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March 25, 2008
Fug Madness 2008: Cher, Round Two, Continued
(3) KEIRA KNIGHTLEY vs. (11) JULIETTE LEWIS
You guys, Juliette is REALLY EXCITED to have made it this far.
Give her an H (for the hideous headband)! Give her a B (for the blue bag she's wearing)! Give her a T (for thinking to wear tights with that). What does that spell? HBT! Which, when you try and pronounce it, sounds as fugly as her outfit. But I don't know why she always has to look so cranky. The clothes didn't force themselves on her. She might want to start considering that as an excuse, though -- it's about all that justifies some of her rocker costumes.
Actually, she'd probably love borrowing this little number from Keira for one of her performances:
That is a mess, right there. It's like she went to a wedding shower where they made toilet-paper wedding gowns, then bolted in a huff when they ran out of Angel Soft. Or maybe someone told her she'd be standing behind a very tall hedge at this party, so she only bothered with one-fifth of an outfit. Indeed, she seems rather fixated on using small portions of fabric, like she's some kind of cloth conservationist, although to be honest she doesn't always do very well with loads of layers either, nor with lots of fussy bits and pieces.
Basically, the crime here is that she's Keira f'ing Knightley, and she should be able to do SO MUCH BETTER, if she would just even ACT like she gives a rat's ass. But can her brand of big fame yet questionable taste stave off the challenge of Juliette's lesser-known face but potent fugosity?
(2) SHARON STONE vs. (7) SCARLETT JOHANSSON
Have you ever wondered what Sharon Stone would look like if she put herself in a Golden Girls spinoff as Blanche Deveraux's cousin in Savannah? Well, wonder no more, friends.
I'm not sure what's going on with her hair, but I am fairly certain it was dropped onto her head from a great height. Why she's in her geriatric finest, I can't say, but it's possible just needed a break from looking like she'd recently been disemboweled, and the many portions of her wardrobe filed under "petting zoo" were all either at the dry cleaner or the vet.
Sharon is up against someone who I greatly hope will grow up into an insane diva much like La Stone herself. Why? Well, I fear the Art of Divadom is a dying one -- it's not just about asking for gardenias in your toilet bowl, or to have your name spelled out in green M&Ms on the floor of every dressing room you inhabit; rather, you have to be a rare cocktail of screamingly grandiose, perfectly glamorous, admirably philanthropic, and hopelessly prone to spouting lots and lots and LOTS of crazy talk.
ScarJo is certainly on her way. She's got the terrible grandiosity thing nailed down, at least.
And, it was SHEER crazy talk when she first turned to her assistant and said, "Dude, this looks awesome!" As much as I cherish those shoes, I cannot endorse any kind of outfit that taints them by practically screaming, "Oh yeah? Well look who they've got their Hanes on NOW!" I mean, formal shorts and a tank top underneath a halter that Wet Seal would put on clearance for under $5? No, Scarlett. NO. Step away.
But is it enough to dethrone Ms. Stone?
Posted by H & J at 09:01 AM in Fug Madness | Permalink
Comments
Had to vote for the reliable freaks in this one.. It's Lewis & Stone all the way!!
Posted by: becky | Mar 25, 2008 9:07:57 AM
Kiera Knightly dresses as though her life is one big, unending audition for Ophelia in a road show of "You Can't Make a Hamlet Without Breaking Some Legs". Sharon Stone is this generation's answer to Gloria Desmond. She is Opera Fug at its finest.
Posted by: SidheDevil | Mar 25, 2008 9:08:33 AM
I was honestly torn between voting for the flat out insanity that is Juliette Lewis or the lack of trying that is Keira. Crazy finally won.
And Sharon is too divalicious to lose. That and the murder sheath literally turns my stomach. I figure when you're wearing an outfit that makes me nauseous you're doing something right (or wrong).
Posted by: Heather | Mar 25, 2008 9:09:45 AM
Out of curiosity... why isn't Lil Kim in this tournament?
Posted by: Gecko | Mar 25, 2008 9:12:31 AM
I am going to start voting with my head instead of my heart for now on. It's getting to be serious now and the choices are so much harder!! Juliette may give Peldon a run for her money!
Hey Fug Girls...I bought your book last night and it's awesome!
Posted by: kooly | Mar 25, 2008 9:14:00 AM
Keira tries. I voted for Lewis because at least Keira succeeds at times.
Posted by: Jael | Mar 25, 2008 9:14:52 AM
Have to agree with Heather with the Sharon Stone thing; however, I voted Knightly because whenever the opportunitiy arises to expose her long, malnourished midsection, she runs with it. And that, to me, is fug.
Posted by: Pia | Mar 25, 2008 9:15:37 AM
Why is Sharon winning?!! Scarjo can't even figure out what her size is!
Posted by: Cristina | Mar 25, 2008 9:15:42 AM
I can't wait for the Sharon v. Juliette match-up. Juliette is simply out of her mind. And I can just see Sharon in another 20 years as one of those old ladies who goes everywhere with a miniature poodle, collects cooky hats, and wears bright lipstick all around her mouth but not quite on the lips.
Posted by: O. | Mar 25, 2008 9:16:17 AM
Sure, Keira annoys me with her twee outfits made out of remnants and her bony, pinched...well, everything. However, there's something about Juliette... How can you not secretly admire a woman that looks like something normally found on the bottom of one's shoe, but still hooked Brad Pitt? Rock on, Juliette!
Posted by: Kristin | Mar 25, 2008 9:16:45 AM
Ok ok, so Juliette Lewis' outfits look crazy, and I think that's because She is Crazy! But Keira should be winning the Fug award on this one because she tries to pass herself off as fashionable and well-dressed. Juliette has only succumbed to her own craziness while Keira should know better, so I really had to vote for her as the fuggiest.
Posted by: Lel | Mar 25, 2008 9:16:46 AM
Got to admit, at least KK is consistent, with the boob bandages and all. So it goes to Juliette, who is a pure hot mess.
On the other hand, you have to admit that SS flaunts her own consistent vision - demented, slit, over-the top, duvet-dragging vision. And in this case that means it goes to Sharon, 'cause Scarlett just doesn't know how to dress.
Posted by: your neighborhood librarian | Mar 25, 2008 9:18:04 AM
Its got to be Kiera folks -- managing to be so beautiful and look so bad has to count for something! Not to mention that Juliette is clearly deranged -- she can plead the insanity defense for her fug, where Kiera just has no such excuse!
Posted by: Emily | Mar 25, 2008 9:18:52 AM
Aw, Kooly, thanks! That's so nice! We're so happy you like it.
As for why Lil' Kim isn't in here... well, there were plenty of people who just didn't occur to us at the time we were making the brackets. We left off Nicole Richie, for instance, because she'd been pregnant and we felt like that was keeping her from presenting her normal style for the past six months, so we'll reconsider her next time.
But much like Courtney Peldon, we felt like Lil' Kim's fugs were sort of too outdated (Peldon got a courtesy seeding... and look how THAT turned out for her). Since Kim got out of prison in 06, if I remember the date right, she's been really low-key (barely out in public) and really not as outrageous as she used to be. So we just sorta passed her by.
Posted by: Heather | Mar 25, 2008 9:19:07 AM
Juliette Lewis is the first to make me laugh out loud. by that measure alone I had to vote her over KK. She's gonna go far... at least off the deep end.
I was just thinking about Lil Kim too. She could have knocked most of these gals out of the tourney, and maybe gone all the way.
Posted by: Elaine | Mar 25, 2008 9:20:16 AM
These were much harder, and I had to vote against the crowd. Keira is supposed to be glamorous, and she's a mess. Juliette is a wackjob, and she dresses like one. So Kiera wins the fug!
Same with Sharon and Scarlett. Sharon is a wacky, lady-parts flashing nutjob, and God love her. But Scarlett is supposed to be an ingenue/serous actress, and she dresses like she's four and can't get away from the costume trunk in her mother's attic. Scarlet brings fug to new, breast crushing levels!
Posted by: Emperor Norton | Mar 25, 2008 9:22:47 AM
I dunno about this ScarJo vs Stone thing, people.
I mean, on the one hand, Stone sometimes scores BIG. ScarJo? Nah. She always looks ridiculous.
Stone has earned the right to look fugalicious now and then.
Granted, the murder sheath was a bit over the top, even by her standards.
J. Lew vs. KK? No competition. Sure KK needs a sammich and a better wardrobe, but J. Lew makes me CRINGE.
Why does that girl always look like her hair is unwashed?
Posted by: Meh_Whatever | Mar 25, 2008 9:22:59 AM
Juliette Lewis is a nightmare. Stone v. Johansson was tougher for me - and, ultimately, I had to recast my vote. That final look of ScarJo's is HILARIOUS! She honestly looks like a Deal or No Deal girl on "Salute to the U.S. Open" night.
Posted by: Mike | Mar 25, 2008 9:23:16 AM
Oh, HONESTLY. Why isn't Kiera winning this? True, Juliette does have a way with fug, but it's all of the ho-hum, 'Yes,IdidsneakthisoutofMarilynManson'scloset SO THERE' variety. It's all the same fug, only in different colors... and... um... pom poms.
Plus, she's not quite sure whether her clothing choices are actually hot, or just really, really brazen of herself (which are quite possibly one and the same). Also, I'm not sure if she can help it, because I have a feeling that's pretty much as good as it gets.
Kiera, on the other hand, thinks she looks great. It's a much worse fug when someone gorgeous can make herself look terrible with such regularity. Granted, she has been known to look truly lovely, but what with the truly broad scope of Kiera's ability to fug an outfit from every genre and the clavicle-itis that seems to be an epidemic (remember Nicole Richie pre-that baby who will actually have to learn to WRITE that name eventually?).... I've got to give it to Kiera. She's just got such a broad body of work to choose from. Fugly dress? check. Fugly tops? check. Fugly belted pillowcase thingy? check.
Besides. Who wears plain toilet paper out? WHO? Yes, that's right. Kiera Knightly.
At least Juliette Lewis would color it first.
Posted by: Naomi | Mar 25, 2008 9:25:48 AM
Juliette wins over Keira simply because Keira has succeeded at least some of the time. .
And Sharon is such a diva...she should win. ScarJo ain't got nothing on her.
Posted by: Victoria | Mar 25, 2008 9:28:49 AM
I had a bit of hard time choosing between Scarjo and Sharon, but my rule of thumb is to always go with who's been putting out the FUG longer when in doubt. Sharon wins.
Posted by: liz | Mar 25, 2008 9:31:16 AM
Ack. That should be "Keira" all the way through... that damned i-before-e rule I keep on forgetting to forget.
Posted by: Naomi | Mar 25, 2008 9:31:29 AM
I always thought Juliette looked so crazy and strung out b/c she was a drinker, but I just found out she's a major scientologist. Who knew? I voted for Keira though - that belt as a bra was just too much for me.
Posted by: Sylvia | Mar 25, 2008 9:31:30 AM
But no! Don't vote for Juliette! She's a rock star and to look crazy it what those kind of people do. As someone said before, Keira is actually trying to look fab and just cannot do it. For the life of her. Oh and Keira please eat a burger.
Posted by: Pebbles | Mar 25, 2008 9:33:06 AM
Naomi, you're making me want to take my J.Lew/KK vote back. I did go with JL though because she just makes my eyes hurt. Although maybe I should have taken insanity into account (but then I'd have to give EVERYONE a pass). I would love to nail KK but more on her attitude than the actual clothing.
SS vs ScarJo - that was easy. If we're looking at body of work, then SS has been doing this far longer. ScarJo is an amateur in comparison - she'll always be in SS's shadow (*cue "Wind Beneath My Wings*)
Posted by: Rosemarie | Mar 25, 2008 9:37:25 AM
The reason behind why I keep voting for Sharon Stone (besides the fact that she is fug, pure and simple) is that she is old enough to know better. She's been around the block a few times and should really choose more wisely. But then again, she is crazy pants.
Posted by: Athena714 | Mar 25, 2008 9:42:31 AM
I can't decide between Sharon Stone, who is crazy/fabulous, and ScarJo, who just needs to buy a clue.
Posted by: Trish | Mar 25, 2008 9:43:06 AM
I had to go with KK and Stone because they both should know better, have done better, and have the $$ to make it better. I mean, come on now, Sharon Stone rocked the Oscars in a Gap turtleneck and a ballgown skirt!! She was truly, for a time, a fashion icon. Now she looks like, as someone already mentioned, Cruella DeVille. She's fug royalty because of how far she's fallen.
Oh, Fug Girls...this is AWESOME!!! Thanks so much for putting all this together. My teen daughters and I are having a field day with the brackets (and I've so enjoyed reading other comments. You've got some extremely witty readers!!).
Posted by: Kathy | Mar 25, 2008 9:46:35 AM
I had to vote for KK on this one. She reminds me of someone about whom my grandmother would say "She's be so pretty if only she would: wash her hair/stand up straight/ wear clothes that suited her/wipe that constipated look off her face" etc.
I kind of enjoy JL's brand of crazy. She isn't trying to be a fashion plate. She is a "free spirit rocker chic"
Posted by: Srh | Mar 25, 2008 9:48:40 AM
You know, I actually wonder what would've happened to Juliette Lewis if she and the Bradernator had made it for the long haul. Perhaps she would've had less impact on him. Perhaps he would've had a bigger impact on her.
She seems like the kinda crazy that can always provide entertainment. Whereas Sharon Stone just seems batshit crazy.
Posted by: Fornya | Mar 25, 2008 9:50:34 AM
I had to go with Juliette Lewis because she's ALWAYS dressed crazy, whereas Keira only started when she started hanging out with Sienna Miller. Hopefully she'll outgrow her fuggish influence.
Same with Sharon Stone vs. ScarJo. Sharon Stone is a seasoned master of the fug, whereas ScarJo is but a novice, and really would look okay most of the time if she wasn't trying to shove her boobs out of her dress so much.
This tournament is delicious ladies! I love it!!
Posted by: jen | Mar 25, 2008 9:51:16 AM
I had to go with Juliette Lewis because she's ALWAYS dressed crazy, whereas Keira only started when she started hanging out with Sienna Miller. Hopefully she'll outgrow her fuggish influence.
Same with Sharon Stone vs. ScarJo. Sharon Stone is a seasoned master of the fug, whereas ScarJo is but a novice, and really would look okay most of the time if she wasn't trying to shove her boobs out of her dress so much.
This tournament is delicious ladies! I love it!!
Posted by: jen | Mar 25, 2008 9:51:49 AM
Now we're comin' down to the real whackadoos- yay! Hey, how about teaming Sharon Stone & Joss Stone in the Doubles Tournament? Ouch, my eyes! Anyway, I still think it'll come down to a cage deathmatch between Chloe & Bai Ling... with Juliette's band performing!
Posted by: Michelle | Mar 25, 2008 9:54:46 AM
Juliette wins, not just for being crazy, but also because she always looks sort of dirty. ick. Also, I've never seen her look great, but I have seen Keira look amazing, like at this year's Oscars.
Sharon Stone wins for the vagina dress alone.
Posted by: Jess | Mar 25, 2008 9:55:43 AM
Non sequitur: Does anyone agree with me that there is something not quite right about KK's mouth when she speaks? As in, maybe she's trying to hold her cheeks away from the outer edges of her teeth, which have been coated with Vaseline.
Posted by: harper | Mar 25, 2008 9:58:50 AM
I vowed to vote with head and not my heart. And I did so. Had I voted with my heart, it would have been for Juliette since she's a $cientologist (it's the way I feel). But, alas, I vote for Kiera because, (same reason I will ALWAYS vote for Chloe) she's a smugfug.
I vote for Sharon for fear that if we make ScarJo the queen of fug at this tender age, she may hire someone to prevent that in the future. Think of all the fugliness we'd miss out on! Again, this is against my heart, since she had the audacity to put out a CD of whispered songs covering my hero Tom Waits.
Posted by: ISBN | Mar 25, 2008 9:59:17 AM
Oh come on!!!
Juliette Lewis is having fun! She's playing! And she looks like she eats! Keira is about as enthusiastic as a corpse! Look at her! She can't even smile! Exclamation point! What is her problem? If I saw her in public, I would be forced to run up to her, shake her whilst screaming, SMILE DAMMIT, JUST ONCE! (Then I might have to force-feed her a steak or something).
I mean come on, life could be a lot harder. Please.
And ScarJo's Boob Irresponsibility! At least Sharon treats hers well. Scarlett— PLEASE BE KIND TO YOUR BREASTS!
Ugh, this is getting tough!
Posted by: Z | Mar 25, 2008 10:00:26 AM
KeiraKnightly v. Juliette Lewis - I have to cut British celebrities a little slack because I know people on the other side of the pond are a lot more adventurous with their clothes than we are. Besides, Juliette's clothes are just plain crazy while Keira sometimes pulls it off.
Sharon Stone v. ScarJo - Sharon Stone all the way; ScarJo may be headed toward divaland, but Sharon Stone has been living there for years.
Posted by: Abby | Mar 25, 2008 10:01:47 AM
Sharon is winning because she is a crazy beeotch!!! I used to read articles about her fashion mishaps when I was in 7th grade reading Seventeen mags. That was at least a decade ago. That trumps for sure.
Posted by: Mel | Mar 25, 2008 10:02:43 AM
I went again the grain and voted Scarlett. Doesn't she have a clothing line?
I think that puts her into a different level of fug-dom. Not only does she dress fugly, but she is trying to tell US how to dress as well...very fugged-up.
Posted by: Challis | Mar 25, 2008 10:03:46 AM
Lewis over Knightley: ...but only by a hair. Knightley would have taken it were it not for the Indian feather in Lewis's hair in that one pic.
Stone over Johansson: If Stone is the CEO of Fug, Inc., then Johansson is her very promising protegee, whose talent needs to be nurtured carefully or she'll never sit in the corner office. Will she achieve her potential? Ask me in five years. In the meantime, this wasn't even a fair fight.
Posted by: Kate | Mar 25, 2008 10:04:46 AM
I can't believe Sharon Stone is so handily whumping Scarlett Johansson right now. That boob-squishing dress was like a Nadia Comaneci Perfect 10 and should have propelled Johansson easily into the Final Four.
Sigh, I guess that's why this tournament is so important.
Posted by: Susanelle | Mar 25, 2008 10:05:21 AM
JL and SS have trounced their opponents, KK and Scarjo, respectively. JL and SS are legitimately crazy, giving them the edge over the younger, less-experienced players, who really just need more time to ripen and age, like fug wine.
Posted by: Catherine | Mar 25, 2008 10:12:55 AM
wow. can we start a free ScarJo's breasts campaign??
Posted by: km | Mar 25, 2008 10:13:35 AM
I second Kate's comment above!! Watch out CEO Stone, Scar-Jo may behead you to claim the coveted top spot.
Posted by: elise | Mar 25, 2008 10:14:52 AM
I had to vote for Kiera. Juliette is that special brand of crazy that I just love. She and Chloe Sevigny dress SO insane that they actually make it work.
Posted by: B | Mar 25, 2008 10:16:18 AM
Juliette easily takes Keira in this round--not only is she a fug dresser, but she always looks unwashed. Cleanliness gets higher points in my book.
Posted by: gw | Mar 25, 2008 10:20:17 AM
I had to vote for Scar Jo, because I am sure PETA will be "taking care" of LaStone pretty soon. I saw her wearing a rat's paw the other day.. A PAW.. I mean come on people.. she is asking for it. And although Juliette is truly fugly, I think Keira's is totally intentional, like she needs the attention, so I gave it to her. Juliette is just being herself.
Posted by: Cherry | Mar 25, 2008 10:22:29 AM
Seriously, Juliette Lewis does NOT deserve the award for fugliest. She is an ACTOR and a MUSICIAN and she's quirky and creative and kinda cute. Let her be! Keira has no excuse, on the other hand. She has no talent and she is far too beautiful to fug it up, but yet she does on a regular basis. Let the quirky be quirky and the fug be fug. Keira Knightley must be stopped! She fugs up every film she is in. Yes, even the green dress movie.
Posted by: Beth | Mar 25, 2008 10:25:44 AM
Sharon's had my vote since she wore a Gap t-shirt to the Oscars.
Posted by: Lorraine Bates | Mar 25, 2008 10:27:28 AM
Ya know, I really kinda liked KK's "belt as bra top" dress. It just makes sense to belt the tiniest part of your body, and it works on her (sadly).
Posted by: B | Mar 25, 2008 10:35:35 AM
I gave ScarJo the win merely for how much the picture of her boobs smashed into that white dress made me CRINGE. Why replicate a mammogram at a red-carpet event?
Posted by: Alena | Mar 25, 2008 10:37:41 AM
I had to vote for Sharon Stone because, despite my constant outrage at how stumpy ScarJo manages to make herself look, I really love love love the dress/shirt she is wearing in the picture you posted. EVEN with the yellow tank.
Posted by: Maz | Mar 25, 2008 10:38:05 AM
One of the best things you guys ever wrote was the transcript of Sharon Stone's drunken advice to Lindsay Lohan, incl. doing her hair in a wind tunnel! Har. What an innocent and wonderful time that was!
Never in her wildest moments has ScarJo dreamed of reaching the summit of fugtastrophe where abides Sharon Stone.
Posted by: maria | Mar 25, 2008 10:49:40 AM
Harper - my friend pointed out once that Keira looks like a piranha. And I realized she was right and it has something to do with her mouth.
I voted for Keira because I think Juliette knows she'll never be a traditional beauty so just lets her kooky self run free. Plus, she seems so insanely happy with her outfits unlike KK who always looks bored, unhappy, or defiant.
Sharon Stone all the way!!
Posted by: Jenn | Mar 25, 2008 10:53:24 AM
It's almost impossible not to vote for Keira Knightley when looking at that ensemble. The distance between her waist and the waistband of those jeans... it all looks so freakish when combined with the ace bandage she's wearing on top. I mean, I don't need to see BOTH under-boob and pubic-bone.
Posted by: ALH | Mar 25, 2008 10:55:04 AM
While Keira has possibly worn the Forever 21 version of Jennifer Connolly's Balenciaga fugmare, Fugliette takes it on sheer kookiness alone. Besides, Keira is only, what, 10? JLew has been doing this for a lot longer.
I went Sharon Stone for the same reason, even though it looks like if you asked ScarJo who she was wearing, she'd say, "Body Glove."
Posted by: Kristin 18 | Mar 25, 2008 10:57:58 AM
I'm probably one of the few people who think so, but Keira's style fits her, oddly enough. She's been pulling off an ethereal look recently and it works with her serious expression. I even like her wood-nymph dress with the vines cascading down her back. She does need to snack on a big fat chocolate cake once in a while, but if I had the money I'd buy what she's wearing--in three sizes up.
Posted by: misty | Mar 25, 2008 10:58:01 AM
1) Kiera can be bad, but generally that's at lesser events or just out running fugging errands....Juliette is in a league of her own (though, disapointing not in the actual movie)
2) Stone, I mean come on...I love Sharron and I hate Scar-Jo, but I have to admit that Scarlet does not yet have the years or the crazy to come up with half the stuff Sharon does....though I must say, that blue dress pictured above is completely age appropriate when you remember Sharon is 49
Posted by: lambman | Mar 25, 2008 10:59:49 AM
HBT! Homo-bi-transexual! Does Juliett Lewis really fit into that category? Hell, does she fit into any, exept awfully fugly? K.kni mostly look fug in private imo, and honestly, that gives a free pass. At least when you're under 25. Probably. Anyway, Lewis mainly look crazy onstage, and stage-wear is always fugly (Sweden here. The sub-contests for the Eurovision Song Contest just finished. I think I'm blind)... She still wins. Let's hope she hugs her vinyl suit to say thanks.
Posted by: Elin | Mar 25, 2008 11:00:05 AM
Sharon's hair makes me puke in my mouth...
Posted by: Bebe | Mar 25, 2008 11:04:17 AM
New School vs. Original Flavor? Come on ladies...original flavor all the way.
Posted by: na | Mar 25, 2008 11:05:34 AM
I am totally fascinated by the fug criteria of different commenters. For many, it seems like there's a line between fug and completely insane that, once crossed, the fashion victim is no longer fug and is "expressing personal style." It explains HBC beating Beyonce - cheesy wins over crazy.
Posted by: Kristin 18 | Mar 25, 2008 11:06:42 AM
Er, I meant Beyonce beating HBC. (I kind of looked at it as a victory for HBC, I guess.)
Posted by: Kristin 18 | Mar 25, 2008 11:07:59 AM
I went with the over the top messes here. Juliette and Sharon. Had to.
And yeah, Lil Kim and Remy Ma would clean up in this competition.
Posted by: Krys | Mar 25, 2008 11:09:11 AM
I had to vote for Lewis because, as others have said, she is reliably fugly.
And I have to admit that if I had the skeletal form of K.kni, I might be tempted to go out of the house wrapped in an Ace bandage every now and then, too.
Posted by: Mrs. Swizzle | Mar 25, 2008 11:10:04 AM
Keira just desperately needs a sandwich, or eighteen, because I think it's probably just hunger that makes her dress like that. Juliette, though? She is just bat-shit insane and WE LOVE THAT ABOUT HER.
Posted by: Myriad | Mar 25, 2008 11:20:22 AM
am i crazy for LOVING keira's rose-budded atonement dress...? come on, it's pretty! i mean, everyone loves rose buds, right? RIGHT??
Posted by: ChiChi Montague | Mar 25, 2008 11:27:09 AM
Juliet got my vote. When she dresses formally she just looks like she is going to a costume party at a drug rehab. When she dresses casually she looks like she just got out of jail. And she never looks like she has had a bath in the last month.
ScarJo did get my vote... I just could not vote for anyone else when I was reminded of how she looked in that breast-pump beige dress. Damn! Hell-fire and DOUBLE DAMN! It made my little bossoms suck back up into my chest cavity.
Posted by: Sharon | Mar 25, 2008 11:29:44 AM
This one's a toughie, but I think it's Lewis & Stone... They should have their own company - or wear neon hats, or bells, maybe...
Posted by: canuck | Mar 25, 2008 11:29:44 AM
At least Knightley's natural beauty comes through in even the most fugliest outfits. Though she should be able to do much better. Still, I had to go with Lewis, because: girl crazy.
Ditto for Stone. And she's been fugging since ScarJo was in diapers.
Posted by: AstroAnde | Mar 25, 2008 11:41:23 AM
I want to vote for Keira simply because The Media go on and on and on about how "gorgeous" she is, but to me the stuff she chooses to wear just punctuates how wrong this assessment is. However, one cannot ignore that Juliette's wardrobe is just. Plain. Atrocious.
I'm dissenting with popular opinion on ScarJo vs Sharon. Sharon is wacky, but damn, she scares me. I value my life too much to vote for her and risk her tracking me down and gutting me, then wearing my skin as a cape to a red-carpet event. Compared to that lady's FIERCE fug, ScarJo can't possibly expect to get away with her throwaway looks. Scar takes the vote.
Posted by: Pandora | Mar 25, 2008 11:51:52 AM
kk just dresses like the average ultrasexy 21yr old with no particular fashion sense; jl, on the other hand....that's some real talent for fugly!
Posted by: resartus | Mar 25, 2008 11:53:44 AM
I couldn't NOT vote for La Stone. She is the one Fug Offender who consistently makes me LOL when I see her pics and read the Fug captions H and J give her. To the point where just thinking about Stoney in her animal furs makes me cackle. She really is crazy.
Posted by: Megan | Mar 25, 2008 11:54:38 AM
I had to go with Sharon over ScarJo because she's been at it quite a bit longer. But I had an enjoyable flash-forward 20 years to when ScarJo is that washed-up "actress" showing her coochie in desperation movies and scaring the next generation of wannabe starlets...
Posted by: Martha | Mar 25, 2008 11:56:55 AM
ScarJo needs to ditch the bright red lipstick, because it never seems to match her hair or clothes, and frankly, even so, it is usually the best looking feature about her.
Posted by: O. | Mar 25, 2008 12:09:47 PM
This was the hardest vote EVer for me!
See, the images I have of Kiera in my head are the ones from the movies in which she looks devastatingly pretty -- like when she's wearing that emerald green Atonement dress that I'd probably skin a baby to wear for just one hour, or her empire-waisted dewiness from Pride and Prejudice, or even her tawny-faced dirtiness from those idiotic Pirate movies. I agree that many of her red carpet choices are extremely ill-planned and unfortunate, and when she's snapped on the street she usually looks as if she's been oversleeping in her coffin and smearing canola oil all over her hairdo.
But she's still not as outlandish as Juliette, whom I honestly love and would probably give a kidney to, should she need one. Still, Juliette got my vote. She brings it. She dresses the way that I did when I was four: like I didn't give a f***. And bless her for that.
If Johannson starts wearing pelts, a la Sharon, I'm gonna lose it. I absolutely cannot stand either of these two bitches as actresses, spokespeople, or clotheswearers. I halfway voted for Hillary in the primaries merely based on that stupid "I'm engaged to Barack Obama!" comment she made a couple of months ago. Just kidding. Kind of.
Sharon Stone is effing insane. She JUST IS. She has a cruella complex for sure, and I'm sorry, but flaunting your love for fur to that extent is sort of sadistic. I'll bet she has some sort of minkery in her backyard. I'll bet she anally electrocutes all those little critters all by herself and has multiple orgasms while she does it.
And ScarJo: is there another actress under the age of 25 who views herself as being so terrifically accomplished? Does ANYBODY'S shit stink LESS than hers? I mean, really, on a personal note, the interviews I've read make me want to slap her -- so insufferably GODdamn arrogant when many of her waaaaay more talented (*cough, Natalie Portman*) peers at least seem LIKEABLE. I find her absolutely wooden and unemotive on film and pigeon-toed and reeking-of-effort in public. She is odious. I voted for her, and am dismayed that so many others did not.
Sharon sucks, though. She deserves the fug. I can at least console myself with the knowledge that ScarJo is only getting chunkier by the millisecond and will never, ever, ever, ever, ever win an Oscar. She's got a chance at winning this contest someday, though.
Heather and Jessica: I CANNOT BELIEVE that you NEVER posted a picture of the atrocious outfit she wore to that Louis Vuitton thing! You know what I'm talking about, right? The white nails, infantile troll doll hair, Dolly Parton makeup job, etc? That outfit made me want to die when I saw it. It did.
Posted by: Ernestine | Mar 25, 2008 12:18:06 PM
I voted KK simply based on the fugliness of her perpetual pout. I know, I know, it's not clothing, but it is personal style and it irritates the bejesus out of me.
Posted by: KPod | Mar 25, 2008 12:18:59 PM
I am SO enjoying Fug Madness and I just can't tell you how much I love that picture of Bjork. If at any point during the day I'm feeling a little low or a bit cranky I just pop into to GFY and there she is. It makes me laugh every time. Bless you Fug Girls! Bless you!
Posted by: Maggie | Mar 25, 2008 12:32:48 PM
I had to vote for SharSt (?) because she was horribly rude to my husband one day, even though I wanted to vote for ScarJo because her pigeon toes drive me up the frikkin' WALL!
Posted by: Maureen | Mar 25, 2008 12:39:31 PM
Hmmmm...perhaps it's unfair to pick on Juliette Lewis b/c I think she has seriously has mental health issues. I can't think of any other explaination for her wardrobe. It's like picking on Corky from Life Goes On for excessive drooling.
(I still voted for her.)
Posted by: SavageLettuce | Mar 25, 2008 12:41:06 PM
Sharon Stone and Juliette Lewis completely rock my world.
Posted by: Amy D | Mar 25, 2008 12:42:22 PM
Keira is so beautiful! And her clothes do look good on her tiny frame most of the time, even though the clothes are absolutely crazy!
And Sharon Stone over ScarJo anytime, just because she wears half of the Zoo most of the time.
Posted by: Sanne | Mar 25, 2008 12:46:24 PM
Does anyone else think Juliette Lewis looks like Iggy Pop in the first picture from the 'cranky' link?
Seriously... it scared me!
Posted by: Sheri | Mar 25, 2008 12:48:06 PM
It's just . . . the posture. They way ScarJo always always ALWAYS has her toes turned in. It drives me nuts. At least La Stone can stand up properly :)
Posted by: ange | Mar 25, 2008 12:53:47 PM
Juliette Lewis and Bai Ling should duke it out in the final 2.
Posted by: cwelk | Mar 25, 2008 1:01:49 PM
Juliette Lewis looks as though she's been possessed by Jerry Lewis and is super pissed off about it. She is at least headed for the Elite Eight.
Posted by: SidheDevil | Mar 25, 2008 1:06:16 PM
Anyone else notice that Juliette's "cranky" picture looks like Alice Cooper in drag?
She's a hot tranny mess.
Posted by: David | Mar 25, 2008 1:08:49 PM
Anyone else notice that Juliette's "cranky" picture looks like Alice Cooper in drag?
She's a hot tranny mess.
Posted by: David | Mar 25, 2008 1:15:02 PM
At least Kiera is cute, and tries. Juliette is doing the "look how whacky I am" thing. Trying tooooo hard to be the eccentric chick.
Posted by: Regina | Mar 25, 2008 1:21:18 PM
Sharon Stone is a one woman train wreck....
Posted by: Lindsay | Mar 25, 2008 1:24:05 PM
I love Juliette Lewis because of her crazy personality. That girl is not afraid to let all the nuttiness hang out. At least she's intending the outcome to be costume-y and crazy. I think Keira actually thinks she looks good in her hobo-belted dresses.
Posted by: tracy | Mar 25, 2008 1:28:19 PM
Juliet isn't angry in those shots, she's FIERCE. That's a mandatory rocker chick face. Consider it an accessory.
Posted by: sallyacious | Mar 25, 2008 1:32:28 PM
i like keira. cant help it. taht somehow adds to her fashion choices. she pulls of things better than juliette does - juliette looks trashy.
Posted by: Will | Mar 25, 2008 1:55:37 PM
Whoever--Becky, maybe?--compared Sharon Stone to the Sunset Blvd. character, and referred to her style as "Opera Fug" is brilliant, and should be hired by the Fug Girls to come up with more witty and spot-on phrases like that. Brava!
Posted by: Lindy | Mar 25, 2008 1:57:05 PM
Why is a picture of Florence Henderson from the 1974 Emmy Awards being used for Sharon Stone?
Yes, yes, this category is Stone and Lewis all the way - why - because both of them will pull out a straight-razor to win it - they will not be ignored - ever. Knightly and Johannson should not be rewarded for their raggedy half-assed choices since it seems highly unlikely that they are bright enough to dress themselves and are simply victims of stylists that truly truly hate them.
Posted by: Ricky | Mar 25, 2008 2:10:46 PM
Okay, okay...I agree, Juliette is over the top...about everything from her crazy costumes to her "vibrant" personality. But, it works for her. She's got the corner on fugly and she knows it. But KK, oh our wee waif Keira, oh how you drive me batty. JL knows that she looks insane, but KK actually believes her pouting face, protruding collar bones and haphazard ensembles are indeed attractive. This is the definition of fug: to wear what is simply a sin against nature, humanity, style and sanity and believe you actually look smashing. Such behavior reveals a deeper neurosis than the likes of Miss Juliette.
And Miss Scarlett's quasi-Posh-esque burgeoning breasts inspire in me the same vehemence I feel for the walking faux paus herself. KK and SJ take the cake.
Posted by: Cat | Mar 25, 2008 2:17:20 PM
I had to vote for Juliette Lewis because she is just a huge pile of random with her dressing "style". And Sharon Stone, come on. With ScarJo, I wince; with Sharon, I get a little excited to see what she's put together so I can goggle at it. Not to mention the fact that Jessica and Heather made me laugh so hard with their commentary at her Recent Cadaver fashion that I almost cried.
Posted by: KFC | Mar 25, 2008 2:23:16 PM
I had to go with Keira on this. She has all the advantages, money, stylists, looks, and still manages to fall on her face. Juliet is, well, she just is. I can't tell if she's the type who says she doesn't care if people stare her, while trying desperately to get people to stare at her, or is just simply crazy. I don't really care either way. And ScarJo is a lot of things, but she's no Sharon Stone. At least, not yet.
Posted by: Kate | Mar 25, 2008 2:24:38 PM
Hey, HEY YOU!!! Yeah my fellow fuggers, JLew is ON STAGE for god's sake!!! She is a stage persona....KK is just plain fug, and by plain I mean plain, and scary with her jaw!
And as far as Sharon Ston-ER, she has a right to look dis-sheveled every now and again, she's old....ScarHO...not so much. She was voted one of Maxim's most beautiful women (if not #1, I don't know) and we aren't going to give her an award for fuggin up? C'mon, the girl is so full of herself, and overFULL in everything she wears! I agree with a fugger from last week that said something to the tune of, ScarHO having breasts but NOT knowing what the H-E- double hockey stix to do with them!! That is not only a FUG-up, but a sin against the mams! Please kids, let's move ScarHO into the finals....please, please, please?????
Posted by: pinkopaque | Mar 25, 2008 2:27:57 PM
At least Juliette wears that crazy crap on stage - Kiera clearly thinks she looks devastating in what must be a costume for Invasion of the Body Snatchers: The Ballet.
Posted by: Andrea | Mar 25, 2008 2:33:51 PM
Lewis Vs. Kiera. Lewis in a blowout. Kiera manages to look classy in 99.9999999999% of what she wears, while Lewis just looks and probably smells like she forgot to bathe for the last week.
Stone Vs. Scarlett. Sharon should know better by now, so I give it to her.
Posted by: Ben | Mar 25, 2008 2:38:49 PM
I love Juliette. She's absolutely nuts, in a killer punk rock band and thus dresses appropriately. However, I didn't think twice about voting for her because if she wins this thing, she'd probably think it was hilarious...
and consider it a compliment.
Posted by: dez | Mar 25, 2008 2:43:21 PM
"Kiera Knightly dresses as though her life is one big, unending audition for Ophelia in a road show of "You Can't Make a Hamlet Without Breaking Some Legs"."
Suddenly, Keira Knightly's entire wardrobe makes so much sense to me.
Posted by: Caroline | Mar 25, 2008 3:08:07 PM
I was all ready to go and pick Juliette Lewsi, no matter who the competition was. But then I saw that it was Rakeface Troutpout and couldn't handle it.
I've forgotten who the second contest was about - the red mist still hasn't cleared from my eyes. I hate that woman.
Posted by: Kym | Mar 25, 2008 3:11:11 PM
Both these entries pit deliciously daft divas against women who merely dress wrong for their body type most of the time, as I see it.
All Keira K. really needs is a square meal or six. If she weren't so frinkin' boney, she'd actually look better in most of her clothes. Unfortunately, she chooses outfits that make her look like Ms. Anatomy Lesson. Juliette, OTOH, is NUUUUUTS. She's just like a punk rock Raggedy Ann.
ScarJo has a beautiful figure, but she forgets that she's a TINY little woman with BIG boobs. She looked lovely in her Mary Boleyn garb, as well as some of the evening wear I've seen her in. But she really and truly needs to ditch the "Mom" pants and all the high-waisted and/or boob-trussing-up outfits she has and remember that low-waisted, boot-cut pants are your FRIENDS, most especially when you're short and at all curvy.
Sharon Stone - now THERE's a deliciously deranged diva. Sharon FTW. She who pioneered celebrity cooter, rock on!
Posted by: Ailurophile | Mar 25, 2008 3:23:04 PM
I don't care what Juliette has or hasn't done: none of it is as heinous as Kiera turning up to (was it the Golden Globes? I forget) in a limp off-colour bridal gown made out of dental floss, toilet paper, and no doubt other hygenic products wrapped haphazardly around herself, and then attacked by an insane giant swan.
Posted by: joie | Mar 25, 2008 3:31:27 PM
"Rakeface Troutpout"
That is awesome. GFY has to have the wittiest posters anywhere on these here intertubes.
Posted by: Kristin 18 | Mar 25, 2008 3:49:00 PM
I wish I could take my vote for SS back. :( I sat there for about 10 minutes just thinking about it, and I voted crazy-fug over "i really think i'm attractive in toilet paper" fug.
:( times a million!
Can we have a do-ver?!
Posted by: Liz | Mar 25, 2008 3:56:16 PM
Lewis. One word (and not even hyphenated)--HEADBANDS!!!!
Posted by: Colleen Patten | Mar 25, 2008 3:58:15 PM
Juliette Lewis is the reason I get sucked into that damn Catch & Release movie every time it's on HBO. She was born crazy, and she's never pretended to be anything but. That means Knightley FTW! She, much like Chloe, is actually convinced that she has impeccable taste. That type of 'tude deserves a Fuggie. As for the other two, I feel as if there's still hope for ScarJo. Plus, she's hot as all get out. Even when she's fugging it to the nth degree, she's still someone most men & quite a number of women(myself included) would go home and dream about. Stone, on the other hand, knows much better. There's no excuse for her crazy. Stone FTW!
Posted by: Jadeblueafterglow | Mar 25, 2008 4:08:15 PM
Oh I thought these two were really hard! All four candidates deserve to go thru~!
I picked Lewis because she's all kinds of crazy and KK sometimes looks good.
And Stone because the older she gets, the fuggier she gets every time she leaves the house.
Posted by: Dataceptionist | Mar 25, 2008 4:27:50 PM
Juliette vs Kiera: Had to go with Juliette. I love her; she's hilarious and she rocks! But seriously. C'mon. It's too much. Just be a hot rock chick. Or a crazy one - just take that damned head band off, honey!
Sharon vs Scarlette: Sharon takes herself too seriously and she should know better, anyway. And those furs are atrocious. Scarlette's young; she's got time to learn.
Posted by: jax | Mar 25, 2008 5:09:57 PM
I don't get Keira's top. I see a waft of white fabric between her left arm and her torso. Is that a little back-cape and part of her shirt, or is there a midget in a dress shirt standing behind her? Regardless, I had to pick Juliette in this round.
Posted by: Ms. Speech | Mar 25, 2008 5:19:55 PM
Pirahna fish = a big overbite which Kiera would not have had she been born in the USA. I wonder what she would look like if she had orthodontia? anyway, I don't believe in mocking the afflicted so girls like J. Lewis and Kiera and even poor Bai Ling will never be the Fug Queens. Only someone who has looks and the unshakeable notion that she is always a feast for the eyes deserves to bethe Queen. So, that leaves color blind Jennifer Lopez, truly bonkers Sharon Stone, ridiculous Posh, and maybe that silly little Sienna.
Posted by: mary lou | Mar 25, 2008 5:27:43 PM
ISBN, this is wisdom! And "smugfug" is exactly on the nose. Did you coin that?
Posted by: MoPo | Mar 25, 2008 5:49:45 PM
I kinda feel bad for Juliette; she wants to be a rock star SO SO BADLY, but it's just not happening.
Posted by: EeeVeeElle | Mar 25, 2008 6:19:36 PM
Ok, dont kill me, but i actually liked that outfit that Keira was wearing. haha It must be the dynamite abs.
Posted by: Lexie | Mar 25, 2008 6:52:40 PM
Since when has being a 'rocker' been excuse for one to dress like they're six years old playing dress-up in their older sister's American Apparel?
Posted by: nicole | Mar 25, 2008 7:04:18 PM
juliette lewis is fantastic. atleast she isn't so afraid to be considered unattractive that she completely restricts herself to these bullshit ideals people set. its fine to think she looks ridiculous there, but she's a really funny, unique and intelligent person whose just doing her own thing. and to whoever said she's trying to be a "rock star", listen to her music.. its pretty damn good.
on the other hand, i can't watch a keira knightley movie because she's so worried about looking pretty (pirates of the caribbean, my LORD), its too awkward for me to witness. she looks like she just wants to make love to herself.
Posted by: brianna | Mar 25, 2008 7:06:46 PM
You know how some many fuggers (like the above Miss Lewis) do it by layering clearance rack after clearance rack upon themselves? It all seems so simple and obvious. This is everywoman fug. But the Stupendous Fug that is Sharon Stone's wardrobe could only be pulled off by some one with wads of cash and balls to match. For God's sake people, she's hauling a Grizzly pelt around Hollywood! She probably hunted and skinned it herself!! Without any weapons!!!
Posted by: Anastasia | Mar 25, 2008 7:10:14 PM
as they say at homedepot, if you can fug we can help... props to SJ
Posted by: deanna | Mar 25, 2008 7:18:36 PM
"For God's sake people, she's hauling a Grizzly pelt around Hollywood! She probably hunted and skinned it herself!! Without any weapons!!!"
A Grizzly? You wish, Anastasia. That there be Big Foot, mate. That's why we can't find any.
Posted by: Elisabetta | Mar 25, 2008 7:33:55 PM
I gave it to Keira because she NEVER smiles. And fashion wise, she almost plays it too safe, and still manages to mess it up. Juliette Lewis has FUN!!!! And she's crazy enough that I wind up smiling at the picture. I'd watch her in a cameo in a B52s/Cyndi Lauper sorta movie any day. I wouldn't wear what she wears in public...but on some level don't you kinda want to? You could always plead sorority hazing...or something...
Yeah, actually Keira and ScarJo seem kinda similar in the whole young, insecure NOT smiling little starlets. Sharon Stone, like someone else said, is OUR NORMA DESMOND. Whoot!!!! (makes cat sounds)...She needs a fug tiera. She'd wear it if we put some fur around the base...
Posted by: Becca | Mar 25, 2008 7:34:18 PM
I hate the shovelfaced Keira so much it makes my teeth itch! So of course I'd fug her to the end. She's so utterly talentless, yet gets plum parts and thinks so highly of herself it's enough to make me pine for a good bit of lead pipe and her head in a vise.
Posted by: Meg | Mar 25, 2008 8:18:53 PM
Unlike any of the other contestants, Juliette uses her face as an accessory.
Posted by: LLL | Mar 25, 2008 8:27:39 PM
Where is Kevin Barnes in all of this?
Posted by: just wondering | Mar 25, 2008 8:48:39 PM
See, I love Juliette Lewis but the girl ALWAYS looks as if she fell into the trunk holding the circus clowns' discarded costumes and came up covered in whatever fell on her. Yeah, she's creative and quirky and breaks the mold of actresses of her generation...but that is no excuse to dress as if she was color-blind and, okay, just plain sight-challenged. If she has to advertise her quirkiness by wearing outfits like these, well, she deserves my vote. And my heart-felt concern. And Sharon: I'm liking the Norma Desmond/Gloria Swanson metaphor. I picture her playing pinochle with Joan and Linda (wearing their Dynasty 80s-glam togs) in her huge Malibu beach mansion, while Lurch serves daquiris and walks the pet chimp. And LaStone in a turban....zowie!
Posted by: G-Ex | Mar 25, 2008 9:17:29 PM
Juliette could out-fug Keira any day. And Sharon Stone isn't even in the same fug league as Scarlett Johansson. Or the other way around. Or something.
Posted by: eat my shorts | Mar 25, 2008 9:33:36 PM
No contest here, Stone and Lewis dominate. Their fug will take them to the final four.
Posted by: jen310 | Mar 25, 2008 9:48:45 PM
This one was incredibly difficult. In the end, I went with Keira. Juliette is a rocker--in fact, she dresses as if she were a member of Barbie AND the Rockers, which is to say, Jem & the Holograms--and she is SUPPOSED to look inane and ludicrous. Or maybe not supposed, but allowed. It's rock n roll, whatever.
Keira is a fuc*ing OSCAR-NOMINATED MOVIE STAR. She knows better and has access to better. And so, I have shamed her and shunned her and put a pox upon her pouty-lipped house.
But where I really couldn't decide was ShaSto and ScarJo...I mean...how do you even pick? I ultimately went with ShaSto because her track record of crazy is a far more impressive resume than young ScarJo. Also, this: http://thegospelaccordingtojohn.typepad.com/tga2j/sharon_stone/index.html
But now, honestly? I wish I could take my vote back. Because that...GARMENT--I won't call it a dress. You know what? I won't even call it a garment--thing that ScarJo wore where her boobs were yanked skywards by an invisible system of counterweighted pullies? That shit takes the muh-fuc*in CAKE.
If only I were Cher and could alter the time/space continuum and recast my vote...dammit...
Posted by: John the Craptist | Mar 25, 2008 9:53:38 PM
Look, Keira Knightley has awesome abs. Admit it, we'd all wear half (or a portion of) the stuff she does if we did too.
Posted by: Livia | Mar 25, 2008 10:14:18 PM
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