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March 27, 2008

Fug Madness 2008: Madonna, Sweet 16

Due to daylong technical problems that we've since resolved -- yay! -- the Madonna bracket didn't go up on time, and then briefly appeared with a malfunctioning jump post. To compensate, we'll leave the comments and the voting open through most of Friday. Thanks for your patience! Comments are working on all other brackets again also.

(2) JENNIFER LOPEZ vs. (6) BEYONCE

We love it when divas collide. And NOT FOR THE FIRST TIME:

THAT'S not an awkward photo. For the love of God, I can understand why you might want to ice each other out, but WHY IGNORE BECKS? He's so beautiful. Give that man a little face time. That being said, both of our contestants look lovely -- if affected by RAGING BITCHFACE -- here, if you can ignore the fact that Beyonce's dress seems to have a tail. In fact, as one of our commenters noted earlier in the tournament, both of these woman are actually naturally very beautiful. And yet they chose to wear items just as:

This crazy get-up looks positively bland compared to the wackadoo shenanigans Beyonce's gotten up to in the past, like her Cocktail Waitress/Figure-Skater outfit,  or her OTHER Cocktail Waitress/Figure-Skater outfit, or her formal camo-wear, doesn't it?

Interestingly, at the exact same event, we were treated to:

CRAAAAAY. Also kind of awesome. Kind of like...Beyonce. And, you know....EVERYTHING ELSE SHE'S EVER WORN. EVER. Including her current crazy/awesome spread in People, in which she gambols around her estate with her new babies, looking like any other new mother of twins in a taffeta gown, heels, and elaborate updo. You know. Like you do.

Posted by H & J at 08:38 PM in Fug Madness | Permalink

Comments

I can't fug J.Lo as there is something so fascinating about her fashion choices.

Posted by: Genevieve | Mar 27, 2008 8:44:36 PM

I'm going to go with Beyonce. I feel that some of her clothing verges on tacky and over the top while J.Lo can be a bit wacky but her intentions are good and she seems to want to appear more "avante garde".

Posted by: Kay | Mar 27, 2008 8:52:35 PM

J Lo's Rhoda Morgenstern head shmata gives her the final edge she needs to win this whole competition.

Posted by: Vera Charles | Mar 27, 2008 8:54:36 PM

They daren't really look at Becks. You know Posh will cut a bitch, even if she is comprehensively dwarfed by them physically.
This is a REALLY hard face-off. Especially since you've only just now (with this photo) proven to me that they ARE two separate people.
I'm going with Beyonce because her family is such a fug enabler. A Fug Lowjack. Almost a Fug ball and chain, dragging her forever downward.
She'll never escape, is what I'm sayin. So she can't ever improve.

Posted by: Loob | Mar 27, 2008 8:54:44 PM

Good god--50%! It's a tie! Wow. May the best fugger win. I have to say, the Sweet 16 is so tough, y'all. I think my head my explode next round. There's such a huge body of work to deal with here.

Posted by: Booge | Mar 27, 2008 9:04:50 PM

I think it has to go to Beyonce. The House of Dereon, people! She just doesn't wear the fug, she creates it: http://www.dereon.com/

Posted by: Julie | Mar 27, 2008 9:06:55 PM

Yeah, there's a ton of stuff(years of 'work') to consider here. I suggest that in the future fug madness should keep the material to that of the previous year only. Rock on!

Posted by: AZmom | Mar 27, 2008 9:09:19 PM

Alright, since I could not post my comments on the other bracket threads due to tech problems I shall post them here:

Fergie vs. Peldon
That was so difficult. Both fug it up in ways that are unreal but in the end I had to go with Fergie Fug. Fergie gets more action than Peldon so more are witness to her fug. But Peldon is so scrappy. I see the writing on the wall and it says "Peldon IS Fug". Fergie is a man who tries so hard to be a woman and she pees herself - ON STAGE. If that ain't fug I don't know what is.

Peldon has good game though and I do believe she will take it all. Fergie maybe more fug (she gets my vote) than Peldon but it seems no one takes out the Patron Saint of Fug. God is truly on Peldon's side.

Paris vs. B. Murphy
Ms. Restlyane 2008's fug run is over. Paris all the way, baby. Paris' fug simply overwhelms B. Murph's fug and lips. Fug advantage (too easy) - Paris.

Chole vs. P. Price
I wanted double P to go all the way but she does not and can not compete with the fug force that is Chloe. I'm sorry P. Price that your run has come to an end. The fug force is strong with you though and you will be back. I'm counting on it.

Beyonce vs. J. Lo (cuz b*tch don't wanna be called that no mo')
Any woman, under the age of 60, who can go out in a turban (who is not Liz Taylor or Joan Collins) gets my vote. Anyone who accessorizes with the undead (I'm talking to you Marc) gets my vote. Anyone who takes her sense of fashion seriously and still fugs it up gets my vote.

Beyonce brings fug but only because she lets her mommy dress her. Lopez is fug because she knows that she is a diva and that is how a diva is supposed to dress. Fug advantage (just narrowly) - Lopez.

Posted by: jen310 | Mar 27, 2008 9:16:27 PM

I can't believe this race is practically 50/50!!! Someone up there made a good point with that House of Dereon foolishness she creates, not to mention the fact that Beyonce always looks like she's been shopping at Dollar Store Couture.

Posted by: Katherine | Mar 27, 2008 9:20:33 PM

I have to agree with an earier post - Beyonce is more fug because her mama makes her clothes for her. That has to count for something.

Posted by: caroline | Mar 27, 2008 9:21:47 PM

Is your last name really Cocks? Is that why you have such a biting wit, because you have been fending off "cocks" jokes your entire life?

If this is the case, you are not alone. There is a girl in one of my classes named Crystal Metham, and I actually do know someone named Charlie Hunt...C. Hunt.

Posted by: Monica | Mar 27, 2008 9:22:14 PM

I kinda lost respect for Beyonce when she admited she starved herself for Dreamgirls. She used that word-- starved. But looking back, I'm mystified why I had much to begin with... she should sing and let people who dress others for a living do their thing.

Posted by: DC | Mar 27, 2008 9:24:02 PM

I have to go with J. Lo. I mean, Beyonce's mom dresses her, which is bad, but whose mother *hasn't* made some awkward sartorial choices for her? J.Lo, on the other hand, has no excuse. She dresses *herself* this way. on *purpose* to *hurt* us.

Posted by: Maus | Mar 27, 2008 9:26:15 PM

I am sorry.
Truly.
This is just too tough.
What fug! I am having trouble seeing after those flashbacks!
Wow - I had forgotten just how fugly their wardrobes had been - thank you for the reminder.
How to decide, eh, how to decide?
Flip a coin?
Split them in half? oh, sorry, that's the whole Solomon thingy isn't it?
I KNOW.

House. of. Dereon.

Stop it before it breeds.

Posted by: Neurophilly | Mar 27, 2008 9:27:16 PM

I had to vote Beyonce if only because of that one dress J.Lo wore to the Oscars. Absolutely beautiful. And while J.Lo's looks may be kooky, she usually manages to carry them to a certain degree. Beyonce, on the other hand, usually looks...shiny. And pantsless.

Posted by: Candyland | Mar 27, 2008 9:31:37 PM

My mom made me clothes that I was only allowed to wear in the backyard. When I was four. How old is Beyonce? Old enough to get her own clothes or hire her own stylist, no nepotism required.

Posted by: Susan | Mar 27, 2008 9:33:55 PM

Positively...torn...these two were meant to be in the same contest, are we completely sure they are not the same person? Their fug seems so symbiotically similar...their personalities so similarly huge, and yet...

Sorry about all the ellipses, but they represent my synapses; this may be a more difficult fashion choice than what to wear to an ex's wedding. I had to go with Beyonce, for all the gold, nay, metals, in her clothing. My turmoil is increased since viewing that JLo People spread which is just that, it seems to go on...and on...and on...yuk, and that nursery! Come to think of it, it looks like Beyonce decorated, whoa!

Posted by: Cecily | Mar 27, 2008 9:34:33 PM

...

I have to give it to B, mostly because I'm going to SMACK the person who decided to put the music controls at the bottom of the layout for her fashion line.

Under, I might note, the ad for the House of Deréon class rings.

BEYONCÉ. DESIGNED. CLASS. RINGS. FOR. HER. FASHION LINE.

I don't care if J.Lo invited you to look up her lady cave in that picture that's in the game post - the amount of fugtential in having a House of Deréon class ring pretty much blows the 10 years of La Lopez away. (Okay, she's been famous for about 20, but she didn't start getting serious about fugging until like 10 years ago.)

(To be fair, if I saw a girl wearing any of B's clothes, I wouldn't chase her away. I'd also rather listen to Beyoncé than J.Lo sing, and she earned some goodwill for Dreamgirls - though I heard she was a heinous bitch about the entire thing. But B is still crazy when she dresses.)

Posted by: Chris | Mar 27, 2008 9:36:21 PM

If you missed out on commenting on other posts, please go back and post your thoughts there rather than in here -- this is just for comments on THIS matchup. Thanks so much!

Posted by: Heather | Mar 27, 2008 9:37:37 PM

I think, perhaps, I am blinded by the brilliant hilarity that is the commentary from the ladies, but how can this match go to anyone but our darling J-Lo? My only request is that when she expresses laughter it comes out as the Spanish "Ja Ja Ja" rather than the English "Ha Ha Ha", unless you're playing up how güera she really is.

Posted by: jenerjun | Mar 27, 2008 9:37:49 PM

In Re: Chloe - I finally figured it out - she has a two fold issue here, both prompted by a deep urge to overcompensate for 1. here severe but-ugliness and 2. her character on TV. Has anyone seen Big Love? I imagine her thinking, I am going to wear this flowered jumpsuit with leopard ballet clippers to prove that I am a fashion forward trendsetter, when in fact all she is is wife #2 in Sandy Utah. And she thinks we couldn't figure her out. Lucy doesn't need the "Doctor is In" sign up to diagnose this fashion wacko. Her Fug Reigns Supreme!

Posted by: simone | Mar 27, 2008 9:40:05 PM

Oh, you mentioned the People spread. I feel so sorry for those kids. BOTH of them look like Undead Daddy. Hopefully the little girl will shake it off and take after Mommy in looks.

Posted by: Julia | Mar 27, 2008 9:41:03 PM

*By "her clothes," I mean the stuff that I clicked through on the House of Deréon website. Which has forced me to abuse the use of the accented e. If I saw a chick walking down the street in gold-plated Balenciaga leggings, I'd have to do a double take before dropping to the ground in laughter.

Come to think of it, if I saw a chick performing in gold-plated Balenciaga leggings, especially if she paired it with a gold-plated bra? I'd probably drop too. OH WAIT.

Posted by: Chris | Mar 27, 2008 9:43:18 PM

*head implosion*

I have no idea. JLo owns her fug. Like Posh, she is splendid. Her crazy also extends beyond 'rolled in a pile of sequins and bits of Tyra's hair', which I enjoy. Beyonce, on the other wing, is overwhelmed by her fug. She doesn't own it, she blames it on a second personality called Sascha.

So, is it fuglove or fughate?

This may well be the toughest match yet.

Posted by: Rach | Mar 27, 2008 9:45:34 PM

My dislike of Beyonce swayed my vote a little but the bottom line still stands. Her mom makes her clothes! And they're usually some form of gold lamé! That's just not on.

Posted by: Mari | Mar 27, 2008 9:46:25 PM

The comments to this entry are closed.

 

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