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March 25, 2008
Fug Madness 2008: Madonna, Round Two, Continued
(1) VICTORIA "POSH SPICE" BECKHAM vs. (9) JOSS STONE
These two people are very, very different. One of them is famous for having singing talent, loves wearing loose, floaty clothing, often looks sort of dirty and sticky, and would rather go barefoot and contract any NUMBER of foot fungi than stick a toe in a pair of shoes.
The other is famous for having very little singing talent, loves being squeezed into things that crack her ribs and push the air out of her lungs as much as humanly possible, often looks orange, and -- as witnessed on her fabulous reality special, in which she got pulled over by the cops for speeding while wearing driving flats and quickly changed into stilettos before the police officer asked her to step out of the car -- would rather die than be seen in anything but four-inch heels:
Also, I suspect Posh is a huge basketball fan. Just a hunch.
(4) KATE MOSS vs. (5) SIENNA MILLER
This is another one of those clashes we yearn for in real life. The dudes out there probably wish it could be on a rainy day at Glastonbury, which is essentially like mud-wrestling. But we'd rather see these two crappelgangers catfight their way into a lily pond, pulling out each other's hair and shrieking creative insults into each other's ears before gnawing them off in a rage.
See, essentially, everyone's been accusing Sienna of biting Kate's style. You be the judge:
What are those haters thinking? Clearly Sienna is copying Peter Pan.
But assuming she's trying to be a mini-Moss, almost down to the thigh muscle, it becomes a question of whether it's worse to be Sienna -- who is aping this ragtag aesthetic -- or to be Kate, who not only insists she came up with the whole terrible idea first but clings to it as her trademark. In more existential terms, if a tree falls in the forest and only Kate Moss is there to hear it, will Sienna show up in a week claiming the sound of the tree's pain is forcing her to crawl down the neck of a whiskey bottle with Rhys Ifans? Would we even HAVE a Sienna if there was no Kate? And whom do we blame MORE for all of that?
Posted by H & J at 12:00 PM in Fug Madness | Permalink
Comments
Wow. This was tough. I actually went with Moss, only because I think, maybe Sienna pulls it off better... no? maybe not? ugh, i still am not sure I made the right choice... I keep picturing Moss in those short shorts and a leather moto jacket, and Sienna as the bringer of the leggings to America... how do you vote for that!? Good luck, kids.
Posted by: Megan | Mar 25, 2008 12:05:02 PM
Posh and Miller all the way. Not even a contest.
Posted by: Ellie | Mar 25, 2008 12:05:46 PM
It's mind boggling that both Sienna and Kate are considered fashion icons. Yicky. That being said, Sienna gets my vote for copying Kate but doing it in an even fuglier way. That takes dedication. Dedication to fug.
The Posh/Joss Stone match up is more difficult than I thought it'd be, but I think I'll take Posh for body of work. She did often looked better than her compadres back in the day (Scary was very... well, scary), but that didn't mean she wasn't fugalicious. Plus, Joss Stone can actually sing.
Posted by: Kristin 18 | Mar 25, 2008 12:06:51 PM
I chose posh because- dear god, she doesn't even look HUMAN. She starts with awful and then goes with it. At least Joss is just trying to look a little different...
as for Posh and Sienna- Sienna. Posh is bad, but Sienna is just a sheeple, copying Posh to make herself feel fashionable. Doesn't even have the guts to look awful off her own bat.
Posted by: Caitlin | Mar 25, 2008 12:08:53 PM
I can never forgive Miller for the fugging shoe ankle-straps OVER jeans thing.
Posted by: kittynation | Mar 25, 2008 12:09:06 PM
I worship Posh. I envy Posh (who doesn't - mmm...David Beckham...). If I could trade places with Posh, I would. She OWNS fug, in her own fabulous way. If she put out her own line of dresses made from six-pack rings and fruit roll-ups, I'd buy a dozen.
On the other match-up, I had to go with Kate. If you spend your entire life surrounded by the greatest designers on the planet, yet you dress like you shop at Goodwill and your taste in men leaves SO MUCH to be desired, you are fug, inside and out.
Posted by: Lorraine Bates | Mar 25, 2008 12:09:07 PM
It's so hard to vote for Posh's fug because I kind of love her! And by "kind of" I mean totally.
Posted by: Val | Mar 25, 2008 12:09:42 PM
Posh cannot fug, because she exists in her own world of fierce-ness. Joss Stone is just a mess, and has no idea what she's doing. Come on people! How can you say that formal shorts are worse than NO PANTS + NO SHOES? that equation surely equals no service. And by no service I mean she should win....
i don't remember what I'm talking about.
Posted by: dove | Mar 25, 2008 12:10:04 PM
Posh over Joss: I know she's supposed to be all FABULOUS and everything, but in recent ad campaigns (see, for example, the latest VOGUE -- the one with LeBron James on the cover) she's been looking really rough, to the point that I can't even really make fun of her because she looks like she might be honestly ill. I can vote for her in this poll, though -- no one's forcing her to be a print model.
Moss over Miller: Vote for the original, not the carbon copy.
Posted by: Kate | Mar 25, 2008 12:10:18 PM
yeah, sienna takes the kate look and rolls it around in the mud for a while before stepping out. yuck.
Posted by: cb | Mar 25, 2008 12:11:27 PM
Kate Vs Sienna, which one's which? I can't tell. I don't care? Yes I do. Sienna's worse because she chooses to look like Kate. Kate's been put in kooky things and told she's fabulous all day long so the girl just can't help it.
Posted by: laura | Mar 25, 2008 12:12:32 PM
I would have picked Sienna until yesterday when Kate wore that bearskin rug poncho thing, WITH A STRAIGHT FACE.
Posted by: Christy | Mar 25, 2008 12:12:54 PM
There is no excuse for overtanning - it looks horrible on Brittany Murphy, Amanda Bynes, and here on Posh.
Posted by: Mike | Mar 25, 2008 12:12:59 PM
I'm all over the place in my rationales for my votes. Here I went with Miller because her fug is wannabe fug, which is pathetic and therefore more fugly. But in the Eva Green:Speidi match, I had to vote for Eva, because I want to see more of her in coming days, but also because Speidi's fug is not even wannabe fug, it's the Fug that Thinks its Adorable, which is icky to infinity.
Posted by: KPod | Mar 25, 2008 12:14:50 PM
Ah. I applaud the home-grown talent that is our Posh. Britain is proud to have such a trail blazer of fug featured on this site; I think good money could be put on her being the dark (or actually luminously, gloriously, radioactive orange) horse of the entire competition. It particularly amuses me that she has chosen to discard her past of skanky, hair-extensioned, WAG-dom, and yet her attempts to reinvent herself as an Anna de-Wintouresque style queen have resulted in some of the most memorable episodes fugging I have seen in all my life. Look no further than her recent attempt to transigure herself into a tennis ball. I can't decide if she's blind or just f**king with us. Either way, hats (or in homage to her - rather pointless, fingerless gloves-off) to you, Mrs B.
Posted by: Meems | Mar 25, 2008 12:15:56 PM
Posh over Joss. Posh looks so plastic and nasty all the time. It makes me wonder how she keeps everything in its place.
At least Kate carries the look to an extent. Sienna always looks like she is trying too hard.
Posted by: Victoria | Mar 25, 2008 12:16:53 PM
I think Kate deserves the win for coming up with that crap-tacular "fashion" line. UGH.
Posted by: SRH | Mar 25, 2008 12:17:13 PM
I voted for Sienna, because though she does look pretty much identical to Kate these days, she somehow always looks like she's been wearing the same clothes day nad night for the past two weeks. So, I came to the conclusion that it's better to look bad but clean than to simply look bad.
Posted by: O. | Mar 25, 2008 12:17:37 PM
I took Joss over Posh because Posh just really pulls everything off, somehow. It's fabulously fug, whereas, there's just nothing fabulous about barefoot in public.
Posted by: Mel | Mar 25, 2008 12:19:44 PM
I adore Posh and secretly want to live her life, but looking at that photo makes my chest hurt. She and only she can rock her fugliness in the most glamorous of ways so I don't feel bad voting for her.
Posted by: Sabrina | Mar 25, 2008 12:19:49 PM
I adore Posh and secretly want to live her life, but looking at that photo makes my chest hurt. She and only she can rock her fugliness in the most glamorous of ways so I don't feel bad voting for her.
Posted by: Sabrina | Mar 25, 2008 12:20:33 PM
Man, posh always looks like her torso is going to explode in a fabulous cloud of blood and gore. Two oranges floating in motor oil.
Posted by: Oxytone | Mar 25, 2008 12:21:12 PM
I don't even buy the fake-Moss theory which I guess is based on a vaguely similar 60s-era vibe. Moss is on the Biba/Quant side of that equation whereas Sienna has already showed us her gruesome, low-rent Edie Sedgwick imitation at great and tedious length. Plus Sienna has got her own special kind of self-congratulatory hideousness on display at all times, whereas Moss acts all aloof and stuck-up like a supermodel (I guess) should.
As for Posh she has been the fugliest of the fugly for many moons now, and she grows fuglier (and oranger) by the second. Everything about her is wound up so tight she looks like her ears are going to snap right off her head any second. Joss Stone is just a common or garden hippie. No contest there.
Posted by: maria | Mar 25, 2008 12:21:16 PM
I voted for Posh because...she scares me. Moss is definitely the choice over Miller because Moss is a model and therefore her job is to make clothes look better. Is it a contest? I rest my case.
Posted by: Leah | Mar 25, 2008 12:22:57 PM
omg, i just hate those fake boobs that are extra fake looking. i mean, the regular fake ones are bad enough, why did she get those round, shiny, high, fakie fake looking ones? arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh i voted for THOSE.
Posted by: coconutsmigrate | Mar 25, 2008 12:23:32 PM
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