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March 28, 2008

Fug Madness 2008: Cher, Sweet 16, Continued

(2) SHARON STONE vs. (11) JULIETTE LEWIS

This ought to be interesting. We're of the mind that there are two sorts of fugs. One is the tragical misguided Tara Reid-y kind, where you're just like, "oh, HONEY. NO." And then there's the over-the-top, wackadoo crazy diva kind, where you're more like, "oh, my God. No. AND YET YES."  One could argue that at least one of these women is the latter, and possibly both.

The no-questions-asked diva, of course, is Sharon Stone, who is SO GLORIOUS that I must put her after the jump (you MIGHT be able to see her nipples a bit. Not in a way that your boss will come swanning past your desk and then do a swift, angry U-turn, asking you loudly, "ARE THOSE NIPPLES?" but rather in a way where you think, "are those...oh, Sharon."):

See? Gorgeous genes surrounded by ENDLESS CRAZY: feathers, spats, nips, a skirt that was attacked by a rapid beaver* on the way to the Globes. Apparently, that beaver has a vendetta, as it brutalized her blazer on another occasion, and tried to gnaw out her left ovary on another.  Also, we can't mention this enough.

* a typo we found so amusing, we decided to leave it and may, in fact, adopt it as a nickname for Shazz

As for Juliette Lewis, some of our wise commenters have noted that Juliette gets kind of a pass because she's a wild rocker chick. To which I thought, "but is she REALLY?" Admittedly, I've never seen Juliette rock it out with the Licks, but her band always seemed to me like a kind of drawn-out vanity project that she works on because she's not getting good acting roles. I mean, she was nominated for an Academy Award.  She may certainly legitimately rock it out -- I hope she does, that would kind of awesome -- but I think most people think of her as a sort-of out-of-work actress who noodles around in jumpsuits for kicks. Nice work if you can get it.

HOWEVER. She is NOT performing here, that I can tell:

No matter how you slice it, that be crazy.

Posted by H & J at 09:00 AM in Fug Madness | Permalink

Comments

you need only compare those two pictures.

jebus sharon. look at the state of you!

Posted by: mox | Mar 28, 2008 9:03:34 AM

Juliette's fug is true and real. But, Sharon's is born of utter desperation. There is something sweet and touching about an old fugger. You just have to reward that kind of thing. Juliette, you will be 80 years old some day like, Ms. Stone and you will get your turn then.

Posted by: Sharon | Mar 28, 2008 9:05:32 AM

Hi, I just wanted to let you know I read an article about this website in the Chicago tribune yesterday. It was really cool to see the faces of the fug girls! Keep up the good work.

Posted by: Anna | Mar 28, 2008 9:08:08 AM

I mean this in the best way possible, because she is indeed opera-fug, but Sharon looks like she personally skinned all those animals that she wears. Her crazy looks like it comes with a side of killing rage.

Posted by: Sara Clugage | Mar 28, 2008 9:10:58 AM

Juliette you have been outfugged - wait a few years (or decades) and you will be the grand dame of fug

Posted by: Jenn | Mar 28, 2008 9:12:51 AM

I think Juliette is one of those celebs that likes to dress in costume. Fug costume, but costume nonetheless. But Sharon is just dressing herself with extremely bad taste. She is wackadoodle defined.

Posted by: Nashvegas | Mar 28, 2008 9:12:57 AM

It's got to be Sharon Stone - mostly because she looks like she's thinking, "GOD, I'm FABULOUS" when she wears her insane get-ups. Juliette Lewis looks like she's thinking, "Look-a me! I'm all crazy and stuff!" Fug's at its best when it's completely unaware of its fug-ness.

Posted by: Kimberley | Mar 28, 2008 9:14:21 AM

Sharon is old enough to know better! That automatically makes her the fugliest! Please girl stop dressing like you're in your 20's.....and nuts...

Posted by: Kristen | Mar 28, 2008 9:15:18 AM

I will vote for Sharon because, while Juliette is no doubt crazy with the fug, she seems to try too hard at times. And she can actually pull it together and act if she has too, rather than just flash her ladyparts.

But really it does come down to the fug and based on the body of work Sharon takes it.

Posted by: Indiana | Mar 28, 2008 9:16:04 AM

Stone is the high priestess of Fug. Poorly dressed celebrities everywhere must seek her out for guidance.

Posted by: GC | Mar 28, 2008 9:16:23 AM

Oh, come on. No one can outfug Juliette!

Posted by: Joan | Mar 28, 2008 9:17:00 AM

Had to go with Sharon, b/c she looks like she had an air of Class, and then let that beaver chase it off.

Posted by: Alex | Mar 28, 2008 9:17:19 AM

I think it was Sharon's fur that tipped my vote in her direction. She lives in LA for fug's sake, is it necessary to be constantly swathed in dead animals?

If the voting were for all-out crazazy, that would have to go to go to Juliette. She's nuts, and I'm always a little scared of her.

Posted by: Miss Em | Mar 28, 2008 9:21:38 AM

Sharon is CLEARLY fugly, both on the inside, and out. Also, she's batshit crazy, AND I've seen her Britney. Triple points.

And, I sort of love Juliette and that whole wild quasi-rockeresque thing she's got going on.

Posted by: Lori | Mar 28, 2008 9:22:06 AM

NO!!! Sharon Stone can't win this match! She may be awful, but at least she's never donned a red satin feather head thingy. Come on, who else can make you laugh like that?!

Posted by: Elaine | Mar 28, 2008 9:24:43 AM

Juliette - for this reason alone:
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2004/12/fugliette_lewis.html

Posted by: Lori Magno | Mar 28, 2008 9:25:16 AM

I like Juliette, I do. I feel like acting was the thing that she did prior to finding her true calling. Sort of like some of us waitress or work at the mall--she is garish, pretentious, and awesome. Sharon, however, is just filled to the brim with bad taste. She came into the store I worked at once and bought the ugliest brooch we had in the discount case (I think it said "baby" on it), and had a hole in her black stockings, and proceeded to make out all over the jewelry displays...

Posted by: sweetpea | Mar 28, 2008 9:25:43 AM

oy, how could you not link to this little number as exhibit C? stone takes the crown.

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2006/10/why_are_all_the.html

Posted by: jen | Mar 28, 2008 9:27:37 AM

Sharon Stone reminds me of a crazy aunt I have; she wears rediculous things and drinks a lot (and I suspect chows a fair amount of pills), but I love seeing her at family functions because she'll sit next to you and say bitchy things about your third cousin whom neither of you can stand. HOWEVER, she's still much fuglier than Juliette, whom I did see in concert and can say that she's marginally talented. So it's S-Squared all the way.

Posted by: pia | Mar 28, 2008 9:28:27 AM

Have to go with Juliette on this one. Sharon is crazy, but at least she doesn't look kinda constantly greasy and scurvy like Juliette does.

Posted by: Sheri | Mar 28, 2008 9:28:28 AM

Oops. By "rediculous" I meant "ridiculous". Silly me.

Posted by: pia | Mar 28, 2008 9:30:07 AM

What did I say, people????? Juliette Lewis and Bai Ling at the end!!! Sure, Sharon Stone is crazy, but compile all the pictures of Juliette together and you've got pure and simple Fug.

Posted by: cwelk | Mar 28, 2008 9:30:29 AM

I feel really bad for actually saying this, but sometimes I feel like Juliette's biggest problem is her face. I mean, not that she's ugly (although if pressed I probably would describe her as "plain," but there's no shame in that). She is just always pulling these really awful faces. Maybe if she stood up straight and FAILED to look like she wanted to kill us all, she could actually rock some of her fashion stunts.

Posted by: lizling | Mar 28, 2008 9:31:13 AM

Gotta go with Juliette. First of all, if you've seen the movie "Strange Days" (and I don't recommend it), you've heard her "sing." She is not a singer.

Secondly, once...back in the mists of time, Sharon Stone totally rocked a simple Gap turtleneck at the Oscars, and looked gorgeous. And she raises a TON of money for AIDS charities. And every so often she looks fantastic.

Third, Juliette Lewis, when nominated for her very own Oscar, went in cornrows. Unforgivable.

Posted by: drdan | Mar 28, 2008 9:31:46 AM

Sharon *BRINGS IT*. Period. And she could take down both Peldons without batting an eyelash.

Posted by: Jola | Mar 28, 2008 9:36:33 AM

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