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March 28, 2008
Fug Madness 2008: Charo, Sweet 16, Continued
(2) BAI LING vs. (3) TARA REID
Oooh, boy. I love you guys. Look what you did! You created a Sweet 16 Clash of the Titans -- a strange, sloppy nutjob whose raison d'etre nobody can quite discern, and a strange, sloppy nutjob whose raison d'etre nobody can quite discern. It's poetic.
Indeed I'm inspired. This can mean only one thing: It's haiku time. Which is a lot like Hammer time, but with better pants.
Left photo: Splash News]
Tragic formalwear.
What's worse: polka-dot bra top
Or refried prom dress?
Two boobs and their boobs.
I want to give them sweaters.
Knit, Intern George, knit!
If that's them dressed up,
I'd hate to see them relaxed.
Wait: I spoke too soon:
[Photos: Splash News]
NEON OVERALLS?
But as a skirt? No, Bai, no!
You don't teach kids art!
So glad Tara's shirt
Explains what she's doing, or
I'd think she's at church.
Sad girl gets no work,
Desperate nutjob has no taste.
Pop quiz: Which is which?
Posted by H & J at 11:01 AM in Fug Madness | Permalink
Comments
Good lord, this is a hard one!
Posted by: guthriesmom | Mar 28, 2008 11:02:05 AM
I go with Bai. Tara could go to rehab and come out collected and unfugged, for all we know. Bai's just crazy.
Posted by: sarah | Mar 28, 2008 11:05:03 AM
Gotta go with Bai, just gotta!
Posted by: Jaimie-Lyn | Mar 28, 2008 11:05:07 AM
No contest.
Posted by: Susan | Mar 28, 2008 11:06:12 AM
Not only is it a polka dot bra top, but a SAGGING polka dot bra top! Somewhere in a forest, a 400 pound gay lumberjack is looking for his overalls.
Posted by: Christine | Mar 28, 2008 11:06:22 AM
Meh. Not really. Bai Ling's....awful. Tara Reid is just sad. She's too sad to fug almost. Bai Ling is just really, really terrible.
Love the Haiku. Love even more that you took the time and tried to do 5-7-5 syllable pattern but with a couple deviations, haha.
Posted by: Grant | Mar 28, 2008 11:06:23 AM
Tara is a sloppy nutjob, but Bai is the living incarnation of Fug. And I LOVE it.
Posted by: Alex | Mar 28, 2008 11:06:54 AM
I can't kick Tara when she's down - the slow downward spiral from American Pie to lopsided raison smuggler upsets me too much.
Fug is Bai's raison d'etre.
Posted by: Nicola | Mar 28, 2008 11:07:13 AM
Had to go with Tara. Bai Ling is insane and dresses insane on purpose. Tara thinks she looks awesome and yet fails miserably.
Posted by: Faith | Mar 28, 2008 11:07:34 AM
Bai is angling for attention via her clothes, (cf Gwen Stefani, Paris Hilton), whereas Tara is just lame... and sad... and fug, fug, fug.
I never thought I'd vote against la Ling, and yet, I just have. Go fig.
Posted by: carrie | Mar 28, 2008 11:08:09 AM
Bai is Classic Fug
Though Tara gives a good fight
Bai could win it all
Posted by: Jitterbugbaby | Mar 28, 2008 11:08:29 AM
Tara at least TRIES. I believe she has even had a well-played on here. But Bai. Bai is not from this planet. Bai is well and truly out to lunch, and is inexplicably drawn to the fug. And am I wrong, but in that photo above, is she wearing those overalls hanging down like low riders and no underwear? Hand on hips, DRAWING attention to that? Do I even want to imagine the back view? (no I don't. I just had lunch.)
Posted by: Tricia | Mar 28, 2008 11:09:57 AM
IT'S TOO MUCH FUG! TOOOOOOO MUCH! My brain feels like it's on fire!
Posted by: virginia | Mar 28, 2008 11:10:01 AM
OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD! What do I dooooo? Whom do I pick? This is the hardest choice ever.
Posted by: Pia | Mar 28, 2008 11:12:38 AM
Tara's wardrobe can be blamed on Jagermeister, while Bai Ling actually thinks she's cute. Bad taste sticks to Bai like white on rice. She wins.
Posted by: Whup-Ass Master | Mar 28, 2008 11:12:58 AM
Bai is crazy, wacky, loopy fug incarnate. Poor Tara just makes want to put my drink down.
I can't vote for anyone that makes me want to lay off the booze.
Posted by: Stitch | Mar 28, 2008 11:13:06 AM
By the way, love the haiku, girls!
Posted by: Pia | Mar 28, 2008 11:13:15 AM
This is getting so hard!!
Posted by: Melinda | Mar 28, 2008 11:13:51 AM
Yeah, I convinced myself that if you say "kindergarten" really fast, it counts as two syllables. But this morning I was like, "WHAT? No." Still, they're pretty close to 5-7-5.
Posted by: Heather | Mar 28, 2008 11:14:42 AM
Bai just does it for attention. I almost want to vote Tara to get rid of Bai, but ugh, she's just so awful I have to vote for Bai...
Posted by: Jolene | Mar 28, 2008 11:14:47 AM
I think Bai is the one to beat in this whole competition. Sure Tara is crazy and can generally fug it up with the best of them. But Bai is in a class (and a world) by herself.
Posted by: Indiana | Mar 28, 2008 11:15:01 AM
The formal picture of Tara really does look like a bad prom set up complete with cheesy, be-glittered background, overload of construction paper, and fake gold lame railing/hardwood flooring.
She is obviously going for the drunken prom-queen that just got done picking leaves out of her hair after "activities" behind the library and hurling the fifth of heaven hill that she downed in the limo on the way.
Bai is still winner simply because she is Tom Cruise level of insane.
Posted by: Melody | Mar 28, 2008 11:15:22 AM
I can't believe I just voted AGAINST Bai Ling, but the Fug of Tara Reid - the drunken, filthy, sloppy, tawdry, trashy, bad boob-jobbed fug of Tara Reid - was just too much to be ignored. I just want her to WASH, get some sleep, and stay out of the public eye until she loves herself enough to spend more than $25 on an item of clothing.
Posted by: Edith | Mar 28, 2008 11:16:39 AM
Oh dear Fug my eyes
Tara and Bai Ling are one
Tragic misguided
Posted by: Cecily | Mar 28, 2008 11:18:02 AM
This is basically a choice between the tramp and the chica loco. Tricky, cos I feel TR shouldn't be punished for being a tramp, and BL shouldn't be punished for being crazy. But, a crazy person can still dress nicely, so BL gets it.
Posted by: Lindsay | Mar 28, 2008 11:18:27 AM
This is not a hard choice! Tara Reid can't control her inflated boobies, but other than that she could probably be fixed up by a shower and a dose of rehab.
Ain't no rehab program on earth that could fix whatever Bai Ling has going on.
Posted by: kerminator | Mar 28, 2008 11:18:46 AM
Nips Akimbo aside
Bai Ling poised to dominate
So says my bracket
Posted by: mrs o | Mar 28, 2008 11:19:11 AM
I'm going with Bai because not just ONE of her personalities but ALL of them are so very fugly. How can Tara, nay ANYONE, compete with 100 (or however many she has-I'm sure we haven't seen them all) seperate facets of fug? Tara does actually wear some OK outfits sometimes, they just end up looking fugly when drapped over the Boobs of Horror.
Posted by: MARGARET | Mar 28, 2008 11:19:51 AM
I'm getting confused. Is being the fugliest something to aspire to? If so, then Bai should win, as she dresses to get attention. But I voted for Tara, because I feel that getting fugged should be a wakeup call. Tara needs help.
Posted by: Tara | Mar 28, 2008 11:19:59 AM
Excellent haikus all around.
"Knit, Intern George"
Indeed.
Posted by: Ellie | Mar 28, 2008 11:20:00 AM
At least Bai knows what she's doing. She is deliberately wearing things for attention and to show off the fact that she hasn't eaten for past 5 years except for maybe Slimfast. Tara Reid is just... well, I don't think that rehab would save her. She's our high school teen heart-throb who gets knocked up and marries the high school football quarter back and drinks a lot and forgets how to brush her hair--then, one day, she wants to try to dress herself again because she's done being selfless, but she's tragically forgotten how because she's been taking fashion tips from OK! and Bop! Magazine... but without the kid and ex-jock hubby. I fear I've read too far into Reid--regardless, her fug isn't going anywhere...ever.
Posted by: Kati | Mar 28, 2008 11:20:01 AM
I WORE those neon overalls with a hot pink tank top, and Birkinstock sandals to a Reggae festival in Miami in 1993
(seriously).
Thanks for the memories... It was a fun concert (Ziggy Marley played and we drank lots of Red Stripe), but it was 16 years ago -- Bai gets my vote.
Posted by: Stephanie | Mar 28, 2008 11:20:39 AM
Though this one is tough,
No one can argue that Bai
Is fug's Dark Mistress.
(With a tip of the hat to Miss V, a fellow commenter.)
Posted by: drdan | Mar 28, 2008 11:21:01 AM
My brain just exploded, y'all. I have spent way more time than I care to admit staring at the screen trying to choose. I have filled out job applications that have taken me less time than this decision is taking, and I still haven't made up my mind.
Posted by: lizling | Mar 28, 2008 11:21:51 AM
Ummm...and are those purple suede shoes with the polka dot outfit? Bai Ling FTW!!!
Posted by: nichole | Mar 28, 2008 11:22:08 AM
Bai Ling shows her bajingo and ta-tas on purpose while Tara Reid is just messy.
Bai Ling wins the fug for that.
Posted by: Genevieve | Mar 28, 2008 11:22:55 AM
Umm...I think I just went blind. This was hard.
I had to vote Bai, because she has so many personalities, and only one that is not fugly out of them all.
Posted by: Victoria | Mar 28, 2008 11:24:28 AM
Ms. Ling, of *course* ... though, gosh, Ms. Reid was certainly a contender.
Spring is in the air:
Frightful ugliness abounds;
Bleeding eyeballs blaze.
Posted by: djheydt | Mar 28, 2008 11:24:36 AM
Can't they team up and go into the next round as a Bai-Reid Superduo??? They'd be unstoppable, but in a good, bizarre, hilarious, car-crash-you-cant-look-away-from way.
Please?
Posted by: zoe | Mar 28, 2008 11:25:20 AM
Bai Ling man - she TRIES to look crazy. Poor Tara Reid is just trying to cope.
Posted by: Jess | Mar 28, 2008 11:26:19 AM
This one was the toughest yet. I thought I'd "ride" Bai all the way to the finals. But, what people said about the Phoebe P. in choosing Chloe over Phoebe--she's just doing it for attention--has to pertain to Bai. She's deliberately choosing to look like a slut for publicity. If she had the offer to remake a serious movie (an Asian Gone With the Wind) with a starring role (roll?), she'd clean up her act in a second. Tara is truly flying her flag (and clothes) at half mast because she's been round the bend, or bender, for some time. So, surpringly to me, I voted for Tara. Oooh, sorry Bai. Go give Phoebe a call and see if you can put together a production for a female Hardy(one) Boys.
Posted by: Al | Mar 28, 2008 11:29:33 AM
As my cousin would say, poor Tara is totes trag. Bai Ling, on the other hand, is fugtacular in every sense of the word. I really think she is going to take this whole thing.
Also, her episode of Angel was on TNT a couple of mornings ago, which I took as a sign.
P.S. Nice haiku everyone. The commenters here are something to behold.
Posted by: Kristin 18 | Mar 28, 2008 11:29:49 AM
Somehow, at a quick glance, I read "Bai Ling vs. UNITARD". And it seems right.
But Bai Ling wins, only because she goes the extra mile for the CRAZY as well as the skanky.
Posted by: Cristina | Mar 28, 2008 11:30:42 AM
Another tough-ey... I gotta go with my gut and say, "Bai all the way!"
Posted by: sinodame | Mar 28, 2008 11:31:29 AM
ahh I don't know... I went with Tara in the end though because no matter how crazy Bai Ling looks she still has some sort of personal style. Tara on the other hand just looks like white trash, and that is never a good look
Posted by: Matilda | Mar 28, 2008 11:32:21 AM
I voted for Tara because the fug also applies to her body; she's fugly when she's naked, thanks to the terrible cosmetic procedures. Bai Ling, however crazy-tacky, has at least either kept the scalpels from her body or has gotten really good work done.
Posted by: Amy | Mar 28, 2008 11:33:33 AM
Thank you for this supremely entertaining March Madness. I think now I'm finally understanding my husband's excitement over his basketball brackets.
Bai Ling just might come out the grand winner, although Peldon will be a tough competitor.
Posted by: Elizabeth | Mar 28, 2008 11:33:49 AM
I'm waiting for the day when a visionary director finally puts these two in a film together. I'm thinking wacky crime solving buddy caper, with a rom-com twist.
With Patricia Field in the costume department naturally.
Until then I must vote with my heart and choose Bai.
Posted by: Jen C-B | Mar 28, 2008 11:33:51 AM
I agree with the numbers thus far. Tara Reid is more messy than fug. She's just struggling in general. Bai knows exactly what she's doing and by the look on her face she always thinks she looks like a million bucks - she must be corrected.
Posted by: Virginia | Mar 28, 2008 11:34:51 AM
im sorry, but tara reid is but one fugging personality, whereas bai has several. no contest.
Posted by: cate | Mar 28, 2008 11:35:10 AM
Wow. This matchup really begs for a philosophical debate on the meaning of fug. I need a refresher.
Posted by: LZA | Mar 28, 2008 11:35:32 AM
I must go with Bai, for only one reason: I saw a photo (once, years ago), of a cleaned-up Tara Reid. She was in a lovely red dress, and looked beautifully retro-sexy.
Sure, it was only once. Sure, it wasn't recent. But I've never seen Bai Ling look good, ever. She fug-wins.
Posted by: Madge | Mar 28, 2008 11:36:18 AM
You that is Tara's party shirt...look how worn in it is!
Posted by: Darla | Mar 28, 2008 11:36:47 AM
These are getting more difficult. You've got two women, both of whom have shown themselves to be pretty and to clean up nicely... but don't. Two women, one busty and one small, but who both have a history of nip-slips. Two women who... well, I guess only one of them has more than two personalities that gets her in frequent trouble on these pages.
for this reason, friends,
my choice is clear: it is Bai
as the day is ling.
(er, long.)
Posted by: Kristan C. | Mar 28, 2008 11:38:36 AM
I had to vote for Bai. She's not drunk and stumbling out of clubs. At least Tara has an excuse.
Posted by: Tana | Mar 28, 2008 11:39:14 AM
Scary clothes on Bai,
But Tara drunk and messy;
Who is Fuglier?
Posted by: Pia | Mar 28, 2008 11:39:44 AM
Sometimes I can't decide. So sometimes I ask myself, "Which one would Bobby Trendy like best, if Bobby Trendy liked girls?" Sometimes that clears everything right up for me.
It has to be Bai.
Posted by: Courtney | Mar 28, 2008 11:43:25 AM
Looking at their fug files
nearly made me weep for fashion
Bai wins by a boob.
Posted by: Janice | Mar 28, 2008 11:44:20 AM
Such a hard decision, still can't decide.
One thing is for sure, LOVE THE HAIKUS. Kudos to everyone on the poetry.
Posted by: nancy | Mar 28, 2008 11:44:57 AM
You know if La Tara loses, she's going to go on tv again and whine about how much effort she puts into her look, why do those horrible people hate her, blah blah. And she'll wear something horrible doing it. I want to keep that from happening! Or do I?
Posted by: Ari | Mar 28, 2008 11:45:49 AM
ok this IS hard. I had to go with Tara because she could actually dress for success if she really wanted to. So I think her fug is worse. Bai is just insane, so she could plead fug by reason of insanity. Plus, when you fug her I always end up either spewing my coffee or peeing my pants from the laughter. I would truly miss that if Bai shaped up.
Posted by: Moongirl | Mar 28, 2008 11:46:07 AM
Right--it's body of work vs. work of body. This is really, really hard.
Springtime: breasts diverge;
Cerebrum melts, trickles off:
Wordless, naked bliss.
Posted by: Bags | Mar 28, 2008 11:46:10 AM
come on ppl its bai ling she can pull off anythin no matter how fugly
Posted by: elizabeth | Mar 28, 2008 11:46:25 AM
I went with Tara Reid, because atleast Bai's breasts are semi-supported. I mean, that boob job is TERRIBLE Tara.
p.s wear a bra
Posted by: Nicole | Mar 28, 2008 11:46:38 AM
I am all about the Bai. She has never disappointed me in her embracing of fug. Seriously, only the Ling, the Peldon, and the Sev can make me scream "WTF? Is she having a stroke?" every single time.
Tara (who disgraces my name and all other Tara's of good standing)is nothing but a keg wench. Once she realizes that it is not Rush Week anymore maybe she will dress as she should. We all know that she is capable of it, she had a streak of about five days dressing quite well.
Posted by: Tara | Mar 28, 2008 11:49:20 AM
I have to review the body of work and just got depressed scrolling through TR work. Bai on the other hand I never made it past the half way point, before my brain started to scream! Oh the horror!
Posted by: KatyMay | Mar 28, 2008 11:49:57 AM
I am all about the Bai. She has never disappointed me in her embracing of fug. Seriously, only the Ling, the Peldon, and the Sev can make me scream "WTF? Is she having a stroke?" every single time.
Tara (who disgraces my name and all other Tara's of good standing)is nothing but a keg wench, and we all know that keg wenches are pretty harmless and should be pitied when they are not sleeping with your boyfriend. Once she realizes that it is not Rush Week anymore maybe she will dress as she should. We all know that she is capable of it, she had a streak of about five days dressing quite well whereas B-Ling has not even had five seconds.
Posted by: Tara | Mar 28, 2008 11:51:01 AM
Bai dresses like that because she thinks she's hot.
Tara dresses like that because she wants other people to make her believe she's hot.
And that's just too sad for words. Have to go with Bai Ling.
Posted by: Tanya | Mar 28, 2008 11:56:00 AM
Perhaps if this was the Madonna or Cher bracket, I could go with Tara. Something about the girl nobody counted on coming out ahead and maybe winning an Oscar once she gets through the wacky, drunk, bad men period. But this is CHARO: determined crazy reigns!
Posted by: G-Ex | Mar 28, 2008 12:00:23 PM
Seriously Ladies, with all the work you have done on the bracket, I can't believe you had the time for the haikus. Well played indeed.
Posted by: Shelly | Mar 28, 2008 12:00:48 PM
To justify my vote for Tara (because it broke my heart not to vote Bai all the way)....she's just so fug. Bai actually likes the clothes she wears! She's clinically insane and we love her for it Tara? Go fug yourself girl.
Posted by: Mel | Mar 28, 2008 12:01:24 PM
Bai, all the way. No real choice, in my mind: Tara is just kind of sad, but Bai? Bai is *glorious*.
Posted by: s the all mighty | Mar 28, 2008 12:01:48 PM
Bai has to stay in
No one else can beat Peldon
Ling/Peldon finals!
Posted by: Catherine | Mar 28, 2008 12:01:48 PM
This one's just too easy. Oh, Bai Ling, you maniac.
Posted by: Manon | Mar 28, 2008 12:02:26 PM
Plastic surgery
Did not help Tara unfug;
nay, she looks worse.
Bai is clearly nuts.
Many personalities
LEad to bad fashion.
Posted by: Pia | Mar 28, 2008 12:05:19 PM
There once was a woman named Bai
Whose wardrobes could make people cry
At being bizarre
She ruled as a star
Though her acting career wouldn't fly.
Her competitor, Miss Tara Reid
Is slut-tacular--that's guaranteed
But despite her strange bod
She isn't as odd
And so Bai Ling is now in the lead!
Posted by: JupiterPluvius | Mar 28, 2008 12:07:18 PM
ONE of Bai's personalities must realize she is simply costuming herself. She isn't trying to look good, just be looked AT. Tara, on the other hand, is seriously trying to look good. Fug costumes are easy. Looking that bad while trying to look good is the definition of fugly.
No career, no class
Nips to southeast and southwest
Must drink to distract
Tara's got to win this thing!!
Posted by: Critter | Mar 28, 2008 12:11:09 PM
Tough category... if we were fugging body forms then Tara would win *shudders at image of FUBU'd belly button*
HOWEVER, it's Bai Ling for me, baby... if she doesn't win this thing outright then I'll eat my hat.
Posted by: Sundaeg1rl | Mar 28, 2008 12:19:32 PM
As all of the Sweet 16, this is the Rosemary's Choice of fug. They are both masters in their own brands. But Bai . . . she knows what she's doing. Tara's just - to me - sad.
A choice that is not,
Fug or not, there is no try.
Her Taradise? Lost.
Posted by: Cassie | Mar 28, 2008 12:23:26 PM
Here's your finals, right here:
http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2004/11/wonderfug_your_.html
Peldon/Ling. It was foreshadowed lo those many years ago. It's inevitable, people. And no one deserves it more than these two lunatic twits.
Posted by: Catherine | Mar 28, 2008 12:31:21 PM
Bai Ling all the way! Her fugdom has achieved near mythical status. Miss Reid is just another wannabe.
Posted by: Macy | Mar 28, 2008 12:32:56 PM
Queen Bai is regal
In her fugulosity.
Tara had no chance.
Posted by: Katherine | Mar 28, 2008 12:33:52 PM
This was an exhausting decision, but I voted for Tara.
Confucious once said,
If it ain't broke don't fix it,
(Poor lopsided boobs).
Posted by: Kristin | Mar 28, 2008 12:34:18 PM
My god, it's like "Sophie's Choice."
Posted by: Kim | Mar 28, 2008 12:35:18 PM
poor Tara she can't even win most fug : (
Posted by: alagirl | Mar 28, 2008 12:36:01 PM
Mere skankitude, or
oh-so-inscrutable East?
Tara Reid, withdraw!
Posted by: maria | Mar 28, 2008 12:36:46 PM
The only way I could decide in this contest, as well as several others, is to remind myself that "fug" is short for Fabulously Ugly. (Right? Anyone?) So while Tara would win for Ugly, Bai wins for Fabulous, and I have to go with fabulous every time.
That said: go Posh! You can take this whole thing!
Posted by: Summer | Mar 28, 2008 12:38:47 PM
Please don't take this as in anyway approval of Tara's taste. She's still FUGLY.
But if you looked at that stuff on hangers, you might think Tara was kind of sane. Bai finds stuff so ugly she doesn't even have to put it on for us to know she's crazy.
Posted by: EG | Mar 28, 2008 12:40:22 PM
I just can't decide!
Guess I'll close my eyes and click...
Darn it; PETA ad.
/Bai forever
Posted by: that bees chick | Mar 28, 2008 12:44:13 PM
Again I say, Bai Ling wins EVERY time.
Posted by: cwelk | Mar 28, 2008 12:50:38 PM
My vote goes to Bai because I truly feel she WORKS for it. Tara just slops around in messy stuff you can get anywhere, but Surely Ms. Ling didn't just pick that neon over-not-quite-all up off the rack? That's not luck, people. That's skill.
Posted by: Amy | Mar 28, 2008 12:54:33 PM
OMG, Catherine, you are SOOOO right. But let's not forget Ms. Sevigny...
Posted by: E | Mar 28, 2008 12:58:29 PM
Bai Ling dominates. Bring it home, B.Ling, you the FUG.
Posted by: jen310 | Mar 28, 2008 1:03:51 PM
Sweet Jesus...
Posted by: Andrew | Mar 28, 2008 1:06:49 PM
So Bai-Bi dresses like she got hit over the head. Gotcha. But did any of you ever consider the fact that she is INDEED an alien from another planet? She can 't help the way she dresses! All the data compiled on how earthlings dress is very haphazard what, with all the meteorites slamming into her planet all time. I mean, those guys have bigger fish to fry. So Bai-Bi shouldn't really be faulted too much. Ms. Reid on the other hand should be beaten down to her most basic elements and disposed of. Girlfriend has so many resources at her fingertips to guide her in a more fashion-forward direction. Yet she chooses to style herself in the style of drunk college girl with botched plastic surgery. Tell me, who's the bigger fashion offender? the extraterrestrial or the DOUCHEBAG?
Posted by: Noelle | Mar 28, 2008 1:07:45 PM
I kind of just feel bad for Tara. She used to be so cute (and still can be sometimes), but now seems like she's not all there in the head. Not that Bai is, but the multiple personalities make her wardrobe more interesting.
Posted by: Melissa | Mar 28, 2008 1:13:29 PM
I went with Bai for a few reasons
a) She seems like she would be truly honered if somebody told her she won this whole thing and would likely post about it on her website in broken english. I think finding word of this will just make Tara more sad and thus more drunk
b) Bai's is the kind of insane/colorful/fab/spaz dressing I love. I mean she always looks clean and showered and healthy so I don't feel bad laughing at her hilarious choices. Making fun of the Britney's and Tara's of the world is too crule
c) gotta vote for the most creative way to expose some skin (especially with all the options she gives0
d) I really wish she was my kindergarden art teacher, how fun would that have been?
Posted by: lambman | Mar 28, 2008 1:13:56 PM
I think that, next year when you have the GFY bracket, you need to add a White Trash "Wild Card" Bracket.
Posted by: Jenn C | Mar 28, 2008 1:14:36 PM
My money's on Bai for THE WIN!!
Posted by: heather | Mar 28, 2008 1:15:39 PM
even though i'm voting for her, I love Bai. she's just in her own little world, not realizing that she dresses like she's bat shit crazy. she also seems to really love her clothes (and i use that term loosely).
Posted by: jm | Mar 28, 2008 1:19:04 PM
This one was the hardest yet. You know when Tara looks good it's because she's clean and sober so is it really her fault when she's fug? Bai Ling is such a nutjob, you just know when she gets all fancied up that she thinks she looks delicious. Plus she finds it affirming that no one else would dress the way she does.
Posted by: Megan | Mar 28, 2008 1:24:01 PM
It was tough, but I had to fug Tara. Bai intentionally dresses like a thrift store in hell threw up on her, while Tara rocks hillbilly chic and thinks she's the poop.
Posted by: Jen | Mar 28, 2008 1:24:57 PM
I adore the Haiku!
Bai Ling rocks my visual sensors; it's like looking at a Tim-Burton-striperella-90's Barbies Kaleidoscope
Posted by: Autumn | Mar 28, 2008 1:26:54 PM
I had to vote Bai Ling, the way I look at it, Bai is actually a pretty girl, and she choose to wear stuff that make her look crazy. Tara, on the other hand, ruined her looks with booze and botched plastic surgery to a point where clothes that would otherwise look cute will be wasted on her.
Posted by: Leah | Mar 28, 2008 1:35:46 PM
In my heart, I know Bai Ling is the Fuggier of these two. But, dammit, Tara played Bunny Lebowski, and attention must be paid to the star of "Logjammin'."
Posted by: lisa | Mar 28, 2008 1:36:32 PM
I agree with Jen. Bai Ling dresses crazy on purpose, and it works for her. If it weren't for this site, I wouldn't even know who she is! That's not fug -- that's good business.
But Tara, oh, poor Tara, doesn't know what she's doing. And it's horrible.
Posted by: Gretchen | Mar 28, 2008 1:38:30 PM
Are you kidding me? Bai Ling is trying to look crazy to get attention. Tara Reid actually walks out the door thinking she looks nice! Tara is waaaaaaaay more fug.
Posted by: fionavb | Mar 28, 2008 1:41:55 PM
i can't even vote!
i can't do it!!!!!
Posted by: Dana | Mar 28, 2008 1:43:21 PM
Oh, I struggled with this one. In the end, Bai edges out Tara. I went with whose outfits totaled less yardage of material. By that yardstick, Bai wins by a mile!
Posted by: Jenni | Mar 28, 2008 1:44:33 PM
Tara's boobs remind me of that movie "The Jerk", with Steve Martin. Remember? He invents these glasses, and eventually everyone's eyes go totally askew, with one looking up at the ceiling and one looking at the person in the corner.
It's like her boobs wore those glasses.
Posted by: lelo | Mar 28, 2008 1:46:06 PM
Bai's overalls decided it for me. The fact that she can manage to show some skin while wearing the most ginormous pair of pants that I have ever seen proves that she is a genius of fug.
Posted by: jp | Mar 28, 2008 2:01:53 PM
the only way i could decide was to flip a coin. tara won.
Posted by: 2trees | Mar 28, 2008 2:02:06 PM
"There once was a woman named Bai"
Jupiterpluvius, you totally made my friday!
still giggling!
Posted by: Cara | Mar 28, 2008 2:02:19 PM
Bai Bai, Tara! Miss Ling has set new standards of Fug (remember those "fashion bandaids"?) - she's going all the way to the finals.
Posted by: ElizaB | Mar 28, 2008 2:08:54 PM
Bai, Pheobe, the Peldons - they dress this way on PURPOSE. Therefore, they are not truly fug to me. Tara gets the vote!
Posted by: Theresa | Mar 28, 2008 2:10:17 PM
Bai Ling is a freak. Period.
Posted by: Jenn | Mar 28, 2008 2:16:33 PM
Bai Ling is my favorite for the whole shooting match. I can understand the argument for other contestants, but she's got the Ur-fug thing covered. Her picture adorns the pages of the Oxford English Dictionary in the fu-- section (or it would, if the OED had an illustrated dictionary). And, frankly, she can still shock me -- that overall jumper in Margharita Day-Glo Green is mind-blowing.
Posted by: Magdalen Braden | Mar 28, 2008 2:20:26 PM
Bai Ling dresses crazily; Tara Reid dresses tackily. Bai knows she's dressing crazily. Tara has no clue. Clueless = much fuglier.
Posted by: Reb | Mar 28, 2008 2:21:31 PM
Bai, a million times over. Bai is going over the top on purpose, whereas Tara is going for normality, but has really crappy taste.
Posted by: becca | Mar 28, 2008 2:27:16 PM
I had to go with Bai Ling if only because I chose her as winning the whole thing anyway on my bracket. I guess I've got to be consistent. But you have to give it up to Tara. She's a fighter in fug department...
Posted by: Bloody Munchkin | Mar 28, 2008 2:29:46 PM
Elizab, you beat me to the 'Bai Bai, Tara' punchline!
Teresa, I think purposefulness is the quintessence of fug. We may have an essential difference of fug dogma here. And I feel bad for Tara, because just a couple of years ago, her face was fresh and career zipping along.
Oh yeah, I thought Bai was quite good on Lost, for what that's worth. She imbued that role of a Thai hooker/tattoo artist with a certain dignity and self-respect and that's quite a trick. No pun intended. Oh yeah, it's possible that the character isn't a hooker, but just dresses like one. My bad.
Posted by: tigerstripes | Mar 28, 2008 2:30:51 PM
Oh Lord!
Actually I voted for Tara:she is SleazyTrailorFug:
while Bai Ling is CarayzyNipSlipFug.
Nyeheheh...
Posted by: Emma | Mar 28, 2008 2:34:37 PM
Okay, I have to admit--I kind of like Bai's shoes in the first picture. That being said, they don't match that horrible outfit, which should have its own zip code in the Fug Hall of Fame.
Posted by: Melissa | Mar 28, 2008 2:35:43 PM
"knit Intern George, knit!" L.O.fuggin' L. I give it to Bai for the neon overalls ALONE. Tara is a young mess, I doubt if she has even 2 personalities. Also, remember Bai's New Years band-aids? The cape, underwear, and red velvet leg warmers? rest ma case.
Posted by: Becca | Mar 28, 2008 2:36:52 PM
"e-ku" (coming at you soon I'm sure)
u hatrs stop it
ill bet u r jelus 1s
i heart tara
This is the best March Madness EVER! My husband can watch all the basketball he wants now; keep it coming.
Posted by: missmardy | Mar 28, 2008 2:43:38 PM
If only Bai had dressed like this in her Tiananmen Square days. The Party would have been frightened into regime change, and Tibet would not be in the mess it is today. She is the Empress of Fug, and her power is not to be messed with. One vote for the MOTHERLAND!
Posted by: zorazero | Mar 28, 2008 2:46:13 PM
gosh, i think bai ling looks sort of fabulously strange and awesome, whereas tara just looks wretched. so tara is worse...
Posted by: pippa | Mar 28, 2008 2:47:22 PM
Your most brilliant post - Ever! (And that's saying a lot..) Well played ladies.
Posted by: Teri | Mar 28, 2008 2:47:35 PM
Oh, dear sweet lord
Bai's shoes are in my closet
What does it all mean?
Posted by: Cateau | Mar 28, 2008 2:53:42 PM
Oh god oh god. I was so worried! SO WORRIED! Pitting my Bai against Tara Reid had me all a quiver with fear that my sweet precious cape wearing wackadoo would somehow lose. I was all set to climb atop a soap box and preach the gospel of Ling.
Or at least to go on and on about how Bai CHOOSES what she wears ON PURPOSE and not because she's been out binge drinking all night and grabbed the first thing that didn't smell like vomit.
And if Tara Reid can't stop Bai then NOTHING CAN!!! MUAHAHAHA!!!
Posted by: James | Mar 28, 2008 3:28:06 PM
C'mon, guys! Vote Reid! At least Ling's things look clean and paid for.
Posted by: susanelle | Mar 28, 2008 3:33:52 PM
Listen, Bai's got attitude. Tara just has NO TASTE!
Posted by: Rhonda | Mar 28, 2008 3:33:52 PM
This one is Bai Ling - while I thought it would be harder - I had only to remember the red carpet walk Tara Reid did when she exposed her breast - and oddly shaped nipple - to the world. The sad truth is that were it not for that slip of the dress - she looked very pretty and classy that evening - something bai ling may never be able to do.
Posted by: Ricky | Mar 28, 2008 3:49:54 PM
This is tough, I mean, Tara is well, Tara,
and totally tasteless, and her weight, and everything else,
but Bai Ling, is Bai Ling, and you just can't go against
that kind of Fug.
Posted by: Melinda | Mar 28, 2008 3:50:19 PM
I voted for Bai Ling because at least Tara never showed up to an event with band-aids on her knees made up as accessories.
Posted by: Alicia | Mar 28, 2008 4:04:01 PM
I love the all the fug haikus! The commenters are almost as hilarious as the fug girls themselves, which is high praise indeed. Anyway, is anyone else strangely intrigued by the idea of Bai as a wacky elementary school art teacher? She would be right at home in a finger-painted smock and play-doh shoes! I had to vote for her...I can't wait for the epic Bai/Chloe showdown...
Posted by: MeganB | Mar 28, 2008 4:11:08 PM
Bai and Chloe at the end! My brain might explode!
Posted by: BrutallyHonestBabes | Mar 28, 2008 4:19:16 PM
Bai clinched this win a month ago when she wore Happy New Year Band-aids on her shins... gotta love that fug!!
Posted by: Eliza | Mar 28, 2008 4:21:26 PM
Tara is tragic, orange, sloppy, greasy, smelly, sad, untalented, and seems to have some SERIOUS issues in here chestal region.
But, B. Ling... is a HEINOUS MESS.
Posted by: Lori | Mar 28, 2008 4:32:06 PM
I picked Tara because Bai Ling at least owns a hairbrush.
Posted by: Spacelamb | Mar 28, 2008 4:42:15 PM
I actually found myself chanting "Bai Ling! Bai Ling!" as I voted for her.
Bai, you charming freak
The Fug Girls made me love you
Dumplings? What was THAT?
Posted by: Rudy | Mar 28, 2008 4:48:23 PM
I vote for Tara, because when Bai wears something classy she looks cute, whereas Tara always looks dirty even when she wears nice clothes.
Posted by: Laura | Mar 28, 2008 4:48:53 PM
I saw in the paper a couple weeks ago that Bai Ling got arrested for shoplifting. This means somewhere out there, a Bai Ling mug shot exists.
Please, for the love of all that is fugly, find that photo.
Posted by: Maria | Mar 28, 2008 4:55:53 PM
Holy crap this is REALLY HARD!!
I once saw Tara Reid look really cute at an awards show - I actually think it was a Nickelodeon shindig - she was wearing a cute red dress and she looked CLEAN. THis was a while ago, this random moment in a lifetime of fug.
Bai is ALWAYS fug. Therefore my vote goes to Tara, simply out of sheer frustration.
Posted by: Anna | Mar 28, 2008 5:00:55 PM
Bai Ling has that "crazy chick" thing going for her, whereas Tara has that "sad formerly hot chick" thing going, so imo Tara wins the fug.
Posted by: rob | Mar 28, 2008 5:08:47 PM
haiku? I mean, if I didn't think you two were genius, this pretty much sealed the deal for me.
Posted by: D | Mar 28, 2008 5:10:05 PM
Bai FTW! She will not be outfugged!
Posted by: shanna | Mar 28, 2008 5:32:42 PM
Bai is unstoppable!! that is all.
Posted by: april (aggie) | Mar 28, 2008 5:39:24 PM
Had to go with Tara -- I think Bai Ling might actually be crazy while Tara is just plain, old-fashioned tacky.
Posted by: Jules | Mar 28, 2008 5:42:55 PM
I don't know who Bai Ling is, but unless you can produce a photo of her looking something approaching fugless, she will sweep all before her.
Posted by: KimoPaddyovich | Mar 28, 2008 5:49:05 PM
Bai's in it to win it - a true classic. Tara = disposable.
Posted by: Em | Mar 28, 2008 5:49:14 PM
Oh my goodness those overalls are indeed a deal breaker.
How could I NOT go with Bai after seeing that?
Posted by: Rachel 2 | Mar 28, 2008 5:49:23 PM
Wow. That is the best match up yet. I can't believe how much fun this is.
Posted by: Jmp | Mar 28, 2008 5:54:49 PM
so much awesomeness in this post. i'm sorry girls, you've outdone yourself. this is brilliant. absolutely brilliant.
Posted by: CKK | Mar 28, 2008 6:08:34 PM
Ask and you shall receive-- Bai Ling's mug shot:
http://tinyurl.com/34kl4b
TRAGIC. She does not look fabulous, she just looks like a 36 year old in central booking for committing the petty, pointless crime of stealing BATTERIES in an LAX terminal. If you read the linked site, she was practically writing deranged haiku as she wandered the airport, quite possibly high as a kite, though maybe just naturally insane:
"Delayed the flight, wondring (sic) again in the airport like a ghost, why can't I just be the sun smile? My heart is a little sad now, casted by the melody of life ..."
I cannot even feel good about voting for her fug. So I voted for the equally sad and scary Tara Reid, whose nip slips could put out someone's eye if she's not careful. Take a shower and put on a bra, Tara. Maybe also drink some charcoal and wipe your mouth.
Posted by: Maceo Little | Mar 28, 2008 6:11:44 PM
This one hurts. Even tho in an earlier post I dismissed the Forever 21-ers as another, lesser contest--I NEED Tara in this contest. To me someone who not only daily (after day after day) dons fug clothes but also has the poor judgement to SURGICALLY ALTER herself into permanent fugdom--well that's just fug.
But following Courtney's inspired What Would Bobby Trendy Do logic--
Bai all the way.
ps courtney should get honorary Fug Girl status for that bit of wisdom
Posted by: jls | Mar 28, 2008 6:17:47 PM
Tara is obviously loaded when she gets dressed. Bai Ling fugs cold sober. She wins.
Posted by: Christy | Mar 28, 2008 6:45:53 PM
Bai Ling is the queen of fug plain and simple. I don't think I have ever seen a picture of her where isn't wearing something completely insane. Tara on the other hand has managed to look decent once or twice.
Posted by: Mimi | Mar 28, 2008 7:07:39 PM
Christy said:
"Tara is obviously loaded when she gets dressed. Bai Ling fugs cold sober. She wins."
What makes you think Bai Ling is sober?!?
Posted by: Maceo Little | Mar 28, 2008 7:17:20 PM
Again, apparently swimming against the stream, I think that Bai Ling manages to carry off the craziness, but Tara Reid just looks dreadful. I've got to go with Tara's fugliness ruling. The boob-job alone is enough to hand her a championship.
Posted by: Karen | Mar 28, 2008 7:29:25 PM
Tara = misshapen trainwreck.
Bai = Empress of Fug— nay, GOD OF FUG.
Posted by: Z | Mar 28, 2008 7:44:00 PM
I was going to vote for Tara - the horrible tan, botched plastic surgery and OH MY GOD MY EYES that picture before the jump. But then I saw Bai's overalls. No wonder she wears mini skirts all the time. It's as if she saw this picture of herself and realized how horrible that look was, then went 180 degrees in the other direction to disassociate herself from it.
Posted by: Sarah | Mar 28, 2008 7:54:30 PM
Bai Ling is like a weird Goddess of the Strange. She is the Force of Finding the Horrific in a Closet.
Whereas Tara Reid is just hardcore, irredeemably fugly. She looks like a bag lady pretending to be an actress.
I vote Tara.
Posted by: Deborah | Mar 28, 2008 7:55:33 PM
I'm in the minority voting for Tara, but my definition of fugly includes needing to involuntarily yell, "MY EYES, MY EYES!" or "WTF happened to her boobs?" as opposed to "Whee, what does Bai have for us today?"
Posted by: PJ | Mar 28, 2008 8:11:01 PM
man. this was rough. the nutjob schizo or the white trash party-whore?!
i chose tara because she *thinks* she's keeping things on lock. bai is just so bad it's good. she HAS to know what she's doing. and it's diabolical.
Posted by: theidlereceptionist | Mar 28, 2008 8:41:14 PM
oh man, i really thought T-re was topless for a minute there. not scrolldown fug, but fauxflash fug.
Posted by: little lucy | Mar 28, 2008 8:54:03 PM
my brain, on fire
from tara. her tacky noise
outdoes team bai. cry.
Posted by: heatherr | Mar 28, 2008 9:09:00 PM
This is not a contest. It's a massacre! Bai Ling will swallow the fug world whole. Poor Tara hasn't a chance.
Posted by: Elisabetta | Mar 28, 2008 9:26:28 PM
I GUFFAWED when I saw that second set of pictures. I've never seen them before and like to have died from the laughing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Posted by: Sallyacious | Mar 28, 2008 9:29:44 PM
This was a tough one. Clash of the titans indeed! But based on her insanely wacky outfits over the years, I have to give this to Bai. Fab actress, but a wardrobe that looks like it came from the closets of Elvira and Bozo.
Posted by: ClaudesMom | Mar 28, 2008 9:39:30 PM
I am quoting SOMEONE from before the rounds started:
"When I say Bai you say Ling
BAI LING BAI LING!"
Posted by: Gina | Mar 28, 2008 9:46:29 PM
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