April 02, 2008
Fug Madness 2008: Your Final Four
And then there were four: On Thursday, the champions of the brackets will get together and play a sweaty, violent game of two-on-two basketball for the right to win a lifetime supply of caftans. Press-on nails will be a-flyin'. We're so excited!
Once that's done, then there's the Fug Madness polls, in which the Cher champion will face off against the Madonna winner, with Bjork and Charo's respective victors clashing next. Those victors will duke it out on Monday for the crown. It's going to be so intense that we're using any spare minutes in the day to meditate, stretch, dry out our livers, and check in on how David Silver is coping with his drug addiction over on SoapNet.
By request, here's a filled-out bracket for people who are just returning from vacation and want to download a filled-in, the-story-so-far bracket that shows how we got from 65 to 4 (although clicking on our Fug Madness archive and reading through is probably more fun): Download Fug_Madness_bracket_finalfour.jpg
Now, here are you bracket winners.
WINNER: (2) SHARON STONE
It had gotten to the point where we thought it couldn't be done. Tiny little 5-foot-nothing (or so we assume) Courtney Peldon turned into the giantess of this competition, laying waste to every higher seed that stood in her way. But she was no match for the pure, unbridled, nutty flavor of a hot cup of Sharon Stone. When you wear a rat's paw pinned to your jacket, you trump spangled bra tops -- or at least, that's what we're assuming the lesson is here. We also quite sincerely hope Sharon DOES take Courtney under her wing, because maybe they could bust this thing wide open in 2009 by competing as a pair. Somebody please get on arranging that.
Sharon will next compete against the winner of the Madonna bracket, who is...
WINNER: (1) VICTORIA "POSH SPICE" BECKHAM
With 62 percent of the vote, Posh dispatched Beyonce in a battle of sorta-kinda one-named people who surely aspire to be as memorable as the ones for whom we've named the brackets. We are giddy with anticipation at her next contest -- Posh? Sharon Stone? Together? Will EITHER of them come out alive?
PERSON WHO EMERGED AHEAD OF EVERYONE ELSE: (3) PARIS HILTON
Sigh. I'm morally opposed to calling Paris a "winner," or a "champion," so I'd prefer to make it sound like the Bjork Bracket is something she just sort of made her way out of, like leaving Hyde on a Friday night and throwing a few elbows to make sure you get to the paparazzi before anyone else does. Mischa Barton really should've trained harder; she could only drum up support from 30 percent of you, so Paris coasted to this victory without even really breaking a sweat. However, she should prepare to perspire like a South Florida deluge on Thursday, because guess who she gets next?
WINNER: (2) BAI LING
This may have been one of our most dramatic competitions yet, and I don't mean that in the douchey, Bachelor-style, "Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony Ever, For Real This Time, We Swear, You Are Going To Pass Out And Hit Your Head On The Coffee Table From All The Drama and The Roses And The Ceremony" way. This one was a corker, for real: Bai was winning by a percent. Then she wasn't. Then Chloe was up by THREE percent and it was all looking very grim indeed, until about an hour after lunch time, at which point all the Bai Ling fans snapped out of their food comas and voted like crazy. She squeaked through with a 51 percent mandate.
We're agonizing already and it's not even Final Four day yet.
I closed comments on the most recent brackets just to keep things neat -- comments ahoy here!
Posted by: Jessica | Apr 2, 2008 10:33:14 AM
After laboriously explaining Fug Madness to my husband last night and gushing over our final four mavens of fashion he suggested that next year Fug Madness should be televised. I'd like to second that, and add that Fug Madness would make an excellent drinking game!
Posted by: bonemot | Apr 2, 2008 10:36:23 AM
I'm so depressed about Courtney Peldon. I was seriously considering taking down my bracket from the door of my dorm (as my own sad little protest), but then I remembered all the funny looks it got from tour groups, and I decided to leave it up.
Posted by: Claire | Apr 2, 2008 10:36:32 AM
Good idea Bonemot! There should be catfights with weave pulling and turban throwing!
Posted by: guthriesmom | Apr 2, 2008 10:39:29 AM
Will next year be limited to 2008 fug, or still the body of fug work?
Posted by: Jael | Apr 2, 2008 10:39:32 AM
I have to say I'm morally opposed to Paris Hilton winning anything, so she's gotta be first to go. Wile I have nothing against Bai Ling, I don't want to 'reward her behavior' (whatup, Natalie Cole) by putting a tiara on that wig, either, so for me, it's down to batty Sharon Stone vs. Posh.
Now both la Stone and Posh embody what is to me the essence of Fug: that is to say, they are crazy batsh*t insane, their clothing is at times fabulous but mostly cringeworthy, and I would cut off my right arm to have brunch with either of them in a hot minute.
I'm at an impasse. Give it to Posh because her skin is starting to seem like it would make a fine purse? Or go with Sharon, whose scalp would ironically make a fine trim for one of her outfits? I am all atwitter.
Posted by: Atomicflea | Apr 2, 2008 10:43:58 AM
I'm supposed to be revising for my finals at the moment (6 weeks to go...) but instead spent all today sitting in the library, daydreaming about a bitchfight between Bai Ling and Paris. Can't wait! This is all that's keeping me awake right now...
Posted by: Sian | Apr 2, 2008 10:46:34 AM
Putting in my vote for next year being one year's worth of fug only. From now on, it needs to be "but what have you fugged for us lately?", to keep the competitors on their peekaboo platform toes.
It should really be on a FY (that's "Fug Year") basis, with the official end of the FY being the day after the Oscars, but that may be too confusing.
Posted by: Doctor Science | Apr 2, 2008 10:49:10 AM
How could La Peldon lose? I thought she was a shoe-in for sure.
Now I'm rooting for Bai Ling for all her hard work in the field of fug.
Posted by: Allegra | Apr 2, 2008 10:49:12 AM
Seriously, can you look into television rights for this? Because awesome. I'm sure E!!!!!!! or VH1 would be willing participants. Or I guess if you wanted to be a bit edgier you could go with FX. Your call.
Posted by: PDX Pup | Apr 2, 2008 10:50:38 AM
I'm predicting a final smackdown between Posh and Bai. I want Posh to take it all!
Posted by: Gina | Apr 2, 2008 10:52:26 AM
Posted by: Madeline | Apr 2, 2008 10:53:04 AM
I am STILL very angry about Le Sev.
I have a bitterness inside me that will actually allow me to vote Paris into the finals just to get Bai Ling off the polls. I don't even want to look at her anymore.
Bitter. Just bitter.
Posted by: Megan | Apr 2, 2008 10:53:59 AM
i see a bai/posh showdown in the near future!
just think - if bai wins the whole thing, this will be her single most impressive accomplishment to date!
Posted by: Lynnae | Apr 2, 2008 10:54:04 AM
There is no justice. Without Chloe as top fug, the world simply does not make sense...
Posted by: Emily | Apr 2, 2008 10:54:49 AM
This Final Four is like VD Gone Wild. Is it sponsored by Valtrex or something?
Posted by: j.pal | Apr 2, 2008 10:54:59 AM
A televised version could run on the American Idol format, with the voters calling or texting their selections. There could be fashion shows and musical extravaganzas. Who could host? My vote's for Intern George.
Posted by: Genny | Apr 2, 2008 10:58:28 AM
ps - i too am completely FOR the televised version next year!!!!
Posted by: lynnae | Apr 2, 2008 10:58:31 AM
I thought Fug Madness was the best idea ever, but TELEVISED Fug Madness would be the BEST THING EVER!!!
Ladies, please get on that! You've got to get your spangled, be-turbaned empire of fug on the march!
Posted by: jen | Apr 2, 2008 10:58:45 AM
Televised Awards next year would definatly be fuggin' fun, but can they be sent online as well then? for those of us who aren't actually American and have all the television canals? thank you very much please!
Posted by: Julie | Apr 2, 2008 10:59:25 AM
I was so looking forward to a Sharon Stone VS Chloe Sevigny FINAL. Oh well. I will still wear my white sunglasses, high waisted shorts and black uggs to the finals despite the unfortunate defeat of my fav, Princess Catsuit McCigarette. Got to go find some dead animal to wear to the semis.
Posted by: lkf | Apr 2, 2008 10:59:47 AM
Stone of Bai??? That's what it will be. I feel like it has to go to Sharon because she really is what fug means.
Posted by: Fatima | Apr 2, 2008 11:00:35 AM
Both of my Kentucky teams fell short of that other Final Four -- thanks for giving me someone to keep rooting for (bring it, Sharon Stone)!
Posted by: Carla | Apr 2, 2008 11:01:44 AM
But, but, but Sev was supposed to win the whole lot! Didn't everyone see with their own eyes the extreme fug she not only wears and embodies, but that she pedals. She sells her fug on the street! Bai Ling is simply an attention seeker. Sev is much more ambitious and seditious and perditious than that.(Sorry, can't think of any other -itious words off the bat, but you get the idea.) Sev wants your money! I demand a recount!
Posted by: tracy | Apr 2, 2008 11:04:50 AM
Oh, man, it's gotta be a Posh/Bai Ling death match.
Posted by: crc | Apr 2, 2008 11:05:33 AM
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