands down. She beats burries her, holds the funeral service, and then takes the flowers off the altar for her own personal use (most likely some highly dignified nipple accessories).
Daniel Day-Lewis was once tremendoubsly attractive, and can be forgiven for much. Yes, even the suit that looks like it was made from my Polish Grandfather's couch. While I feel sorry for Tara, I just can't forgive, well, any of her choices.
Posted by: Anastasia | Mar 25, 2008 6:49:11 PM
Daniel Day Lewis looks amazing. He would look better...naked. Ugh, he's so fucking dreamy. Why is he with that ugly...whatsherface...
Posted by: nicole | Mar 25, 2008 6:53:29 PM
I wanted to vote for D-Day SOOOOOO bad, just because I'm sick of attractive men with good genetics fuggin up. I'm sick of lazy bum syndrome. We need more Clooneys + Cary Grants!!! Bring back dapper + sauve, guys!!! But.....I had to vote for Reid. D-Day is weird, eccentric, but even at his worst, he's not THAT much of a mess.
And it's Bai. Kelly is young and redeemable. What would Bai where to a funeral? (sorry, that thought just occurred to me...)
Posted by: Becca | Mar 25, 2008 7:13:38 PM
I vote we startup a new foundation - "Bras for Bai" before her boobs sink into and become mistaken for her midsection.
Posted by: Kim | Mar 25, 2008 7:17:20 PM
I know I'm in the minority here (and maybe the ONLY one), but I think Bai Ling kinda pulls that outfit off. Kelly looks like an extra on Designing Women or something, and she's way too cute for that.
Posted by: Melissa | Mar 25, 2008 8:38:43 PM
While the former flannel blanket that has been stitched into DDL's suit is hideous (someone, throw gasoline on it at the dry cleaners and save us all!), I can make the excuse (like others) that he's Irish and shy and carves his own furniture, like any woodland creature. He's busy THINKING DEEP THOUGHTS. And he actually got the Oscar and Golden Globe thing thing right this year. Tara on the other hand: a train speeding toward an open canyon: no one can stop her. And you're looking forward to the Big Crash. It wasn't the SEXY appliqued on her denim ass that sealed the deal so much as the truly tacky flip-flops. For God's sake, they cost $7.95 at Target: get a new pair! And Bai Ling: 'nuff said. Gotta love the moxie.
Posted by: G-Ex | Mar 25, 2008 8:56:32 PM
C'mon... Bai against Kelly? That's sandblasting a soupcracker.
Posted by: DC | Mar 25, 2008 8:58:22 PM
Wasn't it Bai Ling who rolled around on the floor in a jeweled bra and panty set singing, horribly off-key, "I touch myself." Yeah, she can't sing.
Posted by: Dorothy | Mar 25, 2008 9:03:46 PM
Wasn't it Bai Ling who rolled around on the floor in a jeweled bra and panty set singing, horribly off-key, "I touch myself?" Yeah, she can't sing.
Posted by: Dorothy | Mar 25, 2008 9:04:14 PM
LONG LIVE BAI LING!
I've been defending some repeat offenders for being fugly and loving every moment of it as part of their 'quirky style', but Bai deserves my vote and would WEAR IT WITH PRIDE.
Posted by: Brammi | Mar 25, 2008 9:04:20 PM
Wasn't it Bai Ling who rolled around on the floor in a jeweled bra and panty set singing, horribly off-key, "I touch myself?" Yeah, she can't sing.
Posted by: Dorothy | Mar 25, 2008 9:05:08 PM
Addendum: ... And would accessorize said vote with fake fur bangle bracelets and a pale pink taffeta shawl.
Posted by: Brammi | Mar 25, 2008 9:07:03 PM
Tara Reid almost won with that first picture, but I can almost smell DDL's mothballs. It's the type of fug that has been proudly passed down an ancient family tree and has roots so deep it will never die!
Posted by: mfg | Mar 25, 2008 9:15:20 PM
Why can't Kelly just constantly wear her skirt of ties from "From Justin to Kelly"? It was her best look ever. Sigh.
To the woman who wrote about Bai Ling's romantic entanglement with Chris Isaak--I did know that and you know how? Because E! had a special last weekend about the sexiest stars in Hollywood and--wait for it--BAI MADE THE LIST. No seriously. And no I did not misinterpret. The segment was inexplicably NOT about Chris Isaak being sexy. Twas about Bai. My hand to God.
DDL is just wacky. It's his job to wear things like that. Like the Swinton. The only thing that separates Tara Reid from a trailer park in my mother's hometown in Arkansas is a teenage pregnancy.
Well, THAT WE KNOW OF anyway.
Posted by: John the Craptist | Mar 25, 2008 9:17:02 PM
Bai Ling and Tara Reid.
Too easy.
Posted by: eat my shorts | Mar 25, 2008 9:19:25 PM
I couldn't Fug DDL, because I have always been in love with him.
Posted by: ClaudesMom | Mar 25, 2008 9:23:17 PM
As fugged out crazy as Bai Ling is, I actually had to go with Kelly Clarkson. I have yet to see her in anything flattering for her figure. She's one of those celebs who just make you shake your head and know deep down that money can't buy everything. Like taste.
Posted by: buttercup | Mar 25, 2008 9:30:16 PM
I think Kelly Clarkson is adorable and just kind of more interested in singing than clothes, so she either operates on her old taste mixed with her new money, or on the advice of lazy stylists who only know the generic Hollywood girl body, and not the awesome real girl body of Clarkson. It's too bad sometimes, but I wouldn't call it fug.
Posted by: Wes | Mar 25, 2008 9:46:10 PM
I can't believe that Reid is winning. Her fug comes from drunken hangovers while double DL achieves his fug sober. Tara is a hot mess and her fug is a result of that. DDL should win this, damnit! I love you DDL because you are the personification of fug over Tara Reid. Here's to you coming back strong in '09. What a heartbreaker.
Posted by: jen310 | Mar 25, 2008 10:01:19 PM
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