Shut Up And Fug

That Rihanna is tricky. I need to keep an eye on her. She has this quality about her that almost pulls off clothes that otherwise might make me cringe, and I need to be vigilant, because it almost happened again. Now, maybe it's the fact that I haven't been able to sit up for two days because of a tragic and debilitating flu, or maybe it's because I can't stop sneezing long enough to focus my eyes, but at first blush, this thing on Rihanna did not seem as awful as it could've been. 

Of course, on second and third blush, I changed my mind.

[Photo: Splash News]

Are those merely unhemmed slacks, or is this an unhemmed slacks jumpsuit? You all know how much we support pants 'round here at GFY HQ, but I'm less open to slacks. I'm pretty sure I have both male AND female relatives who are wearing those things in musty old photos from the '70s, and even they had the good sense not to employ them as half of a onesie. It's all very Polyester Sensible, which would also make a great name for the world's most boring Bond girl, and in fact, this might be a nice outfit for her too. Perhaps Polyester Sensible is a stewardess on MI-6's fleet of jets (slogan: Shut Up And Fly), and endears herself to our horndog hero by finding a new way to shake-but-not-stir James's in-flight martini -- something that involves her cleavage pocket up there, perhaps. But slacks that someone spent hours ironing for that perfect top-to-toe crease don't work so well on a lithe modern-day 20-year old.

So even though the color is pretty, and her innate coolness almost carries this off, I have to come down against the slacks jumpsuit. Rihanna is many things; Polyester Sensible is not one of them.

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