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March 31, 2008

Fug Madness 2008: Bjork, "Elite Eight" Round

(1) MISCHA BARTON vs. (3) PARIS HILTON

Oh, these two. These two wacky kids. They've shared so much: boys, booths at Hyde, a dramatic ping-ponging back and forth from looking like Crazy on a Hanger and Hey! Kind of Pretty. Like so:

Bored. But cute! (I like polka dots.)

But then...

Yeah. I hope she's pointing at whomever sold her this mismatched monstrosity and saying, "YOU! I AM COMING FOR YOU. I LOOK LIKE A BAD AFTERNOON WITH FASHION PLATES." But she's probably just picking that evening's escort out of the crowd.

And then there's Cooper. Looking at her photos, I was struck -- as I often am with her -- by how truly pretty she is. And she often looks very pretty indeed:

And then again, sometimes not:

WTF, sugarplum? This isn't the first time I've seen this -- it's in the book -- but I find it as reminiscent of a first grader as costumed by ABBA as I did then.  God, the shared, life-long doubles tennis match between Fine and Fug between these two is giving me a terrible crick in the neck.

Posted by H & J at 10:00 AM in Fug Madness | Permalink

Comments

These really are getting soul-searching hard! I'm going with Mischa based on the 'should know better' standard.

Posted by: steph | Mar 31, 2008 10:04:53 AM

Paris, Paris, ALL THE WAY. At least Misch is capable of looking classy and cute and human when she feels like it, although sometimes in need of a shower, whereas Paz always appears to have been assembled in some sort of factory. A really expensive but ugly factory.

Posted by: Moya | Mar 31, 2008 10:06:41 AM

Paris. It's all Paris. I mean, she SHOPS FOR A LIVING, for jeebus' sake! Her fug is an affront to our senses as well as her family legacy. And it's not hereditary - Nicki looks quite nice, quite often.

Posted by: Lorraine Bates | Mar 31, 2008 10:06:44 AM

Paris can never NOT be Fug. Ever. Nuff said.

Posted by: Loob | Mar 31, 2008 10:07:06 AM

I actually really want that bodysuit Mischa is wearing... it's just weird with the gold underneath, I SWEAR. Plus, Paris's existence fugs up my life, and everyone elses, so I hope she wins this, and then the prize is that I NEVER HAVE TO SEE THEM AGAIN.

(side note: if an Olsen, Chloe Sevigny or Lindsay wins, that rule will no longer apply. )

Posted by: Maz | Mar 31, 2008 10:07:27 AM

So positive am I, in fact, that I wrote in *P.Hilt* in blue pen several days ago. ;)

Posted by: Loob | Mar 31, 2008 10:09:42 AM

mischa just seems misguided - good intentioned, but misguided. paris revels in it - everything about her is fug. personality, reputation, activities, attitude, friends. she's just gross. mischa seems kinda sweet, and at least her color palate is usually reasonable.

Posted by: elisabeth | Mar 31, 2008 10:10:48 AM

People hate Paris obviously, but the difference between the two is that at least Paris tries to look cute (whether she succeeds is a different issue). Misha suffers from the Chloe Sevigny "I-think-I'm-so-forward-anything-I-throw-on-is-a-fashion-statement" syndrome. Not to be confused with the Cameron Diaz "I-think-I'm-so-hot-I-don't-have-to-try" syndrome...

Posted by: Iz | Mar 31, 2008 10:11:54 AM

Sweet Jeebus, Paris should know better! She shops for a living (thanks, Lorraine), and goes to all the fashion shows. No excuse. She gets my vote.

Posted by: mrs o | Mar 31, 2008 10:11:55 AM

No matter how deserving, I cannot vote for Paris, I cannot be part of anything that causes her anymore undeserved attention. I think her picture should definitively be in the dictionary next to "media whore". I will be very sad if somehow she wins this whole thing. Because she'll just print up a new dress with "Paris is the ultimate fug" printed on it over her lady parts and get her picture taken by 200 paparazzi.

Posted by: judy jetson | Mar 31, 2008 10:12:15 AM

Maybe it's just lingering hatred of the whole Marissa Cooper/Ryan Atwood relationship plotline, not to mention the horrible, unflattering clam diggers she wore a number of times on the first few episodes of The OC, as though she wouldn't get a resounding "Ew!" from Summer for wearing the same pants more than once ever, but I have to go with Mischa here.

With Paris Hilton, I feel like taking an "if you ignore her, maybe she'll go away" approach to this. I'm sure she'd be honored if she won Fug Madness, and who wants to give her that satisfaction?

Posted by: Claire | Mar 31, 2008 10:12:18 AM

Paris IS fug.

Hey, remember that Carl's Junior ad she did?

Posted by: Z | Mar 31, 2008 10:12:24 AM

I think it kind of insults the likes of Tara Reid that Mischa got this far at all, but I realise that it's partially the luck of the competitor's draw.

Posted by: Loob | Mar 31, 2008 10:12:36 AM

These really are getting soul-searching hard! I'm going with Mischa based on the 'should know better' standard.

Posted by: steph | Mar 31, 2008 10:12:43 AM

I seem to be going with the underdogs this morning, but I have seen far too many Mischa mistakes to give her a pass. And I cannot find it in my heart or my index finger to vote for anything Paris Hilton.

Posted by: Cecily | Mar 31, 2008 10:12:50 AM

No, please don't vote for Paris Hilton! I don't want her to win! We should just ignore her until she goes away. If you see her on the street, shut your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears, and sing "Blitzkrieg Bop" really loudly.

Posted by: Tabula Swift | Mar 31, 2008 10:14:11 AM

Tough choice. I choose Paris because when Mischa strays it at least looks like she was trying to be creative or edgy or something. But when Paris fugs, her thought seems to be only on "Do I look skanky enough? Would I do me?"

Posted by: susan | Mar 31, 2008 10:14:44 AM

Mischa all the way...not only should she know better but she's actually created terrible trends like the high-waisted pants.

Posted by: D | Mar 31, 2008 10:15:58 AM

Oh, and to all who fears Paris winning Fug Madness, do not forget Chloe and of course, the God of Fug, Bai Ling!

Posted by: Z | Mar 31, 2008 10:16:31 AM

Um, GUYS. No matter what Paris looks like on a bad day, she has never worn HIGH WAISTED MOM JEANS! It has to be The Barton!

Posted by: Genevieve | Mar 31, 2008 10:17:57 AM

I have to vote for Mischa. Paris--I think--cultivates an over-the-top image in which being batshitcrazyfugly all the time is sort of par for the course. Mischa, however, seems to think she's a fashion icon. But seriously--the high-waisted pants, floppy mumus (is it a dress or a shirt?) and scuzzy-fuzzy hair. Major fug.

Posted by: Lindy | Mar 31, 2008 10:19:48 AM

easy one - PARIS. what i am DREADING is the face off between the sev and bai ling. both such high preistesses of fug. i mean, how am i supposed to really choose?!

Posted by: sophia | Mar 31, 2008 10:19:58 AM

I agree with everyone who said that Paris should not get any more attention. And Mischa fugs it up so often, I forget how pretty she is, as the Fug Girls mention. I think any celebrity who looks like she stumbled out of bed the morning after an impromptu dorm party and headed straight for Starbucks without changing or showering or brushing her hair or maybe even her teeth deserves to win over Paris Hilton, who needs to just go away already. PLEASE.

Posted by: lesli | Mar 31, 2008 10:21:27 AM

I agree, Elisabeth. I think these two are evenly matched sartorially. Their hits are SO few & far between compared to their misses. While I'd venture to say Mischa has the fuglier daytime wardrobe (all the high-waisted shorts are seared into my memory) I've gotta vote for P.Hilt because she is really the Embodiment of Fug.
Whereas Mischa seems *relatively* unassuming, Paris *actually thinks* we should adore her and worship her and want to wear her likeness across our chests. This girl convinced half the world that she came up with "That's hot" on her own. Ugh, she's vile. Plus all the nasty clothes. Fug fug fug.
Paris could go all the way [insert requisite related jokes here].

Posted by: Beth | Mar 31, 2008 10:22:09 AM

I have to go with the Barton on this. She walks around looking completely wackadoo and yet we are told by all sorts of people that she is supposed to be so fashionable and wears clothes so well, blah blah blah. Well, I don't care how fashionable it is - if its fug its fug. And she's responsible for bringing highwaisted pants back which look terrible on her and everyone else. As for Hilton, yeah she can't seem to dress herself either, but at least no one is claiming her to be some pillar of great fashion that we should all aspire to.

Posted by: kate johnson | Mar 31, 2008 10:22:59 AM

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