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March 12, 2008

Scrolldown Fug: Whitney Port

I feel like Whitney Port, being the one person on The Hills who may have been legitimately employed in the fashion industry even if just for a short time, must feel some pressure to Be That Girl out in public. You know, the one who always has something slightly left-of-center going on with her outfit, as if to suggest at very well hidden avant-garde depths.

But I wish she'd throw these shoes back into the sludgy pit whence they came.

At first I thought those were black high-top sneakers. That was bad enough. But in reality... oh, cold, cruel reality.

They are actually... well, WHAT are they, exactly? I believe the technical term is something like, "Ugg-Lite Bootie-Type Thingies," but I'm unclear how to parse that into a single word of derision that isn't going to take some deity or other's name in vain. I would maybe have understood if Katie Holmes wore these on the red carpet after she ran the marathon (and no, I'm not putting "ran" in quotes, because I seriously don't care if she really ran it or not -- I mean, if she didn't, it's not like she lied her way into an awesome three-hour time, and also, frankly, isn't lying about running 26.2 miles more fun than ACTUALLY running 26.2 miles, and better for your joints?), but what is Whitney's excuse for pairing button-bearing slippers with a leather jacket and a dress? At a red-carpet party?  They don't exactly match the tone of the event. Did she have to run 0.2 miles across a street? Bad pedicure? Did Spencer break all of her toes while bowling around a local nightclub trying to find chicks to maybe-kinda cheat on Heidi with, therefore prolonging his front-and-center story arc on The Hills? Oh, please can Spencer somehow be responsible for this travesty. I don't even know if they've really ever spoken, but I need to point my talon of judgment in someone's direction and it does generally default toward him. Let's just agree that somehow, SOME way, this is his fault.

Posted by Heather at 11:40 AM | Permalink

 

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