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March 24, 2008
Fug Madness 2008: Charo, Round Two
(1) CHLOE SEVIGNY vs. (9) MARY-KATE OLSEN
This ought to get interesting. The queen of quirk versus Princess Derelicte.
We're sure you spent oodles -- OODLES! -- of time in the Chloe Archives before casting your vote last week, but if you can only look at one photo, please make it this one. It bears telling that when one of our fathers caught sight of that particular picture in the GFY book, he required much convincing before he truly believed the person pictured was a woman.
The good news for M-K O is that we're all pretty sure she's a girl. The bad news involves these shorts:
It's just a problem when your shortie-bloomers bunch up in the crotch arena like that. It makes us want to take you discreetly to the side and whisper that you've got some kind of SERIOUS full-coverage wedgie-situation taking over and that we're willing to hold your drink while you go take care of it. The thing is, of course, that both of these girls CAN look interesting and pretty and fun (witness M-K and A's work en toto right here), but when things go wrong, they can all too easily look like men, the homeless, or homeless men.
(5) ALICIA KEYS vs. (13) PHOEBE PRICE
This is a poetic little match-up we're privately referring to as The Battle of the Jumpsuits:
Despite their many other differences -- Alicia Keys is actually considered to have a marketable skill, for instance -- these two ladies share an unstoppable, deeply powerful love for clothing that takes makes the rest of us raise and brow and say, "That looks uncomfortable." Or, "Wow, those are dated." Or, in the case of P-Squared, a vigorous "Oh honey, NO." PS: One of us might have bought that candle for the other. We'll never tell.
Posted by H & J at 11:00 AM in Fug Madness | Permalink
Comments
Chloe has a lifetime of fug work but she has also been very ahead of the curve for many things. I had to vote for MK given that she also has tons of fug but no upside. Big-sunglasses, dumpster fashion and training-bra chic never worked and never will!
Posted by: Zeus | Mar 24, 2008 11:02:16 AM
Chloe is always crazy whereas MK sometimes wear one piece among 5 that I find cute, so Chloé wins! Alicia Keys is usually well dressed, but she has her moments while P squared just looks weird all the time, so she wins too!
Posted by: RaisonPassion | Mar 24, 2008 11:05:00 AM
Why are you making this SO HARD to choose?! :) I had to pick Chloe over Mary-Kate because of the lifetime of fug she's presented, but man, just looking at Mary-Kate's outfit right there almost took that vote away.
Posted by: Donna | Mar 24, 2008 11:05:44 AM
I think MKO may just be stuck in puberty, where no one's hygene is that great, one's hair is always greasy, no matter how many times it is washed, and personal style isn't totally developed. So, since there is hope (albeit miniscule), gotta go with my girl, Chloe, the queen of fug.
You know, I almost voted for Phoebe on the second match up, but I just cannot forgive the Grammy performance outfit that Alicia came up with. Changing into something that makes your ass look like a small moon is unforgiveable.
Posted by: Lorraine Bates | Mar 24, 2008 11:07:46 AM
This was the easiest one yet - Chloe & Phoebe are amazingly scary in their clothing choices. They're aliens. It's the only explanation.
Posted by: Jen | Mar 24, 2008 11:08:46 AM
I had to go with Phoebe. Alicia has managed to pull it together a few times and look pretty, but Phoebs wears designer castoff's and the "Paris" dress was unforgivable. And Mary Kate seems to have fun throwing on ill-fitting clothes and going with it. Chloe is too pretentious to make her "outfits" fun or whimsical. It's like she's saying, "If you can't comprehend what I'm saying with my clothing then you're stupid" which is never nice.
Posted by: Tana | Mar 24, 2008 11:09:55 AM
I had to break down and vote for Alicia because I know, deep down in my crusty little heart, that Phoebe Price would love nothing more than to be named the Queen of Fug. I just can't allow that to happen.
Posted by: Christine | Mar 24, 2008 11:10:48 AM
At first I read that description of Chloe as being "the Queen of Smirk." Which would have also been fitting. Unlike those too-tight, high-waisted shorts/pants she favors.
Posted by: Dinah | Mar 24, 2008 11:11:11 AM
Man, these are hard!! All are so very, very fugly! They'd find a way to McGuiver an ugly outfit if you and locked them in a room with just a sweater set and a well-fitted skirt. (Alicia would make it too tight; Phoebe would cut the ass out of the skirt; MK would throw draperies over top and smear her eyeliner; and Chloe would staple the baseboards to her head.)
Posted by: Cristina | Mar 24, 2008 11:11:16 AM
I feel that somehow Alicia has a large personal style vision in which her jumpsuits make sense (to her, of course), whereas Pheobe simply casts about in an ocean of fug for some drifting bit of garrish zebra/yellow cabbage roses cotton poly blend to wrap around herself. No contest, really. Even when lit by the comforting light of lotion glow.
Posted by: Sweetpea | Mar 24, 2008 11:11:35 AM
I'm not ready to part with either Chloe OR M-K yet! They both fancy themselves to be so fashionable...AND, like Paris, they feel the need to share their fug with the retail world. I can't decide if Chloe's awkward 80's-inspired fashion shoot trumps the way M-K tries to foist her wares on unsuspecting children. But since Chloe's photo spread looks entirely like pics from middle school that she should have burned, but instead released for general consumption, I'll have to give it to La Sevigny.
Posted by: Miss_Daemeanor | Mar 24, 2008 11:11:55 AM
I thought Chloe versus anyone would be easy to pick, but GOD. I can't chose between her or Mary Kate. It shouldn't be this difficult, but they both make fug a new language.
Posted by: empress | Mar 24, 2008 11:12:07 AM
That one was tough but Chloe fugs MK. I want to see Sevigny/Peldon go head to head.
Posted by: Jenn | Mar 24, 2008 11:12:49 AM
Had to give it to P-squared over Alicia Keys. Keys has a stylist so, at best, it's an employee issue. Our Phoebe's just got too much cash to burn.
Posted by: erin | Mar 24, 2008 11:12:56 AM
Chloe for the win... MK can be quite fug but her outfits have such an air of blindfolded closet grabbing... We all know Chloe studies and deliberates on each choice to get it exactly right... or rather, wrong...
Posted by: g3 | Mar 24, 2008 11:13:00 AM
Alicia Keys vs. P-squared is a tough one. On one hand, P-squared has displayed near-perfect bad taste, but on the other, Alicia Keys' clothes often look like they don't fit her right. Furthermore, she is an honest-to-goodness Entertainer and really ought to have people around her who know how to dress her. Ergo, Alicia Keys should win this particular throw-down. I see, however, that I am in the minority.
Sigh.
Posted by: TVDinner | Mar 24, 2008 11:14:16 AM
Both C.Sev and MK.O have some kind of jones for unfortunate shorts outfits. Yet Chloe actually DESIGNS and INFLICTS unfortunate outfits on the unsuspecting public. Plus she is, as Tana said, pretentious as all-get-out. Mary-Kate just looks a hot and smelly mess, but Chloe looks like she wants some kind of excruciatingly hip and edgy street cred.
Posted by: Ailurophile | Mar 24, 2008 11:15:40 AM
Decisions, decisions. I had to choose Chloe, because I feel that Mary kate is still too young and misguided. She may learn. I think it's too late for Chloe.
As for Alicia vs Phoebe, Alicia at least SOMETIMES looks cute. And I scoff at the "Actress, Phoebe Price" on the lotion candle poster. I think you actually have to make it past character names like "Walter's Wife" "Customer with Car" "Photographer" and "Designer" before you can actually tout yourself as an actress...
Posted by: sarah | Mar 24, 2008 11:15:46 AM
I had to vote Chloe because she has been around for a longer amount of time, and therefore has a larger body of fug work.
Phoebe always looks like her clothes have been fashioned from an ugly piece of art work. Alicia, on the other hand, has managed to pull herself together from time to time.
Posted by: Victoria | Mar 24, 2008 11:16:09 AM
MK generally has good hair and interesting jewelry, despite the outfits. Chloe's hair always looks smelly.
Posted by: emma | Mar 24, 2008 11:16:29 AM
It said it RIGHT THERE on the poster: "Phoebe Price, ACTRESS" Ha! So is THAT what she does? While Alicia makes unfortunate choices, Phoebe is 100% batshit (aka "guano") crazy.
Posted by: Miss_Daemeanor | Mar 24, 2008 11:17:37 AM
With M-K, you can at least sort of kind of maybe see what she was going for a lot of the time, she just buys it all in sizes twice as big as she needs and wears twice as many items at once as she should. But looking over the Chloe archives... wow. What do you even say to that?
Posted by: becca | Mar 24, 2008 11:18:03 AM
Ugh...Chloe versus MK. WHY? Chloe losing to ANYONE is just impossible. I cannot imagine MK being taken out so early...too early. Chloe is a hard battle to beat, but MK is very fugly and should have been given a chance to battle longer...
Posted by: Feds | Mar 24, 2008 11:19:57 AM
Olsen over Sevigny: VERY reluctant vote on my part. Sevigny holds and will forever hold a very special place in the Annals of Fug. Nothing can take her many accomplishments away from her! However, at least the argument can be convincingly made that the Sev showers once in a while. The same cannot be said for Olsen, who appears in photo after photo resembling a homeless raccoon.
Price over Keys: I guess. I have no idea who this Price is. However, there is nothing SPECIAL about Keys'particular brand of fug. Oh, it's fug, all right, but it's boring. Price's body of work has that special spark that puts her over the top -- for now, anyway.
Posted by: Kate | Mar 24, 2008 11:22:05 AM
I'm surprised how Chloe is beating out M-K. I've never seen MK look good. Sometimes, she looks not homeless and in fitted clothes, but not, good. Chloe, granted has a historically fugly legacy, but on more occasions than M-K, she emerges looking lovely, sane and stylish.
Alicia Keys v. P Squared - no contest. Price all the way!
Posted by: BEM | Mar 24, 2008 11:23:25 AM
definitely chloe over MK - MK's young enough to bounce back eventually. phoebe takes the cake over alicia - anyone who stands around "spontaneously" holding pictures of herself for the paps to snap has got to go far in this competition!
Posted by: elise | Mar 24, 2008 11:23:47 AM
Phoebe Price is unstoppable. The endless parade of peek-a-boo, see-through, underwear-flaunting garments makes me wonder where she buys the stuff. Many are guilty of this particular failing of taste from time to time, but she does it consistently.
Posted by: Claire | Mar 24, 2008 11:24:14 AM
Chole vs. MK is a seriously hard choice. However, I have to hand it to MK. They both look baggy, disheveled, wan, pissed off and bored in almost every single outfit, but MK also throws in unwashed, racoon-eyed, hunchbacked, stoned and starving to round things out very fugly. Chloe may look like she gets her clothes out of other people's trash, but at least she doesn't look like she scrounges unsuccessfully for food there too.
Phoebe wins over Alicia because at least Alicia can claim these fugtastic looks are just stage-dressing. PP, given the fact that she has never been IN anything or ON any stage that I've ever heard of, has no such excuse. The only excuse I can think of for PP is that perhaps red hair dye causes brain damage. Does it?
Posted by: Pandora | Mar 24, 2008 11:27:39 AM
I'm SO happy that you started to feature Phoebe Price in GFY. Apart from the fact that her clothes are hideous, her Peldonesque lack of any claim to celebrity status -seriously, what does she actually do? - means even Alicia's jumpsuits are no match for her. And Chloe's sneer got her my vote
Posted by: Kate | Mar 24, 2008 11:31:30 AM
God - this is sweet, sweet torture! Chloe is a fashion trainwreck 98% of the time, but always seems quite proud of her fashion "prow-less" so somehow I think she would consider winning this contest to be a huge compliment. Sadly, Mary-Kate seems to lose herself in her ginormous bag-lady ensembles because she simply has no idea what to do with herself and her millions post-Full-House-adorableness. She did totally rock the mag cover, tho--I think we'd all like to see more of the smiling/bathing/styling MKO and less of the little girl playing dress-up from the Goodwill bin. Alicia Keys is just hot mess every time I see her--if not her hair, it's some crazy, ill-fitting animal print that looks good on NO ONE in ANY DECADE. And who the @#?! is Phoebe Price? She should ask the Peldons if she can kick it with them, as she also has no known marketable skill but to strategically position herself in the most outrageously wretched attire simply for the photo op.
Posted by: Laurie | Mar 24, 2008 11:31:40 AM
I have a soft spot for anything boho and/or laughablt oversized (there are several tops in my closet which can contain my entire body WITHOUT STRETCHING THE MATERIAL), so this one's for the Evil Umlaut. She's all kinds of fug. Always.
Now, Ms Keys has such awsome talent that I often think "God, she's good" before my brain can fully react to whatever mess she's wearing (and, to do her justice, she sometimes has on something quite elegant). Ms Price can't pull together an outfit suitable for promoting a lotion-candle(?!?). 'Nuf said.
Posted by: Anastasia | Mar 24, 2008 11:31:43 AM
I'm SO happy that you started to feature Phoebe Price in GFY. Apart from the fact that her clothes are hideous, her Peldonesque lack of any claim to celebrity status -seriously, what does she actually do? - means even Alicia's jumpsuits are no match for her. And Chloe's sneer got her my vote
Posted by: Kate | Mar 24, 2008 11:31:57 AM
Chloe vs. MK...I actually had to take a snack break to ponder this one. In the end, I voted for Chloe. Although MK closely resembles a troll doll in features and dress, she has on rare occasion appeared in public looking semi-normal. A match-up between Chloe and Juliette Lewis would be awesome--both have devoted their lives to being creepy and fug--and I daresay Juliette could win it.
Posted by: Kristin | Mar 24, 2008 11:31:58 AM
I'm SO happy that you started to feature Phoebe Price in GFY. Apart from the fact that her clothes are hideous, her Peldonesque lack of any claim to celebrity status -seriously, what does she actually do? - means even Alicia's jumpsuits are no match for her. And Chloe's sneer got her my vote
Posted by: Kate | Mar 24, 2008 11:32:51 AM
Please, please tell us, Fug Girlz, that you will pull a Jeff Probst and bring back Chloe or MKO if we must part with one of them now! I can't imagine the Final Four without them both!
Posted by: Nan | Mar 24, 2008 11:36:19 AM
Oh you Fug Girls!!! You remind us to take in the complete body of a fuggers work then you slap us with Chloe's new line, causing me to jump back and utter things aloud that I am even ashamed to think about. How am I suppose to over come that?
Posted by: KatyMay | Mar 24, 2008 11:36:44 AM
Dressing badly is Phoebe Price's job, isn't it? I can't Fug her for a job well done. Besides, she clearly isn't right in the head.
Posted by: lane | Mar 24, 2008 11:36:49 AM
I had a hard time with MK & Chloe - but Chloe just looks mismatched, and mis-put-together most of the time. MK - while mostly ugly, at least is consistent in her style, and she owns it. I was at a loss with Pheobe & Alicia - ended up voting for Pheobe.
Posted by: maaarrry | Mar 24, 2008 11:38:06 AM
Chloe's new clothing line is what does it... it's one thing to dress yourself poorly, it's another thing to force a fug that heinous on the unsuspecting public.
Posted by: Hallie | Mar 24, 2008 11:38:15 AM
Chloe's new clothing line is what does it... it's one thing to dress yourself poorly, it's another thing to force a fug that heinous on the unsuspecting public.
Posted by: Hallie | Mar 24, 2008 11:39:52 AM
There is no way that Chloe is anything but the Queen of Fug. That archive of outfits is a body of work that can't be matched. And she manages to look like Grayson Perry despite being (i think) born female.
M-K is at least pretty cute under her hobo rags.
Posted by: Connie | Mar 24, 2008 11:40:22 AM
Chloe vs. MK was tough indeed. I really wasn't sure who my vote would go toward, until I looked at the Chloe archive again and realized that she is trying to SELL her FUG to OTHERS. That is just unacceptable.
Posted by: nicolelaroche | Mar 24, 2008 11:40:25 AM
Pheebs beats Keys for obvious reasons, therefore M-K has to take one for the team so The Sev can do bloody battle with Pheebs, because the latter two are the masters of their respective fug genres.
Posted by: liz | Mar 24, 2008 11:41:27 AM
I hate to vote for Phoebe, because I feel like she would love the attention. "someone, somewhere, is talking about me! THE WORLD LOVES ME. WATCH OUT FOR PHOEBBBBEEEE."
Posted by: jill | Mar 24, 2008 11:48:33 AM
I had to vote for Alicia Keyes because, dang it, she's a real star and should know better . . . or at least her stylist should know better.
Posted by: MCA | Mar 24, 2008 11:50:37 AM
i had to vote for MK because she wears fur, the ultimate fug. and i think the choice b/w the other two is obvious, phoebe. she looks much worse, much more regularly, than a.k.
Posted by: coconutsmigrate | Mar 24, 2008 11:51:00 AM
It all comes down to the hair for me: M-K always needs some help.
Posted by: Alice | Mar 24, 2008 11:51:15 AM
I have Chloe getting down to the Elite 8 in my bracket (where I believe she will finally be taken out by Bai Ling in an extremely close race), but I have to admit to being torn about voting for Chloe vs. MK. MK's homeless, heroin-addicted street urchin look drives me crazy. Why would you intentionally dress that way, especially if you had, say, a billion dollars to spend on clothes? Also that smirk both Olsen twins have creeps me out. (Thanks to Kristin for the troll doll comparison - they do look scarily like those creepy dolls, down to the flat, smooshed heads and sprouty hair.) But, ultimately, I chose Chloe to rebel against the fact that she is considered by some to be some sort of fashion maverick. Puh-lease.
Keys vs. Price was difficult but I took Price because her fug is so all-encompassing. Has she ever looked good?
Posted by: Kristin18 | Mar 24, 2008 11:53:37 AM
Chloe Vs. MK As I said before, if you've ever willingly played Vincent Gallo's skinflute, you're a skanky whore. Plus, let's be honest here, Chloe is not a very attractive/pretty/beautiful person. Way, way WAY too much horseface going on.
Keys Vs.Price Meh, in the end I voted for Price just 'cause.
Posted by: Ben | Mar 24, 2008 11:55:39 AM
I love Chloe, but she really is the classic FUG. And there's no way Alicia even comes close to Phoebe.
Posted by: liz | Mar 24, 2008 11:56:18 AM
So so so hard to pick! Mary-Kate looks like a poorly dressed doll, maybe if someone fed her she would look more like a real person? And Chloe's choices are just so out there I have to shake my head; the Prairie outfits on BL are often a much better choice.
At least I found it easier to choose in the other match-up. Phoebe Price's body of work taken as a totality really sealed the deal for her this time.
Posted by: Jennifer | Mar 24, 2008 11:57:34 AM
Wait -- Chloe Sevigny ISN'T a man???
Posted by: Amelia | Mar 24, 2008 11:59:15 AM
The Fug Girls are right on with Phoebe--her fug is consistent, and she has no talent whatsoever to counteract it.
And Mary-Kate has had some bad outfits in her day, but at least her clothing line(s) make sense. Chloe's clothing line makes sense if you're best friends with Blossom Russo or Kelly Bundy.
Posted by: gw | Mar 24, 2008 12:00:07 PM
Phoebe doesn't have the resources that Alicia does. Plus contributing to P's fame-chasing would make me feel icky. Alicia, you are my fug princess.
Posted by: lisas | Mar 24, 2008 12:02:21 PM
Chloe had to be chosen. Anyone who would put leopard print leggings underneath a windowpane pencil skirt is Not Of This Earth. The Olsen twins have simply become a cottage industry in looking like outtakes from Interview With the Vampire. When it came to Phoebe vs. Alicia -- a very difficult choice, but, in the end ... The Price Was Right.
Posted by: SidheDevil | Mar 24, 2008 12:05:12 PM
After my real march madness bracket fell to shreds this weekend, I will REALLY be disappointed if Chloe doesn't make it to the next round. She's my pick to win the whole thing!
Posted by: Susan | Mar 24, 2008 12:06:11 PM
Chloe wins for those white sunglasses alone. GOD.
Posted by: Catherine | Mar 24, 2008 12:08:04 PM
phoebe price might take this whole thing. she's fugalicious.
Posted by: sophia | Mar 24, 2008 12:10:21 PM
Sweet Jeebus. Every time I see Chloe, I can't help it, I think she looks like a really bad tranny. The clothes just fuel the fug.
Posted by: gena | Mar 24, 2008 12:10:30 PM
I'm REALLY looking forward to the day when the stripper shoes go back into the stripclubs and are not seen on the red carpet (or in the real world).
Posted by: Joe | Mar 24, 2008 12:11:58 PM
The Sev is taking this one all the way. There's something about MK's 80-yr-old-hobo-meets-Russian mafia-'ho that occasionally - okay, once? twice - has come together. In that, when she cleans up, tightens up, takes off a few layers, her overall look when taken to its logical (rather than craaaazy) conclusion can be, well, feasible somehow. Once or twice. Her fug arises from her lack of ability to express her look coherently. Sevigny though, is never feasible. Her fug is calculating, smug, and when taken to its logical conclusion, is the same as its crazy conclusion - ie. untranslatable into the physical world. She WILL Take the Crown!
Posted by: zorazero | Mar 24, 2008 12:16:36 PM
Chloe and MKO are an even match-up in my book; but Sevigny takes the fug crown on the technicality of probably having worn one or many of those atrocious get-ups while sporting fug accessory, Mr.Brown Bunny.
Posted by: fugdragon | Mar 24, 2008 12:17:22 PM
I had to vote for mk because, although chloe's outfits are horrendous as a whole, at least there are individual items that i would consider wearing. with mk, it's all hideous and quite frightening.
Posted by: marshano | Mar 24, 2008 12:22:20 PM
No-brainer in both cases. La Sev wins on the (de)merits of her sullen, self-impressed attitude alone.
And please. P-squared has nothing going for her BUT the fug. Please, please...don't take that away from her.
Posted by: drdan | Mar 24, 2008 12:22:48 PM
wow, chloe vs mary-kate is actually pretty hard. But I have to give it to Chloe. She's old enough to know better, and she's not the celebrity victim of a woman named Zoe.
Also, the things chloe wants to sell us? No. Nonono. No.
Another easy one for Phoebe. She's awesome in her awfulness.
Posted by: Courtney | Mar 24, 2008 12:23:03 PM
C. Sev always has the look of "yeah, I am fug, wanna make something of it bitches?" She is so bold in her fug that she is trying to spread it throughout the world. We must be diligent and stop the spread of said fug. There are many very stupid, unsuspecting chicks out there with cash to burn that will think "yeah, I have been looking everywhere for a high-waisted, calf length plaid skirt that I can wear over my leopard leggings." The threat is real people!
PP's life motto is "I fug, therefore I am" because what does she actual do in life except throw on some crazy duds and stand on any color carpet with promotional posters in the background?
Posted by: Tara | Mar 24, 2008 12:24:42 PM
that chloe link is my all time favorite fug EVER. EVER. EVER.
Posted by: D | Mar 24, 2008 12:27:47 PM
Ooh, if we're not careful, PP could take the whole thing! If/when she goes up against la Peldon, I honestly couldn't tell you who I'd vote for. Could there be two Queens of Fug the first year?
Posted by: Meg | Mar 24, 2008 12:29:59 PM
"Chloe wins for those white sunglasses alone. GOD."
My cousin was trying on some in a similar shape in the Nordstrom BP department on Saturday. It was all I could do to not scream, "damn you, Sevigny!" If she makes those somehow "fashionable," I will known that the entire world has gone to the fugs.
Posted by: Kristin18 | Mar 24, 2008 12:30:48 PM
MKO nearly took my vote based on the "strength" of the diaper jumpsuit alone, but again, variety carried my vote. She always looks like a incontient derelict whereas one never knows was CS will look like or what she will be doing to some poor accessory.
PP has to carry the day - her outfits are just insane.
Posted by: SheRa | Mar 24, 2008 12:31:39 PM
Oh geez. you had to put Chloe against MKO? are you kidding? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE? This is going to destroy my whole day, just figuring who is the most fugworthy!
I guess I'll just have to close my eyes and click.
Posted by: Kristan C. | Mar 24, 2008 12:32:22 PM
I think Phoebe Price is gonna take it all. The florescent underdog. I think that maybe that is why she dresses so badly. She wants her fug to reign supreme. I am rooting for her now. Something painfully fabulous about all her fug. If she wins, you will be emailed a pap photo of her looking at herself being crowned Supreme Fugger on this site. Ahhh what a media dahling!
Posted by: Heather | Mar 24, 2008 12:52:03 PM
In light of the fact that I think MK looks adorable 80% of the time, I can understand why people might not take this next comment too seriously, but hear me out. Phoebe Price wears ugly clothes to get attention. It's a gimmick, but who knows if she actually LIKES them. My guess is not. But Alicia Keys wears these awful things because, ostensibly, she doesn't know any better. You feel me? That's a way worse fug. This fabulous game (thanks for it, Heather and Jessica!) is making me realize that I thinmk the worst sartorial crime is to make an amzing body look bad. Alicia Keys does not rock her curves. She suffocates them. She tortures them. Sometimes her thighs look so bound I think there probably isn't any blood flow getting to them! Then my eyes tear up and I pick imaginary frontal wedgies.
Posted by: Emily | Mar 24, 2008 12:52:43 PM
MKO is still has a special place in my heart but chloe reigns supreme for me. also, PP got an easy vote from me on this one.
(ps - i LOVE march fugness, to let you know again.)
Posted by: nikkol | Mar 24, 2008 12:54:33 PM
Oh, people, please don't reward the blatant famewhoring via Fug that is Phoebe. It's just so calculated and contrived.
Posted by: Ryan with a capital "R" | Mar 24, 2008 12:56:06 PM
Chloe should be declared champion now based solely on one shot: that of her and creepy Vince Gallo (the guy she gives a live-action hummer to on screen for his unwatchable film Brown Bunny) at some outdoorsy event. She's wearing cutoffs that give her a bull knuckle and white Ray Bans. It's always the same with her... her outfit just has to wink at you and say "look... aren't I oh-so-clever and postmodern." And that collection? What does one say to that? Worst of all was the bathingsuit thingy and her with that pose that's trying to recall Esther Williams. Is she Punking us all? Is it a joke possibly?
Posted by: Liz | Mar 24, 2008 1:01:07 PM
Liz, aren't jokes supposed to be funny?
Posted by: drdan | Mar 24, 2008 1:04:35 PM
Chloe looks like that furry taste you wake up with the morning after a late, waterless night.
Posted by: Z | Mar 24, 2008 1:07:10 PM
Everything I would say about this round has already been said, but I had to give a shout out to Cristina for the McGuyver scenario, I laughted so hard at that mental image that I was crying, and a coworker called me from another office to find out what was so funny.
Posted by: pinkcheese | Mar 24, 2008 1:12:39 PM
Dudes, that picture of Chloe in that white outfit made my distaste of her rise SUPER exponentially. Like, if I saw someone wearing that crap in an airport, I'd roll my eyes AS HIGH AS THEY CAN GO and snort like a horse and try SUPER hard to RESTRAIN myself from bellowing out "WTF, you DUMB, BLIND DILLWEED?!"
UGHGHHGGHHG. Personally, I struggled with this one. M-K is pretty awful, too, but she has a couple of things going for her: she CAN clean up nicely -- that grungy little goblin sort of polishes up into a pretty little sprite once you take away the Cruella fur and the Sophia Loren glasses.
Alicia is awful. The jumpsuit is awful. I ALMOST voted for her, but I want my girls Pheebs to take on some new challenges.
Posted by: Ernestine | Mar 24, 2008 1:13:25 PM
I can forgive a lot of the fug Alicia wears, simply because it's stage wear, and it's supposed to look costumey/slightly retarded. Phoebe Price on the other hand...batshit crazy fug.
Posted by: Andrew | Mar 24, 2008 1:18:50 PM
MK over Chloe-This may be far from the truth but I like to believe that Chloe smirks because she knows what she is wearing is completely fug and secretly laughs with her friends that Vogue and other such publications call her a fashion icon. The photo shoot for her clothing line is just WAY-HAY-HAY too much for me to ever believe that she actually buys into it. I don't even know what to say about MK...
Phoebe over Alicia-Phoebe and her grossly overworked cheeks are fuglier than anything she has ever worn, and that is saying a lot. I do hope Alicia finds a better stylist though. She at least, is hot and deserves more from her clothing. Phoebe is a lost cause, least with those cheeks anyway.
Posted by: Sophia Patrillo | Mar 24, 2008 1:21:25 PM
It's shocking to me that Phoebe Price looks better in any random picture that shows up on this site than she does in the airbrushed publicity photos for LotionGlow. She's like the poor and myopic man's Amy Adams. I like her freckles, though.
Posted by: cass | Mar 24, 2008 1:23:05 PM
I saw something quite similar to P-Squared's jumpsuit on a tranny downtown a few weeks ago...and the tranny pulled it off MUCH better.
Posted by: Lindsay | Mar 24, 2008 1:24:11 PM
Thank you, thank you. The Chloe archives alone make this game the best. You ladies are simply brilliant. Never have I laughed so hard on a Monday. Fug madness 2008, even if Ms. Fug Chloe doesn't win it all, so, so, fun!
Posted by: vikki | Mar 24, 2008 1:24:38 PM
it's a hands down win for Chloe and Phoebe... although the other two have had their moments (many of them) they just couldn't compete. And Alicia's outfit honestly almost works...the top part fits too well and it's a nice color!
Posted by: eliza | Mar 24, 2008 1:29:07 PM
Chloe is definetly fug supreme not only is she full fug all the time, but she is extremely pretentious about fashion which makes her horrible taste all the funnier. And she is designing fug and selling that fug to others....MK just has a billion dollars and can do whatever she wants LOL
Gotta give this to Pheobe, though for somebody so popular, pretty and talented Alicia is shockingly bad at dressing herself...why can't she find help?
Posted by: lambman | Mar 24, 2008 1:30:55 PM
ok...these were no contest for me:
sevigny is fantastic on big love but the clothes aren't even bad in a "statement" kind of way. they're just insane. MKO *channels* thriftshop chic while sevigny *actually* went through the bins of a castoff store in kansas to form her new line. to me, MKO has that victoria beckham knack of being able to get away with suicide and still look completely fierce on some high fashion level.
alicia is talented and i think i can explain away the catsuit addiction to her love of soul music and the seventies vibe she sings with. phoebe is just some privileged trophy wife with no style and really big nostrils.
Posted by: theidlereceptionist | Mar 24, 2008 1:36:33 PM
Without Chloe, there would be no MK, so I had to give her my vote.
Posted by: Emma | Mar 24, 2008 1:37:20 PM
Chloe over MK because Chloe is muse to, wears, and now designs (shudder!), the fug consistently and smugly, while MK seems legitimately crazy, which is just sad. Tough choice though!!
And P squared over Alicia Keys for her untarnished record of fug (and the "look at me!!" desperation).
Posted by: jen | Mar 24, 2008 1:38:40 PM
Chloe gets my vote for not only pretending that she knows more about fashion than anyone else, but also trying to sell us her particularly nasty brand of fug.
Alicia is talented and beautiful. Sure, she makes some bad decisions, but I'm always thinking it's because her handlers don't get how to dress her figure. Phoebe is simply bizarre.
Posted by: whits | Mar 24, 2008 1:45:44 PM
Chloe - hands down! I don't care how often Vogue tries to tell me she's "fashion forward" - looking like shit on purpose isn't hot. The high-wasted camel-toe shorts! The jumper over a turtleneck! THE WHITE PLASTIC SUNGLASSES!!!! and don't forget her perm-phase - wtf was that? She IS the essence of fug.
My money on her for the win.
Posted by: lrc | Mar 24, 2008 1:58:19 PM
Phoebe gets the vote just for her recent proximity to Frederic Prinz von Anhalt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fr%C3%A9d%C3%A9ric_Prinz_von_Anhalt) who is quite possibly a bigger poseur than Phoebe.
Posted by: Moda di Magno | Mar 24, 2008 1:59:20 PM
Chole will be the first inductee in the Fug Hall of Fame (Shame?). Nuff' said.
Alicia has musical talent. Phoebe has attention whoring talent. Phoebe needs this and will scratch, claw, and fug her way to the top because she has nothing else going for her. No contest here.
Posted by: jen310 | Mar 24, 2008 2:03:56 PM
Surprisingly...Chloe actually looks put together and kind of cute here...I had to vote for MK.
Posted by: Kristen | Mar 24, 2008 2:13:42 PM
I had to vote for P-Squared because...just look at her! The deciding factor is that she assaults us with fug and what do we get in return? A good movie? A great album? No and no. What does this woman do anyway? She rocks the red hair though and that's always fabulous. Hopefully this will give Alicia the wakeup call she needs to burn all her jumpsuits. ALL OF THEM!
Chloe. My goodness. MK at least pulls herself together on occasion. I suppose after a good meal and yay for her. I'll blame the fug on any possible eating disorders as it messes with the mind. Chloe on the other hand has no reason that I know of to dress in the rejects of every clothing period known to man.
Posted by: Elisabetta | Mar 24, 2008 2:32:33 PM
I love Mary-Kate's little bloomer outfit and stripper shoes, I honestly do. She's so not fug I can hardly contain myself. more scarves! less hair brushing! I'm not being sarcastic.
Posted by: Maz | Mar 24, 2008 2:35:29 PM
MK gets off on the insanity defense, and anyway, Chloe persists in her fugishness with a determination I have to admit I admire, so she get my vote here.
I suspect like some others that Phoebe would like to win, so I hesitate to give her this vote, but Alicia's clothes aren't always as reliably horrifying as Phoebe's. So I'
ve gotta go with Pheebs.
Posted by: Elizabeth | Mar 24, 2008 2:35:38 PM
I feel fugging Phoebe Price is only encouraging her. We mustn't encourage it!
Posted by: Kelly | Mar 24, 2008 2:51:34 PM
Oh, honies, it's not nice to make fun of the mentally ill. But Chloe wins anyway.
Posted by: rb | Mar 24, 2008 2:59:47 PM
Why in the HOLY HELL does p-Squared keep getting invited to events where her pictures are going to be taken? Don't people know that we SUFFER???
Posted by: Kayla | Mar 24, 2008 3:06:09 PM
Come on, COME ON! Phoebe Price is a nobody. Alicia Keys is a somebody, and a very badly dressed somebody, at that! If she gets knocked out of the running at this point, we run the risk of letting someone like, indeed, Ms Price, WIN - and what would that do for humanity? I ask you. Think about that as you press those buttons.
Posted by: Roseyrosie | Mar 24, 2008 3:07:30 PM
DITTO. Phoebe Price CANNOT WIN.
Posted by: the fug hits the fan | Mar 24, 2008 3:08:48 PM
I actually had to pause and review before casting my vote for Chloe -- MKO is SUCH a strange little dark sprite -- but the fact that Chloe is now a DESIGNER for god's fuckin sake made me put her through. Now, will she meet PP in the next round????
Posted by: YankinTex | Mar 24, 2008 3:09:28 PM
Chloe always seems like she is trying to hurt everyone. On purpose.
Posted by: Genevieve | Mar 24, 2008 3:16:45 PM
Oh man, this was so hard to choose! In the end, I ended up voting for Mary-Kate simply because I have some risidual love left over for Chloe's stunning black Oscar dress from a few years back...the designer's name escapes me right now, but I'm sure you all know the one I'm talking about...
Posted by: Juliana | Mar 24, 2008 3:18:29 PM
Mmm, I really couldn't vote Phoebe over Ms. Keys. Phoebe is, as was remarked earlier, dressing like that just to garner attention. Alicia chooses those jumpsuits on a regular basis despite how hideous they are and the number of stylists she must trip over on a daily basis. Yet I still voted for Peldon over Lohan - despite Peldon pulling basically the same 'attention whore' fashion selection as Phoebe. It makes no sense but oh well.
Posted by: epimethia | Mar 24, 2008 3:27:43 PM
i picked MK over chloe, though it was a hard call. i just think chloe's deliberate fug is less atrocious than the anorexic homeless look MK sports. and while chloe CAN and sometimes does clean up really well (and look slike she bathes regularly), MK (and her sister) always seems like a dirty little girl playing dress up in her big sisters clothes even when she *tries* to polish up. seriously, i don't think i've seen either twin ever wear an outfit that fits them.
and keys over price- while phoebe's outfits are drag queen crazy, alicia just looks frumpy and boring when she doesn't look ridiculous. that's totally unacceptable from someone as young, pretty, and talented as her!
Posted by: butcherbaby | Mar 24, 2008 3:54:11 PM
I'm shocked. The Chloe v MK match up was surprisingly more of a challenge than I thought it would be.
That romper MK is wearing is definitely Fug. And nearly swayed my vote. But when it came down to it, Chloe just has a greater body of fug.
I'm still hoping for a Peldon v Sevigny showdown complete with every link you've got to aid in the voting.
Posted by: Kimberly | Mar 24, 2008 3:56:19 PM
I am a little in love with Phoebe price right now.
Posted by: cornflaxe81 | Mar 24, 2008 3:57:43 PM
PS- i think the photo featured here of chloes is fantastic and a great example of how good she can look! very classy in a 70s-faux-30s way. MK would wear that same outfit three sizes too big, with humongous sunglassess, greasy hair, and swathed in scarves and overwhelming accessories. i rest my case.
Posted by: butcherbaby | Mar 24, 2008 4:00:49 PM
Hands-down Chloe, hands-down Phoebe. It seems Chloe actually thinks she's a style icon, which is instant fug when one's taste is terrible, and Phoebe - well, fugitude appears to be her only recognizable talent, so I'll acknowledge it.
Posted by: Sophie | Mar 24, 2008 4:03:53 PM
There is no God and life has lost its meaning if Chloe does not get to face off against Bai. As Phoebe Price, I hate her with the heat of 1000 suns, so I think she's in it to win it.
Posted by: Jadeblueafterglow | Mar 24, 2008 4:08:12 PM
I voted for Alicia because theoretically she has people who can help her get dressed beautifully, and yet she still shows up in jump suits and things that make her thighs look much bigger than they are.
But, it really doesn't matter because Sevigny is unstoppable.
Posted by: Susan | Mar 24, 2008 4:12:47 PM
Watch out, Chicken Cutlets! Chloe Sevigny is coming for YOU.
Posted by: mitzy247 | Mar 24, 2008 4:28:15 PM
I love the 'McGuiver an ugly outfit' comment! It is so, so true!
Posted by: Rebecca | Mar 24, 2008 4:44:54 PM
Man I love the way both Chloe & Mary Kate dress, I can't vote for either off them, they are both fantastically stylish women...
Posted by: Samphire | Mar 24, 2008 5:28:36 PM
It is so, SO difficult to make these decisions.... especially when there's a lifetime of bad apparel choices to be reviewed. Therefore, I respectfully suggest the tournament organizers consider the players' performance during the past year ONLY in Fug Madness 2009. It's a valid question: after all, some of the 2008 entrants have perhaps had an unfair advantage over their opponents based on a longer lifetime's body of work. Just a thought, :-)
Posted by: Valeria | Mar 24, 2008 5:34:50 PM
Mary Kate or Chloe? Hmmmmmm. Well, if I had more money than GOD I would hope that I didn't spend such a huge portion of it on...well, displaying my dubious fashion taste for tacky winsomeness. The hair, the knees, the accessories that she has paid huge amounts of cash for! Yikes! Chloe has a real fug commitment, it's true, but MKO has no excuse. Not even Disney.
Posted by: G-Ex | Mar 24, 2008 5:41:05 PM
Wow, this is getting a lot harder. I was all ready to vote Chloe, but the bloomers . . . my God, the bloomers . . . . .
Posted by: Ceili | Mar 24, 2008 5:47:02 PM
Chloe might have permanent bitch-face, but she does not terrify me NEARLY as much as M-K. Like, Chloe will smirk at you, but she won't lie in wait under your bed so she can SUCK YOUR BLOOD like that M-K critter will.
Look in Chloe's eyes. She has the look of a bitchy-yet-sane person. M-K has the look of a traumatized animal.
Posted by: oedipa | Mar 24, 2008 6:06:10 PM
I don't think Phoebe should win because she makes a career of being fug. She does it for the attention, not because she thinks she looks good.
Posted by: pamela | Mar 24, 2008 6:36:14 PM
Chloe Sevigny is a juggernaut. She's Fugzilla. She's the Fug that Ate Vincent Gallo. She's Ilsa, She-Fug of the SS. She's Plan Fug from Outer Space. She's the Colossus at Fug.
She cannot be beaten. No little hobo/waiflette in diapers (literally!) can possibly derail the unstoppable, eyeball searing, gag reflex inducing, hot tranny mess that is ChloSev.
Anyone who voted for poor, sad MKO over sado-haute ChloSev will have to watch The Brown Bunny on endless repeat... in Hell!
Posted by: Maceo Little | Mar 24, 2008 6:39:49 PM
p2 by a long shot, even if you are just looking at the two jumpsuit photos...seriously. also, has she had cheek implants? there is something very strange about her face.
Posted by: Rosie | Mar 24, 2008 6:50:21 PM
OK, so Chloe's name is practically synonymous with fug. But on the other hand, as awful as all of her fashion choices seem to be in the moment, if you revisit them a few years later, you will notice that a lot of what she's wearing is just a slightly more extreme version of something that was on its way into vogue. Look, for instance, at the linked Chloe photo, from a couple years ago. OK, so she's got those terrible white-framed 80's sunglasses. Which later went on to grace the streets of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, all last summer. Then you have the horrible shapless frumpy minidress. Go flip through the racks at any big city boutique these days and what do you see? Shapeless minidresses - not as vile as that one, I'll grant, but definitely in the same genre. Now move to the feet. Heeled oxfords. Well, whaddya know... I've been seeing heeled oxfords in EVERY fashion magazine and shop window all winter, and have started to see people wearing them on the streets of New York.
I'm also half convinced that Chloe personally ushered in the 80's retro look, the skinny jean, the return of the legging, and even the formal short. I'm also not entirely sure she wasn't implicated somehow in the Ugg fiasco.
You may not like what Chloe is wearing, but she definitely has a huge impact on the direction of popular fashion. In her own completely ridiculous way.
Posted by: the opoponax | Mar 24, 2008 7:05:50 PM
Chloe for the first, obvs. I wouldn't be surprised if she took the whole tournament--she is my personal definition of fug, if only for that high-waisted nonsense she insists on wearing. I went with Alicia in the second, mainly because P2, while awful, has no other claim to fame that I can suss out. Alicia doesn't have to dress that way, girl can sing. Phoebe, that's all she has, so perhaps the fug is more of a self-preservation move to keep herself in the public eye (the better to sell candles, I guess). Alicia should know better and doesn't need the jumpsuits, which makes her more fug in my opinion.
Posted by: Kim | Mar 24, 2008 7:13:53 PM
I wanted to give it to the little white jumper, but ye old white sunglasses had ta win. Phoebe vs. Alicia was tough! I know I should give it to Phoebe, but I hate the jumpsuits WAY TOO MUCH. Phoebe-meh. Tryin' to sell herself to the masses, comes off cheap like a used car salesman. Alicia has talent and needs to learn how to dress!!!!
Posted by: Becca | Mar 24, 2008 7:30:03 PM
did anyone else notice, in the photo of alicia keys onstage, the girl behind her to the right has a hand shadow on her groin area, as if the woman just out of the right edge of the picture wanted to help spare her the humiliation of an egregious phantom powlterwang live and in front of thousands?? shame her arms aren't just a leeetle longer.
Posted by: elisabeth | Mar 24, 2008 7:43:58 PM
Oh, way way too easy.
Chloe's body of fug shits all over the Olsen body of fug. No contest.
Phoebe Price is also more consistently fug than Alicia Keys. But Keys should count herself lucky it was PP she came up against in this round, because if it had been anyone else Keys probably would have come out the fugliest.
Posted by: eat my shorts | Mar 24, 2008 8:14:47 PM
Remember way back when Jay McInerney intro'd Chloe in the NYer as the new "It" Girl? I started paying attention to her fashion choices then, and a lot of them were good. Wha' happen'd? Between the white Mr. Magoos and the endless parade of tequila shot combos, there is a body of work which reigns Ms. Sevigny supreme, although I'm not sure I'll ever recover from the diaper with the hooker shoes M-K sported...speechless....
Posted by: Cecily | Mar 24, 2008 8:52:17 PM
Don't get me started on Phoebe...
Posted by: Cecily | Mar 24, 2008 8:53:03 PM
Chloe's outfits are rarely flattering but they perfectly encapsulate the indie girl weirdo style. MK just looks ridiculous.
Posted by: Sarah | Mar 24, 2008 9:08:24 PM
I COULDN'T VOTE!
Keys or Price, Price or Keys?!
I couldn't decide, and animal print is usually my tie-breaker! And then you torture me with well-fitted but abstract-smear animal print versus iron-thigh clean retro animal print!?
You MONSTERS!
I'm going to go cry in my room and listen to Depeche Mode now. :(
Posted by: Brammi | Mar 24, 2008 9:53:04 PM
How disturbing is that pic of MK with Stavors Niarchos?? My first reaction was "Why is his baby sister holding a cigarette?", it looks like he's walking her around the neighborhood truck-o-treating and really she looks scary!!
Posted by: lady_wraith | Mar 24, 2008 10:38:32 PM
Pheobe Price just looks way too pleased with herself.
That one photo -the one that you should looka t if you look at any- of Chloe Sevigny is probably THE funniest combination i have seen on this site! and the commentary!!! oh god. I was loling like a child...
When it comes down to it, I think I predict Bai and Chloe in the final, but I feel like it will be hard to call. Bai and Chloe -WHO WILL IT BE? I guess I'd say Chloe, just because she seems to think her choices are So Serious.
love gofugyourself thanks Jessica and Heather.
Posted by: Will | Mar 24, 2008 10:50:53 PM
Phoebe Price clearly beats just about all comers fugwise but I suspect she'd LOVE to win this and I'd hate to be a party to that. Besides MKO should be able to afford to pay people to spank her for attempting to leave the house dressed as she does.
Posted by: Djinn | Mar 25, 2008 2:24:43 AM
Phoebe Price clearly beats just about all comers fugwise but I suspect she'd LOVE to win this and I'd hate to be a party to that. Besides MKO should be able to afford to pay people to spank her for attempting to leave the house dressed as she does.
Posted by: Djinn | Mar 25, 2008 2:28:01 AM
Oh dear, Chloe and MK are as bad as each other. Both trying to pull off their own sense of style and both end up looking like the dog's breakfast. So hard to choose between them.
Oh and just as hard a choice between HBC and Beyonce who seem to revel in fugging it up. Beyonce's over exposure of thigh, boob and all that is shiny may just have pushed me over the line this time.
Posted by: Stacey | Mar 25, 2008 3:17:21 AM
Look, Phoebe Price is hideous, but Alicia Keys has that really awfyl poulterwang thing going on. And botht he Olsens have looked like witches at times (okay, most of the time) but Chloe Sevigny is just... fug.
Posted by: Livia | Mar 25, 2008 3:35:50 AM
That was HARD! Chloe vs. MK! But, Chloe with the permed hair and the lacy toilet-roll cover sheath swung it completely. Jesus.
Posted by: Antonia | Mar 25, 2008 3:39:40 AM
We don't get much Phoebe in the UK so it had to be her...having said that I'd have voted for Alicia too, but she seems (usually) to have a reason to dress like she does.
And further to a comment by Victoria, I agree with the Chloe Sevigny comment...peeeeyoooooo!!!
Posted by: hazellove | Mar 25, 2008 4:32:35 AM
Chloe and Mary-Kate both fug their clothes pretty regularly... but Chloe at least does her hair most of the time, and wears more tolerable makeup. MK can't be arsed for effort on eiher.
Phoebe vs. Alicia is a lot harder, but again I'm distracted by the hair, specifically Alicia's neon orange hair.
Posted by: Rebecca | Mar 25, 2008 6:14:09 AM
Assuming that "Dumpster Chic" is for those on a tight budget but inclined towards extreme expressions of individuality, it's doubtful that its adherents would wear something "designed" by a celebrity, or pay top dollar for a look put together by Wall Street marketing execs looking a decade too late to cash in on Tokyo "street" fashion as channeled through a rural Ohio transgendered teen hooker working the Porta-Potty circuit.
Posted by: Baroness Blossom Von Gutenkatzen | Mar 25, 2008 6:26:26 AM
You KNOW when a "star" KNOWS what they are wearing doesn't work........they stand pidgeon-toed, coy, with a come-hither look that also says "stay AWAY....."; There is something wrong with the size of Phoebe's head...PP for the win.......
Posted by: Lisa | Mar 25, 2008 7:28:37 AM
Oh dang, all these years I've been looking at that little version of Chlo-Umlaut-E & WHITE GLASSES in the upper-right corner of the GFY banner, and you know who I thought it was? Seriously? David Lee Roth. This whole time.
So you know who gets my vote.
Posted by: crescentaluna | Mar 25, 2008 7:52:39 AM
I'll admit it, I can't resist MK's particular brand of crazy. It's just, she seems like she truly ENJOYS rummaging around in dumpsters and jumble sales.
And she tends to look kind of earnest(if coked out)in her pictures, like "I BELIEVE in this outfit". That picture of her tottering on her little spindle legs out of those bloomers says it all. She just looks proud, dammit. And never ugly. Fugly yes, homeless yes. But not ugly. Whereas Chloe...So Chloe gets my vote.
Posted by: ally | Mar 25, 2008 8:47:09 AM
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