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March 20, 2008
Fug Madness 2008: Madonna, Round One
(2) JENNIFER LOPEZ vs. (15) NATALIE PORTMAN
Oh my god, taking the trip through J.Lo's archives on this very site has reminded us once more that J.Lo is a special, treasured genius who has earned her high-seeding in blood, sweat, tears, and chiffon. From her spectacular stage wear -- can we interest you in the world's most complicated halter top, complete with fireworks? How about a jacket made of Chewbacca? Or an adult-sized, bump-concealing South Beach Barbie costume? -- to her red carpet choices (shall we remind you of the turban?), she is a delectable melange of over-the-top, crazy-ass fug that can not be denied.
Natalie Portman's fug, on the other hand, CAN be denied, which is why she is but a lowly 15 seed. That being said, this dress -- "important" (which we occasionally feel is fashion-speak for "ugly, but by a good designer") though it may be -- seems like something you'd have to be be talked into by a vigilant stylist armed with a bull-whip and a handful of tranquilizers:
Portman's lovely, sure, but she's had her fair share of gaffes, many of which involve very bad make-up, and the decision to appear in Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium. And keeping her V For Vendetta hair for it, like that movie wasn't terrible enough without her looking like that little boy we babysat in high school.
(3) HELENA BONHAM CARTER vs. (14) KELLY OSBOURNE
HBC's crazy, half-vagrant/half-wacky ceramics teacher look is well-known around these parts.
She and Tim Burton do seem like a perfect match, as we like to imagine them puttering around their house with bits of newspaper stuck in their hair, chatting about goodness knows what -- maybe HBC's tendency to show up places looking as though she'd just filmed Ophelia's death scene (spoiler!), or how excellent and creepy she is as Bellatrix Lestrange, or how she often goes outside wearing what might be pajamas.
Speaking of someone we saw in her pjs a lot, we must turn our attention to Helena's challenger, Kelly Osbourne. We have a soft spot for Kelly O. For one thing, she's been looking reliably pretty cute lately and god knows, we love us a make-over. On the other hand, nothing could erase from our memories ensembles like this:
Nor could we forget moments like this one, in which she took her bosom out for an airing. Nor this crazy-ass wig. Nor THIS crazy-ass haircut. Nor any number of similar times she went outside in about a pound of make-up, a tutu, and corset. You've made incredible strides, Kelly, but our memories are long.
(6) BEYONCE vs. (11) KYLIE MINOGUE
We'd like to take this moment to thank Beyonce.
She is clearly seriously entertaining. We've railed against leggings in all forms -- cotton, pleather, rubber -- but when you've got a girl wearing gold-plated ones, you have to just take off your turban to her. Indeed, Beyonce is the queen of That's Terrible...I MIGHT LOVE IT dressing, in that she often looks crazy, as she does in this number which she wore the same evening as the outfit pictured above, but her crazy is also also generally SPECTACULAR, and occasionally involves material in which you can check your lip gloss. She also tends to favor short shorts. Especially when they're made of gold lame.
Her competition here could probably get away with short shorts, as she is a past winner of Great Britain's Bum of the Year award. Sadly, Kylie then covered her bum with something from the Blanche Devereaux Pantsuit Line:
Girl, you're better than that. You're also better than this crazy cousin of Sandra Oh's Vacuum Filter. And this 80s bridesmaid dress, complete with butt-bow. Your bum is STILL a delight! Don't cover it in a giant bow, we say. We also say that, just between us, you should still be wicked peevish about what they did to you on the cover of Australian Vogue. Maybe call someone about that.
(7) JENNIFER CONNELLY vs. (10) LUCY LIU
Both women in this game are seriously gorgeous, with enviably fabulous hair. They're also both prone to showing up places in outfits that would prompt an, "ooooh, crazy!" on the runway, but provoke, "Um, CRAZY." in real life:
This is probably due in part to business reasons. Jennifer is the face of Balenciaga, which presumably means she gets some awesome free shoes and bags, but also has to go outside wearing the likes of this. Not that she was doing so hot on her own. Leggings and mesh shoes? Really? You have an Oscar. You're not Lindsay Lohan.
As for Lucy, the hand of Pat Field has felled her on more than one occasion: knee-socks and grandma shorts on one hand, jogging in a fur coat on another. Which is not to say that, when left to her own devices, she doesn't go outside looking like she and Pat Field are sharing a closet -- witness the psychotic balloon sleeves above, or the Most Dramatic of That Dramatic McQueen Sling-Thing, which of course she accessorized with elbow gloves, as you do.
So how do you choose? We suspect this final game of the day is going to be very, very close. Have at it!
Posted by H & J at 12:15 PM in Fug Madness | Permalink
Comments
I can't believe that HBG is winning. Crazy clothes be damned, I love Lucy Honeychurch so she gets a free pass from me.
Posted by: Jennifer | Mar 20, 2008 12:19:38 PM
Oops, that should have been HBC. I guess I'm just so distraught that you all think that HBC is more fug than Kelly Osborne. I mean, really. What has Kelly given us that can compare to HBC?
Posted by: jennifer | Mar 20, 2008 12:23:12 PM
Lopez over Portman: In JLo's world, it is ALWAYS 1973.
Bonham Carter over Osborne: Points for crazed inspiration, plus Osborne looks to be cleaning up her act.
Beyonce over Minogue: As with Lopez, Beyonce's fug is signature fug, and that signature is IT SHINES. I admire consistency.
Connelly over Liu: That print Balenciaga with those seriously odd shoes did it for me. Connelly is such a beautiful woman that she ought to look good in a trash bag...and I bet she would, but she looks TERRIBLE in some of those outfits.
Posted by: Kate | Mar 20, 2008 12:24:21 PM
I adore HBC and Tim Burton, but if I saw them walking towards me I'd turn and run the other way.
Posted by: Cheryl | Mar 20, 2008 12:26:21 PM
Hey, I think Helena Bonham Carter is awesome. But awesome has nothing to do with it. She does dress pretty fug.
Posted by: steph | Mar 20, 2008 12:26:55 PM
I think HBC falls in the same category as Chloe. Crazy--yes, but that's her look. She would be unrecognizable in something elegant. She's one crazy broad who embraces her fug. She becomes one with her fug.
And Beyonce is the living definition of a hot mess. There is just no other way to describe her.
Posted by: Mels | Mar 20, 2008 12:28:52 PM
i can't fug kelly osborne, sorry, she's just too cute lately. hbc looks crazy too many times to get a pass this time.
Posted by: colleen | Mar 20, 2008 12:28:54 PM
What's with the "bracket" stuff and when will it end?!
Posted by: Guylaine | Mar 20, 2008 12:29:32 PM
I still haven't forgiven Jennifer Connelly for what she did to her poor breasts at the Oscars, so she's an automatic win.
Posted by: jane | Mar 20, 2008 12:31:08 PM
What makes JLo's fug so great is she is so smug about it. She oozes fug through every pore! I mean, she kept getting married over and over util she got someone who accessorizes her fug perfectly.
Posted by: Sharon | Mar 20, 2008 12:31:45 PM
I have an unending love for HBC. So maybe I'm biased. The thing is, I think she's really trying to look weird. I think Kelly is trying to look good and failing miserably. So, Kelly's just more fugly to me.
Posted by: Nicole Joy | Mar 20, 2008 12:32:12 PM
Lucy (and her character) needs to learn that she's no Carrie Bradshaw. Beyonce's mother needs to be shot for putting her daughter in gold lame shorts.
Posted by: JR | Mar 20, 2008 12:33:33 PM
The thing with HBC vs Kelly is it seems like Helena is just doing whatever the hell she feels like, and somehow it comes off as crazy but awesome. Kelly, on the other hand, seemed to be trying too hard even when she was fugly, but then got a stylist. Now she's trying too hard, but without even an ounce of her own creativity.
Posted by: Robin | Mar 20, 2008 12:34:20 PM
This is seriously the greatest game ever. The discovery of GFY in itself revolutionised my time at work... and now, this.... I can't even put my gratitude to H and J into words....
Posted by: JONATHAN | Mar 20, 2008 12:36:15 PM
JLo over Portman all the way - Portman's personality & intellectual-seeming self mitigate the fug, plus JLo's over-the-top, cajones requiring ensembles are admirable in their fugocity.
Posted by: Amanda | Mar 20, 2008 12:36:18 PM
Lucy Lieu just has beautiful charisma to pull off most she wears, even if the dress/piece itself is hideos. Jennifer Connely looks more like a frumpy "I don't care - just take my picture already" - all the time.
Posted by: Jolene | Mar 20, 2008 12:36:25 PM
Osborne is MEANT to be quirky and weird. Carter.. well she's BEAUTIFUL. She is a spectacularly beautiful woman - if she did her hair and dressed a bit more stylish.
Posted by: Jolene | Mar 20, 2008 12:37:25 PM
HBC for the win! I'm taking her to the final 2!
Posted by: Ebot | Mar 20, 2008 12:37:40 PM
Are you kidding? Connelly over Liu! Seriously crazy stuff that girl wears. And while the puffy sleeves is a fug all of it's own, most of Liu's stuff has been costumes for her show. You can't fug a girl because of her job!
Posted by: MC | Mar 20, 2008 12:37:42 PM
Yeah, I had to go with HBC too. Another example of a woman who goes out of her way to be ultra-fug. I think Kelly is still just trying to get used to the new fab body.
Jennifer "don't call me J-Lo" Lopez is just a major, major fug icon. Did you see what she's wearing on the cover of People, holding the new twins? Who holds infants wearing TAFFETA for F**k's sake?!?
Posted by: Lorraine Bates | Mar 20, 2008 12:38:20 PM
I agree with JR...Helena IS those clothes...she IS an oddball and I believe is one of the only people on the planet who can consistently wear a bird's nest in her hair and the scraps from Cinderella's dress and still look interesting and dare I say, sexy? Kelly has improved, but is still a little too out there and if we are going by their BOOK of style, Kelly has this all over Helena in a fug-out.
Posted by: jj | Mar 20, 2008 12:39:01 PM
Thanks for the reminders of the crazy J.Lo (I'm sorry JENNIFER) outfits. She could be a sleeper for the whole competition.
Posted by: Mags | Mar 20, 2008 12:43:12 PM
OH MY LORD!!! This is so exciting!!!! I've got Kansas going all the way this year, but who's the most fug? I just can't tell yet! So many outstanding candidates! The Madonna bracket being particularly ripe. Possibly only superseded by the Charo bracket. It's going to be so great!!!!
Posted by: Villanelle | Mar 20, 2008 12:44:05 PM
HBC... love that crazy gal in all her fug glory! How could you not vote for her? Yes, Kelly has travelled to fug town quite a bit, but in a very sane way. She would have to dress in the dark for years to hold a candle to HBC.
The trophy for Fug Madness should be a likeness of Beyonce! Seriously, her love of metallics is legendary. The tropy can just be a cut out of any of her awards show gowns.
Lucy Liu wins it everytime for me over J.C. The shower loofahs alone should get her a plaque in the Fug Hall of Fame.
Posted by: Tara | Mar 20, 2008 12:44:25 PM
HBC is just kooky enough to pull of her looks while KO just looks immature and like a rebelious teen.
JLo is just crazy and I think Natalie Portman can get away with just about anything.
Beyonce is the worst in my opinion. She and her mother releasing a clothing line brought my worst nightmares to reality. I have no opinion on Kylie.
Jennifer and Lucy are able to look pehnomenal and just make missteps here and there.
Posted by: ISN | Mar 20, 2008 12:44:37 PM
Man, I didn't think anyone could top HBC, I really thought it would be her and Chloe Sevigny in the end.... But then, the true awfulness of Kelly Osbourne swayed me... HBC has been doing fug for so long, and for Kelly to nearly equal her in just a few short years really takes commitment...
Posted by: Emily | Mar 20, 2008 12:47:41 PM
the problem is that lucy liu's pics come from her show, which has the misfortune of revistin mrs. fields for fashion advice...
jc on the other hand, well, she's doing this by choice. while i'm sure she might disagree with her stylist (she should have one!), she's not wearing it for a fictional character. oh no, this is jc out and about...
Posted by: km | Mar 20, 2008 12:47:52 PM
I am 100% with MC above - you cannot fully fug Lucy Liu because she's wearing Patricia Field creations. That's like fugging me for the polyester uniform I had to wear when I worked at that chicken place in high school. Not Fair! AND I would assert that Mlle. Liu still manages to look kinda cute in the getups, the mark of a true professional.
La Lopez is the poster child for Grandma Cruise Wear Fug.
And I have to say, perhaps more controversially, that HBC is more eccentric than fugly and can carry if all off. Kelly Osbourne oughta go DOWN.
Posted by: Shells | Mar 20, 2008 12:48:43 PM
Damn you Fug Girls! I am not a JLo fan but had to put aside my bias and look at the fact that sometime JLo rocks the carpet and most of the pictures are costumes for concerts. Where pretentious Natalie wasn't performing, she thought that outfit looked good. Fortunately, I had a good stiff drink and calmed down. JLo gets my vote because Marc "I've come to suck your blood" Anthony is her accessory
Posted by: KatyMay | Mar 20, 2008 12:48:57 PM
Wow I never realized how much of a wreck Beyonce can be. Damn.
Jennifer/Lucy was a hard choice for me. Lucy seems to be going for a look but Jen seems tragically unaware.
Posted by: Krys | Mar 20, 2008 12:49:03 PM
I had to decline to vote in the Portman/Lo faceoff. They're both impeccable.
Posted by: LZA | Mar 20, 2008 12:51:43 PM
It's so unfair that Kelly Osbourne was matched against Helena Bonham Carter in the first round! I think she coulda gone far in this tournament! What an unlucky draw for her!!
Posted by: Claire | Mar 20, 2008 12:53:39 PM
Love the contest and the open comments, but the scariest thing so far is that awful Peta car wash ad. I'm all for ads on blogs, but what is up with that horrible thing?
Posted by: vmc | Mar 20, 2008 12:54:43 PM
Natalie's major fug offence seems to be making herself look 50 years older than she actually is. A heinous crime in someone so naturally lovely if there ever was one. JLo, on the other hand, constantly looks like a 50yo trying to look like a 20-something hipster. Also a crime, and one perpetrated far more consistently and aggressively by La Lopez. She takes it, hands down.
Kelly gives the impression of a young girl uncomfortable with puberty. Perhaps, one thinks, all Kelly needs is some maternal guidance to help her harness her boobs and settle on a non-synthetic hairdo. Helena has no such excuse, however. That lady is plain bat-sh*t crazy. And crazy always crushes awkward.
Kylie and Beyonce are well-matched. But the play goes Beyonce for sheer retina-burning intensity of fug.
Comparing Lucy and Jennifer smacks a little of apples and oranges (mmm... yummy!). In the end, though, I feel the fact that Lucy chooses to dress as psychotically off the set as on is more sartorially offensive than Jennifer's more hum-drum flavour of fashion vicimization.
Posted by: Pandora | Mar 20, 2008 12:55:02 PM
I have to agree with all the others saying HBC is just awesome and kooky and eccentric...if I could get away with dressing like her I'd love to do so. Her fashion choices are admittedly unique and bizarre, but I don't think of them as fug.
Posted by: evie | Mar 20, 2008 12:56:07 PM
This is HARD! Some deliberately bring the fug and others just don't know they're bringing it. But Beyonce wins because she SELLS HER FUG. And her MOM DESIGNS IT. So, they don't know their clothes are fug. That makes her a winner. Kylie Minogue is just Kylie Minogue...she has always been tacky. Lucy Liu needs to quit trying to be SJP or Carrie Bradshaw. I can't tell who she's trying to copy. It's so contrived and that's a turnoff. This clearly needs to go to someone who truly believes they're cute or beautiful in whatever they wear while looking horrendous. For the ones who just have a "unique" style (Gwen Stefani or Kylie Minogue) who dress as in costume all the time need their own bracket.
Posted by: Tana | Mar 20, 2008 12:56:46 PM
...but you certainly can fug lucy liu for that purple "barbie and the rockers" dress with what looks like a pink tissue paper shower curtain jauntily balanced on top.
Posted by: melanie | Mar 20, 2008 12:58:04 PM
HBC is fugulosity at its most delicious moment. Is she not the cat in the hat that tricked sue and matt?
Posted by: deanna1104 | Mar 20, 2008 12:59:08 PM
Mmm. I'm just sad to see Kylie on her. She's so cute and bubbly, and most of her outfits work. It's just her new album "X"...The look she has for it don't work as well. She still is MILES above Beyonce, who is more trash then class, and is shoe-horned into everything she wears, eep!
I also kind of like Lucy Liu's crazy style. Jennifer Connely was quite lovely once, but has detoriated fashion-wise over the years.
Posted by: Grant | Mar 20, 2008 1:00:36 PM
JLo v. NPo: J all the way. She reminds me of a crazy, ethnic septuagenarian who knows damned well she looks hideous in her caftan but wears it because it reminds her of The Old Country.
HBC v. KOs: HBC. Just. Fug. I really think she ought to have been included in the Bjork category instead.
Beyonce v. Kylie: Grown up who still lets her mom dress her versus breast cancer survivor. You make the call (I called Bey-otch).
Connelly v. Liu: JenCon was so cute in that movie where Bowie made inappropriate quasi-sexual advances on her (as a minor!), but—if we’re going to be judging their character instead of the women themselves—LuLiu as one of Charlie’s Angels could kick her ass and look good doing it. In leather, no less.
Posted by: Maureen | Mar 20, 2008 1:02:32 PM
Lui over Connelly? Really? I have to discount hugely fug from stage or screen. OTOH, if they come to the red carpet looking as consistently awful as Connelly, then that's a much stronger indication of that person's inner Bjork.
Posted by: Mertseger | Mar 20, 2008 1:02:48 PM
HBC's outfits are batsh*t crazy, sure, but it's her! Wouldn't it be weirder if she went out in trendy or boring things?? Kelly tries to look good and generally fails miserably (though, okay, she's been better recently) but HBC is always flawless in her insane way.
Posted by: Jane | Mar 20, 2008 1:03:06 PM
god the jennifer lopez posts are hilarious! and the beyonce one - her stylist says: you know those pants were in your dressing room for a reason... love it!
so yeah i voted for both of those. and luci liu - that was a tough one, but lucy just seems even more outlandish than jennifer.
Posted by: Will | Mar 20, 2008 1:03:51 PM
I cringe every time I see those shoulder padded Balenciaga pieces. Ugh! I suppose they could be interesting thought pieces in the artestry of fashion, but do they really think I'm gonna think it's NOT fugly if they keep splashing pics of poor Jennifer Connoley wearing the ugly plastic crap all over my magazines? NO- Balenciaga, end Jennifer's suffering now.
Posted by: Leah | Mar 20, 2008 1:04:08 PM
Wait? We're counting Cashmere Mafia outfits against Lucy Liu? That doesn't seem fair. Vote Connelly people!!
Posted by: emmie | Mar 20, 2008 1:05:00 PM
I kind of secretly love HBC's craziness, and therefore wish to give her a pass. I mean, where is the line drawn between "so crazy that she actually thinks this looks good" and "just straight-up crazy"?
Posted by: kerminator | Mar 20, 2008 1:05:09 PM
I think I spent more time trying to figure out Lucy Vs. Jennifer than I thinking about who I voted for in the primary.
Here's my problem: Both of them are beautiful. But Connelly consistently goes out in public looking like an insect with an exoskeleton (witness that atrocity that Balenciaga put her in.) She's so thin and pale that I worry about her.
Lucy wears her X-treme thinness better, but her taste is so horrible that I can't wrap my mind around it. For a beautiful woman, she does amazingly well at making herself look like a refugee from a home for deranged adolescents (circa 1980).
Had to go with Connelly in the end. Those shoes were a crime against the eyeball.
Posted by: Chaser | Mar 20, 2008 1:06:03 PM
Is it me or does the pink thingy Lucy's wearing look like those crepe paper things you unfold for decorations?
Posted by: ET | Mar 20, 2008 1:06:10 PM
JLo over Natalie: Haha! I called her J-Lo. J-Lo! J-Lo! J-Lo! Natalie has had more hits than misses, I think.
Kelly over Helena: an unfair competition, in that I don't think Helena's competent to stand trial. Kelly will always be fug, no matter what she wears--until she removes the layers and layers of clown-white that cover her entire body.
Beyonce over Kylie: Um, sometimes I think Kylie's outfits are fun. Even those being fugged. Shh.
Jennifer over Lucy: This was the toughest so far. But then I covered their heads. Jennifer is just so damn beautiful, that I desperately wanted her to be less fugly: the way you want the mean popular cheerleader to have a soft side, or for that cool boy who ignores you except when he wants to make out to really really love you. Neither can be. And nor can Jennifer.
Posted by: ISBN | Mar 20, 2008 1:07:53 PM
I think HBK will win this bracket. And sorry, but I've never thought Liu was any kind of hot. Maybe if she had an operation to fix her messed up eye.
Posted by: Ben | Mar 20, 2008 1:09:19 PM
Does Kelly Osborne want the lead in Hairspray as desperately as Sean Young wanted to play Catwoman? Are her wigs the equivalent of Sean's kitty litter love seat? Only the eye shadow knows. In the end, I had to vote for HBC, whose fug is (wax) museum quality.
Beyonce, Hands of Fate, down. Anyone who would go onstage dressed as The Solid Gold Cadillac rocks my vote.
Lucy Liu who shows up in public wearing a cloth can of Pringles and dares us not to like it.
Posted by: SidheDevil | Mar 20, 2008 1:10:14 PM
but isn't cashmere mafia just fug remanifest? it's the knockoff to sex and the city's designer purse ... and though we all love a good knockoff, this is not the good kind.
i vote lucy.
Posted by: susan | Mar 20, 2008 1:13:28 PM
Oh God. Looking at some of these photos made me want to cry.
J.Lo... *ahem*, I mean, Mrs. Marc Anthony definitely wins. Though Portman can fug it up, she can't beat La Diva Latina and her outfits that make me wonder if I accidentally took my roommate's LSD instead of my Advil.
HBC wins over Kelly. This was harder, and should be closer than some of the others, but DEAR GOD. I've seen bag ladies looking more put together than HBC. Plus, kudos for Kelly going to rehab and apparently, fug rehab too. Have you two opened that up yet?
I chose Kylie over Beyonce. Because Beyonce at least looks, while incredibly costume-y and redonkulous- good, if she were at a costume party in 1976. Kylie... does not.
Lucy over Connelly. Because girl, are you seriously JOGGING in a FUR COAT?
Posted by: Liz | Mar 20, 2008 1:14:57 PM
I love the sling dress and I think Lucy Liu did it best. Hands down.
Posted by: Liz | Mar 20, 2008 1:15:18 PM
I had to not vote for Natalie or Lucy, because they're FUGs seem truly accidental.
I think I see Helena winning the whole thing, tbh.
Posted by: liz | Mar 20, 2008 1:18:27 PM
HBC always looks as though she's in character from one of her movies. But I kind of like it. While the dumpster look is similar to that of Mark-Kate Olsen, at least HBC smiles and looks like she'd be a lot of fun. Kelly has made great strides lately, but I can't look past some of those bad hairdos and her addiction to white makeup. She's a very lovely girl, but she was trying to be pretty and failed terribly. Tough vote, but had to go with Kelly.
Beyonce's addiction to metallics was not actually what made me vote for her. She can pull off the metallics (but not the hot pants.... shudder). It was her dresses that she couldn't sit down in without exposing all her lady bits to the seat below.
Hands down J.Lo. Natalie doesn't compare.
Jennifer Connelly is pretty, but then wears things that ruin all that. Lucy's outfits are mostly the fault of her work. Except that terrible puffy thing. But she has attitude to pull off more insane looks than JC. JC can just look bad.
Posted by: Kat | Mar 20, 2008 1:20:56 PM
Kelly won me over, she has been looking amazing lately. And keep in mind people, under all that kookiness the genetic lottery was very kind to HBC, she is a gorgeous woman who went goth....Kelly on the other hand was not exactly gifted in the looks department (except flawless skin) but has really made it work lately
Posted by: andrew | Mar 20, 2008 1:23:48 PM
See, I'm not sure how to vote. Does "whose fug reigns supreme?" mean "who dresses fuglier?" or does it mean "who is more over the top and fabulous?" or does it mean "who is just...MORE?"
Beyonce wears some crazy shit, but she almost always looks fantastic even if it does look like she is wearing C3PO's pelt. Kylie just looks kind of sad next to her. It's like Eva Longoria vs. Your Mom. Eva is always going to be more of everything than Your Mom. More fabulous, more fugalicious, more often seen on TV, more the biggest clown at the clown rodeo. So who wins? Really Your Mom wears fugly stuff more days of the week, but no one notices her doing it. So does Eva rise to the top of fug? I think honestly Your Mom wins, but it would be mean to call her on her fugly wardrobe, because Eva has so many more resources to be both fug and fab with. It's sort of the same with Beyonce vs. Kylie.
Posted by: kismet | Mar 20, 2008 1:24:41 PM
I think it's a stretch to include Natalie Portman in the bracket. Granted, she's had a couple of fashion missteps, but they're pretty few and far between. Overall, she usually looks very classic and polished.
Lucy Liu shouldn't be blamed for the outfits she wears on a TV show, since she didn't choose them. HBC, however, is just crazy fug. She could hold her own against Chloe.
Posted by: Cindy | Mar 20, 2008 1:26:35 PM
By the way, LOVING the bracket! Very well done! I'm looking forward to every chance to vote.
Posted by: Cindy | Mar 20, 2008 1:27:35 PM
I don't think Helena Bonham Carter should be most fug. I think she is just being herself. Her clothes may be ugly but at least she is being authentic. I think it makes her interesting.
Posted by: Athena | Mar 20, 2008 1:30:16 PM
I have to say that because of your site I now officially hate Cloe Sevigny as much as I've despised HBC for YEARS. It may be their fugness, or their sheer "I'm fugging-crazy and I don't care who knows it" attitude, but I keep praying that one of these days their fashion faux pas will eat them alive.... slowly.
Posted by: Caitlin | Mar 20, 2008 1:31:02 PM
Ahhh hahahaha! I just read someone's comment saying that HBC isn't competent to stand trial. I almost spit my lunch onto my screen.
Also noticed that someone mentioned Marc Anthony as a fugly accessory to J.Lo.... which is what I was thinking, as well. Do living accessories count?
Posted by: Kat | Mar 20, 2008 1:31:58 PM
It hurt me to fug HBC, it really did. I think she is stupendous, fabulous, beautiful, and all in a quirky, ultra-personal, inimitable style. Also she has breathed the same air as Johnny Depp. But I forced myself to vote based on the photos and I did what I had to do.
I don't think either of them (HBC or KO) are consistently fug, though - and I would gladly shave ten years off my life for Kelly Osborn's complexion.
Okay, maybe five.
I had trouble with Beyonce/Kylie, but shiny fug is always worse than other kinds of fug. Shiny fug says "LOOK AT ME! See what I'm wearing? Isn't this AWESOME?!"
I would like to see more "out and about" photos and less "costumed for stage/filming," though.
Posted by: temporarily anonymous | Mar 20, 2008 1:33:36 PM
Seriously, LL has made some dubious choices but I think she works 'em as best as could be. The truly cracked out stuff seems to be confined to her job. It's not fair to fug a doctor for shapeless scrubs so why would you hit another lady in her work ensemble?
JC: undeniably beautiful woman but it always looks like her clothes are holding her hostage, like she's got no control even if the clothes themselves are nice.
Posted by: KHS | Mar 20, 2008 1:35:47 PM
I don't know. Those wacked out sleeves ARE out and about, and that's pretty cracked out. My point being that her totally crazy work clothes (fug coat for jogging) have bled into her real life (balloon sleeves).
Posted by: Jessica | Mar 20, 2008 1:41:38 PM
Helena and I are both the same age; and I developed a serious girl crush on her when she starred in "Lady Jane" in the mid-80s when it was, somehow, okay to emulate her style. HBC and I happily wore pink taffeta skirts with 14 tiers, paired with over-sized plaid flannel shirts, doc martens, ornate rhinestone jewelry, and lace rags wrapped around our heads. But, back then, I also listened to the Cure constantly, drank tequila from a hip flask, and spent a lot of time at open mic night...
At a certain age, I stopped dressing wonky -- but, alas HBC (bless her quirky little heart), continued. She gets my vote -- rock on, Lady Jane.
Posted by: Stephanie | Mar 20, 2008 1:41:58 PM
MHO, such as it is:
J.lo/ Natalie- oh, j.Lo all the way. There is no fug to outfug that Disco fever thing.
Helena BC/ Kelly O.- I almost went with HBC here, but I don't know. She is clearly insane (read: bloodstains), but she is also kind of awesome, y'know?
Kylie/Beyonce- Kylie, mos def. Beyonce needs to wear more clothes that do not look like they came from the Denver mint gift shop, but she still rocks them. (Except the hotpants. I am making a petition for those to be burned.)
Jennifer/ Lucy: Jennifer over Lucy, because while Lucy is indeed fug, she is clearly intentionally fug, which is awesome. Unintentional fug is not awesome, because unlike the former, it can be cured.
Posted by: Amy | Mar 20, 2008 1:43:53 PM
Lucy Liu is proud of having designed her own fug, though.
Connelly just doesn't seem to care.
Posted by: JupiterPluvius | Mar 20, 2008 1:44:15 PM
I just can't fug HBC. She's too daffy and eccentric to really deserve my fug vote. I love her "I don't give a shit if you think I look like I'm homeless" genuineness.
Posted by: jamielou | Mar 20, 2008 1:48:25 PM
Jennifer Connelly is one of my husband's very favourite actresses. If you could have seen his little face when I told him she was in this contest, and that yes I was going to have to vote for her.
Heartbreaking.
But then he saw the worst fug pictures, and was all "Well maybe this will send her a message, right? It could be an intervention, perhaps? Please make her stop doing that."
Posted by: Jen C-B | Mar 20, 2008 1:49:37 PM
I dunno, I consider Beyonce in the context of hip-hop--you know, where there are Foxys and Eves and such. In comparison, B looks downright elegant.
Kelly O maybe kooky, but she OWNS kooky.
On J.Lo...did you see that at least one of her new babies has his/her dad's Addams Family eyes? Pobrecito. But still: babies. Cute.
Posted by: Lulu | Mar 20, 2008 1:49:42 PM
I think it would be so nice to see Beyonce occasionally wear something that would not be tight as hell and/or have sequines all over it. Oh, and that permanent TEH FIERCE look on her face, makes me wonder if she is constantly channelin her inner TEH TYRA.
Posted by: baeva | Mar 20, 2008 1:52:11 PM
JLo: The turban! It's hurts us!
Kelly: Those wigs look like a cat she dragged out from under the bed by its tail. OR! One of them may be a pom pom from my high school days.
Beyonce: I am sorry, but Beyonce's hair may win the whole shabang all by itself. It can look stunning, but it can also look like a hot ghetto mess.
JCo: That acid trip of a dress with baseball seems has seered my retinas forever.
Seriously, can the Turban, the Hair and the Wigs have a bracket to themselves?
Posted by: M.R. | Mar 20, 2008 1:52:16 PM
See, I'm not sure how to vote. Does "whose fug reigns supreme?" mean "who dresses fuglier?" or does it mean "who is more over the top and fabulous?" or does it mean "who is just...MORE?"
Beyonce wears some crazy shit, but she almost always looks fantastic even if it does look like she is wearing C3PO's pelt. Kylie just looks kind of sad next to her. It's like Eva Longoria vs. Your Mom. Eva is always going to be more of everything than Your Mom. More fabulous, more fugalicious, more often seen on TV, more the biggest clown at the clown rodeo. So who wins? Really Your Mom wears fugly stuff more days of the week, but no one notices her doing it. So does Eva rise to the top of fug? I think honestly Your Mom wins, but it would be mean to call her on her fugly wardrobe, because Eva has so many more resources to be both fug and fab with. It's sort of the same with Beyonce vs. Kylie.
Posted by: kismet | Mar 20, 2008 1:55:48 PM
I had to go with Lucy Liu because girl has been bringing her A game lately. She just overpowers Connelly right now.
But I am sad to see Beyonce winning because although she dresses like a an acid trippin' vegas showgirl, the girl can pull it off and make it look fabulously trashtastic instead of fugtastic. Kylie, on the other hand, sadly fails at trying to have a "look". It is just plain fug.
Kylie I hope you pull an upset over Beyonce because against her you are the definition of fug.
GO KYLIE!
God, this sh*t is fun.
Posted by: jen310 | Mar 20, 2008 1:58:18 PM
I really have to disagree with Natalie Portman being included in the bracket. 9 times out of 10 I really like what she is wearing. The Tenth time is usually REALLY bad, but still...
Posted by: Alyce | Mar 20, 2008 1:58:51 PM
This. Is. SO. Awesome.
Posted by: Mme. Meow | Mar 20, 2008 2:00:20 PM
J.Lo's turban FTW!
Posted by: Ginger | Mar 20, 2008 2:04:54 PM
Three words on Jennifer Connelly: Khaki Oscar gown.
It started way before she met Nicholas Ghesquiere.
Posted by: hm | Mar 20, 2008 2:05:23 PM
Jennifer C. chooses all her strange garb, pretty much. Lucy L. has it foisted upon her and has no choice. Left to her own devices, JC would still be odd and LL would be fabulous, like when she was in SATC and Samantha got a Birkin bag using her name. But I digress.
Posted by: Debbi | Mar 20, 2008 2:09:05 PM
Jennifer
Helena
Kylie
Jennifer
My basic fugteria is "who's workin' it, who's wastin' it?" Is the competitor Fug+Fab or Fug+Sad?
JLO? Sorry, I mean Jennifer!
Fug + Fab + Track Record = The Circus is in Town! Yay!
Natalie - Fug + Sad = Try again next year
Helena BC - Fug + Sad + Crazy = Reliably Fugly
Kelley - Fug + 1/2Fab - Cute Factor = Non starter
Things get more complicated in the next two, so fugteria looks like this:
(Genetic beauty + Exposure Opportunity) x Fugly(squared)
Beyonce - ([Beauty + Everywhere] + Mom dresses me) x FugFab(squared) DEFEATED by
Kylie - ([Beauty x bad makeup] + Onstage) x FugSad (squared)
Jennifer C - (Gorgeous + Red Carpet) x FugDrab (squared)
DEFEATS Lucy - ([Pretty + work/charity events] - bold choices) x Fug-Ish (squared)
It's simple really.
Posted by: Patsky | Mar 20, 2008 2:17:11 PM
I know Jennifer Connelly isn't completely to blame for those UBERFUG balenciaga ads... but I can't forgive her for them all the same. Don't let anyone erase your mouth. Or dress like Barbarella (minus the irony).
Posted by: DVM | Mar 20, 2008 2:25:52 PM
Lest we forget Jennifer Connelly's geriatric shoes. That image will forever haunt me...
Posted by: sunzari | Mar 20, 2008 2:32:48 PM
LOPEZ V. PORTMAN: I have to admit I threw this game. I am in the clear minority, but I love Jennifer Lopez no matter what. She seems to rock whatever it is she wears, with a fierce vulnerability that wins me over. I still think that the mint green, one-shouldered Valentino caftan she wore to the 2003 Oscars is one of the best moments of red carpet dressing that I have ever seen. She looked so elegant that night it took my breath away. For that, and her electrifying chemistry with Intern George in "Out of Sight", I respect her. Besides I actually do think it a high shame that the lovely Portman dowdifies herself rather consistently. Please, someone, anyone, take away those damn hooded sweatshirts!
CARTER V. OSBOURNE: I like both of these women and appreciate their dedicated sense of themselves, but despite how comforting her kooky is, HBC's fug reigns supreme. Kelly's entire presentation is actually stunningly beautiful at times. Helena's beauty is usually only in her face. Still, love her!
BEYONCE V. MINOGUE: I wish someone could explain to me the success that is Beyonce. My confusion over why she is even famous makes me want to propel her into the Final Four.
CONNELLY V. LIU: Had to go into overtime in this game, but in the end, Connelly's reserved missteps couldn't overcome the 3-point hot mess that is the sling dress with dominatrix gloves.
Posted by: Fuginger | Mar 20, 2008 2:33:16 PM
Oh poor poor Lucy. Why she decided to do Cashite I'll never know. Unfortunately she's been FUG'ed up to the eyeballs with those awful clothes. El Field has gone to town on her. I'l sticking up for Jennifer - at least she's doing it couture stylee.
Beyonce rocks as a trashy showgirl but I agree with the comments that Kylie seems to be doing the 80s and in fact every other decade very wrong recently. Dear god a bustle? With a floral? What the fug.
Posted by: Juji | Mar 20, 2008 2:35:12 PM
I'm completely blinded by the attrocity that is the floral blanket-stitched Balenciaga. And.With.Those.Shoes.
Posted by: anna | Mar 20, 2008 2:41:54 PM
Lopez v Portman: Lopez because she can look gorgeous but sometimes needs restraint on the bling
Bonham Carter v Osborne: Love, love, love HBC, but I think she'd be disappointed if she didn't win most fugly dressed.
Beyonce v Minogue: Beyonce wishes she reached J.Lo wardrobe status.
Connelly v Liu: Is it just me, or is it unfair to put Lucy Liu up because I think all of these photos are her as her Fugmere Mafia character, not as Lucy Liu, whereas J.Co is a hot mess representin' herself. And the hot pink dress works on her!
Posted by: BEM | Mar 20, 2008 2:52:58 PM
I don't know that I've settled on a winner as of yet. But the fact that I cannot get the image of Jennifer Connelly sporting what keeps reminding me of an autopsied psychedelic lizard that died because a trash truck ran over its feet...well, my odds are with her. That's just WRONG. Kelly's got Ozzie as a father, Beyonce's got insane parents, Lucy has obviously allowed stage dressing to affect her brain, and Helena cannot be reformed. But Jennifer...no excuses. None. Under no circumstances should you think that's okay. It offends everyone at every level. Except maybe Bai Ling, but that's another game altogether.
Kylie, Natalie, JLo...I don't have the brainpower at the moment.
Posted by: Mimi | Mar 20, 2008 2:53:05 PM
I resent Natalie being here. She is the epitome of style. When they're doing the movie of my life, I want her to play me, that's how much I love her!
Posted by: marmelade | Mar 20, 2008 2:58:04 PM
I, too, must admit to a flexible definition of fug, often determined by how much I appreciate the character behind the clothes. To wit: sometimes, I fug because I find the outfit amazingly mind-numbling-in-a-perhaps-fantabulous way, and other times I fug because the ensemble scars my eyes more than a bad student paper that I *know* was written mere hours before my section meets.
J.Lo because I secretly adore her bitchiness expressed through "fashion"; HBC because she's a truly, truly, truly outrageous actress who'd have you think she's homeless; Beyonce by default because, well, how can you fug a woman the year she survives breast cancer?; Jennifer because the Balanciaga contract was, ostensibly, of her own accord.
Posted by: alison | Mar 20, 2008 3:07:30 PM
My love for all things McQueen runs deep, plus I can't hold Lucy responsible for being dressed by a crazy lady.
I don't think Jennifer Conelly fits the modern woman warrior look at Balenciaga. The clothing always makes her look like she's stealing from her cool younger sister's closet.
Posted by: Jael | Mar 20, 2008 3:11:29 PM
Oh, and while I voted for HBC, I never want her to wear anything else. I'd be so sad if she played the Hollywood style game.
Posted by: Jael | Mar 20, 2008 3:12:57 PM
I really really like natalie portman, and I really like that dress! I really had to do some reconsidering with beyonce and kylie. I was always partial to kylie's weird style, but then I think I was blinded by shiny things and fell for beyonce. Who knew? I am learning so much about myself from this competition of competitions.
MARCH MADNESS!
Posted by: gg | Mar 20, 2008 3:14:45 PM
Jennifer Connelly vs Lucy Liu goes to J.C. any day!! Take another look at her "Laura Ashley married a Poison video" getup!!
Love the site - you all make my day!
Posted by: KMAG | Mar 20, 2008 3:16:18 PM
HBC's more awesome than Ms. Osbourne, so she gets my support. I personally love her flyaway hair.
Posted by: Teddy | Mar 20, 2008 3:16:40 PM
no fair! you just didn't put up enough pics of natalie portman to demonstrate that she is ALWAYS hopeless, whereas j. lo sometimes has good moments.
Posted by: weyes | Mar 20, 2008 3:22:34 PM
I had to vote against Beyonce just on principle.
Posted by: Lucy | Mar 20, 2008 3:22:42 PM
OK, seriously, I can't believe even 30% of people think Kylie's fug is worse than Beyonce's! Don't get me wrong, Kylie fugs it up most of the time, but Beyonce can obviously look soooooooooooooo good (e.g., that wacky silver number that, yeah, is fugilicious but that makes her look like the type of hour glass make men weep seminal fluid!). The worst crime against fashion is to wear clothes that transform a phenomenal, physics-defying figure into Kate Bosworth's fat suit nightmare. People, clothes should fit!
Posted by: Emily | Mar 20, 2008 3:26:16 PM
How is HBC winning? HBC is adorably kooky so her fug is forgiven.
Posted by: Chelsea | Mar 20, 2008 3:30:42 PM
PS - I love Jennifer Lopez. I love her even more when I pretend she actually speaks the way y'all write her. Fantastic! Those are my favorite posts. They're too funny for me to read at work because I just can't stop laughing! (That's how I felt about Britney's letters to Justin, too, before her life just stopped being funny. I'm so glad you guys don't post about her. That would just be in poor taste.)
Posted by: Emily | Mar 20, 2008 3:30:43 PM
HBC is HBiC when it comes to acting and being generally awesome...could anyone be a better Belatrix?...but she dresses in REAL LIFE like she really DID just escape from a loony prison.
lopez just tries to hard. and i voted for anyone who has an obvious fur obsession. not preaching, just find it yucky so it auto-boosts anyones "fug factor" in my eyes.
Posted by: klate | Mar 20, 2008 3:36:37 PM
Everyday on my way home from work I drive past an incredibly hideous billboard from Balenciaga. From a distance, the model looks like an incredibly ugly guy in an incredibly ugly football jersey. It's only when you get closer that you realize it is the blue version of the horrible dress Jennifer Connolly is wearing (under the cut). Seriously, that thing is so freaking ugly, I am amazed West Hollywood Sheriff Department hasn't demanded it come down due to risk of traffic accidents...maybe that's because the dress is a traffic accident already...
Lordy...
Posted by: ruth | Mar 20, 2008 3:38:14 PM
Is patsky a Professor Emeritus of Fugmatics? I'm impressed. My game theory is simpler: the fug crown is coveted, an honor. Fugshion has long been the means by which the faceless starlet wins our affection if not our praise. In this strange colony, the alpha seizes the fugly sepulchre every time, and pulverizes the loser into powdery blandness. Ashes to ashes, and render unto Cesar etc.
Therefore:
Lopez wears beige Portman as face creme.
Bonham Carter taunts nepotist Osborne in her dreams. HBC played a junkie doctor on Miami Vice, come on now.
Need I go on?
The Golden Giantess trounces the pixie, Conelly burns holes into Liu with her twin lasers of fug.
Posted by: bogwitch | Mar 20, 2008 3:41:39 PM
Is patsky a Professor Emeritus of Fugmatics? I'm impressed. My game theory is simpler: the fug crown is coveted, an honor. Fugshion has long been the means by which the faceless starlet wins our affection if not our praise. In this strange colony, the alpha seizes the fugly sepulchre every time, and pulverizes the loser into powdery blandness. Ashes to ashes, and render unto Cesar etc.
Therefore:
Lopez wears beige Portman as face creme.
Bonham Carter taunts nepotist Osborne in her dreams. HBC played a junkie doctor on Miami Vice, come on now.
Need I go on?
The Golden Giantess trounces the pixie, Conelly burns holes into Liu with her twin lasers of fug.
Posted by: bogwitch | Mar 20, 2008 3:43:01 PM
Is patsky a Professor Emeritus of Fugmatics? I'm impressed. My game theory is simpler: the fug crown is coveted, an honor. Fugshion has long been the means by which the faceless starlet wins our affection if not our praise. In this strange colony, the alpha seizes the fugly sepulchre every time, and pulverizes the loser into powdery blandness. Ashes to ashes, and render unto Cesar etc.
Therefore:
Lopez wears beige Portman as face creme.
Bonham Carter taunts nepotist Osborne in her dreams. HBC played a junkie doctor on Miami Vice, come on now.
Need I go on?
The Golden Giantess trounces the pixie, Conelly burns holes into Liu with her twin lasers of fug.
Posted by: bogwitch | Mar 20, 2008 3:44:43 PM
I wish a) could afford those gray boots JLo is wearing and b) had somewhere to wear them. I would not disgrace them by pairing them with a turban.
Posted by: MWG | Mar 20, 2008 3:46:32 PM
Maybe Kelly's brand of fug is just more my cup of tea--all kicky and fun, the kind of wackiness you get into when you're young. Maybe It's the disturbing Miss Havisham vibe HBC gives off. But I had to throw my fugging vote at Bedlam-Carter.
Posted by: dimestore lipstick | Mar 20, 2008 3:52:39 PM
J.Lo. vs. Natalie Portman. Interesting pairing considering their views on animal fashion. J Lo would eat foix gras and veal while draped in fur and leather while Portman has a vegan line of clothing. Since fur is the ultimate in fug, J Lo wins hands down.
Posted by: MeanJean | Mar 20, 2008 4:00:33 PM
In the HBC/Osborne bracket, HBC wins hands-down based solely on the Bath Factor. That is, Kelly is most assuredly a wack-nut, and clearly wears what normal people would consider "costumes" the vast majority of the time. BUT, and it's a big one (Kelly-sized, if you will), she always looks clean. HBC usually looks like she has small animals living in her hair.
Take a bath, HBC. Kelly might just beat you.
Posted by: Antof9 | Mar 20, 2008 4:04:03 PM
For some reason, that I have never been able to explain to anyone or even myself -I have this affection for Jennifer Lopez's crazy-ass outfits.
That year at the Oscar's when she had the super big Valley of the Dolls hair? I think I was the only one who loved it.
But then I always loved Cher's crazy outfits.
And really at heart I kind of like Bob Mackie.
I am not even a drag queen.
What is my excuse?
Posted by: Genevieve | Mar 20, 2008 4:05:28 PM
Why only 1 picture of Natalie?
Posted by: Catherine | Mar 20, 2008 4:06:49 PM
Lordy, I had no idea how bad things had gotten in Camp Lopez. I agree with whoever said she might be a sleeper in this competition. I keep thinking that it's because she wasn't always this bad. But, then I remember the ensemble of a long ago VMA red carpet which consisted of waders, a peasant shirt and a hat from Rodgers and Hammerstein's Oklahoma. Also, I don't think I've ever gotten over her fugtastic during her Fly Girl days. She always had it in her. Portman didn't stand a chance.
To Patsky, your statistical analysis is ingenius. (And, possibly the funniest thing I've read this year.)
Posted by: Kristin | Mar 20, 2008 4:11:56 PM
This was an interesting category, in that each match up contained 1 person I not-so-secretly adore, OR, 1 person I absolutely cannot stand.
In other words... I'm sorry to say... but personality overruled all fashion sense in this one for me.
I am shamed.
Posted by: Megan | Mar 20, 2008 4:12:40 PM
So sometimes I'm a little torn about whether to vote for who I like better (Natalie Portman, because I want to see more pictures of her and I F-ING LOVE THAT DRESS (on her, obvs)) or who actually dresses worse (eg I voted for Kelly Osbourne because, while HBC does dress excessively crazy, and not just some of the time, it's more an eccentricity with her than a lapse in style judgement, and I like how it complements her personality and her husband) or who I hate the most (beyonce, because I hate her, everyone can get mad if they want to, so I voted for her over Kylie Minogue, whose fashion faux pas I feel exceed her own, but I really want to insult beyonce by having her win this.)
I NEED GUIDANCE!
Posted by: Maz | Mar 20, 2008 4:29:52 PM
Sometimes there's such a fine line between fabulous and bat-shit crazy...
Posted by: Naomi | Mar 20, 2008 4:32:56 PM
Beyonce trumps all with her cameltoe collection by House of Dereonmom. HBC really should be in the Bjork category, because there isn't a Goodwill category. Mad crazy math props to Debbi, totally worth a scrollup from here to behold.
Posted by: Erin | Mar 20, 2008 4:35:30 PM
Sorry, fugmath props to Patsky!
Posted by: Erin | Mar 20, 2008 4:37:59 PM
Looking at all of the "matches" today, I'm starting to wonder how any one of these ladies didn't look in the mirror and start laughing before leaving the house. But, I have to say that the hardest had to be Jennifer Connelly vs. Lucy Liu. Connelly wins fug for me as both of her fug dresses had fug shoes.
Posted by: Liz | Mar 20, 2008 4:40:32 PM
This is amazing. I love life. Thank you, Fug Girls, for so much fun, so much fug.
Btw, I actually think Fug Madness SHOULD be based off one picture that you post of each candidate, because that's more accurate to the real March Madness spirit, AND it's more fair. People are going to put some biases in, of course, but for a true annual face-off, seems to me like taking a whole career of fug into account isn't as accurate.
Just a thought for future competitions. :)
Posted by: Kristan | Mar 20, 2008 4:45:18 PM
Oh Naomi, truer words were never spoken.
I could not vote for Beyonce (or, "Bouncy" as my husband calls her) because I, too see the fug crown as one to covet, not be ashamed of. It's akin to the Hasty Pudding award, NOT the Razzie. Bouncy just doesn't get that she's fug, whereas Kylie is kinda saying, "screw you world - I beat cancer, and I'll wear whatever the f**k I want."
Bravo Kylie - and hence, my vote!
Posted by: Lorraine Bates | Mar 20, 2008 4:49:12 PM
the insanity is an endless source of amusement..I love this
I <3 H&J
Posted by: Amy | Mar 20, 2008 5:07:33 PM
I'm with guylaine. I miss your regular posts. Is this going to be a new 'norm'? If so, gotta say I'm out.
Posted by: Becca | Mar 20, 2008 5:30:28 PM
You CANNOT count it against (for?) Lucy Lui what she wears on the set of a TV show! NOT... HER... CHOICE!
Posted by: Jnett | Mar 20, 2008 5:34:25 PM
What's with the hate on Natalie's hair?? I thought she looked beautiful with the shaved head. So brave and different and gorgeous.
Posted by: gbs | Mar 20, 2008 5:56:06 PM
I gave it to Jennifer because half of Lucy's entries are costumes and the other half are things that she ALMOST manages because she's got so much attitude. They're always dramatic and she commits to them. I admire that.
Posted by: iambe | Mar 20, 2008 6:09:54 PM
I used to live in the WeHo/Beverly Center area and I saw HBC in person twice in front of the Rexall drug store. Now, whilst I love me some Lucy Honeychurch too, and HBC is beautiful, she dresses craazazayzay. It blew my mind because it was back in the days before the almighty Gofugyourself existed so I really had NO idea. I was quite taken aback. Her clothes are a hot mess.
Posted by: Gert | Mar 20, 2008 6:23:03 PM
I have to go with Natalie because I feel like she's one of the pretty women who can't stand being pretty so she has to subconsciously ruin it. Paging Dr. Frued...
Posted by: Denise | Mar 20, 2008 7:29:37 PM
I too, adore HBC, but her fugness in fashion is high art, and she deserves to win! Kylie, ditto!
JHO & Beyuckce are NO-BRAINERS ftw
Posted by: dv8trix | Mar 20, 2008 7:38:17 PM
HBC is, if I recall correctly, the great-granddaughter of a British Prime Minister and the granddaughter of a hyphenated nobleman of some sort. She therefore has to uphold the grand tradition of Daft and Barmy Upper Class Brit. This heritage demands a high placement in Fughood for the woman. Besides, she was WAYYYYY too convincing as Bellatrix Lestrange.
Posted by: Karen | Mar 20, 2008 8:02:00 PM
I blamed so much on J.Lo's desire to hide her pregnancy . . . and in doing so, forgot (i.e., blocked out) the fugtacious ensembs before the conception. Upon review of the files, I think she has a chance to make the final rounds, if not the final cut.
Kelly just annoys me . . . but HBC got the fug vote. She's plainly a complete nutter.
I confess to actually liking the way Beyonce looks more often than not - so had to go against the tide on that one.
Very tough between Jennifer and Lucy. I hate Cashmere Mafia and what it appears to be doing to Lucy's wardrobe . . . but I love Lucy! Plus, how does Jennifer even begin to explain that Laura Ashley/poison/drunk/throw up number? She had to win this round.
Posted by: Ceili | Mar 20, 2008 8:06:32 PM
I don't get why Lucy Liu is winning. Most of those links are costumes - a tad misleading! Jennifer is gorgeous, she should know better. At least Lucy's sheath dress was fitted and flattering.
Posted by: yvonen | Mar 20, 2008 8:07:49 PM
OMG, LOVE the March Madness Fuglees, but I keep getting grossly distracted by the quadra-boobed girl ad! Anything you can do about this or is part of the fug contest? Easily the hands down winner, but JLo not far behind.
Your best work (Excluding my fave Sharon Stone and "Leslie" Lohan-COOTER conversation)
Thanks!!!
Posted by: Ima Laffin | Mar 20, 2008 8:22:44 PM
Jennifer, because as much as I try to like her, she annoys me with her unecessarily fugly outfits.
Kylie, because she's now old enough to know better than to ever re-use a bridesmaid's dress from the 1980s. You CAN'T wear them again.
Kelly, because she could be so beautiful if she just dressed even a little bit like a normal daughter of a rock star and did something flattering with her hair. And she's young so maybe there is hope for reform.
Lucy, because she annoys me more than her competitor.
Posted by: Susan | Mar 20, 2008 8:24:00 PM
Round 1: Knockout for J.Lo. Yes, I just called her that. Besides, the comments for her pictures make me laugh out loud since I imagine that's how she really talks.
Round 2: Helena Bonham-Carter is fantastic, even if fugtastic and bird-nesty all at once. So, I voted for the underdog, Kelly Osbourne, despite the fact that she's been cuter lately. I had to, after seeing the Hairspray-Extra-on-crack photo.
Round 3: Beyonce all the way, baby. She is the definition of trashy showgirl fugtasticness. The fact that she wore C3P0 and looked fierce doing it proves this.
Round 4: Jennifer Connelly, just because of that horrible 80s acid puke print dress and cornea-searing shoes.
Posted by: ScarlettB | Mar 20, 2008 8:28:43 PM
I'm not sure it's fair to criticize Lucy Liu for costumes worn on the job. I'd wear 'em too if they paid me enough. :)
Posted by: buttercup | Mar 20, 2008 9:20:03 PM
J-Fug over Natalie-Picture it: A backwoods area that has been bombed with glitter and sequins; 1990ish to present time: A coyote eats small, furry creatures of various colors who have ingested the glitter and sequins. The coyote vomits. J-Fug, to me looks like this particular coyote's vomit, mostly due to her way of being so very Cruella Deville about wearing fur. Plus, Natalie was gorgeous to me even with the shaved head and nothing that she has worn made me shrivel my face up to an "EWWW."
HBC over Kelly-Kelly has looked kinda chic, or at least CLEAN. HBC looks like she stole the Pigeon Lady's from Home Alone 2 style. I fully expect a bird to fly from her hair one day while she and Tim are on the red carpet, go get a worm (maybe the one at the bottom of the tequila bottle Tara Reid is nursing) and fly back to HBC's head to feed her babies and HBC not to even flinch.
Beyonce over Kylie-I've seen Kylie look cute and at least her clothing fits her. Plus, Beyonce is a grown ass woman who should be able to tell her mother to shove off and make her own clothing choices. OH! House of Derreon (or however that mess is spelled) has a line for small children now! I do not agree with the spreading of prostitot wear.
Lucy over Jennifer-Neither bug me much and I just love Jennifer's eyebrows.
Posted by: Sophia Patrillo | Mar 20, 2008 9:25:17 PM
I was 180-out on this category. If I hadn't done the other categories first, I would have thought I was voting wrong.
Posted by: LLL | Mar 20, 2008 9:25:56 PM
PS: We're working on the quadra-boob ad. It should be down soon.
Posted by: Jessica | Mar 20, 2008 9:37:03 PM
Connelly all the way in the last matchup, y'all. Might I remind you that almost all of Lucy Liu's fuggings were not her doing?
Posted by: Kris | Mar 20, 2008 9:55:27 PM
No way could Beyonce be the fugliest! Thats a STAGE costume, and she looks rad.
Posted by: Jessica | Mar 20, 2008 10:00:25 PM
Ok, pit stains cannot be forgiven...just......no. Even over HBC's crazy ass, Osborn takes this one.
Posted by: Missie | Mar 20, 2008 10:14:27 PM
I have to go with Beyoncé. 1) She's a hometown girl. 2) Her mother designs all that crap!
Posted by: Katharine | Mar 20, 2008 10:22:34 PM
I had to vote for Jennifer Connelly, just because of the mesh shoes. Mesh shoes are worse than socks with Crocs. They are the Supreme Fug of fugly footwear. :P
Posted by: Kelsey | Mar 20, 2008 10:24:49 PM
N.Port is petite and cute, and I loved her short haircut. J.Lo, meanwhile, looks like "Mrs. Roper" from Three's Company half the time, and Dynasty-era Joan Collins the other.
HBC kinda dresses like a real-life Bellatrix Lestrange...eek.
Kylie, having survived cancer, can wear whatevertheheck she wants, IMO. Meanwhile, Beyonce looks like an animated disco ball. If my mom had that taste in clothes AND insisted on dressing me in "Hello there Sailor!" outfits, I'd have masses of issues.
Posted by: Ailurophile | Mar 20, 2008 10:38:36 PM
You know, if anyone can wear gold and hotpants, it's Beyoncé.
Posted by: Z | Mar 20, 2008 11:09:59 PM
HBC is the definition if crazy. If I ever saw her on the street, I would probably run very far in the other direction.
In fact, today I was watching the EncoreLove channel and there was a commercial for some movie with HBC in it, but she wasn't in any period clothing or gothic strangeness. I was completely baffled. I sort of felt like Alice. Or Neo. I always get those two mixed up.
And Beyonce is fetching but BORING. It just seems to me like B is some sort of control group for the human race. But I could Be(yonce) wrong.
Posted by: Julia Ann | Mar 20, 2008 11:13:59 PM
Whoever said, "fugocity", I love you and if you live in L.A. county, I will find you, marry you, and together come up with new ways to mock forever. Amen.
Posted by: eva | Mar 21, 2008 12:29:40 AM
Some of those brackets were difficult, because while I love their work, I had to base my vote on The outfit in question. therefore, sorry Helena bonham carter, as much as I love you, kelly osbourne was the one in the bracket who wouldn't prompt me to cross to the otherside of the street to avoid being pickpocketed/accosted.
Posted by: katie | Mar 21, 2008 12:40:11 AM
Closest race is Beyonce v. Kylie. Couldn't decide until I imagined them trading clothes. Easy to picture Kylie wearing any of Beyonce's looks; but B wouldn't be seen dead in some of K's fugliest.
Posted by: Nikki | Mar 21, 2008 12:58:11 AM
I must confess to finding the anti-Kylie very painful... no, she hasn't always worked it, but surely if we are going through her whole history, she's managed sexy far more than Beyonce? I mean, I did see the special exhibition on her at the V&A in London.
Also- Liu over Connelly- not that Connelly isn't fug, but she's just boring, whereas at least Liu's keeping it lively.
Posted by: Abby | Mar 21, 2008 2:45:37 AM
not only is beoynce's outfit really shiny but its a wonder how she could dance in that thing!
Posted by: Sarah | Mar 21, 2008 2:53:20 AM
I love HBC. Wacky, irreverent, apathetic about being perceived as wacky...long may she fug supreme.
Posted by: Helen | Mar 21, 2008 3:56:49 AM
I can't believe Lucy Liu is beating Jennifer Connelly!!! Jennifer's style is HORRIBLE you guys!!
Posted by: Jaime | Mar 21, 2008 5:57:13 AM
I voted Connelly just because her eyebrows have bothered me for YEARS! thin those puppies out please. and at least Liu is trying to be fashion forward. that Laura Ashley turned autopy sew up dress that Connelly wore was the instant cincher for me.
Posted by: Holly | Mar 21, 2008 6:08:10 AM
Beyonce is definitely clothes worthy of a final four appearance.
Lucy Liu lately has been horrible, I must say, which trumps the beautiful drama queen who might be able to get away with all the drama (like HBC, some serious drama and singing queen).
Posted by: annette | Mar 21, 2008 6:08:45 AM
I agree with those who say Natalie Portman shouldn't be included. She is way more fab than fug!
Posted by: Maegan | Mar 21, 2008 6:21:49 AM
This is great! Keep it up! Chloe Sevigney will win it all
Posted by: Diana | Mar 21, 2008 6:24:23 AM
I don't know why, but the Beyonce/Kylie match up has posed the greatest consternation for me so far! Beyonce's mother's design aspirations run into the costume...and surely Beyonce doesn't wear all these fugilicious items completely by choice? There is obviously some familial pressure being put upon her. For Kylie, she has to really battle the club-wear/tranny-emulated pressure from her core audience...hence the granny outfit (with the sideslit...OMFG!)and the bridesmaid gown. Ultimately it came down to how much I hate Beyonce's Amex commercial with her bounding boobs in that fugggggyyyy dress. and Yeah, Right you shop personally for your nephew's boomerang!
Posted by: Michelle | Mar 21, 2008 6:47:50 AM
Again, I freaking LOVE the sling dress...
Posted by: Reese | Mar 21, 2008 7:16:42 AM
HBC hands down. She has been perfecting her fug for YEARS. Kelly Osborne started off strong but has been just not putting her best fug forward these days.
The Beyonce/Kylie was tough, I LOVE Kylie and would want her to win anything, but who can ignore someone like Beyonce who seems to think C3PO was a fashion icon.
I went Jennifer Connolly on that fight, she is a hot mess. Lucy at least looks like she is trying to be avant garde fashionable, even if she is failing at it.
J.Lo / Natalie there was no competition. J.Lo is the Latina Vampiress Queen of Fug. She is so dedicated to the fug that she married the ultimate fug accessory. You go with your bad self J.Lo!
And I agree, this is the best game idea ever! Thanks Fug ladies!
Posted by: Julie | Mar 21, 2008 7:31:58 AM
I agree with what others are saying re: Lucy Liu being judged in her work clothes for TV show Cashmere Whatever the fug. NOT FAIR, she cant help what they make her wear on a show.
and what is with this saying, "hot mess" that so may are using? I've been out of the USA for awhile so maybe I'm out of "it," but I think you all sound retarded! sorry, just sayin!
Posted by: no1really | Mar 21, 2008 7:37:16 AM
I cannot hold LL's fugs against her, since the majority of her missteps are foisted upon her by a clearly insane stylist. Not to mention, the clothes might be a little crazy but they FIT her, which makes a world of difference. Connolly looks ill-fitting and awkward in every single outfit. That Balenciaga Poison dress is easily the worst thing I've seen on a human figure. Ever. It doesn't look natural and it fits atrociously even on someone like her with a fantastic figure. The fact that she actually looks pleased to be wearing it...well, I just hope she's getting a tidy sum for being so fugly.
Balenciaga really breaks my heart lately. How is it that a house who produced some of the most beautiful clothing in modern fashion (Trapeze line, anyone?) can let something that god-awful out of their doors? It's a crime to Cristobal's good name and talent.
Posted by: Christina | Mar 21, 2008 7:42:05 AM
I have a feeling HBC smells like grandma's attic, and not in a good way.
Posted by: MkTM | Mar 21, 2008 7:46:06 AM
J Lo FTW!
I love HBC with all my heart and would dress just like her if I could. I don't think she is fug - she is in a category by herself which is beyond and outside of fug