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March 27, 2008
Fug Madness 2008: Madonna, Sweet 16
Due to daylong technical problems that we've since resolved -- yay! -- the Madonna bracket didn't go up on time, and then briefly appeared with a malfunctioning jump post. To compensate, we'll leave the comments and the voting open through most of Friday. Thanks for your patience! Comments are working on all other brackets again also.
(2) JENNIFER LOPEZ vs. (6) BEYONCE
We love it when divas collide. And NOT FOR THE FIRST TIME:
THAT'S not an awkward photo. For the love of God, I can understand why you might want to ice each other out, but WHY IGNORE BECKS? He's so beautiful. Give that man a little face time. That being said, both of our contestants look lovely -- if affected by RAGING BITCHFACE -- here, if you can ignore the fact that Beyonce's dress seems to have a tail. In fact, as one of our commenters noted earlier in the tournament, both of these woman are actually naturally very beautiful. And yet they chose to wear items just as:
This crazy get-up looks positively bland compared to the wackadoo shenanigans Beyonce's gotten up to in the past, like her Cocktail Waitress/Figure-Skater outfit, or her OTHER Cocktail Waitress/Figure-Skater outfit, or her formal camo-wear, doesn't it?
Interestingly, at the exact same event, we were treated to:
CRAAAAAY. Also kind of awesome. Kind of like...Beyonce. And, you know....EVERYTHING ELSE SHE'S EVER WORN. EVER. Including her current crazy/awesome spread in People, in which she gambols around her estate with her new babies, looking like any other new mother of twins in a taffeta gown, heels, and elaborate updo. You know. Like you do.
Posted by H & J at 08:38 PM in Fug Madness | Permalink
Comments
I can't fug J.Lo as there is something so fascinating about her fashion choices.
Posted by: Genevieve | Mar 27, 2008 8:44:36 PM
I'm going to go with Beyonce. I feel that some of her clothing verges on tacky and over the top while J.Lo can be a bit wacky but her intentions are good and she seems to want to appear more "avante garde".
Posted by: Kay | Mar 27, 2008 8:52:35 PM
J Lo's Rhoda Morgenstern head shmata gives her the final edge she needs to win this whole competition.
Posted by: Vera Charles | Mar 27, 2008 8:54:36 PM
They daren't really look at Becks. You know Posh will cut a bitch, even if she is comprehensively dwarfed by them physically.
This is a REALLY hard face-off. Especially since you've only just now (with this photo) proven to me that they ARE two separate people.
I'm going with Beyonce because her family is such a fug enabler. A Fug Lowjack. Almost a Fug ball and chain, dragging her forever downward.
She'll never escape, is what I'm sayin. So she can't ever improve.
Posted by: Loob | Mar 27, 2008 8:54:44 PM
Good god--50%! It's a tie! Wow. May the best fugger win. I have to say, the Sweet 16 is so tough, y'all. I think my head my explode next round. There's such a huge body of work to deal with here.
Posted by: Booge | Mar 27, 2008 9:04:50 PM
I think it has to go to Beyonce. The House of Dereon, people! She just doesn't wear the fug, she creates it: http://www.dereon.com/
Posted by: Julie | Mar 27, 2008 9:06:55 PM
Yeah, there's a ton of stuff(years of 'work') to consider here. I suggest that in the future fug madness should keep the material to that of the previous year only. Rock on!
Posted by: AZmom | Mar 27, 2008 9:09:19 PM
Alright, since I could not post my comments on the other bracket threads due to tech problems I shall post them here:
Fergie vs. Peldon
That was so difficult. Both fug it up in ways that are unreal but in the end I had to go with Fergie Fug. Fergie gets more action than Peldon so more are witness to her fug. But Peldon is so scrappy. I see the writing on the wall and it says "Peldon IS Fug". Fergie is a man who tries so hard to be a woman and she pees herself - ON STAGE. If that ain't fug I don't know what is.
Peldon has good game though and I do believe she will take it all. Fergie maybe more fug (she gets my vote) than Peldon but it seems no one takes out the Patron Saint of Fug. God is truly on Peldon's side.
Paris vs. B. Murphy
Ms. Restlyane 2008's fug run is over. Paris all the way, baby. Paris' fug simply overwhelms B. Murph's fug and lips. Fug advantage (too easy) - Paris.
Chole vs. P. Price
I wanted double P to go all the way but she does not and can not compete with the fug force that is Chloe. I'm sorry P. Price that your run has come to an end. The fug force is strong with you though and you will be back. I'm counting on it.
Beyonce vs. J. Lo (cuz b*tch don't wanna be called that no mo')
Any woman, under the age of 60, who can go out in a turban (who is not Liz Taylor or Joan Collins) gets my vote. Anyone who accessorizes with the undead (I'm talking to you Marc) gets my vote. Anyone who takes her sense of fashion seriously and still fugs it up gets my vote.
Beyonce brings fug but only because she lets her mommy dress her. Lopez is fug because she knows that she is a diva and that is how a diva is supposed to dress. Fug advantage (just narrowly) - Lopez.
Posted by: jen310 | Mar 27, 2008 9:16:27 PM
I can't believe this race is practically 50/50!!! Someone up there made a good point with that House of Dereon foolishness she creates, not to mention the fact that Beyonce always looks like she's been shopping at Dollar Store Couture.
Posted by: Katherine | Mar 27, 2008 9:20:33 PM
I have to agree with an earier post - Beyonce is more fug because her mama makes her clothes for her. That has to count for something.
Posted by: caroline | Mar 27, 2008 9:21:47 PM
Is your last name really Cocks? Is that why you have such a biting wit, because you have been fending off "cocks" jokes your entire life?
If this is the case, you are not alone. There is a girl in one of my classes named Crystal Metham, and I actually do know someone named Charlie Hunt...C. Hunt.
Posted by: Monica | Mar 27, 2008 9:22:14 PM
I kinda lost respect for Beyonce when she admited she starved herself for Dreamgirls. She used that word-- starved. But looking back, I'm mystified why I had much to begin with... she should sing and let people who dress others for a living do their thing.
Posted by: DC | Mar 27, 2008 9:24:02 PM
I have to go with J. Lo. I mean, Beyonce's mom dresses her, which is bad, but whose mother *hasn't* made some awkward sartorial choices for her? J.Lo, on the other hand, has no excuse. She dresses *herself* this way. on *purpose* to *hurt* us.
Posted by: Maus | Mar 27, 2008 9:26:15 PM
I am sorry.
Truly.
This is just too tough.
What fug! I am having trouble seeing after those flashbacks!
Wow - I had forgotten just how fugly their wardrobes had been - thank you for the reminder.
How to decide, eh, how to decide?
Flip a coin?
Split them in half? oh, sorry, that's the whole Solomon thingy isn't it?
I KNOW.
House. of. Dereon.
Stop it before it breeds.
Posted by: Neurophilly | Mar 27, 2008 9:27:16 PM
I had to vote Beyonce if only because of that one dress J.Lo wore to the Oscars. Absolutely beautiful. And while J.Lo's looks may be kooky, she usually manages to carry them to a certain degree. Beyonce, on the other hand, usually looks...shiny. And pantsless.
Posted by: Candyland | Mar 27, 2008 9:31:37 PM
My mom made me clothes that I was only allowed to wear in the backyard. When I was four. How old is Beyonce? Old enough to get her own clothes or hire her own stylist, no nepotism required.
Posted by: Susan | Mar 27, 2008 9:33:55 PM
Positively...torn...these two were meant to be in the same contest, are we completely sure they are not the same person? Their fug seems so symbiotically similar...their personalities so similarly huge, and yet...
Sorry about all the ellipses, but they represent my synapses; this may be a more difficult fashion choice than what to wear to an ex's wedding. I had to go with Beyonce, for all the gold, nay, metals, in her clothing. My turmoil is increased since viewing that JLo People spread which is just that, it seems to go on...and on...and on...yuk, and that nursery! Come to think of it, it looks like Beyonce decorated, whoa!
Posted by: Cecily | Mar 27, 2008 9:34:33 PM
...
I have to give it to B, mostly because I'm going to SMACK the person who decided to put the music controls at the bottom of the layout for her fashion line.
Under, I might note, the ad for the House of Deréon class rings.
BEYONCÉ. DESIGNED. CLASS. RINGS. FOR. HER. FASHION LINE.
I don't care if J.Lo invited you to look up her lady cave in that picture that's in the game post - the amount of fugtential in having a House of Deréon class ring pretty much blows the 10 years of La Lopez away. (Okay, she's been famous for about 20, but she didn't start getting serious about fugging until like 10 years ago.)
(To be fair, if I saw a girl wearing any of B's clothes, I wouldn't chase her away. I'd also rather listen to Beyoncé than J.Lo sing, and she earned some goodwill for Dreamgirls - though I heard she was a heinous bitch about the entire thing. But B is still crazy when she dresses.)
Posted by: Chris | Mar 27, 2008 9:36:21 PM
If you missed out on commenting on other posts, please go back and post your thoughts there rather than in here -- this is just for comments on THIS matchup. Thanks so much!
Posted by: Heather | Mar 27, 2008 9:37:37 PM
I think, perhaps, I am blinded by the brilliant hilarity that is the commentary from the ladies, but how can this match go to anyone but our darling J-Lo? My only request is that when she expresses laughter it comes out as the Spanish "Ja Ja Ja" rather than the English "Ha Ha Ha", unless you're playing up how güera she really is.
Posted by: jenerjun | Mar 27, 2008 9:37:49 PM
In Re: Chloe - I finally figured it out - she has a two fold issue here, both prompted by a deep urge to overcompensate for 1. here severe but-ugliness and 2. her character on TV. Has anyone seen Big Love? I imagine her thinking, I am going to wear this flowered jumpsuit with leopard ballet clippers to prove that I am a fashion forward trendsetter, when in fact all she is is wife #2 in Sandy Utah. And she thinks we couldn't figure her out. Lucy doesn't need the "Doctor is In" sign up to diagnose this fashion wacko. Her Fug Reigns Supreme!
Posted by: simone | Mar 27, 2008 9:40:05 PM
Oh, you mentioned the People spread. I feel so sorry for those kids. BOTH of them look like Undead Daddy. Hopefully the little girl will shake it off and take after Mommy in looks.
Posted by: Julia | Mar 27, 2008 9:41:03 PM
*By "her clothes," I mean the stuff that I clicked through on the House of Deréon website. Which has forced me to abuse the use of the accented e. If I saw a chick walking down the street in gold-plated Balenciaga leggings, I'd have to do a double take before dropping to the ground in laughter.
Come to think of it, if I saw a chick performing in gold-plated Balenciaga leggings, especially if she paired it with a gold-plated bra? I'd probably drop too. OH WAIT.
Posted by: Chris | Mar 27, 2008 9:43:18 PM
*head implosion*
I have no idea. JLo owns her fug. Like Posh, she is splendid. Her crazy also extends beyond 'rolled in a pile of sequins and bits of Tyra's hair', which I enjoy. Beyonce, on the other wing, is overwhelmed by her fug. She doesn't own it, she blames it on a second personality called Sascha.
So, is it fuglove or fughate?
This may well be the toughest match yet.
Posted by: Rach | Mar 27, 2008 9:45:34 PM
My dislike of Beyonce swayed my vote a little but the bottom line still stands. Her mom makes her clothes! And they're usually some form of gold lamé! That's just not on.
Posted by: Mari | Mar 27, 2008 9:46:25 PM
Dude, Beyonce is just embarassing.
Posted by: nic | Mar 27, 2008 9:53:07 PM
It is KILLING me that JLO is losing to Beyonce. Come on, gals! Beyonce at least comes across as a nice person. Lopez just oozes rude-ass-fug-bitch out of every pore. And, the woman was married and divorced like 8 times in 6 months. And LOOK at the one she stuck with....! Dang, how someone can vote for someone who's mama picks out their fug as opposed to someone who even has a Vampire husband accessory is beyond me. Do I have to do all the thinkin' around here! Really!
Posted by: Sharon | Mar 27, 2008 9:57:46 PM
My vote is going to B because of the recurring fug of dresses so short that when she sits down she has to keep her hand in front of her privates to keep it all private!! I mean, come on girlfriend, a few inches longer wouldn't kill your mother, would it?
Posted by: jen | Mar 27, 2008 10:00:05 PM
Beyonce drives me nuts, absolute nuts!!
Her fugness is the supreme force of the universe.
All Hail!!
Posted by: Rachel Ann | Mar 27, 2008 10:12:24 PM
I'm all for a cute mini dress and over-the-knee boots, but a turban can never be forgiven. EVER.
EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER!
Posted by: Lori | Mar 27, 2008 10:24:02 PM
Oh, and can I PLEASE remind everyone of J. Lo's "Diddy" era? Have you forgotten about the white jeans, wife-beater, and doo-rag with 2 half pigtail-thingies ensemble?
That's got to, at least, be worth a couple votes...
Posted by: Lori | Mar 27, 2008 10:29:25 PM
"I can't fug J.Lo as there is something so fascinating about her fashion choices. "
I fugged her for that exact reason. She owns her fug, and I love her for it.
Posted by: Craig | Mar 27, 2008 10:42:20 PM
if only J.Lo could come close to Little Edie. Turbans might be a n0-no, but a sweater on your head? Hells yeah!
Posted by: emily | Mar 27, 2008 10:44:57 PM
People, people people! [almost] All of you forget J.Lo's craziest, most fantasti and by sheer creepiness best Fugcessory of all:
The Prince of Darkness himself, her hubby of the night.
Hook, line and fugger, J.Lo's a done deal.
Posted by: Jules | Mar 27, 2008 10:58:20 PM
This has been one of the most difficult decisions so far. It's like Sophie's Choice! Reviewing their past fugs has been enlightening and terrifying.
Are we all forgetting here that J.Lo also designs clothes? Am I mistaken? Cuz I thought I spied jeans with her name on them at Kohl's back in the day. And I know I have a bag big enough to fit the entire Anthony family with her name on it.
While I'm no cheerleader for Beyonce, this:
http://www.justsweet.com/nshop/product.php?view=detail&productid=JS-J803132&startColor=244&dept=apparel&groupName=Dresses
is not ok.
Posted by: Jenny | Mar 27, 2008 11:01:26 PM
This is certainly a tough one. But all I can say... or rather see (glaringly so in my poor retinas) is Beyonce as C-3PO in all her gold plating...
I don't think that JLo would ever be caught in that... enough said...
Posted by: Melissa | Mar 27, 2008 11:03:14 PM
There really needs to be a picture of a 'House of Dereon' ad somewhere here.
Those are THE ultimate FUG! Love how they sometimes manage to have at least 2 images of B [full length mirrors, car window, etc...] with Tina proudly looking on.
Posted by: Dana | Mar 27, 2008 11:04:11 PM
Jennifer Lopez has never dressed as the porn version of C3PO. 'Nuff said.
(Except to comment that initially, for some reason, I read this as Beyoncé vs. Mariah Carey, which struck me as much more interesting somehow.)
Posted by: Lara | Mar 27, 2008 11:04:36 PM
Call me nuts, but I FREAKIN LOVE J to the L.O in this. I need to go sit down for a bit.
Posted by: jess | Mar 27, 2008 11:06:54 PM
This is the hardest choice yet, i went with Beyonce, but I just got home from the bars, so i am a little confused... just like their outfits.
Posted by: Jes | Mar 27, 2008 11:28:02 PM
I think Beyonce should win this round--and that Jennifer Lopez should be bestowed with the crown for her own category of WHAT THE FUG. Also, she's married to Skeletor. Scary. She deserves her own WTF award for that alone.
Posted by: Vix the Over-Educated Nympho | Mar 27, 2008 11:30:19 PM
I don't know, this is a really difficult choice. I think I'll choose J. Lo because she can still surprise me with her depth of fugness, while Beyonce has a sort of monotone of fug.
Posted by: lc | Mar 27, 2008 11:31:01 PM
J. Lo has had some good well-played moments and her boobs aren't constantly being hoisted up to her ears.
Beyonce...well. Her style motto seems to be Disco on Drugs. Excessively shiny and sparkly and just...too skintight.
Posted by: eye of the befugger | Mar 27, 2008 11:45:57 PM
It's as if my brain has melted into a fondue and words have sunken into the bottom of the pot, and all I can do is sit here with bubbling half-thoughts.
Posted by: Z | Mar 27, 2008 11:50:38 PM
I knew that it would come to this. As much as Tina Knowles' gilded choices for her womb fruit have caused the value of gold to plummet until recently, I still can't fault a girl whose mother chose (possibly made I think) a good portion of her clothes for her celebrity career. And while she may not always follow the advice that she engraved onto CD in the halcyon days of my youth (nasty put some clothes on, why don'cha, why don'cha...), she has still never worn that sequiny TRON on ice starring the reanimated corpse of Esther Williams that J.ant pulled at the VMAs. I'm rooting for Sra. Antony still.
Posted by: lauraingallsw | Mar 27, 2008 11:59:26 PM
Gold. Lame. Shorts.
That is all.
Posted by: Sashacat | Mar 28, 2008 12:01:33 AM
I AM a new mother of twins and that JLo pictorial made me laugh so hard. It takes a special kind of idiot to wear haute couture around newborns. I would bet good money that one of her twins spit up all over that stupid taffeta gown in between takes.
Posted by: Jessica | Mar 28, 2008 12:52:55 AM
Beyonce. I keep thinking of your commentary on her chrome-ish belt, where you'd run up to hug her but then it had gotten all hot from the sun and so you'd burn your stomach or something. Am I making this up? (Well, not the chrome-belt part. So that is why I choose Beyonce.)
Posted by: SmR | Mar 28, 2008 1:25:59 AM
Beyonce would not have been POSSIBLE without J-Lo. Hello? Versace dress?? That was the BIRTH of Fug people! BeyoNEECE would NOT have been rollin' round on the beach in short-shorts if La Lopez hadn't dared to expose her navel/thong at an awards show. That is all.
Posted by: Megan | Mar 28, 2008 1:56:48 AM
This is so hard! J.Lo is the queen of uhm... glittery, furry and very minimalistic (as in minimalistic in the amount of clothes she is wearing, not in the look she's got) clothes, but Beyonce seems to be the ultimate discoball-turned-waitress. That's why I had to vote for B!
Posted by: Sanne | Mar 28, 2008 2:07:37 AM
It was tough, but in the end it had to be Beyonce.
Both their performing outfits are are retina scorching, but La Lopez has been known to get it right off stage.
Whilst Beyonce is always too tight, too shiny and just too Disco. And she’s so pretty, it’s a fugging shame.
Posted by: Eve | Mar 28, 2008 2:16:52 AM
Beyonce got my vote if only for that horrid blue eyeshadow.
Posted by: Georgette | Mar 28, 2008 2:48:22 AM
OMG. That People spread was purrriceless. And speaking of price, you know what was missing? Any mention of how the money they got for that pictorial was donated to their favorite hospital in Outer Gambia. A woman's gotta have her childcare taffeta.
I agree that J-Lo's green split-down-to-her-personal-heaven Versace dress may indeed have been the birth of fug. Plus she traded in Mr. Diddy AND Mr. Affleck for Mr. O-Positive. She's man-candy-challenged. So I'm voting for her.
Posted by: Auntie Em | Mar 28, 2008 2:51:48 AM
C'mon, the J.Lo archive is just imploring us to vote for her! At least it did me.
Besides, she's certainly more "fugly on the inside."
Posted by: Li | Mar 28, 2008 3:03:08 AM
I think we need a ruling from the fug girls as to whether stage costumes should be included when considering a fugger's 'body of work'.
B runs away with the competition if on-stage is excluded...J.Lo. becomes much more competitive against little Miss Hot Pants when her crazy stage outfits are factored in, particularly when searing ones retinas viewing the "Ay, I'm so mysterious, am I pregnant?" numbers she donned in the past year.
Ya think?
Posted by: Mel | Mar 28, 2008 3:15:28 AM
Had to give the Fug to J Lo--I kind of pity B, since she'd have to deal with her mother if she didn't wear what she made. I wouldn't want that sort of guilt. J Lo dresses herself, and therefore has no excuse.
Posted by: Kim | Mar 28, 2008 3:40:57 AM
The tie-dye flared jumpsuit monstrosity tips the scale for me. Really is it worth hiding a pregnancy if you have to dress like that to distract attention? Even the famed Robo-ho incident (don't come after me Rev. Jesse) cannot top that posterchild for fug.
Posted by: maire | Mar 28, 2008 4:02:17 AM
I think we need to determine a system for voting. Some people are voting for who they think looks the most awful the majority of the time. Others are voting for those whom they think actually carry their fug well. Maybe I take this a little too seriously, lol. However, I would like to figure this out, though. Like, I think J.Lo definately wears her fug more fabulously, and Beyonce's fug is just plain fug much of the time. So, peeps, which is it?
BTW - I am SO disappointed that Lilo didn't make it past round one. She is SO dedicated to fug! She is the Epitome of Fug. To those who said her only real crime is leggings....WHAAT?!!
Posted by: Jaime B. | Mar 28, 2008 4:23:02 AM
This was a tough one, they're both so incredibly tacky. I finally went for Beyonce since she always look so uncomfortable in her outfits, which sort of indicates that she's fully aware of the fug.
On the other hand, few things give me such a good laugh as the J-Lo-archive.
Posted by: Leila | Mar 28, 2008 4:27:04 AM
This was a tough one, they're both so incredibly tacky. I finally went for Beyonce since she always look so uncomfortable in her outfits, which sort of indicates that she's fully aware of the fug.
On the other hand, few things give me such a good laugh as the J-Lo-archive.
Posted by: Leila | Mar 28, 2008 4:29:36 AM
I voted for Beyonce, because to me, she never gets it right. She is tacky as hell. To me, when J-Lo gets, it right (which to me, is more often than not), she does it well.
Posted by: KG | Mar 28, 2008 4:43:19 AM
I voted for J.Lo. Admittedly, Beyonce has made some weird choices, but let's not forget earlier posts on what J.Lo has chosen to wear on stage. I agree with the earlier post: I got hooked on this site initially because of the J-Lo archive (and Britney's..). But I also chose J.Lo because she's married to Marc Anthony.. And she can't sing..
Posted by: Femke Buwalda | Mar 28, 2008 4:54:41 AM
I have never been anything even close to a Beyonce fan. All marketing, all plastic, all lame. Just totally fake. So I'm poised to click for her fugness, but then...
....the couture twins in the castle. My twins are 11 and I still wouldn't dress like that around them. It was sickening.
So I'm torn. Tacky, vacant, controlled by others, or tacky, calculating, controlled by a vampire? A tough call.
But my fug still belongs to Beyonce. Ain't nothin there except for big hair and mama's push.
Posted by: Debbi | Mar 28, 2008 4:59:33 AM
Be-Younce is much more FUG overall...she wears really weird stuff a LOT.
Posted by: liz | Mar 28, 2008 5:03:50 AM
J. Lo definitely wears some crazy outfits but she totally pulls them off. Beyonce can just get flat out tacky. I also don't think Jennifer should be penalized for her maternity outfits, especially on stage. If you cut those ensembles out her fug factor goes way down.
Posted by: Virginia | Mar 28, 2008 5:17:29 AM
I voted for Beyonce. All it took was remembering her eye make-up when she performed (thrice!) at the Oscars a few years ago. I'm pretty sure she had them apply the eyeshadow with a masonry trowel. True, of these two she's the one who can actually sing (not so sure about acting), but since when has that had anything to do with the Fug?
And PS Fug Girls, I think it's really admirable that you're leaving Britney out of all of this. Just goes to show that, bubbling under the tar pits of your hearts, there's some soul.
Posted by: drdan | Mar 28, 2008 5:26:35 AM
I had to fug Beyonce. She seems to forget what size she wears as everything is normally way to small. The way she poses with her armpit always sticking out is fugly in itself. Go Team Chloe!
Posted by: kooly | Mar 28, 2008 5:30:56 AM
Beyonce--largely based on the fact the House of Deron chose to debut their fashion line in Chicago on WBBM--for the record, that's a radio station.
Posted by: gogolightly | Mar 28, 2008 5:31:46 AM
I am still heartbroken over the loss of HBC, but I've gotta go with Beyonce here. At least J.Lo's fuggery is typically designer, whereas Beyonce has more money than God yet still often looks as though her mother is her stylist.
Posted by: samantha | Mar 28, 2008 5:33:55 AM
i have a soft spot for beyonce... so talented, so lovely. the artist formerly known as jLo got my vote.
Posted by: rachel | Mar 28, 2008 5:44:56 AM
Has to be Jennifer Lopez. At least Beyonce looks natural at times, whereas JLo seems to be channeling Liz Taylor circa 1978, as interpreted by a drag queen. Also, the photoshoot with the kids ( who looked just ever-so-slightly like those creepy baby dolls advertised on the back of tabloid mags).
Posted by: Caitlin | Mar 28, 2008 5:48:37 AM
Has to be Jennifer Lopez. At least Beyonce looks natural at times, whereas JLo seems to be channeling Liz Taylor circa 1978, as interpreted by a drag queen. Also, the photoshoot with the kids ( who looked just ever-so-slightly like those creepy baby dolls advertised on the back of tabloid mags).
Posted by: Caitlin | Mar 28, 2008 5:49:18 AM
i feel like jLo's fug is pulled together and if it were the right decade, she'd be rather glam.
beyonce, however, is fug all over the place and never seems to get it right--so she gets my vote.
Posted by: km | Mar 28, 2008 5:50:17 AM
Wow - this was a tough one and I have a feeling that it's only going to get harder in the next round(s).
After much self-deliberation, I had to give my vote to Beyonce. I based it on the fact that I have *occasionally* thought that J Lo pulled off the fug she was wearing, whereas I never once thought that about Beyonce.
Posted by: Aslana | Mar 28, 2008 5:51:20 AM
They both lose as a result of their equally heinous clothing lines.
NO ONE should be allowed to fug it forward.
Posted by: Lauren | Mar 28, 2008 5:58:00 AM
Vote up, people. I've got Lopez pegged to take this whole shooting match!
Posted by: Ellie | Mar 28, 2008 5:59:59 AM
You guys are doing a fantastic job! This is the most exciting thing going on right now on the entire web. Well, it seems that way. Hang in there!!
Posted by: Amelia | Mar 28, 2008 6:04:25 AM
When I hit the button to vote and saw the divas were practically tied, I spontaneously made a noise like I was actually watching a basketball game and there was a changeup.
Good Job ladies. I am officially entertained.
Posted by: Amy | Mar 28, 2008 6:06:02 AM
House of Dereon. Gold lame. I rest my case.
Posted by: Theresa | Mar 28, 2008 6:06:02 AM
J.Lo at least seems to have an idea of "style" while Beyonce will apparently wear absolutely anything.
Posted by: Amelia | Mar 28, 2008 6:06:02 AM
J.Lo at least seems to have an idea of "style" while Beyonce will apparently wear absolutely fuggin' anything.
Posted by: Amelia | Mar 28, 2008 6:06:32 AM
How many of us have wanted to go up to Beyonce and say "Your Mommy dresses you funny?"
Posted by: Darla | Mar 28, 2008 6:08:20 AM
I had to go with Lopez, although this match was the hardest so far. Beyonce puts her name on awful clothes for other people, which is an aggravating factor under the federal fashion penal code. J.Lo subjected her infant twins to a photo shoot in which she wore a taffeta ballgown. Twins + taffeta is a much worse offense than selling expensive versions of mall-stall stuff. Beyonce's customers don't have to whip out the VISA for those horrors, but J.Lo's twins didn't have a choice. I do hope they do something unbearable for a Hollywood parent when they're teens to get back at her, like, oh, make good grades and refuse to n
Posted by: Karenunculus | Mar 28, 2008 6:09:05 AM
Ugh, nothing like having one's sleeve hit the post button. I need a fug award for wearing sleeves that impede the use of a laptop.
That last sentence should end with "make good grades and refuse to be annoying attention-hogs, and join the Peace Corps instead of needing rehab."
Posted by: Karen | Mar 28, 2008 6:11:26 AM
This is the best match-up ever. I had such a hard time deciding but voted for Beyonce. Mainly I chose Beyonce because she is a beautiful girl and does not seem to know how to dress to flatter her figure. She is beautiful with curves (and thighs and hips--a pear like me) to spare, yet she always wears stuff that emphasizes her hips and thighs, and not in a good way. There's no excuse for that, except that she doesn't seem to have a stylist other than her mother, who ain't doing her any favors. But JLo--if she was in another bracket, she'd be my top choice!
Posted by: Princessxemina | Mar 28, 2008 6:17:44 AM
It was stressful choosing between these two exotic creatures, however in the end it was the plumage of Ms.Lopez that won my heart and my vote.
Posted by: Jen | Mar 28, 2008 6:17:45 AM
oh man oh man this is such a tough call. So tough in fact that i had to consult the comments to help me decide.
I would like to thank commenter Candyland for reminding me why looking at Beyonce always makes me downright uncomfortable.
She *is* very shiny and pantsless.
Posted by: James | Mar 28, 2008 6:18:42 AM
People, how can Beyonce be winning? Have we forgotten the fugliest accessory of them all - Marc Antony?!? When you're constantly photographed with the undead, there is no way to avoid the fug!
Posted by: Courtney | Mar 28, 2008 6:20:31 AM
The thing is...they're sort of the same, aren't they? They're equally fugged out, equally naturally beautiful (with gorgeous bodies that don't deserve the fug into which they're squeezed), and have equally hideous clothing lines. I don't really care who wins this one, and I suspect that's why it's so close - nobody else really does either.
Posted by: Catherine | Mar 28, 2008 6:20:49 AM
I had to vote for B and the house of Deron, because the catch phrase in the ads is "where the sidewalk meets the catwalk".
Posted by: DLZ | Mar 28, 2008 6:26:13 AM
I like Beyonce more and think she is the better looking of the two. But Jennifer Lopez always looks like she put thought into putting together her outfits, even if they end up wacky. Also Jennifr Lopez generally has better hair/make-up and doesn't look like a robot
Posted by: lambman | Mar 28, 2008 6:27:13 AM
People!!
I think we need to remember the votes goes for fug not for lifestyles, husbands (katie Holmes anyone??), talent (Peldon, Price), et al, it mus be JUST PLAIN FUG.
I dont think i remeber anything that B has worn that i liked, and the worst part is that she is so pretty...i saw a spread in cosmo of B with dresses for her line and they are all FUGLY not even one could be saved they are all a waste of fabric. One wonders who buys this dresses bc if they have this line someboby must be buying this.
B you should tell mommy to stop it, NOW!!
Posted by: NDR | Mar 28, 2008 6:27:31 AM
This one was tough, but I had to go with Beyonce...I just can't forgive all the hotpants.
Posted by: Amanda | Mar 28, 2008 6:29:05 AM
All I have to say about both ladies is: Fug thou art, and unto fug shalt thou return.
Really, they are both so embroiled in their fuggery I can't see either clawing their way out of it any time soon, regardless of the good nail jobs they almost certainly have. That's what makes the choice so difficult; neither have a snowballs chance in hell of cleansing themselves from their respective fugosity. Ladies, we've entered 'no-hopers' land.
Posted by: Meems | Mar 28, 2008 6:30:35 AM
WOW, this is ridiculously close right now! I had to go for J. Lo. though...I can never forgive the fugliness Oscar dress that left nothing to the imagination. :P
Posted by: Suzie | Mar 28, 2008 6:44:37 AM
I had to vote for Beyonce on this one just because JLo always manages to pull her crazazy off with confidence (Ms. B looks uncomfortable an awful lot), and also because she wears over-the-knee Louboutin boots. I covet her shoes mightily.
Posted by: Miss Em | Mar 28, 2008 6:50:20 AM
Oh, come ON! JLO married the undead, for crap's sake! How can you get fugglier than THAT?
I am just so, so tired of Beyonce. Seeing her name is like looking at a KFC sign, you know things just aren't happy anymore behind the sign.
Posted by: ScissorKitty | Mar 28, 2008 6:51:53 AM
I'm stunned. I have been having such a hard time choosing as the competition becomes increasingly fierce, but this was my first no-brainer. J Lo, all the way, if for nothing else but her crazy headgear. And she's losing??? I thought I had this one in the bank. I bet my mansion and my gold plated antique baby carriage on it, and now I will have to pose for magazines with my child in a (gasp) Evenflo stroller!!! I give.
Posted by: Susan | Mar 28, 2008 6:56:22 AM
This may be one of the hardest ones to date! I went with Beyonce mainly because of all that House of Deron, or Derion, or Delorean, or whatever it is called "fashion" that she sports. But both are deserving of the title.
Posted by: Art DeCoco | Mar 28, 2008 7:00:03 AM
I have made such a very grave error! I voted J.Lo, but then, in my curiousity, popped by the House of Dereon website. Oh the horror!! It's true, B propagates the fug into the world in a most unforgivable way. Godspeed, Beyonce! I know you can make it to the top!
Posted by: Charlotte | Mar 28, 2008 7:00:13 AM
They're both delusional, but the House of Dereon argument swayed me. Beyonce needs to sweep JLo.
Posted by: Atomicflea | Mar 28, 2008 7:02:28 AM
Fug It!
It should be a tie between them. Bad clothes and diva attitude makes you fugly. Hell has froze over, there's no turning back for either diva. Get new stylists!
Posted by: JCo | Mar 28, 2008 7:03:56 AM
I'm totally out of this round. I just hope that the winner is taken out by Posh in the next round, that's who I'm baking on. But, for the record, I voted for J.Lo because she should have been on my chart from the beginning. She is crazy-fug-licious.
Posted by: Meg | Mar 28, 2008 7:08:38 AM
J.Lo - she presumably makes her own decisions about what to wear, where B just puts on what her momma tells her to. Fug from within vs. fug from without.
Posted by: KPod | Mar 28, 2008 7:09:30 AM
Jenny from the block puts the "F" in Fug to me! You MUST vote for her hideousness, you MUST. Because:
1. The hateful attitude she exudes. Miss B seems - human, likeable even, while Sra. Antony does NOT.
2. Versace, Oscars, 'nuff said.
3. Miss B, I love ya, but you are a one-trick pony, a glittery monotone of fug as someone said earlier. Jenny, on the other hand, scales the heights, explores the hinterlands, mines the depths of fug.
4. The ultimate accessory ... the reanimated Marc ...
5. Velour tracksuits! People! I know "Bouncy" and "lamé" are synonymous but are the malls, the streets, the 7th-grade-classrooms filled with lamé hotpants? Like they were, hell still ARE in some neighborhoods, with velour tracksuits?
6. Let's remember House of Dereon (hideous name!) would prolly not even EXIST had not J.Ho done it FIRST. http://www.shopjlo.com/shop.php This is a "lifestyle brand that incorporates every aspect of JLos' life" which is maybe why so many "fun flirty spring looks" are clearly maternity. The clothes are verry low-rent and cheapy-looking, which I suspect reveals her attitude about the peons who would buy them. [Disclaimer: I personally do not think this should be a factor in the voting, but if it sways you, Jenny's hands are NOT CLEAN.]
Body of work, people, and a few "well played"s do not in any way counterbalance the fugtacular fugosity of Ms. Lopez's long and gruesome list of crimes.
Posted by: crescentaluna | Mar 28, 2008 7:09:44 AM
J-Lo has worn some beautiful dresses (some Marchesa ones come to mind) that I've really liked. Beyonce, on the other hand, always looks like she had to be vacuum-packed into her dress and wears stuff with ugly embellishments. I had to go with Beyonce on this one.
Posted by: Sarah | Mar 28, 2008 7:10:56 AM
I join the ranks of the exploded-heads. Before I read the comments, I was with J-lo all the way. Then I realized that half of my schadenfreude enjoyment of J-Lo is the internal dialogue that Jessica and Heather write. Take that away, and her clothes are actually awesome. And they fit her well, unlike Beyonce's My-Size Barbie tailoring. I think J-Lo is modelling herself on mid-sixties Liz Taylor. Crazy, over-the-top, but not a mere mortal like the rest of us. Like she's the Mt. Rushmore of Divadom.
Beyonce's choices are unfortunate and unflattering most of the time. J-Lo's choices are mindblowingly out of step with reality, but she has become her own avatar. So this round goes to Beyonce. She may be the stepchild of J-Lo's pioneering fug efforts, but like Kimberly Stewart, having a famous parent doesn't make you cool.
Posted by: Anne K | Mar 28, 2008 7:12:54 AM
Beyonce all the way! She is so beautiful and yet usually dresses so horribly. And who cares if her mom dresses her, how old is she? Um, I think plenty old enough to say BACK OFF, WOMAN. JLo at least looks good some of the time, and rarely looks as all-out trashy/tacky as Beyonce does regularly.
Posted by: lesli | Mar 28, 2008 7:18:35 AM
Beyonce because of her mother. Tina needs to quit it now.
Posted by: Melody | Mar 28, 2008 7:20:16 AM
i just sat in front of the computer, frozen in my torment, for like 15 solid minutes. i almost simply didn't vote, but i realized i would not be doing justice to the fug if i let this slide. i chose beyonce, because although both are fug, at least j. lo's fug comes from different angles, and sometimes looks good. beyonce's is just repetitive fug. the same fug, over and over. god, that was hard.
Posted by: cate | Mar 28, 2008 7:21:06 AM
Unfortunately, this is the issue I have been running up against all along- the true definition of "fug" and whether it's a reward or punishment. In this case, personal feelings aside as I find Beyonce and everything she stands for- besides her wonderfully talented boyfriend- completely intolerable, I had to go with Beyonce. As many have stated before me, J. Lo OWNS everything she wears. She never looks uncomfortable but rather has an air of "you dont like this? well I dont like you!" and I have to respect that.
Beyonce, on the other hand, always looks both physically and psychically uncomfortable- like she knows there are too many sequins and lame and metal plates but she was kind of forced into it by her people (read: Tina) because it's her "brand" and she has to even though she would rather be wearing a large taffeta caftan, a la J. Lo, but that wouldn't be okay because whats a BEyonce appearance without gratuitous thigh flesh?
Fabulous Fug versus Drag Queen Fug. I'm going with the Drag Queen on this one.
Posted by: Laura | Mar 28, 2008 7:23:09 AM
So, hard...
So, hard...
Beyonce is a fug princess, complete with shiny shirt-skirts and shinier eyes. She's kind of obvious.
But, J-Lo is a queen. She owns her fug. She embodies it. She has boiled herself down to her fuggy essence.
Hey, Beyonce. Better luck next year, kid.
Posted by: JK | Mar 28, 2008 7:23:14 AM
You know what did it for me? Marc Anthony. Hes so nasty. Other than that - Jennifa Yopez and Beyoncewhat are equal in their divainsanity to me. But that Marc Anthony...*shudder* creeeps the shiznit outta me.
Posted by: lipstickface | Mar 28, 2008 7:23:31 AM
I had to go with Beyonce - J Lo always looks kind of awesome, even in the most ridiculous clothes. After looking through the entire Beyonce catalogue, though, I want to submit her as a contestant for What Not To Wear. She fits perfectly into their "pretty girl trying too hard and looking tacky" subset. Can't you just hear both them, horrified at her closet, saying "Do you own ANYTHING that isn't a shiny metallic?" Clinton explaining "You want to get the RIGHT KIND of attention"? Stacy cajoling B with "Let me introduce you to your new best friend: COTTON"? Though as always I'll feel bad when she gets in the 360 mirror and sees exactly what those gold hot pants do to her thighs....
Posted by: Edith | Mar 28, 2008 7:28:26 AM
Beyonce - no contest.
Both are beautiful diva ladies. But Beyonce does look like a figure skater much too often.
p.s. There is nothing wrong with marc anthony. he's great!
Posted by: BEM | Mar 28, 2008 7:31:45 AM
I've finally figured out how to vote in these increasingly difficult fug-offs! Picture them in each others' wardrobes. If you'd say, for example, Beyonce would LOVE to wear any and all of JLo's stuff, but even JLo wouldn't be caught dead in Beyonce's duds, then obviously Beyonce is the fuggliest.
Heather and Jessica: Why oh why isn't Mariah Carey in the competition? She'd be seeded in the top ten, for sure!
Posted by: Critter | Mar 28, 2008 7:48:02 AM
I truly believe that, while J. Lo may make some heinous clothing choices, the House of Dereon is a blight upon this planet, and may actually signal the Coming of the Apocalypse.
So I voted Beyonce.
Posted by: Robin | Mar 28, 2008 7:51:00 AM
tough. tough, tough, tough. i guess i'll have to lean back on which one i'd consider sleeping with. btw, marc anthony looks like an animated corpse. that is all.
Posted by: geekgrrl | Mar 28, 2008 7:51:40 AM
This is such a hard one. There are mitigating circumstances on both sides.
Beyonce dresses crazy, but it's mostly her mom's fault. Who hasn't worn something awful because their mom liked it? WHO, I ask you?!
J-Lo dresses crazy, but she usually manages to pull it off, because of that serene thing she has. (And yet... ok, you got me with the sparkly silver go-go-dancer-goes-skiing thing. That's awful.)
Posted by: Tanya | Mar 28, 2008 7:51:50 AM
JLo is my idol and I love her and she's my best friend and Marc Anthony is handsome with his angular face and strong jawline and compact frame and JLo is exactly how I'd dress if I was a celebrity, whereas Beyonce is how I'd dress if I was a prostitute.
Posted by: catherine | Mar 28, 2008 7:57:29 AM
JLo is my idol and I love her and she's my best friend and Marc Anthony is handsome with his angular face and strong jawline and compact frame and JLo is exactly how I'd dress if I was a celebrity, whereas Beyonce is how I'd dress if I was a prostitute.
Posted by: catherine | Mar 28, 2008 7:58:38 AM
Catherine, I feel exactly the same way about Wolf Blitzer.
Posted by: drdan | Mar 28, 2008 8:03:30 AM
This is a match made in FUG HEAVEN...I had to go with Jlo because she does have a choice in her clothes, and she chooses crazy ass costumes, all the time.
When Beyonce is able to pick an outfit without having to promote that House of Derriere's crap, then I'll consider her as a true fug. My mom used to make outfits for me too, but luckily for me: a) that stopped when I turned 7 and b) my mom is not Tina Knowles.
Posted by: Cherry | Mar 28, 2008 8:03:54 AM
This was my most difficult voting decision since picking Hillary over Dennis Kucinich in the Democratic primary. I went with JLo. Her choice of Mark Anthony as husband-accessory pushed her over the top in my book.
Posted by: Lara | Mar 28, 2008 8:05:39 AM
This was the toughest matchup yet for me! In the end, J. No-Longer-Lo took it with the turban. Though I'm still not content, remembering Beyoncé's gangrene-of-the-pelvis getup at this year's Grammys. I may not sleep tonight.
Posted by: Oregano | Mar 28, 2008 8:07:19 AM
C'mon, people! It is a toughie - mostly because, in my opinion, they have eerily similar styles that always miss the mark - but J.Lo is the clear choice. Beyonce has (just) a few more outfits that I've liked over the years.
Posted by: Mike | Mar 28, 2008 8:08:55 AM
Bootylicious, both, but I had to go with Beyonce. Too many outfits featuring her thunderthighs. And as I have said before, creating and spreading fug (House of WHAAAAT?) puts her over the top.
Posted by: mrs o | Mar 28, 2008 8:09:57 AM
How do I choose? I love Beyonce, like would-drink-her-bath-water love, but even I look @her sometimes & think "her mom must secretly HATE her!"
So, due to that & everything Loob said, I have to sigh & pick B. Don't hate me, lovely!
Loob- you are one clever woman. Sassy broad, you.
Posted by: B.Loren | Mar 28, 2008 8:11:32 AM
This is a tough one. After much deliberation, my vote went to Beyonce because she generally refuses to wear pants.
Posted by: Erin | Mar 28, 2008 8:13:45 AM
I had NO idea that was going to be so difficult. I ended up going with J.Lo (by a very slight edge) if only because Beyonce can always blame her mama, whereas J.Lo has no one but herself to blame.
Posted by: Janice | Mar 28, 2008 8:14:14 AM
What? What? How is Beyonce ahead? It is J.Lo ALL. THE. WAY.
Posted by: Amy | Mar 28, 2008 8:20:28 AM
First, no self respecting figure skater would wear anything that Beyonce would wear. And, considering that figure skaters think that illusion fabric and sequins are fashion forward, that says A LOT about Beyonce.
That being said, I can't believe J-Lo isn't winning this. Does no one remember this ode to Brett Michaels? http://picasaweb.google.com/stumfxy/JenniferLopez/photo#5102221568212833202. Or, this reprise of Cinderella's rags? http://picasaweb.google.com/Gprasad205/Jennifer/photo#5108512875302774130. Little House on the Prairie meets Red Light District? http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2005/startracks/050207/jlopez.jpg
I could post links all day. Not only has J-Lo stepped up the fug recently, she has been outfugging everyone around her for years. Thus, she gets my vote.
Posted by: Kristin 18 | Mar 28, 2008 8:23:13 AM
I deeply love both of them. I am a huge fan of over-the-top diva-type people. I think they should go on tour together. How great would that be? They might kill each other on stage! Whoo!
Anyway. Repeating what a lot of others have said...
I think that Jennifer carries her fug better, and pulls it off more often; sometimes with sheer attitude she shoots through the fug into "awesome." Whereas Beyonce sometimes just seems to be fug's victim.
Beyonce is the fuglier -- but the margin is slim.
Posted by: Jennifer | Mar 28, 2008 8:23:36 AM
Beyonce dressed as the gold robot. 'Nuff said.
Posted by: Drie | Mar 28, 2008 8:26:29 AM
Like a lot of people said, J-Lo OWNS her look, crazy as it is sometimes. B is just trying too hard and failing too bad!
Posted by: Jola | Mar 28, 2008 8:27:03 AM
this is a tough one as both women are naturally pretty but choose to wear hideous clothing. It's infuriating how fug they try to be! I choose jlo though because I HATE pastels and she looooves them (especially pale pink lipstick, yuck!)
Posted by: ekar | Mar 28, 2008 8:33:23 AM
"Like they were, hell still ARE in some neighborhoods, with velour tracksuits?"
I just saw one being worn with 4 inch cork platform mules. I wanted to cry.
On another note, I just visited the Dereon website, and it is truly terrible. As someone who has been wearing and decorating with fleur de lis for years (I love France), I am irritated that they (along with the Real Housewives of Orange County) are sullying my favorite symbol. J.Lo's brand, however, is equally horrific and is also ridiculously expensive for what it is. They tie on that score.
Posted by: Kristin 18 | Mar 28, 2008 8:34:45 AM
I went with JLo. Both women make good choices sometimes, so neither of them deserves to take top honors, but ultimately I feel that Beyonce's mistakes, while legion, all sort of fit with the crazy gilded diva thing she's got going on. Whereas JLo's mistakes just come straight from Planet Fug.
Posted by: Amy | Mar 28, 2008 8:36:36 AM
This match-up actually wasn't too hard for me. J.Lo messes up sometimes, and gets it right sometimes. Beyonce is consistently terrible. I actually get irritated just thinking about her clothes. She dresses the exact wrong way for her figure. I always get the feeling that when she does get it right, it's purely by accident. I used to think she was so pretty, but I can't see past her wardrobe anymore. Even when J.Lo fugs it up, I still think "gosh, she's pretty". And at least J.Lo knows what size she is...
Posted by: Amanda | Mar 28, 2008 8:43:51 AM
They are equally matched in many ways, but I voted for Beyonce, because of J.Lo's green Versace at the 2000 grammy, it was a perfect example of a fashion statement.
Posted by: Leah | Mar 28, 2008 8:45:34 AM
I cannot fug J.Lo on account of that amazing green dress she wore to the oscars a few years back...not too many people can wear a dress slit to their navel and get away with it.
Posted by: passerby | Mar 28, 2008 8:49:40 AM
Oh my that was SO HARD! I have to lie down now... I finally ended up going with JLo because after perusing her catalog I was just so impressed with the variety and breadth of her fugly outfits- She's a dominatrix! She's a 80's soap diva! She's an earth mother! She's a muppet! On the other hand B tends to go with a version of the same fug look (super-tight, tacky, short, whatevs) every time- too predictable. SO Jenny wins by a hair!
Posted by: cb | Mar 28, 2008 8:56:36 AM
Someone should tell Becks that holding the microphone the way he is might be deemed inappropriate.
Posted by: Andrew P. | Mar 28, 2008 8:59:05 AM
Sometimes, J Ho looks just ubercute, in spite of herself. Beans & Cheese Cannoli (that's "Beyonce Knowles" for those of you who don't speak in Beyonics) takes this one.
Posted by: Missie | Mar 28, 2008 9:07:06 AM
This is too tough to call, so I just had to go with the one who annoys me more. And that would be J.Lo. She makes me want to cry.
Posted by: amy | Mar 28, 2008 9:10:44 AM
Six words:
Dios mio, I must get jiggy.
Check the archives. J. Lo. takes it on that one alone.
Posted by: Lisa | Mar 28, 2008 9:16:26 AM
I really hate both of these people.
Posted by: Maz | Mar 28, 2008 9:19:03 AM
This was the toughest vote yet: two women who drape themselves in crazy. I had to go with Beyonce, because House of Dereon pumps out Fug like a widget factory.
Posted by: GC | Mar 28, 2008 9:20:13 AM
This was the toughest vote yet: two women who drape themselves in crazy. I had to go with Beyonce, because House of Dereon pumps out Fug like a widget factory.
Posted by: GC | Mar 28, 2008 9:20:29 AM
This is the first match-up where I had to look up the histories of both divas in order to make a decision; in the end, I went with La Lopez because... well... bitch went crazy and married vampire king/crooner Marc Anthony. In a way, though, it's harmonious: you know Lopez wants to be Cleopatra (I cite her eye makeup for teh last 10 years), so why wouldn't she marry him? She needs to stay away from asps, though.
I feel that Beyonce is still being contolled by her Stage Mother Slash Stylist From Hell - I get the feeling that if her mum told her to wear a backwards denim suit and sing only Kris Kross songs, Beyonce would do it. Therefore, vampire lover J Lo gets my fug.
Posted by: pia | Mar 28, 2008 9:21:09 AM
I voted for J.Lo solely on what she did in people magazine with those poor babies. Horrifying!
Posted by: cloudy | Mar 28, 2008 9:26:20 AM
i'm totally agreeing with passerby, although it was a hard call. it seems like b sticks with one style of fig (weird, bright, short, flouncy), whereas la lopez is all across the gamut-- it's short, it's a tunic, it's a ballgown. it's over accessorized! so, i voted for j. lo insofar as fug across fashion genres is probably a much worse crime than doing the same thing over and over again. maybe b will grow out of it, she's "young" right?
Posted by: poose | Mar 28, 2008 9:27:07 AM
I've been on Beyonce to win this whole thing (I know, totally not favoured, but still) because she's so lovely but dresses over-the-crazy so many times. My hairdresser and I had a conversation on which celebrity we'd want to makeUNDER, and I was on Beyonce then and am still on her now. She just never looks like she chills out to get an iced tea. The effort she puts into what she wears and how she sings and dances practically explodes off my monitor. As for La Lopez, I love her. I can't fug her based on her Norma Desmond meets Gloria Gaynor fabulousness.
Posted by: Jellee | Mar 28, 2008 9:37:22 AM
This was a difficult decision. And yet my mouse-click went directly to J.Lo. I think because Beyonce is, or has been, at the mercy of her mother, no? Or at least she was, and I fear there's been some brainwashing going on. Jenny, on the other hand, picks 'em all out herself. And even she can't pull off a skullcap no matter how proudly she presents herself. And seriously. The infamous green dress reeked of desperation, and that alone ... well, wait, Beyonce has shown up on hot pants... jaysus. Did I just waste a vote?
Posted by: Kristan C. | Mar 28, 2008 9:44:50 AM
This is the *only* battle royale where I resorted to the ol' coin toss for my decision! (I mean that literally, and Beyonce won.) How do you choose between these two - so incredibly evenly matched, not just on account of thier own personal wardrobes, but because they both "design" (or have "designed") fugtastic lines of clothing! I have loved, loved, loved this March madness game - one of the cleverest ideas I've seen online in a long time. Thanks, Fug Girls!
P.S. The J.Lo. fugging for that turbaned ice-skating *thing* is one of my favorite fuggings ever.
Posted by: adam! | Mar 28, 2008 9:45:22 AM
J-Lo ALMOST pulled that off, but what the hell is she holding?
Posted by: Melissa | Mar 28, 2008 9:48:04 AM
JLo, those poor babies. They have a mama with true fugliness of heart.
Posted by: Boo | Mar 28, 2008 9:50:52 AM
I vote for J.Lo mainly becaseu I can forsee teh reaction when she finds out she was voted Fuglier than anyone... I'm thinking something similar to Kali ...she will sprout multiple heads each one spitting fire and invectives...and at the apex of her fit she will simply be consumed by a vortex of fire and disappear in to the air leaving behind a puff of glittery smoke...only to reappear again Pheonix like and ask for a glass of purified icelandic icewater garnished with a 1/6th inch half moon slice of peeled organic english cucumber with an identical slice of organic meyer lemon set at a 45 degree angle and a lavender straw to quench her now insatiable thirst
Posted by: Ali | Mar 28, 2008 9:53:01 AM
This was the hardest one yet ... but I give Beyonce the slightest edge. J.Lo dresses like a crazy woman (I read somewhere once that when she was staying at the Four Seasons in New York, there were 20 vans full of clothes that had to be unloaded for her. And she was there for maybe a month.) But apart from that monstrous "pregnancy-hiding" bell-bottoms outfit from her last tour, she generally doesn't make her body look worse than it is with her fug. Beyonce, on the other hand, goes with fug that makes her look worse than she actually does.
Posted by: lilywise | Mar 28, 2008 10:02:07 AM
I can't fug the woman who inspired me to rent Monster-in-Law and watch the entire thing.
Posted by: Natasha | Mar 28, 2008 10:14:54 AM
I think the race is super close but at least Jennifer Lopez has some modicum of trying to make it work even if its super crazy, whereas Beyonce is usually (as one christian Siriano from project runway says) is a hot mess in some of her trannylicious outfits!
Posted by: nelly | Mar 28, 2008 10:16:30 AM
I am so over both these bitches, but J.Lo takes it, if only because her particular brand of fug has such a foul reek of . . . smug. Sub par fashion line, weak music, terrible, terrible movies - is there anything she legitimately does well, besides promote the hell out of everything she does badly? And whore out her personal life for the sheer joy and solace of attention, apparently, because what is she even stumping for right now? Hilarious posts at GFY are the only thing that give her existence any meaning.
Beyonce . . . my god woman, fireyourmotherkthxbai, but at least you can sing.
Posted by: hollywould | Mar 28, 2008 10:18:26 AM
I'm so bummed that these powerhouses of fug had to face off so early in the sweet 16. I think they both could qualify for the final 2. That said, I had to go with B as every once in a while I find myself liking what J Lo has worn. Plus, B is dressed by her mother.
Posted by: SheRa | Mar 28, 2008 10:26:04 AM
Well, I thought this decision was going to be painful, and then I read everyone's comments, so now the headache worsens. Suffice to say, both are completely wretched. Beyonce dresses like roller-derby Barbie on steroids. Mama or not, the binding bedazzled outfits MUST STOP. NOW. "Foxy Cleopatra": JUST A CHARACTER! That being said, J-Lo's brand of fug is much more toxic in that she seems so very proud of it--and herself in general--despite all evidence to the contrary. People, she was an "ILC" dancer who got a completely lucky break with "Selena," and ever since she has imposed her self-important brand of lackluster "talent" on us with a string of VERY bad movies (think: "Enough"... how appropriate) and several ho-hum albums that make me wonder why everybody keeps picking on Paula Abdul anyway. Add to that JFTB's penchant for Marital Musical Chairs (yikes--MA's the BEST she can do?), you've got yourself the High Priestess of Fug. (But don't tell her--she'd take it as a compliment.)
Posted by: Laurie | Mar 28, 2008 10:27:19 AM
Tough, tough bracket.
This is like a Joan Crawford v. Bette Davis smackdown-caliber bracket. These ladies are the fuggin' Divas of Fug!
Posted by: JupiterPluvius | Mar 28, 2008 10:28:44 AM
Beyonce will always win these matchups and you can chalk that up to just two words: Tina Knowles. That woman is the Fug-Mastah!
Posted by: Groovymarlin | Mar 28, 2008 10:28:46 AM
Crescentaluna-
"Let's remember House of Dereon (hideous name!) would prolly not even EXIST had not J.Ho done it FIRST."
Deréon is B's maternal grandmother's maiden name. Let's not insult the family name, okay? Like many or most other fashion houses, regardless of whether you like the designer or not, bears their family name. A little class here, folks. That said, Agnéz Deréon MIGHT be rolling in her grave now. I can't imagine a Creole woman such as herself would approve of gold-plated leggings.
Anyhoodle, I can't vote this round. I like J.Lo and B too much, for various reasons. But Beyonce v. Posh is an interesting prospect.
Posted by: Elisabetta | Mar 28, 2008 10:29:34 AM
J.Lo all the way! She's married to an ACTUAL vampire, and when she stood next to him in those ridiculous BILLOWING maternity outfits, he appeared to be shrinking by slow, painful increments. The entire thing was morbidly fascinating...like she was sucking away his life force. Wait, does that make HER the vampire now? At any rate, she deserves the fug, for life-force-sucking-skills if nothing else.
Posted by: PunkRizz | Mar 28, 2008 10:30:02 AM
B-fug takes it....will someone please take the fugging B-Dazzler away from her mom?
Posted by: Jennstar | Mar 28, 2008 10:30:58 AM
I have to go with Beyonce on this one...she actually sells the fug! J Lo may have some spectacular misses but also some stunning winners.
Posted by: gala | Mar 28, 2008 10:35:59 AM
I had to go with Jenny (from the block) because really it isn't Beyonce who is fugging herself it's her crazy MOM! Can we blame the girl for being afraid to say no? Imagine what outfits she'd have to wear if mommy dearest was angry with her!
Posted by: Mel | Mar 28, 2008 10:40:13 AM
they both look equally fug'd out
but i think beyounce is more fugalicious
Posted by: greycellsinxs | Mar 28, 2008 10:42:57 AM
I'd say they're equals in the fug department, but the write-ups for J. Lo are always so hilarious that I have to vote for her just because it cracks me up more.
Posted by: Alli | Mar 28, 2008 10:46:50 AM
I'm sorry, ya'll. J.Lo's fashion sense is so aggressively retarded she fugs circles around Beyonce, whose defiant lack of taste is almost an artistic statement...you know, like Ru Paul. I get the feeling Beyonce knows she's deep in fembot-gone-haywire territory, whereas J.Lo's so chock full o' crazy she looks like she's filming a prequel to Sunset Boulevard.
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | Mar 28, 2008 10:51:57 AM
As many commenters have pointed out, this is quite a showdown. Who's the bigger Diva? Who owns her fug more outright? Who dresses herself and who is dressed by her mother? Who has been married the most? Who would Christian Siriano consider the biggest hot tranny mess? In the end I voted for Beyonce because that girl does not know her body shape and size and consistently does not dress for it. She's always always always looking uncomfortable in her fugilicious, far too short outfits, and J.Lo at least knows what he body type and shape actually is for fugly outfits and owns it. PLUS, I can actually recall a few J to the L-O outfits that looked absolutely stunning on her; the same cannot be said for Ms. Knowles.
Posted by: Rachelle | Mar 28, 2008 10:54:07 AM
I was so into voting J-Lo here, and I did, but I'm having serious second thoughts. Part of this is because I forgot about "House of Deréon" and how whoever named that doesn't understand how accents work. Did they not sound it out and discover that it sounds like "De Rayon"?
Man. I am torn. Maybe I need to vote again, for Beyonce, to even things out.
Posted by: kerminator | Mar 28, 2008 10:54:11 AM
I gotta give it to Beyonce because even though they both wear crazy diva bonkers stuff, and they both have lovely figures, Beyonce is the one who frequenly wears things that create phantom pounds or cut her all wrong, plus it's clearly in the genes. Even Lopez, whom I semi-loathe, finds room in her clothes for all that ass.
Posted by: Judgeofug | Mar 28, 2008 11:07:43 AM
I hate to bring in the sports tie-in but this is like the UNC vs. Duke of Fug Madness. And I am a bit shocked that J. Lo is not in the lead. Does anyone remember the too-long pants? The pregnancy mini-skirts / stiletto heels? J.Lo has shocked me way more often than Beyoncé and she is 100 % shameless. Beyoncé is just a kid, let the Fly Girl carry the Fug torch to the final four!
Posted by: sarah | Mar 28, 2008 11:12:25 AM
Beyonce - because nobody should wear that many sparkles and not work full-time in Vegas. The 80's called, it wants the bedazzler back.
Posted by: Steph | Mar 28, 2008 11:17:53 AM
The thing is, Beyonce manages to carry off some of the psycho-diva outfits. J.Lo just looks like she ought to go straight to Vegas.
Posted by: Kris | Mar 28, 2008 11:18:14 AM
These two are quite different in approach even though they may be evenly matched fuggers. I have to go with J.Lo because I'm old, and I remember all those outfits from the '70s. It's just so depressing to see them all trotted out again by this diva. God we were frumpy.
Posted by: Susanelle | Mar 28, 2008 11:21:21 AM
Gosh, this was a really tricky one. Usually I know straight off who I'm going to punt for, but in this case I had to assess all of the evidence. I had to go for JLo in the end because, although Beyonce is mighty over-spangly for my liking, I don't think she has displayed the consistency of bad taste that JLo has. I mean - every single outfit that woman wears is ill chosen for some reason. Beyonce does at least look nice sometimes...I spose...
Posted by: Lindsay | Mar 28, 2008 11:30:35 AM
First off, I can't even believe that J-Lo made it this far in the game. Although she sometimes fugs, haven't we all, a majority of the time she looks gorgeous!! Beyonce, on the other hand, couldn't find a normal looking outfit if it was staring her in her big, newly bleached blonde head. She should stop letting her mom style her and pay for someone who know to step away from the sequin glue gun and fishtale dresses.
Posted by: Hilary | Mar 28, 2008 11:49:14 AM
Hah poor Becks looks really lost in that photo like he doesn't understand why attention isn't focused squarely on him where it belongs. It's like a Diva Blackhole. I'm surprised the universe hasn't folded in on itself at that event.
I had to go Beyonce because while J-Lo is definitely fug, she's still kind of elegant. Beyonce just comes of as the even tackier Walmart version.
Posted by: Jessie | Mar 28, 2008 11:51:13 AM
I had to go with La Lopez, because of the incredibly broad variety of her fug. That woman can take any category of clothing and fug it all up. Beyonce is a boring fugger, though. Every fug is the same fug. I even felt like I had seen the gold lame shorts before.
Plus, J.Lo's going out of her way to get a mancessory from Transylvania has to count for something, doesn't it? I mean, even Beyonce stays in the country.
Aside: Beyonce always struck me as the kind of girl who really LIKES ShinyHoochieMamaWear. I don't care if her mom does make it. She's the one who thinks she looks hot in it.
Posted by: Naomi | Mar 28, 2008 11:51:19 AM
This is difficult. Two fugstar divas in a face off, one to end all face offs, lest we find Miss Peldon & Bai Ling herself in the top two. What a beautiful and yet difficult day that will be.
On the subject of Beyonce & J.Lo, I'm putting my vote in for Beyonce. No good reason, but now I keep thinking how fugtastic it would be to create a hybrid of these two. Beyonc Lo? J. Once? Only that could beat Peldon.
Posted by: Nama | Mar 28, 2008 12:07:21 PM